Chapter 21 - High On Buns

It was a beautiful summer day in Jiangzhen and the sun shone brightly through the shutters, casting dancing shadows on the walls. The breeze was something of a dream, not coming from the holes riddling the roof, but snaking inside with the sunlight, so Lei had decided to enjoy the silence of the afternoon with a cup of tea.

It’d taken all night to prepare the spiritual menu for that cultivator woman, but Lei was proud of the work. He’d just grilled the patties and the fries, waiting for Fatty Lou to bring him the buns.

He had checked on Little Ji to make sure he was sleeping. Thankfully, the chicken soup he’d made for him seemed to have worked, as the kid was deep in his dreams and had a blissful smile on his face. These were olden times, after all, and even a matter as simple as stomach pain couldn’t be taken lightly.

He’d sent the other kids away some hours prior. Rather than locking them up inside the house, he thought it was good practice to let them savor the bustle of the crowds, as a month in the ruins had made them strangers to this world.

These are good times.

He was smiling ear to ear when the door clicked open, revealing his brother-in-arms, face pale and fingers of his right hand trembling around the bag. He looked as if he had spent a long breakfast with ghosts and ghouls as his company, but Lei had a few guesses.

“I’m guessing…” Lei said, propping his chin with one hand. “Something about you being a useless piece of garbage, perhaps? Or did he try to jab you using those girls again? I’ve told you you’re spending too much—“

“Butcher.” Fatty Lou closed the door and wobbled a couple of steps before crashing down on the couch, staring up at the ceiling as a deep sigh escaped his lips. “I’m not a butcher anymore.”

“Oh?” Lei cocked an eyebrow as he silently reached for the bag his brother-in-arms clenched tightly, pulling it to safety while hoping the buns were still good and fresh. When he saw the puffy clouds smiling up at him from inside the bag, he took a breath of relief and asked Fatty Lou, “What happened?”

“Seems that old goat Liwei had some words to say behind my back, and it just so happened that my old man decided to eat some chicken after all these years.” Fatty Lou leaned closer to the table and glanced at his hands. “He fired me.”

“Isn’t that a good thing?” Lei asked. It wasn't like Fatty Lou really worked at that place. “That means from now on we can focus on our stuff.”

Fatty Lou stared blankly at him. “Come on, Brother Lei, you’re not that stupid. The only reason why that old bastard left me alone was because I was a butcher. But now—“

Of course.

“He wants you in the bakery.” It dawned on Lei the reason for it a second after. “But didn’t he say you’ve not the respect for the craft, and not qualified for the job? Sure, he can teach you, but I can’t imagine the both of you in the same room, let alone in the same job. It’s going to get bloody.”

“You see how I handled those thugs.” Fatty Lou clenched his fists. “But for the life of me, I can’t seem to summon any strength against that old fool. He does this thing with his eyes that leaves me breathless as if I’ve suddenly become that five-year-old child who got his ass beaten with a roller.”

I’m afraid that’s how all Fathers are around this part of the world.

“At least he made the buns, that’s a good thing, right?” Lei tried to manage a smile on his face, but Fatty Lou didn’t look amused as he gave him a side-eyed glance. “I know, sorry, but let us keep our spirits up for today’s feast, shall we? I’ve been working for the whole night to cook you the new recipe.”

“I don’t think I can eat.” Fatty Lou slumped back on the couch, waving a dismissive hand at him.

Oh, it’s serious if he’s not in the mood for food. He’s always in the mood, always.

“You can always come and stay with me,” Lei said as he clapped Fatty Lou on the back. “You don’t have to do what your old man says. You’re a grown man, aren’t you? And this couch's as good as any bed if you ask me.”

Fatty Lou shook his head, eyes still down at his hands. “You don’t understand. I hate the fool. Hate his guts. He’s never said a good word to my face, but his presence is like a ghost looming over me, looking down at me like I’m a worthless piece of shit. I want to show him that I… I can do things, you know? Maybe I’m not a good butcher and don’t know anything about baking, but I’ve got my own talents, too.”

“I know.” Lei nodded. Seemed to him that even in a different world, some things stayed the same. He had a few words about the matter and wondered if telling him that he didn’t have to get his Father’s approval to be his own man would do any good, but then, family matters were never that simple.

Lei shook his head to gather his mind. The best course of action in this situation was probably for him to stay beside his brother-in-arms, and be there for him. Simple as that. But waiting there and doing nothing was a no-go in his book. There had to be something to take him out of his gloom. This was a spiritual world, right? There had to be—

Wait a second.

“Brother Lou,” Lei said as he placed a hand on Fatty Lou’s right shoulder, squeezing it hard. “What if we get our cultivator license? I’m thinking your old man’s not going to push you to become a baker if you show how serious you are about the Immortal Path.”

Fatty Lou turned at him with doubt in his eyes. “Not impossible, but he knows I’m a talentless fool. Even if I become a Body Tempering Stage cultivator, he’s going to want to see some proof, some work to leave me alone.”

“Some work, you’ve said?” Lei muttered.

There were many things a cultivator could do in the city. Becoming a guard was one of them. Or they could always use the strength of the Body Tempering Stage to, well, carry heavy things, but that didn’t seem any better than being a baker.

This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road. If you spot it on Amazon, please report it.

“We can get a badge from Adventurers’ Guild,” he said, making Fatty Lou snap his head at him. Lei nodded with strength. “We don’t have to hunt spiritual beasts. We can do the basic missions. I know you have the strength to strangle a couple of foxes. And I’ve just heard there have been some serious cases of chickens going out of business as of late. We can lend a hand to those farmers, and get paid for it.”

“Are you serious?” Fatty Lou said, grasping Lei’s arm. “Will you do that with me?”

Lei smiled round at his face. “Do you need to ask? Come on, we have a spiritual trial ahead of us. I’m sure it’ll clear your mind.”

……….

Fatty Lou was keeping an eye on him as Lei placed the tray on the table, looking greatly excited as he drummed a finger on the wood. Lei couldn’t blame him, though, as the buns and the gnarled fries were nothing short of a work of art.

“What was the name again? Hamburg, was it?” Fatty Lou asked as he rubbed his hands together, leaning closer to the table.

“Just call it a burger,” Lei said.

“And those things… were fries?”

“Fries, chips, you name it.”

“I think I’ll go with chips. It has a good ring to it. They look disturbingly sharp, though. You sure they’re edible?”

“They are most certainly spiritual, I can tell you that much.”

“I’m not… Well, fine. I’ll trust you.”

Lei nodded as Fatty Lou stared deeply at the table, one hand under his chin as he regarded the oddly colorful yet strangely captivating dishes that Lei had prepared with all his love.

There was some doubt in the mix, of course, but he trusted the process. He’d strangled the Needlestalks in flour, then bathed them inside some egg yolk before giving them a wash of grated Gnarled Souls. He then fried them until they were golden brown and a lot thicker than they’d used to be.

The burger’s patty had been a challenge, as he had to wrestle with the beans before finally deciding to soak them for two hours in the chicken stock to soften them enough to be mashed into a patty. He then grilled the bean patties over some lard.

It’s one of those things you think is vegan, and looks vegan, but in fact, the cook in the kitchen had to make do with what he’s got.

But it had a beautiful crust coating over it, and a garlic mayo over on top mixed with some veggies. A part of him had waited for the system to acknowledge the fact that he was making good progress in this world. Creating a whole cuisine for the mortals, and for Jianghzen, no doubt. With a little push and incentives from, say, the Governor’s Office, there was no reason why they couldn’t turn this menu into a local specialty.

They had the bun for it. Unlike his manners, Master Li had produced one of the puffiest, and freshest buns Lei had ever seen before. It could be that the flour and all the other ingredients in this world were way too organic, but the man still had baked the perfect buns with little effort.

Just open a Burger Place. Low effort, low risk.

Lei smiled at the thought. Could’ve been a viable option if not for the fact that people eating his food could kill him in the long run if he didn’t do something about his cultivation.

“I think I’m ready,” Fatty Lou said.

“At the same time.” Lei nodded as he stared at the fries.

[Spirited Gnarled Fries: Mortal-grade, Medium Quality]

I think the system is not much of a stranger to Earth. How does it decide what to call these dishes, anyway?

For the sake of the experiment, he didn’t take even a single bite from the food after he was done preparing it, which had been a challenge as he was still completely in the dark whether these things were edible. If not, he’d have to start from the top, this time with a little more enthusiasm.

Taking a breath in, he took one of the fries. The needle-like chip crunched between his teeth, dissolving into different flavors that assaulted his taste buds. The earthy tone of Gnarled Souls was more prominent, but then the Needlestalk’s own juice started twisting the scene, that underlying garlic taste slowly coming on top.

Juicy, and crunchy!

Lei was savoring the food when suddenly Fatty Lou started stuffing one fry after another into his mouth, juice dripping down the side of his lips. He let out soft moans, slapping his right knee with passion while shaking his head as if he couldn’t believe the taste of these new marvels.

We were supposed to take it slow, damn it!

The menthol taste showed itself not long after, squirming inside his stomach. He’d made sure to [Essence Enhancement] skill on each spiritual ingredient, thinking they would do a little taste test before wolfing down the food, but his brother-in-arms had completely scratched that plan.

But I’m glad I didn’t add too much salt. That kick from the garlic taste is enough on its own. Feels like these Gnarled Souls have grown while absorbing all the richness of the soil and the air around them. Oddly fresh on my tongue, and warm in the stomach.

“It’s coming. I can feel it” Fatty Lou said, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand once he was done with the fries and reached for the burger. “But I need more.”

“Hey, be careful with that!“

Lei tried to warn him, but Fatty Lou was having none of it. His eyes were fixed on the burger, a greedy glint flashing behind them. Then he lunged forward, grabbed it with both hands and stared down at it before tearing his first bite from the puffy bun.

Lei was left completely speechless as he watched his brother-in-arms gobble down the burger in three big bites. Gulping nervously, he checked his own burger. This thing could be… dangerous.

[Spirited Bean Burger: Mortal-grade, High Quality]

He didn’t know why the burger got a quality boost. All the ingredients he’d used during the cooking process were Mortal-grade, Low-Quality spiritual herbs, but while the [Essence Enhancement] skill had worked the fries up to Medium Quality, it’d done some serious work on the burger.

I don’t want to be that guy.

He wasn’t about to sit there and watch while Fatty Lou experienced the greatest high of his life. If they were going to get high on spiritual food, then they’d do it together.

Fingers trembling, Lei slowly took his first bite. The soft bean almost melted into a glorious stream of juice in his mouth, trickling down through his throat like butter. It was almost too much for his palate.

The lemon zest, the pepper, the salt, and the bun… The bun! Slightly sweet and toasted, baked by the deftest of hands. It complemented the spicy note of the patty perfectly, like two lovers meant to be together.

But then, those lovers betrayed their matchmaker as something started jabbing at Lei from inside -- the food, the menthol taste, or whatever the hell it was. His body was heating, cheeks flushed as if burning, the nape of his neck throbbing alive. Felt like thousands of ants started crawling all over him, sinking their little teeth into his flesh.

Here we go again…

The world spun around him, but Lei couldn’t pull his fingers away from the burger as he took another bite. He just couldn’t stop.

“I’m coming… Coming!” Fatty Lou was screaming as Lei started wobbling left and right. The ground was there, but then it got closer and drifted away, his feet changed places with his arms, and for a second he didn’t know what to do with them.

He blinked round at the walls as they started closing in on him. He tried to breathe, but the heat was getting worse.

Then he saw it — a castle. It sprawled over the walls, sunlight twisting round the parapets, flashing brightly in Lei’s eyes. There was a castle on the wall, and Lei couldn't keep his eyes away from the lone silhouette standing atop there, the side of her face blurry and distant.

She then reached out with one hand, as if calling at him, smiling from between the lines on the wood, blond hair curled in beautiful waves. Lei dragged himself afoot, lurched out a step, and near fell, breath rasping in his chest. He stumbled another step, unable to resist the temptation, and finally reached the wall, stretching his arms out to embrace the beauty.

His hands wrapped around something wobbly. He stared down.

“You’re not blond,” he said, scowling.

“And you’re not naked,” Fatty Lou burped out.

This can’t be a dream, Lei thought, shaking his head, but he sure wished it were.

……