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Dank souls
What the heck am I doing edition

What the heck am I doing edition

Saiix hit the dying grass with a thud.

He pulled himself off the ground, eyes adjusting. Weakened from the fall. 

Slowly, shapes came into view. Cracked buildings, lined with vines as an eye with veins. A stone circle set out to contain the deep red blaze of a flame within. And taking up the entirety of his sight, a black mass of fur.

"Hello!" it mewed, surprising Saiix with the sudden sound. The swordsman pulled his head back in reaction, seeing a small cat looking up at him with large, green eyes.

"I'm Alley, the magical cat!" she mewed again, running her tail over Saiix's face. She jumped away, towards the flame.

Saiix quickly followed her. "What brought me here, magical cat?" He asked paitently.

"The rifts are out of control! you are the only one who can return order to them, and return the worlds to their normal state"

"I will do it." Saiix quickly stood, armed with only determination in his clenched fists. "I will bring order."

He strode towards the fire, and without fear, reached for the coiled blade in its center. The iron came free, blade charred black as the rift that stares into you. As soon as he did, the flame lept up, arm shooting back. 

"Well" someone remarked from the side, saddened tone in his voice "nobody's done that before"

Saiix turned his head, seeing an armored man sitting by the now-bladeless fire, helmed head down. A blue tabbard lined his upper half, certerpeiced with an orange-red triangle pointing to the earth. A hand-and-a-half sword lay behind him, edges lined in rust.

"Who are you?" Saiix asked forcefully

"I am, nay, was, the Dank Paladin. Fighting's useless now, and I bear not the desire to raise my sword..." The Dank Paladin looked to the grund

Saiix quickly grabbed his claymore, pointing its rusted edges to the sky "Then I'll raise it for you!"

The dank paladin looked up, and made a small laugh; the first one in years. "May the power of cool ranch be with you!"

Saiix rushed away from firelink shrine, claymore held high to the fading sun's light. Three hollows fell easily to practised sword slashes, fourth to a firebomb; caught and fastballed back. It lodged itself in the hollow's chest, right before exploding in a mass of wracked armor and ruined flesh. Saiix felt a familiar rythym to his motions, of dodging the slow undead and returning a fast counterattack. 

As Saiix drew near a large open area, a great blue wyvern flew overhead to locations unknown. Two hollows jumped at once, falling just short of the swordsman, when he heard a crossbow bolt click. Saiix jumped aside, rolling to conserve speed as the bolt ripped through one of the two undead. On a balcony above, a better-armored undead reloaded its crossbow, aiming down its sights. He brought his sword on the other one overhead, force sending half the blade flying.

Saiix looked down at the broken blade in 

Saiix darted into the stone tower it was part standing on, taking note of a small side door halfway up as he ran up the spiral stairway. He stopped right behind the crossbow-bearing undead, still looking for the swordsman in question, sharply grabbing it from behind. Saiix slammed it forward, adjusting his weight and letting the undead tip off and splatter on the ground. 

The threat gone, saiix lowered his sword and his position, to the side door. Through it was a stone room, door on the opposite side. In the very center, sat someone in a dark blue cloth hood. large whiteboard in front of her, albeit obstructed, her legs together on one side. She faced away, but answered with ease.

"Good evening, saiix" 

"how do you know my-?"

She turned around, large eye opening under pale blue hair. 

Sapphire floated to the other side of her whiteboard, erasing its contents with her majestic sleeve. Silently, she drew a curved blade, somehow sharpening the slashing edge. Gem glowing, sapphire reached into the whiteboard, and handed the katana to Saiix.

"Find ruby for me."

Saiix ran off, slashing through hollows left and right with his new azure blade. His path arced upwards, on a slow incline of stairs towards a tower of a church, torches burning on either side. A single hollowed knight stood guard, rapier and shield in either hand. Saiix backstepped its flurry of thrusts, bearaing down on the knight before it could raise its shield to defend.

A second after, two more came charging from the sides, rapiers like small lances. Saiix quickly stepped back, two of them grouped, and made a move like sheathing his blade.

Fire grew within the swordsman, making a single, wide slash that hit with the force of a small building. the shields were no match for this strike, buckling and flying back. The other picked itself up, just in time to see a great upward slash burn its armored form, and a sideways slash sending its head flying and striking the wall with a splatter.

Saiix bowed to them, flame subsiding. "You fought well, my enemies."

And then heard a great metal stomping noise. "Who dares enter my church of honour?"

"Cobalt." Saiix identified. "It is I, the riftwalker of light and darkness!"

"Then draw your blade, riftwalker." Cobalt fell from a balcony, righting himself in the air with gravity magic. "And fall to mine"

Cobalt rushed forward, mace in an obvious strike. Saiix darted to the side, about to slash, when a tower shield interrupted the swordsman, knocking him back. Cobalt made a quick laugh at his successful attack, raising his mace and bringing it sharply aside. It struck Saiix, yeilding a painful cracking noise.

Saiix rushed forward, and with his injured arm grabbed the tower shield. Cobalt stared in awe as Saiix vaulted over, good arm stabbing at cobalt's helm. The thin edge peirced the thick metal, sending a wave of frost across the maceman's armor. 

"Rule in hell." Saiix spat. 

From below, he could hear a repeated banging noise, of metal on metal. 

"A sword duel?" he thought, descending nearby stairs to investigate

Saiix emerged in a large room, seeing someone hammering away at a blade. The anvil dwarfed the blacksmith in size, and while merely bearing dual axes looked much larger in its small, green hands.

"Enter my forge, do you? hmMMM?"

Initially taken aback, Saiix quickle regained composure. The jedi master continued to speak.

"Dangerous, a Rathalos has become. Slay it, you must; for improve my forge, its heart will."

Yoda pointed with his cane to an upwards ladder. "On the roof, it resides." 

Knowing this was nessessary to restore balance, Saiix climbed up. He saw a great bridge stretch out before him, edges worn smooth by chariot wheels. Great wingbeats resounded overhead, Bringing into view a spiky wyvern, azure in hue. It glared right at Saiix from midair, fire brewing in its mouth.

Saiix rolled behind a stone wall, feeling the heat from the rushing fireball. It exploded on the ground, sending bits of sharp, half-molten stone forward. 

And could hear many chaotic footsteps. From the other side of the bridge, a small squadreon of undead soldiers charged, black knight at their head. The black knight pointed its halbred, acting like a weapon and a beacon, soldiers charging...

Only to be cooked where they stood by wide-angle fire breath. The black knight, out of options, charged right for the Rathalos. Another impactful fireball hit its shield, force absorbed without a second thought. 

From behind its shield, the black knight stabbed with its halberd. The blade bounced off the Rathalos's tough head plate, black knight staggering from the impact as its weapon sailed backwards. The Rathalos bit forward, snapping the knight's helmeted head clean off and spitting out the metal. The rest of the armor fell over, no longer guided, leaving saiix alone to fight. 

He stood at his full height, clutching his blade. Summoning up the fire in his heart much as the Rathalos summoned up the fire in his mouth. Seeing this many times before, saiix cleanly sidestepped the fireball.

The fireball exploded against the wall behind, Rathalos flapping its wings as it began to charge another one. Saiix ran sharply to its side, slashing at its flank. It staggered, fireball blowing up in its face, before rapidly spinning with its poison-barbed tail. Saiix pressed closer, feeling the woosh of the striking end. About to slash upwards after another spinn, the azure wing struck his head as the Rathalos took off. It hovered in the air, wings flapping once a second just to stay aloft. it shot a quick fireball, easily dodged, and looped back around into dive-bomb. flame burned in its mouth, spitting some to either side, head at chest level. Saiix dropped to the ground, right between the trailing flames, and slashed up towards the tail. The Rathalos roared in pain, great spiky weapon flying up and aside. 

Saiix stood back up as the Rathalos rebalanced, wings supporting its new stance. Drawing them back, the Rathalos spat rapid embers of dragonbreath, striking like sparks from a meaningful clash of blades. Saiix began to spin his katana, at such speed that snow began to form behind it, falling where it stood. Blade still rotating, Saiix waded into the flames, pushing them away with great sideways force. The Rathalos's eyes widened as its brain registered what was about to happen. The same blade of a katana stuck into its mouth, upward curve peirving the brain. Saiix roughly swept the blade aside, and with one clean cut the Rathalos fell down. Collecting what he could from the knight and dragon. Saiix returned to the blacksmith.

"A good job, you have done. Forge, I can. And forge, I will! hMM!"

Saiix handed over the cleanly cut and badly broken parts, eyeing the red gem. "Just let me keep this one."

While Yoda forged, Saiix returned to the other gem, drawing a wintery scene of herself; full of blue and cyan

"I brought her back."

Saiix held out the red gem, Sapphire's eye lighting up. She took it, held it high, and the two began to glow. 

Sapphire's form shifted, power of the ruby increasing her height, width, and strength. 

"Ahahaha! Thank you!" 

Garnet happily stretched, her limbs returned. She conjured her sunglasses, and for just a second ruby and sapphire could be observed in their reflection, kissing passionatly. The reflection faded, as Garnet's expression returned to stoicism. 

"I'll be at firelink." She walked out, through the cleared path.

Saiix returned to Yoda, somehow just finishing a set of dual axes. One made from the black metal of the knight, halberd's blade reinforced by chestplate. The other, less refined but more impressive, forged from the blue spiky rathalos tail, poison preserved in its spikes. 

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"Forged well, I have!" Yoda held them in the air, strength from forging somehow stopping him from falling forward. Saiix gently picked them up, adjusting his grip to backhand each. The second he did, the blades switched form, becoming much closer to dual swords, axe blade moving to their hilt. Behind the striking edge of the head, he could see a glass phial on each, filled with grey or red liquid.

"Dual switch axes..." he whispered in awe.

"Use them, you can. And use them, you should!" Yoda urged, though saiix needed no motivation. He switched them back into axe form, climbing the ladder with restored inspiration.

With that, he crossed the bridge. The rathalos dead, nothing stood in his way.

And as Saiix stepped off, the world seemed to change. He walked on grass again as opposed to mere worked stone, sky somehow darkening as he descended the shallow slope. A lake opened up to one side, great moving shape in it. Saiix paid it no mind, despite the many sparkles coming from within, and instead walked further down the hill. He could just barely see the bottom of it, mass of dead trees lining sickly green-brown terrain. In the center of it all, he could see a set of massive spider legs stick up from the ground, acting like an impossibly thin cage. 

Saiix descended, path blocked by an overgrown infected barbarian. It roared loudly, Saiix running through the roar to strike. He slashed once, twice, and rolled aside as it swung its great club, staggering awkwadly. Saiix crept behind it, stabbing a weak point on its back. The infected barbarian made a much smaller, more painful roar, corpse sliding down the hill and sinking into the swamp below. 

One of the spider legs twitched. 

Saiix, wary of the legs, made a wide circle around the swamp. Holding his breath as every step sent awful-smelling gas upwards. 

Rounding a quarter of the swamp, He could feel the poison build in his systems, though cared not for that. Nothing would stand in his way.

On the opposite side of the great hill, saiix noticed a stone floor in a natural cave. He ducked inside, stopping to catch his breath, when another fire, much like the first he saw, made itself known with a light "fwoosh." Advancing inwards he saw its light, along with the shadow of a small dragon lying lazily beside it.

The small dragon raised its head at the end of its long neck. It made a small, curious roar, flame on the end of its tail igniting. Feeling a sense from the swordsman, Charizard put its head forward, bumping his shoulder. 

Saiix rested, leaning against the soft underbelly scales of the charizard. His wounds closed, energy returning. 

Thanking the sleeping charizard, Saiix got back up, dual switch axes in hand. Advancing towards the spider legs with renewed bravery. 

He stepped onto the mound between them, above the poison gas. The top half of a black-hooded human rose over the other side. 

"Medusa..." Saiix growled. She stepped over the mound entirely, opening up her sleeves. Dual snakes sprang from each, dark blue and light yellow. As one, they roared, scales amplifying the noise.

"It seems tou've interfered with my plans too long. Die to the hands of your own allies."

Medusa motioned with both arms. "Solaris and Coronis. Kill him."

The two snakes lept forward, one on either side. Saiix crossed his arms, flats of his dual switch axes blocking them both. An explosion of the phials of force and flame sent the two snakes back, Solaris head-down adn stunned. Coronis lept at saiix before he could raise his axes, coiling around saiix's neck. He blindly pressed a button on the hilt of the black knight axe, switcing to sword form, and rapidly unloading a phial of pure impact into the snake's face. It too uncoiled, leaving his left sword out of ammo but both swords free to take on the main problem. 

Medusa lashed out with a dark whip, cut in half by the flame-spitting rathalos axe. He stabbed forward with the black knight axe, blocked at the last second by a summoned sword

"Great Vector Blade" Medusa taunted, snakes beginning to recover. Saiix slashed downwards with both axes, slamming near the grip with his head. Medusa warily stepped back, snakes watching. Impressed. In conflict over who to follow.

Medusa regained her balance, stabbing with the greatsword. Saiix danced aside, dropping his black knight axe to grab at her sword arm. pinned, he switched and thrust the rathalos axe in one motion, burning blade stabbing at her chest. 

Medusa screamed in pain, falling backwards out of saiix's grip. Solaris and Coronis, changed in heart, pounced on her, further holding the witch down. 

"stop! you win! i'll tell you where my master is!" 

Saiix bent down, motioning for his two snakes to come back. they slithered to his arms, forming into mere markings of similar colour.

Understanding, Saiix turned around, sparing the broken witch's life. He knew what he had to do, and who he had to defeat to make it happen. As he did, one of the spider legs pointed towards a corner of the swamp he hadn't tried. 

"You can- get home faster like that" Medusa coughed, lying on the soft, disgusting ground to rest. He lept over her, feeling the dirt walls close in to the thin path. Slowly it ramped upwards, towards a large, open shaft, full of ladders. 

As he was about to climb the first one, he heard a small roar behind him, air growing. Saiix turned around, the same charizard from before entering the shaft. Head down, stance wide, ready to fly on its mighty draconic wings.

Saiix climbed on, holding tightly onto the Charizard's upper arms. The dragon took off, tail pointed directly down and bursting with propellant. The two burst through the ground, flying over the graveyard near firelink. Garnet waved at them, but Charizard only climbed higher into the dark sky. He alighted on a white floating rock, overlooking a castle of stone, wood, and iron.

Saiix and Charizard flew past an astral turtle, in all its prism-shelled glory. Past mines for floating metal, manned by purple goblin-like beings. They looked up, running inside to man ballistas

"They can't get us" Saiix though, as charizard dove towards a small wooden building. Just as the void goblins drew out a ballista, charizard rained fire down upon them, setting the war shed ablaze. Keeping its dive, Charizard picked up a void goblin in its mouth, shaking rapidly as it flew up, and swallowing the soft creature whole. 

Saiix pointed, knowing his enemy. "It's him. Drop me off down there." 

Charizard rolled over in the air, letting Saiix fall gently down to the figure in the dark purple hooded cape. black-white greatsword in hand.

"Return them to me" Saiix ordered. The figure did not even move, but cold winds blowed in anticipation

Saiix rased his voice in a cold stone order. "Exanth."

The winds changed direction, peircing cold aimed right at Saiix.

Exanth swept around quickly, cape flying off. He stepped forward, raising his sword high as he broke into a run. Saiix jumped back from a downward slash, lines of fire trailing from his hands as if they were halves of a rathalos mouth. 

Exanth pulled the greatsword up to eye level, stabbing for Saiix's head. He feinted to the side, turning reflexivly and seeing the horribly conflicted shape his allies were in. The middle of the blade was no clean cut nor fade, but a terrible, chaotic swirling pattern.

"You did this to them!" Saiix roared.

Exanth merely nodded, and Saiix could see energy build inside him. Exanth slashed upwards, gravity magic sending the two of them into the air. The knight of void spun, cycle of a blade drawing saiix closer and downward, before stabbing sharply down. the two of them crashed through the roof of the floating castle, scattering debris over the floor of confused elites. Saiix righted his position in the air, feet landing

"Get out of here. this is my fight" Exanth ordered to the purple beings, scattering. 

Saiix slashed upwards at Exanth, blocking with the flat of the blade. The other handaxe slashed sharply around, causing his enemy to spin the blade vertically and propel himself back. Saiix lept forward, switching his axes into backhanded swords, and rapidly slashed. 

"Boom, fwoosh, boom" could be heard, attacks connecting. The phials exploded with force and flame on Exanth's metal chestplate, leaving it a dented orange. Exanth battered forward with the flat of his blade, catching saiix off guard and leaving him open for a giant circular slash. Saiix staggered back, first real wound of his adventure endured. Saiix lept out of the way a stab, blood spraying from the quick movement. Exanth slid forward from the stab in question, reposition giving saiix enough to bend down.

To touch the spilled blood.

His hands burst into flame, powered by his own pain. Exanth reflexivly raised his sword in a high guard, seeing the fire under the swordsman's control. The fire shifted from fists to axe blades, dancing around as if a live, taunting creature. Saiix started his swords low behind him, Exanth floating out of the way out of the first two axe strikes-

out of a rapid many. Two more struck his damaged chestplate, one right after the other, followed by a combined explosion of phial energy. Exanth floated backwards, descending in stance and height until he knelt on the opposite wall. 

And that second, the insanity twin dropped from his hand, splitting back apart into the two livingi blades, Maxima and Minima. Minima stretched, slowly walking closer, while Maxima ran right at saiix. Without a word, Maxima transformed into her pure white katana. In one motion Saiix dropped his axe, picked up her hilt, and stabbed upwards; blade peircing Exanth's lower gut. 

With his other hand, he grabbed towards Minima's arm from her stretching potsition. He stabbed high, towards the knight's shoulder.

Exanth's head was down, but Saiix could see the look of resignation on his face. 

Saiix drew the dual blades backwards, fusing them together as he shifted his grip. And without stopping, slashed the blade, downwards and sideways. Ripping through Exanth's armor and only stopping when the blade had cutting through the heart.

A great flame erupted from the end of the blade, The knight of cold and dark utterly destroyed by the swordsman of heat and light.

Saiix walked to the edge of the floating rock in victory, jumping down. The air itself slowed his fall, letting Saiix land gently over firelink. 

"You saved us!" the dank paladin cheered. Garnet looked acceptingly at the swordsman, while Alley the magical cat walked up to him.

"The world is in balance! you're fre to leave. good luck on your adventures!"

Saiix patted Alley's head, hearing her purr already. "Goodbye, little cat."

He stepped through a rift, power over them regained. Leaving for another world entirely with his dual switch axes at his sides. 

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