I woke up staring at the stars and the waxing moon. Somewhere nearby, I heard a fire crackle. My limbs were heavy, and I was very thirsty. I slowly sat up, letting that blanket that had been thrown over me fall off.

Christen and Rico were sitting around the roaring fire. They were deep in whispered conversation until Christen glanced over and saw that I was up.

“By the gods, Stiri!” she cried. She ran over to me and knelt down, pushing me back down, feeling my head. “Don't just sit up like that.”

“...How should I... Sit up.” my voice cracked. I groaned, “Water.”

Christen turned to Rico, who threw a water skin at her. I sat up again, though Christen tried to push me back down, and took the water skin from her.

“Are you really here?” I asked. I still wasn't sure if she and Rico were here, or if I had gone insane, and that my wish to see them, my wish that they were still with me had driven me to this illusion. If they were really here, they wouldn't be helping me, they would be killing me, taking my pendant.

Christen smiled, “Rico and I are both still here.” She said. “You're lucky. We decided to go into the forest, to see if we could find Mic and Joss. They told us that they had heard that you went deep in the forest where some necromancer was supposed to be.”

I shivered. “He wasn't a necromancer,” I said. “He was a-”

“A Magus.” She said. “ He's gone now. Rico destroyed his body. He left himself weak.”

“I don't know why we saved you.” Rico spat, “You're just going to leave us to help Kos pull the world apart.”

“...Leave you? Me leave you? The two of you left me!”

“We left, Stiri, but... You told me to go, and did you think Rico would stay after...”

I leaned forward and rested my head in my hands. “You would have gone anyway,” I said, “You would have gone after you found you I was working for Kos.”

“You should have told us that.” Christen whispered.

“Kos is not to be trusted.” Rico said, “He fools the entire kingdom by dangling that puppet of a king in front of them, he wouldn't worry about fooling you, even if you are his son.” Rico shook his head. “I'm a little surprised at you. I didn't think you could be swayed so easily.”

“What do you mean?”

“Just because he's your-”

“My relationship to Kos has nothing to do with this.” I lied. “It does, but I'm not working for him only because he happens to be my father. He offered me-”

“What did he offer you? More gold than Justin would have offered you?”

I shook my head. “It doesn't matter. I don't want what he offered anymore.”

“What did he-”

“It doesn't matter!” I yelled. I had been a fool to believe he could just make everything better. I was a fool to think he could give me a new life. I was a fool to think that he could give me some joy. Nothing could undo my entire life. Nothing that would keep me alive, nothing that would keep me as myself. But Kos didn't care about that. So long as he had another puppet, he would be happy to create a pantomime of his perfect little life.

“Why were you there, anyway?” I demanded, “I thought you were running off to... I don't know, get married in the city or something.”

Christen flushed bright red. “No, not at all!” she said. She looked over apologetically at Rico. “I mean, we didn't. We weren't..” She sighed. “No, we weren't planning to run off to the city to get married.”

Rico muttered something under his breath, and remained looking at the fire.

“We decided to go to the forest, as Rico had suggested, to look for Mic and Joss. After we found out where you had gone from some lady, we couldn't just let you die, we couldn't just let you get hurt-”

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“Why not.” I said. “I sent you away, I work for Kos. I'm an enemy.”

“No, you're not. You're our friend.” Christen looked over at Rico. “Isn't that right?”

Rico snorted, “Yeah yeah, he's our friend, though he's a stupid treacherous one.”

Christen sighed. “Well, yes. You're our friend, even though we both think you were an idiot. We couldn't let you just die.”

I shook my head. “It doesn't matter now.” I said. “The books gone, Kos' 'offer' is... useless to me.” I sighed. “I don't know what I'm going to do now.”

“Give the pendant to me.” Rico said. “Give it to me, and-”

“No.” I said. “Say I did, do you think Kos could, that Kos would leave you alone?” I shook my head. “

No, I felt the power of that Magus. I was very lucky. He thought he had broken me. He thought my body was a shell. It wasn't, and he wasn't able to take it over. Without my body, and without his own...”

“He died.”

“No. He's bodiless. He cant hurt us, not the way he is now. However, had I not been so fortunate, I would easily have... No, I wouldn't even have died. I don't know what would have become of me.” I clutched my skull. “I was powerless.”

“My flames stopped him though.” Rico said, “My flames can-”

“You don't understand his power. I hardly understand his power... But when he tried to take my mind, I learned a few things. No, He wasn't worried about the fire, he could have slain you in a moment, and doused the fire while he was doing so. He let you destroy his old body because he thought that he didn't need it anymore. He could have destroyed us all if he wanted. If he had gotten my body...If he had gotten my body, he would be the one controlling the whole land now. And Kos' power is similar to his. Not quite as powerful, but close. No, Kos is too careful. He won't make any mistakes.”

“Then why hasn't he won already? If he has the power you say he has, why doesn't-”

“He had the feather, which he took from the islands. He took the moonshard from my mother. The stone was being guarded by a Magus in the north, and the book he wanted was being guarded by the Magus.” I shook my head. “But the book's destroyed now.”

“No, it's not,” Christen said. She rubbed her arms sheepishly. “I kinda... took the book before we left the palace. I saw it while I was dragging you out, and I though it was beautiful. It's hidden in my blankets now.”

“It doesn't matter.”

“You don't want to give it to Kos?” Rico snapped.

“No.” If I gave it to Kos, even if I refused his offer, he would still take me and make me his little puppet, his doll. “No, I would rather Kos didn't have it, actually.”

“...Stiri.” Christen whispered. “Please, Please tell us what Kos offered you. Was it more gold, or was it something else?”

I hesitated. I didn't want to tell them how stupid I had been. I didn't even want them to know. But even so...His offer lay on me like a weight, like a shining gem snatched from my hands. “He offered.” I said slowly, “He offered... To erase my memories of being an assassin.” I said. I rubbed my eyes with the palms of my hands. “ He offered to give me a new life, to revive anyone I wanted, to include in it anyone I wanted. To give me... A peaceful life.”

“Your memories?” Christen whispered. “You wanted him to erase your memories? All of them?”

I nodded. “What good are they to me?”

“What about the good ones?”

I looked up at Christen. Tears were welling up in her eyes again.

“By the gods, don't cry. I-”

“You don't have any good memories!?” She demanded. “None at all? Not even of us?”

Before I could answer, my mind searched back for pleasant, happy memories. Staying in the castle before Almond destroyed it, laughing at Rico for being attacked by raccoons. The quiet nights around a roaring fire, telling my best stories. I thought of other people. Of Cara. She was dead, I killed her. Almond, who was also dead because of me. Memories, thoughts I would have rather forgotten. But what about all the stories Cara used to tell me. What about waking up, thinking myself dead in the woods, and seeing myself safe near a fire, with food ready for me. What about Almond, teaching me how to use a weapon right, teaching me how to hunt. Foster, teaching me everything he knew, teaching me to read, telling me stories, reading me poems because he thought me to be poetic. Ridia, the long nights spent near her, in her arms.

“I have a few.” I said.

“Would you rather not have them at all, so you could forget the bad ones?”

I said nothing. There was silence until Rico spoke up over the crackling fire.

“I heard something wise once.” he said softly. “I heard that there is balance in everything, even in the joys and sufferings of people. However, because the sufferings seem to last so much longer, and stay in our minds more than the joys, it's easy to see that our lives are filled with darkness. However, if someone manages to see the joy through the suffering, then one can be happy.”

I snorted, “Well, it won't matter much if Kos kills us all to get the items.”

“Then lets go to the islands to the south, Stiri!” Christen pleaded. “The three of us can-”

“I won't be going anywhere.” Rico said. “My brother is still in Teans, and I don't care what you say, Stiri. I still have to make amends with him.”

“... Maybe I should flee though.” I muttered. “I'll die anyway, I might as well-”

“Not alone, you're not.” Christen said. “I'll go with you, and when it's safe...” She looked over at Rico, “When you feel like you can leave, will you come find us?”

“I would.” he said. “If, at any time I think that things between my brother and I have been settled, I'l gladly sail the seas to find you.”

Christen smiled. “Then we can travel from island to island, and hide amid Magi. I can dance, or tell stories, and you can pick pockets, or you can become the best assassin in the known world!”

I smirked, “Sounds good.” I said, “But... I think I want to retire.” I took up my dagger, and examined the initials on the side. “I mean, if I become a great assassin on the islands, as well as on the mainland, then Kos will be able to find me right away, won't he? Who else could be so famed?”