“A little birdy told me someone nearly broke their neck.” Claire greeted Dares by the back passage to the field. She stood under the shade of a tarp over the circle of fence which housed one of the generators, a pile of cigarette butts at her heels and a fresh one burning between her painted fingers.
“Rumors spread quickly around here, huh?” Dares frowned.
“It’s a school. Gossipers will gossip.” Claire smirked, and took a hard drag off her cigarette.
“And that’s why you’re out here, right? Can’t stand the superficial crowds?” Dares suggested.
“Well,” Claire started, pausing to exhale a plume of gray smoke that rose to the tarp and entrenched itself in the fabric, which had begun to yellow over the last three years, “that’s part of it.”
“I’ll bet. You know you’re not doing your lungs any favors, right?” Dares tried his best at a pleasant smile, but his headache was back.
“Oh, wow, I’ve never heard that one before.” Claire rolled her eyes and took another drag. “Counselors have said I should try to cut back. But with midterms just around the corner, and me barely hanging in at a D average, that doesn’t seem very likely. I’m not the greatest at coping with stress, you see.”
“So that’s why you’re cutting class to sneak smokes by the generator. Yeah, I’m sure that will bring your grades up.” Dares smirked.
Claire returned the smile. “Touche. It’s a vicious cycle.”
“Shunpei thinks you might be suicidal. Is there a hint of truth to that?”
Claire giggled. “Maybe not as suicidal as throwing yourself from the gym ceiling.”
“I get the feeling no one’s going to let me forget that anytime soon.” Dares scratched the back of his head, blushing in shame.
“Pretty much.”
They stood there in silence for a few minutes. Dares had nothing better to do but wait out his headache, and hoped he might bury it under conversation. He wasn’t ready to start the moderate walk home yet, and was just enjoying the feeling of being outside. He felt quite confined and claustrophobic inside that gym - no, inside that school, surrounded by people.
Dares felt faint again, so he sat himself on the sidewalk against the wall. He was receding into himself once more. The click of Claire’s lighter brought him back.
“Huh?” he started.
“Someone’s jumpy. You started dozing off.” said Claire.
“Oh, sorry. I think I’m going to go get some shut-eye.” said Dares wearily.
“Really? It’s barely past noon.” said Claire, surprised. “Not that it’s any of my business.”
No. No, I guess it’s not. What am I doing here? I can pass out when I get home. Dares rose to his sore feet.
“So why’d you fall?” Claire’s voice caught Dares off guard.
“I… I don’t know, actually… I don’t exactly remember. I just felt really tired, and then, next thing I knew, I was on the ground.” Dares admitted honestly.
“You might have anemia. You look kind of pale, and you’re underweight.” Claire suggested.
“What?” asked Dares.
Claire’s eyes fixed on Dares around her cigarette as she dragged deep. He patiently waited for her to exhale before she explained it to him. “Deficiency of hemoglobin. Sufferers are drowsy and can be prone to fainting spells.”
Dares’ eyes widened. Had his intuition been off today? He had made all kinds of assumptions about this girl he barely knew. “You know, you’re smarter than you let on.”
Claire smiled. “I’ll take that as a compliment. You’re deeper than you let on.”
“I am?” Can she see right through me? “How can you tell?”
“It’s your eyes. You’ve got really thoughtful eyes. I can read you like a book, sweetheart.” Claire winked.
Dares would have classified the gesture as sultry and alluring by the understood definition, but he felt nothing. In fact, he never had, not counting the occasions he accidentally brushed past a pair of lovers in the halls or sat a touch too close to one of the boys ogling their busty history teacher. He had never -
Except - “Claire, what’s that?” Dares asked, pointing at her chest.
Claire stared at him for a beat. “These are breasts, Dares.” For a moment, Dares thought he saw the hint of a faint blush.
Dares shook his head. “No, the mark!”
“Oh,” Claire realized he was pointing at the hint of dark ink on her sternum, hidden behind her pack of cigarettes. She took her pack in hand to offer Dares a clear view of her tattoo. “It’s a butterfly. Like it?”
And so it was. A purple butterfly etched into her skin, the tips of its wings gently stretching up the slope of her breasts.
Could she be -? Could she be what? Dares didn’t quite understand the implications of it all. “Claire, do you like coffee?” Dares blurted out, and immediately cringed. That didn’t come out right.
Claire crushed out her cigarette under her heel and put her hands on her hips, licking the corner of her mouth. “Is that an invitation?” she smirked, fluttering her shadowed lashes.
...FUCK!!!... Dares wanted to tear his hair out. Whatever, just roll with it. “Yeah, sure, there’s a great coffee shop on Main Street.” This is a huge mistake. “We could get to know each other better.” Poor choice of words.
“So,” Claire whispered breathily, swaying her hips subtly, “you want to get to know me better?”
I would do fucking anything to be literally anywhere else right now. Dares despaired. Useless, all useless.
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His head suddenly felt much too heavy for his shoulders - just like on the rope, he was about to faint again. That’ll work. Dares welcomed the darkness.
Claire saw he was about to go down in time though, and intervened before he cracked his head on the concrete. Though, in a moment, Dares would wish she hadn’t.
Oh no, don’t touch m- Claire caught him around the waist.
The effect was instant. A stale, minty taste appeared in Dares’ mouth, making him want to gag, and his mouth began to water uncontrollably. His blood pressure rose as his heart beat faster, and a dizzying rush flooded his brain. He felt his stomach drop, and his chest felt like it was on fire.
“Dares, are you okay?” Claire shook him. “Say something.”
Dares broke away from her contact as quickly as he physically could, and dropped to his knees, skinning them on the concrete and not caring. He doubled over, panting. Out of the corner of his eye, Dares saw Claire’s eyes widen like a deer caught in the headlights, and saw her approach automatically to offer a helping hand.
“Don’t touch me!” Dares screamed his throat raw, and Claire recoiled, stung and confused. His vision blurred. Here it comes. He helplessly emptied his stomach’s contents over the ground. He saw a few drops of vomit splash Claire’s heels and the tips of her stockings. He hadn’t eaten much, so when he threw up again, his throat and the corners of his mouth began to burn with his own stomach acid. He sat there, hunched pitifully on the ground, throwing up everything until there was nothing left, and then sat a few minutes more, dry-retching until he could hardly breathe.
Don’t look at me with those worried eyes. I don’t need anyone to pity me. Dares begged her silently. Please.
“...Well… my step-dad always said I was a knockout…” Claire said awkwardly, the reality of the situation not hitting her yet. But it did, soon enough. “That was a joke... Um, listen, I think you need to see the nurse.”
No. The last thing Dares needed right now was to be poked and prodded and told to say “ah”. Dares’ forehead wrinkled as his eyes scrunched up. It was incredibly difficult to think right now through the thunder splitting his head. “No… No, I’m fine…” he reassured Claire as he forced himself to stand up, every fibre of his being shrieking in protest.
“You don’t look fine. That came out of nowhere.” Claire cautioned.
“I just need some water. Some water, and that nap I mentioned.” Dares struggled to articulate himself through his nausea.
“Are you sure you're okay? I can give you a ride to the hospital.” she offered.
Dares forced the nausea under control and painted a sincere smile on his face. “Thank you, Claire, but no. I’ll be fine, I promise. I… ate something questionable earlier today, I probably just gave myself a little food poisoning. I guess it just hit me hard at the worst possible time.”
Claire examined his eyes closely. There was a slight twitch in her face for just a moment, and Dares knew she didn't believe him. But, it was gone in a moment. “Alright. Well, take care of yourself, kid.” she advised him gently.
“I will.” said Dares. He began to walk away toward the track field, where he remembered a water fountain was planted, when Claire called back to him.
“Dares?”
“Yeah?” he looked back.
“When you're feeling better, I’d like to have that cup of coffee with you. I’ll treat.”
Dares didn’t know what to say. “Oh.” he paused for thought. “Right.” And, almost compulsively, “Claire?”
“Yeah?”
“Try to keep it under three packs a day.” he loosed the implicating words, and then was gone, leaving Claire confused by herself, wondering when she divulged the specifics of her addiction.
…
Dares could hear the rumbling of footfalls down the dirt lanes as sprinters raced and leapt like gazelles over barriers. The smell of sweat again.
The sight of the water fountain was akin to an oasis amidst the harsh sands of the desert wastes. Dares practically dragged himself to it and began greedily gulping down the stream, so cool and fresh and soothing down his withered throat. He didn’t care at all that it was probably covered in countless strangers’ spit.
Dares felt as though he would never quench his thirst even if he stood there all day long, and drank until he felt bloated and sluggish. He gasped for breath when he finally broke away - he hardly noticed he had nearly suffocated himself, unable to pull enough air through his nostrils and swallow back-to-back efficiently.
He only looked up from catching his breath, feeling his stomach slosh as he did so, when he felt the shadow of someone's presence over him. His eyes met two hazel ones.
Jun was smiling a pleasant, disarming smile on the other side of the fountain, holding her hands behind her back. She was in a blank white t shirt and gym shorts - probably either with the track team or tennis club.
“Thirsty?” she asked, chipper. Then she threw her solo cup of ice water in his face.
Dares sputtered through the shock as his hair and clothes were drenched. “What the hell was that for?!” he barked, disbelievingly.
“For setting a bad example and leaving me to clean up the mess. After you walked out of detention, everyone else got brave and followed the precedent you marked, leaving me stranded. I got blamed for not stopping you because I was the only one left in the classroom. I had to stay an extra hour making excuses for you, while you got away scott-free! And the only reason you didn't get in bigger trouble was because Shunpei practically has the whole staff in his pocket and vouched for you! Does that sound fair to you?” Jun nipped at him.
Dares was in no mood for this. It was all he could do not to tremble, and his skin was crawling all over. There were dark bags under his bloodshot eyes, but he supposed Jun didn’t notice any of that. At least the exchange had only had physical repercussions - the overlap of another’s sensations on his own unaccustomed body could have given him a massive heart attack, and he realized he was now going through a horrific withdrawal that made him want to lash out at everything, but he had thankfully not been connected long enough to sustain any mental and emotional damage - that was true hell.
But now, he was getting a load all the same. Jun’s contempt was practically burning hot. “Fair? That has nothing to do with it. It’s not my problem.”
“Well, it’s your problem now.” said Jun.
“What are you-”
“Shush. Take this.” Jun held out a piece of paper. Reflexively, Dares took it.
“What’s this?”
“My address. I was supposed to help my mom with the gardening right after school the other day. Since you’re the reason I couldn’t be there, you can pay back that time.” said Jun.
Dares looked to Jun, and then to the paper - which he crumpled and threw away.
“I came prepared.” said Jun, and handed him another address note.
“No wonder you don’t have any friends.” said Dares dismissively.
The sound of Jun’s hand smacking against his cheek was abrupt and crisp. In that brief moment of contact, Dares saw Jun waking up early every morning to tend to her bedridden mother. The woman, maybe thirty four, was in some kind of back brace. She was pretty, and carried a certain elegance and reservation with her. Dares saw where Jun had gotten her eyes from. The woman, despite her youth, was afflicted by some kind of crippling injury. Often, Jun, perhaps from age four or five, had had to make her own breakfasts and walk herself to school. Dares saw himself through her eyes, applying pain medicine patches to her mother’s back. He felt Jun lying alone at night, wondering when her father was going to return to them. The man had left shortly after Jun learned to walk.
“You’re one to talk.” said Jun, looking stricken.
Dares didn’t fully register what she said, and was only distantly aware of the stinging sensation blooming in his cheek.
Offered no protest, she continued. “You carry this hurt look in your eyes wherever you go. It’s like you’re pleading for someone to reach out to you, but you swat their hands away whenever they do. Why are you setting yourself up like that? What’s so tragic about you that you can’t let anyone close?”
“...Some people are supposed to be alone. I don’t expect you to understand.” Dares said finally.
“How can I? You won’t explain anything. I can’t read minds.”
“I can’t read minds”… you say that like it’s a bad thing. Dares sighed. “Fine. You win.” Dares tossed the note away. He wouldn’t need it - after all, he had all of the information he required slapped into him.
“You promise?” Jun eyed him.
“Yeah. I’ll pay back my debt.” Dares conceded, before locking eyes with her emphatically. “And then you and I go our separate ways and never speak again, got it?”
“Fine by me.” Jun huffed.
The rest of the school day was already over for Dares. Heavy clouds blotted out the sun, leaving him cool in the passing shadow for a while, aware of only the sting in his cheek.