I suddenly remembered a time from my childhood….The times I used to spend my vacations with the one person I would willingly follow to the ends of the earth to. I wasn’t reminded of the very early times….rather, this was the first time after that day.
I still have a memento that reminds me of that day. The day that one of the rocks the other kids threw at us hit me in the head and cut my left eyebrow deep. I was bleeding, and the pain made me tear up. But I didn’t move an inch, if it meant easing him pain even by a little.
“Leave us alone, we did nothing to you” He said
“You think just because you did nothing to us yet, means that we can’t make you pay? This whole neighborhood knows who you are, Chifuyu.” And flew in another rock, but I held my ground
“Oi, this sympathizer is tough…Hey, didn’t your parents teach you not to hang out with criminals?”
He pulled on my arm, trying to get me to stand down “Akio, stop….I don’t want you to get hurt because of me” but I didn’t budge
“Yeah, ‘Akio’….Why don’t you let us real heroes take out the trash. How are you even this persistent, knowing what they had done”
“What if both of them are criminals? Makes sense that they are protecting each other right?” Another kid from the group said
“But we can’t be sure about that. Something bad happens to him, we get labeled criminals…But he is still here”
“Just to let you know, I ain’t branded. I’m just going to stay here until a policeman passes by….He might not say anything for you attacking my friend, but I don’t think he will be as forgiving if he saw what you had done to me”
“This is bad, Shu-chan. He is right you know, at this rate, we will be the ones called criminals”
“Tsk, lets get out of here” And they backed off and ran away, falling to my bluff
I let down my tired arms, and looked back
“They are gone, you are safe now-”
He suddenly hugged me, I even remembered his tears and wails at that time. He was traumatized to even form proper words, but I comforted him in my arms, until he calmed down.
“Tadashi, hey, hey…It’s fine…they are gone now”
After a moment, he looked at my face “You are bleeding” but I looked away, brushing him off.
“Eh, mom had whacked me and Yuito much harder than those guys ever will”
The best part of it all? How his weeps of anguish turned into laughter
This was the reality he lived in, a reality that was not common to me, but one I chose to share nonetheless. Because in a world where the innocent were punished for the doings of others, I wanted to be a spark of kindness and empathy, even when there wasn’t any to be had for the ones that were branded.
.
.
.
.
How long have I been sitting here? I don’t know. Was I hurt? I don’t know. Why are my arms still shaking? I don’t know. What am I becoming?
……I don’t know.
All of a sudden, the silence of the room was broken by three knocks on the door
“Tadano-san, it’s the Sheriff, I’m here to take you to your new safehouse”
But no one answered
“Tadano-san? Nakamura-san?...anyone there?”
The door creaked open and a beam of a flashlight started going around the massive bedroom
“Oh shit” I guess Yamori finally saw what had happened.
I was inside in the pitch black darkness but I didn’t even say a word. What am I even supposed to say at this point?
The flashlight circled it’s way around and finally made contact with me, and to what awaited Yamori was me covered in blood.
“Oh god…Nakamura-san!” he rushed to where I was….Shame he didn’t shoot me to end it.
He suddenly tripped over the body of my victim, he fell onto the ground and looked back at the body…face bashed in to the point he was unrecognizable.
“What the hell?” Yamori then looked at me for answers
“I just….I didn’t-” I still couldn’t find the words for this situation
Yamori started to crawl towards me and was kneeling in front of me
“Nakamura-san….take a deep breath, calm down…I’m here, I’m in front of you. One step at a time, what happened?”
It took a while, but I tell him everything as briefly as possible. While my thoughts might’ve been all over the place, I had enough sense left in me to not mention my usual ability.
“Fuck, son of a bitch almost used me”
“Nakamura-san….I’m sorry….I didn’t know. If I did-”
“What did you say you did, Nishigaki-san? Help ease people into their first kill? Guess I got the slaughter package”
“Nakamura-san, the sooner you accept that you can’t have clean hands if you are to survive this, the better you are going to fare….so don’t try to-”
“Try to blame myself?...I slaughtered a man who was begging for his life, Nishigaki-san. Worst part about it is that I don’t even remember half of it. Who else am I supposed to blame?” I looked up at his face
“I wasn’t myself all of a sudden” I look at my shivering bloodied hands “ I remember an unnatural calmness….like all my emotions just shut down on me. Next thing I know, I am hitting him in the head. And after that….nothing. Next time I came to my senses, he was like this”
My shivers weren’t stopping “ I promised myself to be better….to not take the life of someone who was struggling to survive as I was. Now look at me….What am I becoming, Nishigaki-san?”
Yamori moved over beside me “I wish I had the answers you are looking for. But even if you had spared him this time, it’s only a matter of time until you would have to kill to survive. You think any normal person down here enjoys taking the lives of others…. I can’t speak for everyone, but all I know, is that good people don’t enjoy it. You, Junichi, Mai-chan, Meguru-chan….even anyone you knew who is trapped in here…The only ones that take lives for thrills are monsters, and I don’t see any of you being able to do that.”
“No….No….,no,no,no,no…god no” came in a familiar voice, interrupting me and Yamori.
He walked where Yamori’s flashlight on the ground was pointing….at the body of his childhood friend.
“Aya….no,no,no” he wept softly cradling the deceased Aya-san in his arms.
“I promised….I promised him that I would keep you safe….I’m sorry, I’m sorry”
Yamori got up slowly and aimed his handgun at the head of the man on his knees
“You want to shoot me, go ahead…. RELEASE ME FROM THIS NIGHTMARE!”
“Tsuneo-san…” I said
“Are you happy now, Zero? This is what you fought for. Not only did you ruin my life before all this, now you took away the one reason I had to live for.”
“Nakamura-san….you know this guy?”
“He was who Tadano wanted protecting from” I said while slowly getting up, trying my best to hide my injuries
“Nakamura? That’s right…that was your name…..Akio Nakamura. Kind of funny isn’t it… A name that signifies heroism, but it's in the possession of one of the most despicable beings in this forsaken place.”
“For what it’s worth….I didn’t know… I didn’t know this would happen”
“You didn’t know?....Not knowing isn’t going to bring Aya and Yuri back. You want to know the truth?...Akio?. It’s the same as if you killed all of them yourself”
“THAT’S ENOUGH!” Yamori fires a warning shot into the air. He pulls out an interface for a moment and it disappears, and moments later, he grabs Tsuneo by the hand, restrains and cuffs him.
“Tsuneo Fujisaki, you are under arrest for aggravated assault and attempted murder”
Fujisaki? Wasn’t that….
“Attempted murder? You are taking me in while the real murderer is right there?” He struggled while he was escorted out of the room
Love this novel? Read it on Royal Road to ensure the author gets credit.
Yamori came back into the room and approached little Yuri’s body “Nakamura-san, I’ll handle things here…Get out of here and try to take it easy, we’ll talk tomorrow”
“Take it easy? What-”
“I know what you are going to say…but the more you stay here, the worse you are going to feel. Look there are a few things you can do in Upper Sec. There is a bathhouse not far from here, get yourself cleaned up and try to get some sleep. The L-Train is somewhere you’d want to avoid at night so get yourself to my office in the morning, and we’ll talk then.”
I slowly walk myself out of the room, overhearing Yamori when he turned on his recorder
“Sheriff Yamori Nishigaki, July 6th 2038, three bodies found at approximately 10:26pm-”
I leave the room and turn the corner, only into Tsuneo’s hateful expression
“The innocent suffers while the guilty walks away….that fucking cop is as crooked as the real ones”
I ignored him and kept on walking, not even making eye contact. But he wasn’t having any of it
“Look at me Akio…..LOOK AT ME. Look at the face of the man whose life you destroyed”
I kept up my pace and went down the stairs, one step at a time.
“YOU MIGHT HAVE EVERYONE FOOLED, ZERO…. BUT ONE DAY, EVERYONE WILL SEE WHO YOU TRULY ARE. ONE DAY, EVERYTHING YOU HAD DONE WILL CATCH UP TO YOU!” He shouted all the way from the top of the stairs.
The events that took place went through my head with every step I took forward. The pipe I used to beat Tadano-san to death with…the floor’s stained with the blood of my adversaries along with my own, the collapsed bag of sawdust outside, the traps I never used along with the broken window I was thrown out of…..All this effort, all that fear of losing my life…..for what exactly?
I didn’t know what I was going to do from now on. What if I lose it again? How many more are in line to die by my hand? I couldn’t be any more scared.
I slowly walked my way through the alley and into the street. I didn’t even care if I got attacked anymore. A few minutes later, a guy walking past runs into my shoulder, stopping me in my tracks from the pain.
“Oi, watch where you are going” he said, turning around and putting his hand on my shoulder. He came around to my side, clearly trying to strongarm me, but I kept my head down, and glanced at him. His expression suddenly turned from angry to docile
“Uh, sorry...it was my fault” he took his hand off my shoulder and walked away, glancing over his shoulder while wiping the blood on his hand on himself.
It was not only him. Everyone coming towards me steered clear. No matter how weak I looked or no matter how slow I walked, everyone was vary and afraid of me. If I am to ‘take it easy’ for the day, I guess I might take Yamori’s advice and head to the local bathhouse. I turn over my hand with the damaged gauntlet and bring up my mini-map, the bathhouse was visibly marked on it being in close proximity to the cemetery. Knowing that, I walk on the path of the vary crowds but subconsciously, I find myself retracing the same path I took earlier. When I looked up again, I found myself in an alleyway, confronted with consequences of another one of my bad decisions.
A woman weeping while holding a man in her arms…not a single splatter of blood was visible, but the amount of bruises and swells I could see from this distance, it was safe to assume that he was beaten to death. This was the man that Yuri asked me help…..the one I chose not to.
For a moment I envied him. Released from this nightmare with lesser pain and even had someone to cry over his demise…..Things that I will never have.
I pushed ahead through the alley and onto the street on the other side. Dragging myself little by little, I made it to the bathhouse. Looked….very Japanese, and so was the sliding door to enter.
“Welcome to….Oh!. Looks like you have been busy, Mister” said the lady attending the bath, from the sight of all the red on me which isn’t the stripes on my jacket
The atmosphere turned silent for a moment and most eyes were on me. But there were no hostilities as it was clearly a safe zone…..which was apparent from my unremovable gauntlet having vanished only leaving a bloody hand behind with holes punctured into my knuckles.
“Yeah, but most of it is mine”
“Mhm…sure it is. Oh well, I’m not here to judge. I’m guessing you would like a bath with laundry services….I’ll put you in for a private bath as well for no extra charge…for yours and my other customer’s safety. Comes up to 7000 Rels”
“Uh…pricey” I said instinctively.
“Hey, you want cheaper, try pulling that big ball up there a little closer” she said, pointing her finger at the sky, or the roof of the place at least
If Hayato was here, I could hear him pulling a snarky comment on that one. Hope he is still out there in this mess. Well, since I made it this far.
“You can pay me afterwards, honey…. If you are really hurt, make sure to heal those up before using the tub. I see any blood in there, I’m charging you triple.”
She uses the interface that popped up on the wooden counter and signaled me to go right ahead. And I found myself entering a changing room with one locker in it.
The real struggle started afterwards. Removing any of my clothes was a nightmare with a possibly broken hand and with cuts, gunshot wounds and bruises everywhere. I finally was relieved from my bloodied clothing after a struggle that felt like hours. I threw away my bandages from two days ago as the gunshot wounds had healed up leaving nothing but the dried blood on the bandages behind. I slowly turn around to look at my back through the mirror. The injury I received from Tsuneo’s disk launcher had clotted up, meaning it won’t reopen anytime soon. Other than that, all I was riddled with were bruises that were slowly healing up.
Knowing that I was free of open and bleeding wounds, I sat myself with great effort in front of the shower and washed off all the blood from my face and body. I only had one usable hand and it took a while to be fully sure that I was clean enough to get myself into the tub.
After I did submerge myself in it however, the first thing I checked was whether I could drown myself. Answer: Much easier said than done.
….What am I even doing?
The comfort of the water amplified the one thing my body had forgotten all this time. The fatigue and the soreness which made me notice how heavy my arms and legs were. Also made me reminisce about the fact that after all this struggling….after all this pain, I couldn’t change anything.
“Mom…Yuito…What should I have done?” I said to myself
I looked at my left hand, relieved of the gauntlet and the previous punctures on my fist now turned into bruises. It's as if the bath had sped up my healing by a little bit, however, it wasn’t doing anything against my fatigue. I leant back on the tub and let the flowing water wash me away. And in a quite a while…I finally relaxed.
“Akio…Akio” In my ear I heard a subtle voice while I was back in a world of pitch blackness
My eyes open and the voice becomes more clearer, and I jolt off where I was lying on
“Oi…Akio” and there he was
I looked around and immediately recognized this place. It was my team’s practice room. And I had been asleep in front of my PC.
“Man, you look exhausted” he said
But my suspicion that this was as fake as before as confirmed the moment I looked at my left hand and saw my gauntlet.
“This isn’t real,” I said after my observation.
“I never said it was….as a matter of fact, I thought you would prefer a scene like this, without anyone else to steal the limelight.”
“Can you not talk in his face and his voice….I know for a fact that you ain’t him”
He rolled backwards in his chair away from me… “ Still in denial about it aren’t you. Is that the reason you don’t even say Tadashi’s name anymore? You even block it out of your thoughts.”
“How did you-”
“I know everything about you Akio…. Everything you have gone through…the highs, the lows….everything”
“Who the hell are you?.... What the hell are you?”
“Some questions have to be answered by yourself, Akio…That was one of those questions”
He, who wore Tadashi’s face, got up from the gaming chair and walked towards the glass pane of the dark corner of the room, which revealed the outside of the building.
“Think of me like…an observer. Someone along for the ride….someone who sees everything you do, feel, think…someone who watches, but very….very…..rarely given the chance to act.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
He turns glances over his shoulder. “You saw it first hand, didn’t you?. The lack of emotion…empathy, the ease of every swing”.
“Wait, that was you? You killed Tadano-san”
He turned around and appeared out of the shadow. “Depends on how you see it” and this time, he had a different face. A face that I am even more familiar with
“You are…me?”
“Ah, ah, ah…..another question you should find the answer to yourself, Akio” he even had my voice
“Back to your previous question. I was involved, yes…. But I just held your hand through it all. The beating, the kill. That was all you….I just saw your bloodlust passing down your stream of thought….and I just happened to hold onto it for a moment….Now I know what you are thinking ‘I don’t remember half of what happened…it couldn’t have been me”
He sat back on the gaming chair and rolled himself up to my face, it was as if I was looking at myself in the mirror.
“That, my dear Akio…is called denial.”
He turned back around and got up from the chair.
“It’s quite common really… the first time you cross a line that you consider taboo, your mind does all you can to forget about it. It’s how humans are wired” he walked into the shadow from before.
And I felt a hand suddenly grabbing my shoulder and a head peaked in “But what about the second time you cross it, or the third…The more you do it, the more that line fades away into obscurity. But it’s after the first, your mind starts to accept it”
I get up from my chair, brushing him away…but there was no one behind me “So what…. you are going to keep tormenting me?” I asked
“Torment you?....No, no, no, no, no my dear friend. I’m just an audience….witnessing the fall of a great.” I cannot see him anymore, but it was as if his voice was shifting position every second. I kept looking around the room to see if I could spot him
“What will he do, once he finds the truth? What will it be that breaks him? How many more will betray your trust?”
He then suddenly appears behind me, but upside down “How many more will he lose?”
The sudden shock catches me off guard and throws me on to the ground. But I recovered quickly getting back onto my feet. And he appears right behind me and walks past me touching my shoulder
“Well, that’s all I could do anyways. Just sit around….Observing.”
“What is this place? Inside my head?” I inquired
“Ding, ding, ding….Full points for the genius here. Well, think of this place as where you go when you dream. Everything here is taken from your memories, allowing us to have this conversation in this very room….a place you spent a lot of time in….but… the two inconveniences about dreams, one…dreams don’t trigger very often….No dream, no conversation with me. And number two… The memories of what you experience here, often get hazy and unclear once you wake up. Which in turn means two things-”
“I’d forget either you or what I talked about with you once I wake up, and we won’t get to meet frequently”. I answered
“Well that depends. If and when you do return back here, you would instantly remember everything we talked about right now, and even if you do remember me once you wake up. It’s not like you could tell anyone about it. There are many in Ark Sanctuary that go through the same thing you are right now, but not all of them”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Question for you to find the answer yourself…as a matter of fact, let's play a game” He sits on the chair and crosses his legs on the seat.
“You solve this one riddle, I’ll answer any question you ask me”
“I sense a but coming”
“You sense right…there are two conditions. One, you can only answer once…get it wrong, and you and me will never meet again. Two, you can take as long as you like….you could even wake up today and you could answer the next time we meet, but, you only get one question if you do get it right….think hard on what you want to ask.”
And he gets up off the chair and walks away with his back turned and his hands behind his back….Yikes he is restless
“Riddle me this….. I am the biggest existence that is known to everyone…I make the world go round….I am what decides everything…the past, the present, the future……but nothing is as cruel as I am, nothing is as scary as I am, nothing is as demented as I am, and nothing enjoys the suffering of others more than I do….Who am I?”
He turns back around and faces me “ You are smart Akio…but I know no matter how hard you think right now, you won’t know the answer. You are not willing to guess it because you think of me too much of an asset to lose….. But the more we meet, the more information you will have, and by the time you do answer, I believe you will even have the right question for me”
If this was a game of chess, it’s like he knew what I was going to do, ten moves ahead. Whatever this thing is, he wasn’t kidding in the slightest when he said he knows me well. But my train of thought is interrupted when suddenly, cracks start forming at the edges of the room and they start shattering like a pane of glass.
“Oh…looks we have run out of time. You might not even remember me after you leave….but I will be watching” He walks away into the shattering scene in front. This was a chance I had to figure out more about what’s going on, and that chance was slipping away rapidly.
“Wait” I try to follow, but to no avail. I felt like a full-sized truck had been placed on my back, pushing me down, and my vision blurs away until nothing but pitch blackness remains.
.
.
.
.
I find myself opening my eyes…. blurred vision giving way to the scene of me relaxing in the tub. I remember having a dream about being in my team’s practice room, but was it a dream or a nightmare? It was all becoming hazy to me. I looked at my body and to my surprise, I had fully healed up while I was passed out. But it wasn’t a remedy for how sore I felt right now….as a matter of fact, relaxing only made it much worse. If I ever felt this sore back in the real world, I might just sleep for a week straight.
My relaxation was cut short as three knocks emanated from the door and echoed into the bath.
“Only 10 more minutes left for you, honey…. I’ll leave your clothes here, so I’d recommend you start drying up”
I struggled to pick up my cinderblock of a body off the tub and outside, and now I felt much worse. My heels feel like I’ve just walked on a cactus, and every fiber of my body refuses to move. I had to ignore it eventhough it was getting much harder to, and I had to keep moving.
I dry my hair and leave to the main hall with a bathrobe on, and spy the massage chairs in the distance…something I could use about now.
I took a seat on the closest one and it started doing its magic. While it pressing on the muscles that had gone through hell felt agonizing, the relief that followed was a godsend. A few minutes later, I stood up feeling like a massive weight had been taken off my shoulders. I get up from the chair and witness the two other chairs beside it, reminding me of the last time I saw my family.
I even indulged in a bottle of milk from the vending machine next to the counter and chugged it down in one go. After which, I was disappointed
“Yeaaah, manga is a total liar” I told myself, looking at the bottle
I held the bottle and attempted to move to trash it to the bin, but that is when a frail looking lady collided with me. She falls to the ground in the next moment.
“I’m very sorry about that, are you okay?” I asked her, extending my arm out to her, but…was that a brief shriek I just heard?
He sprung back to life and grabbed the vase on the counter next to her and swung at me with it….she looked like she had seen a demon and her screams was as if she was fighting for her life . I wasn’t expecting to get attacked in here but I managed to duck under the vase and it shattered making contact with the vending machine. I instinctively reach for my blade but for my luck, I forgot the fact that they don’t materialize in safe zones.
The soreness of my body and the fact that I made the wrong move going for my non-existent weapon was all the time she needed to pick up a shard of the vase from the ground and come at me again. She gave me no room to even breathe. She rushed straight at me with a knife-like shard and I grabbed her arms blocking her, and she did the one thing I didn’t expect…knee to family jewels.
Causing me to flinch, it loosened my grip and she sent the shard right through my shoulder and pushed into the wall by the massage chairs. She pushed the shard as deep as possible into my shoulder, even through the resistance of my shielding. My screams of pain resonated through the room and finally, she was subdued.
Another one came in and pulled her off me, and it didn’t take anyone long to realize they were related
“MINAMI!...CALM DOWN!” She screamed at the attacker, trying to get through her cries of aggression.
“Hey, hey, hey….it’s me…it’s me…It’s alright…you are safe” the girl who stopped her placed her hands on the attacker’s cheeks and tried to get her to calm down
And suddenly, the screaming turned into crying…. “Onee-chan…ONEE-CHAN! I’m scared…I can’t do this anymore” She started breaking down in her sister’s arms
“It’s okay…it’s okay. No-one will hurt you anymore with me around” the sister replied.
I slowly pulled myself off the wall to check up on them.
“Hey, is she alright? She looks-” I tried to reach out to at least the sister who appeared to be in her right mind, but it turned out even she was hostile as she grabbed the arm I was reaching out with and looked over her shoulder.
“Don’t you dare” she then looked back at me with what I could only describe a stare of death
“Don’t you fucking dare” her threat was only enhanced further from how strong her grip was…it was like my hand was crushed between two boulders. Also didn’t help the fact that her arm which was exposed from her bathrobe was covered in scars. I instantly knew that she wasn’t someone I wanted to get into a fight with, and I backed out.
Unfortunately for both, there were others in the bathhouse that witnessed the whole thing and were staring right at them. The sister looked around, clearing noticing that fact and got my on her feet with her sibling
“I’m sorry” she said and ran out the door with her traumatized younger sister.
“MISS…YOU STILL HAVE TO PAY!” The attendant shouted at them, but they were already gone.
“It’s okay…I’ll cover their cost”.
“You sure, sir?”
“Yes…I’m sure”.
From what I observed just now, it was fair to assume that those two has had it rough too. And I had no qualms about relieving some of the pressure even those of a random person with the blood money that is on me right now. And just like that, I was relieved of all I got from that job.
And with a hole in my shoulder and not a Rel in my pocket, I was just left wondering…
“What the hell was that all about?”