Chapter 62: Grief
Annabelle Grazhe’s Personal Notes regarding the deaths of Police Officer Yvette Ingrid and Third-Rank Investigator Indra Harmony.
’Dogwhistler’s quick. Diana’s right to remain wary of her, but she doesn’t know half the trouble she’s in looking for that damn enigma. Especially now that she’s gotten two of our ranks killed. I don’t blame her, not entirely if what Dogwhistler said was true about the situation. Her friend was kidnapped upon Indra Harmony learning that Diana possessed a Gold, and Metal Heavens don’t limit their cruelty to those with Shardware.
The issue as it is, Little Requiem’s become aware of the renegade Gold within our forces. It won’t be long until our own people are aware of it, by then I intend to have Diana transferred to a squad more directly under my control, but her damn father’s playing his hands dirty. She can't go to central, I won’t let her. Not while she’s the perfect bait. Maybe this has worked out in my favor, at least now there’s a guarantee that the Puppeteers will be eying her, I just need to hope her skills are as good as they seem to be. It’s no easy feat getting to Tier One in a month, Gold SIM or not. The Gourmet will be a challenge for her, one that she’s likely to fail. Regardless, I’ll get Simon’s ass… I’ll do what my father couldn’t.’
4:23 PM
July 29th
Diana
Sitting on my own bed after getting back from Little Requiem, the softness of it was sickening. Comfort like this wasn’t deserved by someone like me. I’d… killed Yvette. If I had a better grasp over my own powers, then maybe I could’ve…
My fingers clenched around the only memory I had left of her, the Silver SIM, it had only been in her flesh for moments… but just holding it made me feel like I could hear her voice. I wanted to see her, to be able to meet that warm smile once more. To hug her.
Tears streamed down my face, and the bed creaked as my weight sprawled on it. Sobbing, clawing, I didn’t know how else to release the wreckage running through my heart. What would I do now? I’d killed two police members. That was enough to get me off the force.
I should be taken off.
But I can’t let that happen. What would everything I’ve worked for become then? Please… Founders, God, anything… just show me something? Just some damn light at the end of this cold and rubble-strewn tunnel! Screaming consumed me, and the begging… endless begging.
Yvette… she couldn’t be gone.
But her SIM sat in my palm like a gravestone. My fingers gripping into the little chimeric insect like it would change into her. Hoping and pleading. Anything to dig myself out of this cold pit.
Her shoulders, I’d burned the skin off. Just from one touch. Her entire life zapped away by a stray lapse in thought! Dammit, how could I be so careless! Of course, my powers were dangerous to everyone! Once my bed was torn, my feet paced the floor until I puked on my floor, a bitter release as my thoughts flooded in and out like a pulsating darkness. Gushing the contents of my Little Requiem breakfast. I wanted this to end.
This mad grief toiling and drenching in my skin, it crawled through my blood like ants were eating through me, building a fire and kindling it until my soul would burn into ashes. The ash couldn’t come quickly enough/
Would it ever end? Pain like this? I could never bring back…
I just wanted it gone, or replaced. I opened my eyes to focus on the SIM again, lost in its Silver reflections, hoping to see her in it. My father had given this to me, hoped that it would nurture me, well it didn’t do shit to save her? What, kinetic absorption? He thought that would save me in this city?
No, this SIM wouldn’t save me, it would’ve only let it toss me around harder. To drag me and bruise me, just to let me stand up again. And again. And again.
But maybe there was a way for it to save all of this. Just once more, once more I wanted to feel Yvette close to me. Even if it was the last thing I would ever…
A part of me liked the sound of that, another part of me hated it. I didn’t feel the pain as my sharpened fingernail sliced into my left palm, nor did I worry as the SIM wriggled to life. Gifted vitality by my blood, it sunk deep into my arm, squirming through my arteries where it would dissolve to become one with me.
And my Gold SIM would reject it, they’d fight. They’ll war with one another, my body used as the battlefield, and maybe…
Maybe for once, I wouldn’t be the one designed to come out on top.
Maybe for once, I didn’t want to be better.
Maybe for once… I could stop fighting.
The grasping claws that emerged from within my blood vessels were enough to make me scream, and I relished that release. For a second, I could feel her nearby. Her smile, her snarky demeanor and uplifting tone. The pain was a warmth, a welcoming one, even as it overwhelmed me, I- I-
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I was happy, fading away. Once the flame was burnt out, all that would remain was ash. Then I could scatter, free.
———
When I came to, my bed was drenched in blood. My borrowed clothes crunchy like they’d scabbed over as I lifted my tired and aching form off the mattress. Everything was blurry, odd. Like I’d woken up from a dream. What happened? What did I…
A message stopped me, a list of awaiting notifications running down as soon as I became aware enough for my hidden frame to stretch it’s information down.
Error… Error… multiple Mutational Sources Identified.
Warning: Your organs are undergoing rapid fail-
Error: Misread signatures, organs are stab-
Error: Anomaly in genome structure, please go see a Gene Clinic as soon as poss-
Alert: High activity occurring from Mutation: Mutational Synergy
Highly Potent Mutagenic Source Identified… Silver-Grade.
Three Silver Tier 0 Mutations have been acquired…
Kinetic Absorption, Hardened Skin and Force Redirec… Error: Mutagen misidentified.
Alert: High activity occurring from Mutation: Mutational Synergy
Tier One Mutation acquired…
[Metabolism] [G] Kinetic Catalyst (7 GC): Specialized cells located by your skin and muscles can absorb kinetic energy and convert it to electrical energy.
Development: 27%… Three Meta-Mutations have occurred: The cells can reverse the process, allowing you to charge electrical energy within them and release kinetic energy instead; conversion is now more efficient; cells can also store kinetic energy for later usage.
Additional Meta-Mutations have occurred:
Electrical Neurogenesis 57%: Nerves exercise increased control over mobility; Reduced strain when electrical energy is used to catalyze nervous system activity.
Compact Tissues 63%: Heightened ability to focus Warp Energy into specific body parts; Compacted tissues now have a greater capacity for electrical energy; greatly increased baseline tissue integrity.
Mineral Assimilation 37%: Increased absorption of metals capable of conducting electricity; higher metallic concentration deposited into connective tissue.
Bioelectrogenesis 64%: Massive increase to storage capacity for electricity; greater manipulation of electricity outside the body when Warp Energy is infused into it; Warp Energy can now manipulate electrical currents outside the body.
Electromagnetic Vision 52%: Increased visual acuity for minute electrical impulses; Greater sensitivity to electrical currents without the need of transferring Warp Energy into the eyes.
Mutational Synergy 75%: Absorbed SIMs can now directly interact and modify current Mutations; Increased Meta-Mutation probability; Meta-Mutations are now more synergistic with other Mutations…
Integrity is increased to Iron X
Energy is increased to Iron IX
Capacity is increased to Iron X
Genome Capacity: 46/50
Development: 47%
Getting up slowly, I sent a pulse of electricity up my brain to decipher what had just happened. The impact hit me like an Aerodyne Vehicle. I’d… tried to do that to myself? My breath lurched, shame and anger sizing up as I stared at the bloodbath around me.
So much had changed, and I… wanted to… end it? I… was I really that…?
Shame collapsed through me.
That wasn’t what Yvette would have wanted me to do. She’d never want… god, what was I doing? I was a mess.
I hadn’t even cleaned up my vomit from the floor. Easing my way out of bed, I was surprised to discover how nimble I felt. And hungry, Founder’s tits, was I hungry. First things first, I did the only thing I could to distract myself, I cleaned up.
The floor, the bedsheets. A shower, a long one. Then I strived to make sense of what I’d just done… I’d committed the worst possible thing you could do when you have an Implant. Attempt to absorb a second one. If you survived, that meant losing out on massive levels of compatibility for the sake of a new mutation but…
Compatibility: 99.9%
Nothing. That only further resolved my need to figure out what made mine and Ripley’s Implants so special. He could read the Adapter’s memory off a BUG, and I could absorb another SIM without even a percentage drop. That was without accounting for the amount of Meta-Mutations I had.
Ripley… my head flinched when I thought of him. It was strange, despite how at-odds we should be, when he had arrived I’d thrown my desperation out at him. This was our third time meeting, but compared to the first two… it was difficult to say, but I could feel this innate draw pulling my attention towards him.
Not in a… emotional sense no. That would be ugly, besides I was pretty sure he was dating that girl who was with him… Twilight, or Mirage — they slept on the same bed. Catching my wayward imagination, I focused. It was more like we were connected by our Implants. Was that a thing?
Stretching my hands, I closed my eyes tight as the image of how they’d seared Yvette’s shoulders stabbed into my sight. No, no, I was moving her out of the way of Indra’s bullet. She would have been critically injured with that.
But she might have lived.
I stopped myself before I dug deeper into that hole. I’d killed her, whether I wanted to admit it or not. I’d… fuck…
Tears rolled down again, but this time there was a difference in them. I felt the weight of reality crush my shoulders, I’d lost my best friend. I’d lost another person who I thought of as a friend.
And I’d lost trust in myself, in my ability.
Was this how Ripley felt when Selene…? Maybe I was judging him too harshly, his desperation and desire to protect what he had… god, I would do anything to get Yvette back. To change the past.
But that wasn’t possible.
I sniffled up my tears. Yvette, what would she want me to do? For one, kick Rorsche’s ass, and second… use her SIM’s potential to it’s fullest. I now had an additional source of electrical income at my disposal, the ability to feed on movement itself and a Meta-Mutation to add towards it. I wasn’t sure how it would interact with my current strength augments but if it meant I could be stronger then…
Then I had to use what little of Yvette I had left.
I had to use everything left to me, to end what stood in my way. Even if… yeah, even if it meant relying on the man who I hated most.
Flicking through my contacts… I called up Dr. Faltest.
”Diana? You haven’t updated me on how the digestion of the Iron SIM went, what were the changes?” The Doctor immediately jumped to her most important dialogue.
”You’ll figure that all out later, and more. First, I need you to do something…” It took me a few seconds to gather up the shame and throw it away. “Get me in contact with my father.”