(Here we go!)

It is warm just like the  summer heat and a  pillow surrounds me, yet it is not suffocating. I cannot move my limbs and I cannot...breath...I feel at peace, at last. My life has been struggle after struggle and death after death. The cold and beautiful thing that death is, cannot be comprehended by a mere thug such as I. Although born in the worst part imaginable and going through starvation...real starvation, the kind that kills, I always wanted a better life. A life without starving and one in which my education was at reach. As crazy as it sounds I am a philosophical man. After making it in life, due to my own power, I traveled around the world and although I know what I have done to survive I cannot say I regret...the many deaths I caused or the problems I imposed on other people, but I have one thing to say...what is this pull! the hell! As I was making peace for my sins...I was...um born. The pull towards the entrance and the exit was strong, so I went with the  current.

As I did so an extreme light came from the heavens and I was born. That sounds ridicules, but it is not a lie I was born. The lights were very overwhelming and the sounds were incoherent. Grey and white heaps of blankness was all I saw. My limbs once again were unable to be moved and  for the first time in a long while...I am saddened to say I cried and to my hearts content. 

I was held by shaking hands, very weak, soft hands which dropped me, yet I did not fall. I felt that I was not being carried, but I was at the same time...My mind only pressured me to cry more and more, but I kept stale and listened to the best of my ability (which was not much) I wanted to see what happened, yet I could not see or hear well, so I once again was incapable of doing much.  I then was taken by strong arms and it actually seems as if I was admits the air or in the sky...At this point I am strongly confussed. I could only hear cries from what seems to be a man and at that time I saw death, the cold beauty among beauties, the elegant grace which took my soul and took my life. Death that which I only felt took someone again and a person I might never know.

The scene played in my mind and it went in a dark direction. I was born, but my mother soon died...yes saddening and short, but those incapable of surviving can only blame themselves. The man holding me should be my "father," he seems to cry silently, but I know death took something from him as well. The warmth in his arms have left and the cool air that was once cozy is now...threatening. The day seems to get darker and colder, I do not understand why my heart is in a panic as the air becomes colder and thinner, similar to my patience. Not knowing what is happening around me can get supremely annoying. Then again, the arms below me, which hold me, tremble and shivers also crawl themselves up upon my spine. I hear something, something incomprehensible, yet understandable. The tone in which the voice speaks seems angered and disappointed, but not at me...I hope. The man that was once holding me laid me down on a cold substance that could be compared to snow. The man or my father said, "I-_sorr_- I_- mothr_- do_-sad and she _- I'm sorr-_ I know you will--," and like a bad radio my mind lost connection. I understood the merciless words, which made me mad at the unforgiving world I recognize.

I heard footsteps leave and I cried for attention, I am not afraid to cry...Any more...I understand that this is the only way to get attention. I heard a door or some wood like thing swing itself and hit a wall. My crying died down and someone grabbed me by the waste and a very foolish thing they did because I am a rag-doll, which has no balance. My head fell to the side and I was taken inside a room. How I know this I cannot explain, because it is just by my mere lackey sense. I was put upon a bed and I heard or maybe felt someone sigh. The sigh was not saddening nor did it have contempt, the only thing I felt was annoyance. The bedding was not soft nor did it complement my view of this new life. I felt neglected once again, but at peace with the idea of another life,  I have not had the time to think of anything beyond my birth and...Probably my mother, father, and future. Reincarnation is a strange thing that is named differently by different people, but I am glad at a chance to live once again...even in the cruel world I know. 

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I soon fell into the darkness and slept for a long while.

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A few days have past since I last felt those warm arms surround me and I can now see colors and hear exceptionally well. What I am seeing I do not like the color is still bland, the bed I am on  is  dirty beyond repair, and my body is very...Nonhuman like. I touched my head once and I felt ears...Not the normal ears or the ears humans decorate,  but the ears of a cat-like animal. I seem to have the smell of death and blood upon me as well, the person who brought me inside the shaggy room is a ghost and I have not seen that person for a while. My complexion is not so great and I do not have to even see myself, I have not eaten anything for a couple of days and I feel weak. My legs can now move and I can feel hair...on the  ears I mentioned, on my head, and all over my body just like clothing. I seem to not be human and I seem to be strangely calm about my situation. "Clank!" The sound of the door comes crashing into my sensitive ears and I cringe without actual teeth. The woman with red lipstick, little amounts of clothing, and a drunken face comes near me and says, "Sorry...Um I had to work, but I bought some milk and some food," she seems tipsy and falls over while laughing a bit. "Oh! You stink! That's...just *sigh* sorry this is also my fault," she seems disappointed in herself and picks me up. I am not the same rag-doll as before, so this time I stay put and firm. The red painted women walks towards...Um what seems like a bathroom. The walls were all stained and the home seemed like shack, but for some reason this place felt like home and it does not matter that it is not a proper house. I take an extensive and warm bath in what looks like a bucket but it is the most warmth I have gotten in a while, so I am not judging. The ditsy woman seems happy and she takes off all the blood from moms...Um...From the birth situation and she seems happy just like me. My vocal cords seem to develop faster then most babies and so has my body. I gather the courage to say, "Mum! Muuaa," the woman seems like she was about to cry into the tub and she smiles. "Yeah...Amandus, I'm your mum." she is happy and so I am happy as well. Later in the day she feeds me milk and cradles me around the shack, she, I mean...mom later makes me use the outdoor toilet and puts a warm rag around my waste, just like a dipper. She puts me on a bed, not the same as last time I may add. This new bed had no stains, which I figure was all due to my waste and pee. 

The days pass in a similar manner and I soon began to crawl and walk. I found new things about my body, such as that I have a tail and my hair color is just like  a rare leopard, which has been stained by snow. I grow at a rapid pace and language skills were not in need to be taught. My mother thought I was a genius, because at the age of one I was already a fully capable child. I wanted to be there for mom because I saw how she bathed in cold water and worked by pleasuring men, I want to be there for her...My only family and the one I truly love.

(The took tons of energy from me!)tongue-out [/fiction/chapter/edit/Scripts/tinymce/js/tinymce/plugins/emoticons/img/smiley-tongue-out.gif]