Zahn fell, screaming an echo into the well as the glowing green water rose to meet him. Green? It was blue. The water-not-water rushed past him, giving the impression of falling far faster than a well would allow. The pulling sensation in his back intensified as if he were wearing a harness, and he surfaced with a gasp of air. Suddenly feeling solid ground beneath his feet, the Player nearly fell on his face.
Jerking to the side, Zahn tripped over an exposed root with all the grace of a drunken squirrel. He lay on his back for a moment, staring at the sunlight streaming peacefully through the leaves and branches of a massive old oak tree. He was in a forest, a far cry from the ruins he left, and had apparently arrived in a hollow between roots on this behemoth. His tree sat at the edge of a small clearing ringed by bushes and thin trees. The green leaves shone in the bright sunlight, wind rustling overhead. Birds nearby chirped a happy song, loud and free. The air was cool and crisp, with a scattering of red and orange leaves among the green. Wow, it really is a beautiful day. Time to get home. With that resolution, Zahn gathered his will and stood up with a huff, bending to brush off his pants to find only a loincloth hanging between his nethers. Oh, perfect. I’m wearing a diaper. No sooner than he’d criticized himself the wind picked up and sliced through his meager protection. He could hear the faint patters of something falling in the breeze.
“Where’d my dagger go?” Cursing his undress, he shuffled his feet and looked around. Brown trunks stretch in each direction, the occasional white and grey dispersing the monotony. Bushes and flowers nearby also had a sort of red flower theme going, even the flowers in the trees had a red tinge to them. With him in the clearing of low brown grass a single crimson star-shaped flower sat bigger than his head, with some absurd red thing dangling out from its center like an angler fish’s deep water lure. The red sac dripped every few moments, the liquid hissing as it hit the ground. Okay, do not touch the big red thing.
As Zahn looked up and shaded his eyes from the bright light, a new box appeared before him.
Welcome Player Zahn!
You have selected: Custom Class
Your Class Trainer is: err///undefined
Your starting city is: err///undefined
Your starting faction is: err///undefined
Remember, rise within the ranks of your ruling faction to grow in power and rise in Ranks! Your Class Trainer can tell you more.
He looked at the floating gray insult with dismay. “Well now what?” The screen faded as if in answer, and the birds chirped merrily away. The wind answered his question, and with a soft pattering noise liquid started to fall. “Oh come on,” he criticized the skies, “it’s bright as fuck out here!”
The source of the rain was made clear when drops started hitting him, stinging and burning his skin. “Ow. Ow! OW! Ouch fuck ouch!” Red drops fell from the upper reaches of the nearby trees, bright red flowers shimmering with the wind and leaves. Branches and leaves seemed unaffected by the burning rain, but the naked and unarmored Player quickly fell to swatting the drops all over his body before trying to hide around the trunk of his spawning tree. “Fucking evil rain! Why! Argh, Fuck!”
-1 Health. Falling Firewater damages Zahn.
Seemingly determined to improve his vocabulary with only variations of curses, Zahn stomped around the tree until he found an angle keeping him mostly dry. As the wind died back down, the drips slowed as well, until quiet was once again ruled by the birds. A small creature hopped out from under a bush with wide leaves and sniffed at the clearing. It looked similar to a rabbit, but had thick rough fur instead of the fluffy bunny he was familiar with. Zahn watched quietly as the little critter sniffed its way over to the flower, and started to nibble on one of the petals. Am I going to have to eat that? Do I have to eat? As if in answer, his stomach growled out loud and set the not-a-rabbit to panic. Dude I literally just ate. Like not even an hour ago.
The beast located him quickly at his tree, and faced the Player with a tinny roar. He watched in a sort of bemused stupor as the foot tall monster squared off with a level one. When it struck, his humor vanished as fast as his pride. The little bugger leapt up high, far higher than his head in the blink of an eye, and opened its mouth to roar again. Instead of a shrill whine, what escaped reminded Zahn more of burning rubber. The wad of fiery anger shot true, striking the flat-footed fool in the center of his chest.
-21 Health. Rubbet used Fire Spit on Zahn.
“Fuuuck!” He leapt backwards as the missile hit him, burning through a third of his health in a second. Chest hair and skin burned with equal vigor, the blob seemingly dissolving now that its effect had been delivered. The sudden smell of burning flesh ignited a dark memory and made him panic. “Fuck you rabbit shit!” With his bold battlecry, Zahn lashed out with his foot to meet only air and bunny scorn as the ‘Rubbet’ dodged and fled back under its bush. With all the sudden noise the Player was making, none of the local small game wanted to investigate the intruder.
-2 Health. Fire Spit inflicts Weak Burn (%43)
Alert! You have been struck by a status affliction! You have been affected with Weak Burn.
Weak Burn: Target loses 2 Health every 5s for 25s.
“Augh!” Zahn waved away the blue popup telling him the problem, as a surge of pain radiated out from his chest. That rabbit’s spit is fucking me up! This is bullshit! He doubled over his wound, eyes darting as he moved away from the bush containing fluffy evil. Zahn examined the ground around his tree, he concluded his poor crude dagger didn’t make the trip with him. Circling his tree of origin, he put the thick trunk firmly between the clearing and himself before turning and considering his path.
-2 Health. Weak Burn damages Zahn.
That is seriously getting annoying, Zahn winced the pain away. A sort of path ran between the copses of trees without strange flowers or savage rabbits present. He ambled forwards between the brush, keeping clear of any bushes or flowers. Everything was either red or green, even the brown bark had a reddish tinge. As the wind blew overhead, the stinging drops were joined by another reminder of his weakness.
-2 Health. Weak Burn damages Zahn.
He sighed.
* * * * *
Hours of pushing through the fiery forest later saw his health mostly restored. The patch of skin scarred by the Rubbet’s attack remained, keeping his health at a stubborn 31/33. I gotta find something to heal me, before I find another stupid rabbit. The plant life around him hadn’t changed, varying in shape and size but remaining stubbornly either of the holiday colors. The ‘rain’ causing him so much irritation was found to only fall from flowering trees, so keeping an eye on the sky helped dodge the sudden painful outpour.
Ferns rose into great bushy verdant umbrellas, providing shelter from the stinging rain. He learned under his third such fern that other animals appreciated the cover as well, when he was suddenly introduced to something that might resemble a road runner if not for the crest of actual fire on its head. The small critter succeeded in chasing away the invading Player before he could learn its name, an ending that suited both parties just fine.
A case of literary theft: this tale is not rightfully on Amazon; if you see it, report the violation.
Trying to take shelter under an acid-dripping tree proved to be his worst mistake so far. The trunk and lower, flowerless branches seemed to be sufficient shielding until something in the upper branches broke. As a branch fell and shook its brethren, the acid rain concentrated all throughout his immediate area and the evil liquid flowed over and between its branches and leaves without effort.
-13 Health. Falling Firewater damages Zahn.
“Aargh!” Incoherently screaming, the fool took off as fast as he was able through the brush, trying to escape the evil rain. He spotted another fern and dove under it, seemingly safe for the moment. The sound was almost peaceful outside, if not for the burning truth.
He took a moment to catch his breath, listening to the falling rain. The wind had stopped chilling his nethers, and he was plenty warm from his hiking, but naked was still naked. He scrounged around under his fern but dead leaves and sticks make poor clothing. Selecting a study stick, he tried taking a practice swing under the massive frond to be ready for another killer rabbit. Next one I see gets the ol’ Baseballmeister treatment. Swinging faster, he found something strange: his arms were the same size he had the same reach, but he couldn't swing nearly as hard or fast as he remembered. As if living underwater, each motion he tried to make was slower and difficult, knowing he used to move a certain speed left Zahn confused and a little nervous.
The new Player was discovering a game mechanic first hand: Stat points matter where physical shape does not. In the same way an Elf and a Human can have the same stats and be very different shapes, the form of a being does not indicate its power -- or lack thereof. Being from a very non-magical world where the scale and brawn of a man gave fair indication to how much damage he could deal, Zahn was now entering a world where numbers on a screen could prove wrong what he knew as real. He had experienced the Rubbet and Fire Chicken, but had yet to understand how their relative Agility stats left him helpless.
Even if he had the introspection to check before and after strength and speed, he had no way to know the simple critters around him had a base Agility of ten compared to his three, and he would never catch any of them unless he set a trap. Swinging his stick with a frown, Zahn decided to try and be pragmatic and carry multiple sticks. He tucked his first choice into the back of his loincloth and reached for another before yet another screen made itself known.
No Inventory Available!
Without an Inventory, characters cannot easily carry and access their belongings. Items you attempt to stash on your person without a carrying container may be lost or stolen.
To gain an Inventory, simply equip a container or your Starting Bag.
What bag? There is no bag! Silently raging at the unforgiving gray rectangle, Zahn abandoned carrying all the sticks his jockstrap could fit, and settled for two large sticks - and more disappointment.
Attention! You lack the skill needed to Dual Wield. Visit your Class Trainer for more.
Fine. I get my one stick, and fuck you popup. Glaring at nothing in a manner completely dignified and in no way pouting, Zahn discarded his extra weapon with prejudice and stared out into the dripping pain. Can this get worse?
Zahn was getting ready to look for a log to sleep under when he smelled something he’d expected to for some time now - smoke. Casting about, he brushed aside a thin curtain of vines to see actual smoke rising in the distance. Against the white and fluffy clouds running across the sunset sky, a brown and gray column rose unsteadily and unendingly, telling him more than he thought it could. He’d seen homes burn down before, back when he fought for his freedom. But those concerns lived a world away, in a life he’d long since left behind.
Hiking through the woods, not a mile from home. Training went well, the rifle held up and he even fed himself for over a month out here. As time goes on and bullets run low, even the most stubborn teen needs to eventually come home. It should have been long enough by now, everyone should be looking way far away from his little nothing town.
The soldiers shouldn’t have come back. The Sergeant should have moved on, should have kept looking. His father didn’t do anything wrong.
Telling himself that the past was past, that his life is different now, Zahn found himself running through the brush as fast as he could. Smelling it means it’s close, these woods would keep a lot of smells down. Rising that high means it’s been burning for hours, and no steam means nobody is fighting the fires. But is it a forest fire? Am I that lucky? His whirling thoughts kept him distracted enough that when he finally heard voices, he didn’t even register that someone was talking until they cried out. Climbing a short hill brought a sudden end to the red-barked trees, showing him a burning village. Most of the buildings were charred timber and smoke, but the largest few still stood in flames. Mean-looking men on horseback surrounded a group of captives, nearly a hundred men and women sitting on the ground and keeping their heads down. The largest and most decorated raider stomped around on his mount, shouting at an old man in a language Zahn didn’t know.
“Ha yiit! Maya’l nekkatar, su’wotun yallesh!” The horseman was insistent, gesturing at the old bowed man who refused to look up. From his clothes he looked like a shaman or elder for the village, sporting a thick wooden necklace and beaded robes. His silver hair was short but even with clean hands bound in his lap. He seemed to ignore the angry bandit, staring at the ground determinedly. “Ha yiit!”
Zahn stepped through the treeline in a daze, locked in a memory of another fire, another old man facing his death with pride. The surrounding raiders reacted immediately, yelling and nocking their arrows to their bows. The leader looked up and stopped them with a gesture. Staring at his face, Zahn watched as he rode closer and stared right back. With only meters of space between them, he could make out details that seemed to bring the NPC to life. Older without wrinkles, the proud horselord wore a thick leather vest with bits of metal and bone threaded into it like trophies. His hair was long and braided with beads, matching his horse. The man’s eyes were dark, almost black, before suddenly brightening with purple in the iris, spreading -
The village vanished. The raiders disappeared, taking their captives with them. The forest turned black, the sky yielded to night. Everything and everyone save the Player and Lord vanished, leaving only the two in a personal tableau of darkness. A faint gold light connected the two men as the only source of illumination and Zahn could clearly make out the other man’s face. Scars and pockmarks riddled his face and part of his nose was missing, likely from an opponent.
Mind Battle, Start!
With barely a popup to give him a hint, a massive pressure slammed into his face, knocking Zahn backwards and away. The path stayed in place, its light barely reaching his eyes in the oppressive darkness. He barely felt the back edge of something with his heels before surging forwards again, feeling for all the world like he’d just stepped away from a cliff. Before him, the same dirty horse rider hung suspended in a void with only the path of dim yellow light connecting them. Leaning forward with his mind, a warmth suffused his perception of self and he shot forward, closing the distance between them in a moment and impacting the horse lord’s ghost and launching it backwards at the same speed. The specter wailed as it left the lit path and faded into the darkness after a short distance.
The burn on his chest pulsed, sending pain through his body out from the center of his chest. As soon as his challenger left the field, a gray overhead light detailed his environment, and popups appeared. Zahn hung over a yellow path in a rapidly brightening gray nowhere, floating as if underwater and without a body. The popups answered some questions, and left him with more.
Alert! You have entered a battle for your very Will!
Alert! You have endured a Psychic attack!
Alert! You have dominated your opponent’s Will!
You may now control their mind and body if both have not been destroyed.
Alert! You have destroyed your opponent’s perception of self!
All attacks made against this target are 100% more effective, regardless of Rank or Level. Target is considered Helpless and Prone. Target cannot defend itself or take independent action until the ailment is lifted. Estimated time: ErrTarNotLiving years.
Congratulations! You have emerged victorious from a Mind Battle! To the victor go the spoils. You have been granted 1 Rank in your strongest Psychic-type magic! ErrNoSpellFound:You have unlocked the Psychic school of magic!
Visit your class trainer for more information.
After the deluge of updates stopped, Zahn felt a tingling along his scalp. He tried to scratch the sensation away, but no arms or body made that difficult. He dismissed the windows as he read them, but even as the blue faded the tingling increased to an ache, then pain-filled pressure to match his torso. The weight started to press down on him as another popup offered escape: Would you like to return to the physical realm? Yes/no. He mentally slapped the Yes option and everything flashed white before he opened his eyes back in his rags and stared at the bandits.
Impossibly, he didn’t die before forming words as the horse lord he’d had his staring contest with was suffering the consequences. The man slumped forward before tilting off his mount like a sack of meal, and his men panicked as if he’d been shot. Shouting in a strange language and gesturing with their bows and swords, the wild bandits circled their leader before one lifted him onto his own horse and the group rode away, shouting and screaming words Zahn didn’t know. He stood dumbly and watched, unable to move or gesture as the splitting headache returned full force as he re-entered his body. Squinting at the shocked villagers, he managed to spit out a sentence.
“Someone should put out that fire,” the dizzy Player declared, before falling on his face in the dirt.