“Wait let me put on my equipment, hey is there a changing room?”

“Of course missy.” The blacksmith leads her to a changing room.

Sam looks over the gear and wonders how to put it all on. Looking up he notices the changing room has many how to guides on its walls. Follow the directions Sam puts the leather gear on over his clothes. Unlike most games the armor fully covers Sam’s body, no unrealistic sexy gaps. Still it is a tight fitting black leather armor so the feminine body lines are still very noticeable.

After the leather Sam puts on the metal breast plate. It’s just a well-rounded upper chest plate with two cross straps in back. Then wears the cervelliere. Looking in the mirror Sam does a few sexy leather clad swordswoman poses.

Walking out of the changing room the blacksmith looks Sam over then tightens a few straps. “Don’t want your armor to fall off in battle. Not a bad first time putting it on though.” Some of the tightened straps are around Sam’s nether region. As Sam walks over to the rest of the party she is getting somewhat distracted by the sensations of leather straps digging into his female crotch.

The three stooges’ gaze at Sam as he walks towards them. Noticing this Sam sways her hips a bit more as she walks. Blushing Bowl walks outside and opens a wooden manhole cover.

Carrot jumps into the hole, “The glamorous places I take all the girls too.” Sam follows then pretends to slip on the sewer slime as he lands. Carrot grabs Sam’s metal breastplate and lifts her back up. Blushing Carrot looks away. [Double kill.]

Looking around the well-constructed sewer Sam again wonders at the design decisions that made this possible. A perfect hemisphere eight foot tall modern concrete sewer with lower central channel. Lighted with what looks like modern electrical lighting and continues far off into the distance.  All this for a medieval village of maybe a hundred inhabitants.

Once Potato and Bowl arrive Sam spots a blue slime. “There’s one!” Sam runs toward the blue slime making sure to ‘accidently’ hit Potato with her hip. Sam pauses close to Potato and brushes her leather gloved hand over his chest. “Sorry.” She says. Potato mumbles, “It it’s al-alright.” [Multi kill and party wipe kukuku.]

Drawing both his kriegsmesser and dagger Sam attacks the blue slime. Since she has no idea how to wield weapons she just repeatedly slashes with both weapons as fast as his stats will allow her. The blue slime is almost bisected after the first cut and within seconds is diced into many blue globs.

“That was fun! Oh there’s another one.” Sam runs after another blue slime and repeats the attack. This time the first slash is instead blocked by a green bar. The green bar decreases until it’s a much shorter length and turns red. The next attack shatters the bar and cuts into the blue slime. Several stabs later and the area is again splattered with blue slime bits.

Several brutal blue slime murders later one finally gets a chance to attack. It jumps at Sam’s breast but Sam knees it further up into the air before slicing it to pieces. Noticing a distinct lack of participation from her party members Sam looks to see what is going on.

She sees Potato holding his side and wheezing as he runs to catch up. Carrot is doing better but seems at a loss of what to do. Finally Bowl just walks with his arms in his robes looking complacent.

“What’s going on guys? Was I doing something wrong?”

“Nothing wrong babe. Those moves you used was hot!”

“Can’t… keep up… How much… Endurance… do you… have?”

After Potato catches his breath. “I’ve never seen anyone fight that quickly and this is your first time in the game? What abilities are you using?”

“Abilities? I don’t have any I just put all my start points into stats and swing as fast as I can at the slimes. Oh I also bought the Noble package too for more points.” Sam lies

“You must have gone full physical stats then. It explains all the damage, criticals, and continuous run speed you’re getting.  Otherwise you should’ve run out of stamina or required a lot more hits to break the HP protection.”

“HP protection? Is that colored bar like thing that appears and blocks the attack?” Sam asks.

“Yeah as long as a mob has HP protection up all your attacks are blocked until it shatters. Once it’s gone you can start hurting the mobs body. Players have the same effect. Unlike other games zero HP just means attacks work like in real life and make wounds. As long as it’s up though you don’t feel pain and don’t get things like broken bones and amputated arms.”

“Not sure I understand. How about I watch you three fight a slime?” Sam does understand she just wants to compare how well she was doing to the three stooges’ abilities.

“I’ll show you my leet urban bow game!” Carrot cheers.

Carrot takes careful aim at a nearby blue slime and misses. The reason for his miss is obvious. Carrot is holding his bow horizontally.

The rest of the party is shocked into silence until Sam finally recovers and asks, “Umm why are you holding the bow that way?”

“It’s my gangsta style archery. I know I miss a lot now. But once the skill comes in I’ll be superstar elf shooter.” At least Sam now knows why Carrot didn’t shoot earlier, he was afraid he would hit her in the back.

Several missed shots latter and one accidently hits the mob. It’s now Potato’s turn to fail. He winds up and then lunges toward the mob. Tripping on his own feet and falling face first into the sewage. As he climbs back to his feet a blue slime gloms on to his head covering everything but his mouth.

“Get it off. Get it off.” Potato screams as he runs around. Quickly Potato realizes the blue slime is now easier to hit and starts stabbing his daggers at his head to hurt the blue slime. Just as quickly Potato learns why it’s a good idea to cut away from oneself as well. Some of the stabs hit the blue slime and some slide off and hit Potato’s head.

Stolen novel; please report.

Each dagger stab that does hit the blue slime causes a very small decrease in its HP bar. A much larger decrease happens when the dagger stabs Potato’s head. Bowl simply watches this calmly and heals Potato once his HP has decreased to half and turns yellow. One heal brings the HP bar back to full and its color turns green again.

“Can you cast buffs as well?” Sam asks.

“No.”

Sam waits a bit to see if Bowl will elaborate but he doesn’t.

“Can you learn buff spells?”

“Yes.” Waiting a bit more proves fruitless.

“Why haven’t you learned them then?”

“Learned healing first. Finished yesterday.”

“Do you at least have another ability or attack?”

“None. Just healing.”

Looking back at the fight Sam sees that the blue slime is finally dead. She also notices that Potato has a couple of arrows sticking out of his back armor as well. Sam realizes she has chosen her group poorly.

“Okay everyone new plan. You.” She points to Carrot. “Will pull mobs. You’ve seen those videos online of thugs walking up to unexpecting bystanders then hitting them in the back of the head? Pretty cool gangster like right?” Carrot nods. “I want you to do that to the slimes then run back here for me to finish them off. Make sure to use the proper punch.”

“What’s the proper punch?” Carrot asks

“Keep your body upright and hold your left arm across your chest as a guard. Then run at your target. When you are in range with an open palm and outstretched right arm rotate your upper body and strike with the palm or forearm.” Sam teaches Carrot a sissy clothes line slap.

“Bangin”

“You.” Pointing at Potato. “Will loot the mobs. Give anything you can’t hold to him.” She points at Bowl. “We’ll divide up everything at the end. You.” Pointing at Bowl. “Heal and see if you can learn some buffs.” Bowl nods.

“How many of these do we need to kill?” She asks Potato.

“It varies, somewhere between 10 and 100 usually.”

An hour and indeterminate amount of exterminated blue slimes later the party exits the sewer.

Walking back into the blacksmiths Sam asks the blacksmith at the counter, “I’ve killed a lot of blue slimes is this enough to complete the quest?”

“Please show me your kill trophies.”

“Did we get anything like that?”

Potato answers, “Yep, there aren’t any quest drop only items in game.  It’s all parts of the monster and all can be used as materials for crafting something. Everyone put the slime goo you have on the counter.”

Several hundred blue slime goo of high quality are placed onto the counter.  Between Potato’s extra item drop abilities and blue slimes naturally dropping one to three per kill it really added up fast. Also Potato only took the highest quality drops.  Even still the entire party had filled up every item slot during the blue slime massacre.

“This… this is fantastic. Never before has a party been so thorough in their work. This deserves something extra!” The blacksmith looks very pleased as he heads to the back to get the rewards.

“Well, well another upgraded quest. Normally people solo this quest and do the minimum let’s see what the upgraded item will be.” Potato comments

Returning the blacksmith hands out four obsidian tablets. “Here, normally I just give out basic magic stone tablets but you four get the limited edition black obsidian magic tablets, the slimesong magic BS7.”

“What is this?” Sam asks.

Potato pulls out a dull grey stone tablet and put it next to the shiny black one then explains, “It’s basically the in game information window. You can use them to see your stats, skills, abilities, and anything else about your character. Also allows you to track quests you’ve accepted.”

After fiddling around with both tablets Potato continues, “And the black tablet also has a monster guide, item guide, people guide, map, notes section, and magic camera analysis spell.”

Potato holds it up and takes a picture of the blue slime goo. Then shows everyone the new blue slime goo entry in the item guide.  He takes several more pictures of different pieces of blue slime goo until the item entry has 100% next to it.  Apparently the first picture of something just lists its name but getting more gives a complete detailed description of the item.

“So what do we do with all this slime goo?” Sam wonders.

“We could sell it at the adventurer’s guild but you get better prices at the specific crafter that uses it. Let’s head to the mage shop next. Also could use it if you’re going alchemist crafting.  But it’s better to hold off on crafting until you can have a steady supply of income to raise the skill.”

Entering the mage shop Sam is unsurprised it looks like a modern bookstore. With a few extra shelves devoted to wands, potions, and other mage related items. Sam leaves the selling and dividing of the gold to Potato and looks around the shop. Opening a random book Sam sees nice modern print describing magic circle construction and uses.

[I wonder if this game has the concept of copyright or information piracy?] Sam starts taking pictures of books. As this is a starter shop only the fundamentals are sold. And of course they have many copies of each book for the large number of low level players. A few moments later Sam has a new section in her tablet, book guide. Which has all the fundamental magic books in magical format. It doesn’t even take up inventory space.