Chapter 4

Flicker

The young noblewoman awoke with a pounding in her head. It was a feeling she was all too used to, and in fact had grown accustomed to as a sign that she was at the very least still alive. That being said, she cussed quietly to herself, rubbing her eyes vigorously with the backs of her hands.

Sitting up made the world swirl, and her head spin. She almost threw up, but managed to hold it back with a great bit of will power. Asu thought to herself how awful it would be to be seen in this state. But then, she thought further, how had she gotten home without someone’s aid? She couldn’t have, she deduced. And then with the sudden realization that hit harder than a hoof to the head, she looked to see a mylian standing in the corner of the room.

He wore a sly smile, his arms crossed as he leaned against her wardrobe. He was wearing the same clothing as the night before, he really had stayed with her all night. It had been the first time anyone had actually done that. She felt her heart flutter, and then faint as she reminded herself of the state in which she was in. Then again, it couldn’t have been a far cry from how she looked the night before.

Wiping away the dribble that had crept onto her face, she blushed. Asu then began to stroke her hair rather quickly, pulling it away from the floor.

“Symbre, I’m surprised to see you.” She said with a clearing of her throat. The mylian kept his smile, and pushed away from the wardrobe, sitting at the end of her bed.

“Your brother insisted, but I was happy to oblige.” A lie. At least the last part was. He had been more than frustrated by the demand, even if he had expected it. He wasn't even able to find what he'd been looking for. Sym watched the sparkle in Asu’s eyes flicker slightly as she realized: he hadn’t stayed by his own fruition.

“Oh dear, my brother must have been crossed.” She put a hand to her forehead, her eyes shut while taking steady breaths to avoid throwing up. Sym wasn’t sure if he should comfort her, or show his slight discontent with intentional uncomfortable silence. He decided it wasn’t worth it.

“He wasn’t pleased, but it seems he has bigger issues at hand, with it being the Gulf-fest.” All the color drained from her face as she heard those words. Swinging her legs over she quickly stood up. But her body wasn’t quite ready, and she instantly began to fall. Sym was quick to snatch her by the waist and gently guide her back to the bed.

“No, you don’t understand, I mustn’t miss this fest!” She protested, and tried once again to stand. Only now she wasn’t met with faintness, but rather several stabbing pains coming from her feet. This time she led herself back to her bed.

She swiftly grabbed her ankle and brought her foot closer to her face. Asu stared at the bandaged wounds as if she had never seen an injury in her life. Her expression as she looked at Sym in disbelief almost made him laugh.

“How did this happen?” She stuttered.

“Oh, right, I should probably change those.” Sym said softly, walking over to a table where fresh bandages were left by Mei Jynna.

“But, how did this happen?” Asu repeated, letting her foot fall back onto the bed. Sym returned to Asu, sitting closely. He began to carefully unravel the dirty bandage. His interpretation of the night before would certainly be much different from Asu's. In fact he could probably make some things up to further embarrass her. But he knew it wouldn’t do him any good to be caught in a lie, and began to apply the new bandages.

“You had a spill, and managed to cut yourself on the vase you broke whilst dancing down the hall.” He held back a grin, knowing it would only see to hurt her feelings. That wouldn’t bode well for him. Sym could see the shock in her eyes as she tried to formulate a response.

“I was drugged, I was made delusional.” She said suddenly, her expression serious.

“That’s a bold accusation, Lady Asu.”

“I never said it was you! But surely I was drugged, surely I was under some influence.” This time he couldn’t hold back his laughter.

“Yes, two wine bottles of influence.” Sym chuckled, finishing wrapping the bandage just as he had seen Mei Jynna do it. He was proud of his job, and smiled to himself. Meanwhile, Asu’s face had turned all manners of red.

“Oh, I didn’t. Did I?” She put a hand to her mouth, trying her best to contain herself.

“It’s quite alright. My mother was tenfold worse, could never tell if I was talking to her or the bottle.” Sym said with a shrug, placing the bandages beside him on the bed. He then swiftly took the dirtied ones and disposed of them. All the while the noblewoman rubbed the area around her wound, shaking her head.

“I’m so incredibly sorry. You found me at a wretched time, you see.” She started, watching as Sym began to blow a candle by the window. Sunrise had been hours ago, and she immediately began to concern herself with the time.

“I was serious, it’s alright. Though, you aren’t exactly charming in that state.” He avoided looking her in the eye, but saw as her head bowed in despair.

“A man I was in deep relations with fled the island without a word, I was in utter disarray.” Given what Sym had heard of the noblewoman, he had a hard time believing she had truly begun to settle with someone. But he kept his mouth shut and simply nodded.

“That is still no excuse, I am aware. I have been trying my best to not seek the comforts of wine for my troubles. The people on this island do a damn good job at making sure I remain the drunken whore in their minds.” She rubbed her arms, head tilted to the windows and soaking in the light. Her words wore heavy on Sym, who knew he couldn’t avoid feeling at least something towards the girl, if not even empathy. She was, in fact, one of the most gorgeous girls he had ever laid his eyes upon. Only, the beauty is shrouded in a layer of terrible self control and distastefulness.

Sym believed everyone should live out their lives as they please, so long as it didn’t harm another. But it was clear that Asu wasn’t foreign to breaking hearts. Or saying things under the influence of drink that would easily drift someone away from her.

He was surprised a woman of such beauty could even harbor such self destructive natures. When he had first laid eyes on her the night before, he thought she was simply trying to fool him for some reason beyond him. But once he approached and sparked a discussion, it became clear it was anything but a practical joke.

"I like to judge people by my own experience with them." Sym said, finding himself standing by her wardrobe once again. He opened it and began to sift through her different dresses. "You have a blue dress I assume?" He added, looking over his shoulder at Asu. She blinked silently for a moment before answering

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"Yes, it should be on the far left. And," She started. "If that's the case, you must think I'm a drunken whore." She looked around her room to see the dress she had worn last night thrown to the floor. For a brief moment she thought she was nude, but looked down to see someone had changed her into her nightgown. She hesitated to ask if Sym had done it, and decided it was best to not ask at all.

"I think you are a complicated woman." He said with a smile as he retrieved the blue dress from the wardrobe. It was long and beautiful, blue vine-like designs fluttering up and around the waist towards the shoulders, and then over the chest. It was rather open at the chest actually, he had noted. It was common for noblewomen, but even this must have been a direct request from Asu to the tailor who made it. He spun around, walking over to her and placing the dress at the end of the bed.

"And I think that I want to help you at the Gulf-fest, I can be your personal cane of sorts." He bowed teasingly, but Asu simply stared.

"I hardly know you, and I remember very few things about you as I was incredibly delusional. Why should you care so much for my well being?" She raised an eyebrow, her suspicion of the nobleman wasn't entirely secretive. He could see it in her eyes when she awoke that Asu had a hard time remembering who he was to begin with. He tried not to let that hurt his feelings, as much as he knew she wasn't his purpose for being there. She was an opportunity.

"Like I said, you seem like a complex woman."

"You said complicated, not complex." She argued.

"Is that not the same thing?"

"I think you know it's not, Symbre."

"I said you could call me Sym, remember?"

"This is my point! I remember very little. I can't even remember your compassion." She leaned up against the backboard, crossing her arms. Sym ran a finger over the designs of the dress, it was beautiful, and no doubt expensive. And he knew once he saw the mylian lady wear the dress, his brain would stutter as if he was a child in the academy seeing his first crush. Ignoring the thoughts, he drew his hand away. That's all he could do, really, just ignore them. No hope in changing them. Remember, opportunity.

"Regardless, you need to be light on your feet. I doubt you want to use crutches, so you can cling to my arm and walk on your heels." He looked back at Asu, who's blushed at the prospect. Usually she was intoxicated when she was in public clinging to a man. Typically at the Gulf-fest she simply wandered alone in hopes to attract men but never accepted their proposals for a dance. And despite her reputation to say no to dances, the same few noblemen never stopped trying, year after year.

"If you insist, though, there is one issue." She spoke softly, though she seemed somewhat unsure. Asu reached the end of her bed, and slowly stood to her feet once again. The pain was minimal, but she knew after hours of walking it would open up a whole new gate of discomfort. But she needed to at the very least make a brief appearance, let people know she was alive and well. Asu had neglected to make many of the other social gatherings throughout the year. People had begun to whisper that the Lonely Virus had struck her, as it was beginning to be called. As most people knew he marriage was nothing but a front for politics.

"Jarvic won't be happy." She finished, wincing as she took careful steps towards the dress. Sym perked up, remembering that she was technically a married woman. It wasn't scandalous by any means for him to have watched over her, as was tradition. But to walk with her through the Gulf-fest, arm in arm, would certainly raise eyebrows.

"He neglected to come home last night, I see." Sym said, grabbing Asu's hand as she struggled to find a place to steady herself. She looked at him briefly, then down at the dress.

"Might I ask you to stand behind the dressing screen? I'd rather not have to have to walk over there." She looked over to the ornate dressing screen sitting at the corner of the room. It had a mural of a pond surrounded by willows, blooming lilies at their feet in the water. Sym nodded and quickly found his way behind it. There was a small stool for him to sit, and so he did, he didn't want her to think he was trying to look over and peep.

"But, as for what you said, Jarvic lives in his manor. He rarely ever visits me. But he will want me to be by his side at the fest, no doubt. So I may have to decline your offer." Asu struggled with dressing herself, usually she'd have the help of a couple maids. But for some reason she didn't feel like calling for them with Sym in her presence. She enjoyed just them in the room.

After a few more moments of struggle, she managed to get the dress on along with her shoes. They did an awfully good job at chafing the sides of her feet, which only added to her perpetual pain. But as Master Ovv had discussed with her, she needed to learn to admit when things were the outcome of her own actions. This most certainly was one of those times.

"I understand, but I really don't want you walking around on those feet until Jarvic comes to see you. Whenever that may be."

"Again, acting as if you truly care for my well being when you don't even know me." She sounded upset. But he wondered where that anger really rooted from, a place of self-hatred? Or was it disgust at his forwardness?

Was he being too forward? He wasn't trying to be. It was becoming harder and harder to tell if he was being flirtatious or simply friendly. But the two weren't in a place where they could say they were friends, but rather the stage in which they were trying to see if there was any romantic energy between them. If not, friends were where they'd start. And perhaps things would blossom from there. Though, for Asu, she felt it often wouldn't.

It is a stage every man and woman go through when they first meet, that is if they find the other suitably attractive. Sometimes it's quick, most often one side coming to a conclusion faster than the other. At least, that's how Sym had felt it went in his life. He could usually see it in another person's eyes when they were tearing him apart, trying to find the love that could be. For Asu though, her eyes displayed a whirlwind of emotions that he couldn't read. It was exciting, and yet equally frustrating. He couldn't tell if she was in love with him, or terribly distrusting of him. Though, she hadn't asked him to leave yet, so that meant something.

"I happen to care a great deal about you." He said cooly, just loud enough for her to hear across the room. There was a pause.

"Why." Asu said, as if it was a statement rather than a question. A denial of his sympathy.

"I have this terrible ailment."

"Ailment?"

"Yes. I become attached rather quickly to those I feel for."

"Sym, I'm married…" She said slowly.

"I mean not in that manner. I simply mean I feel for those who are in terrible places in their lives. Those denied a happy life. Those who I can relate to." He stood, not asking if she had finished dressing before he showed himself. She was elegant. And yet she was a mess, her hair was unbrushed, her makeup smeared across her face, stains from her drool still marking her chin. But even with all of that she was still stunning to the point of catching a breath in his throat. Sym's lips closed slowly as words eluded him.

"You pity me, is that it?" Asu looked offended, turning her head slightly to avoid his eyes.

"I pity not you, but that you have to suffer. Married to a man you detest, shamed by those who don't know you."

"I make no excuses for myself, I am a drunk and I am a…" She paused. That word wasn't right, she wasn't a whore, she just never had met a man who had actually made her feel as if she was truly heard. No one had yet to make her feel…whole…again.

"If you can acknowledge your faults, you can overcome them. It's clear that isn't the person you want to be, and thus it doesn't have to be. Might I suggest something?" Sym stepped forward, lopping his arm through hers and helping her towards the door. She tried to walk on her heels but found it far too difficult. So she resorted to using her tippy toes, which made her almost the same height as Sym. Luckily her dress was long enough that it covered her feet, and people would hopefully not point and whisper as most nobles did.

"What might you suggest?" Asu asked with genuine interest.

"Not a drop of wine or ale today." He smiled, watching Asu's face twist with disbelief. She wanted to feel offended, but knew what it was he was trying to do. She sucked on her teeth and flipped her head away.

"On Gulf-fest? That's like trying to knock a beehive from a tree and expecting not to get stung!"

"Only now we have special suits to not get stung. Think of me as your special suit, huh?" He smiled wider, and Asu couldn't help but chuckle. The two made their way down the hall slowly, passing Lo-eels room. The door was wide open, and the mylian was nowhere to be soon. He was no doubt already out and about, probably trying his best to convince Kyie's father to let him into her chambers to help her prepare for the fest. The Oto'oco was in a few hours, after all.