Ah, a new face! Take a look around, you are sure to find something just perfect for you. Today's feature? This old thing? Its a rather recent submission from a repeat patron. We get so few returning customers.

In the case today is a red letter jacket with blue accents and bright white leather sleeves, truly All-American. Worn by Hunter Stephens during his time in high school, it is positively dripping with history. Hunter was of course the Quarterback, Homecoming King, Student council President, blah blah blah. You get the picture. But what happened to this accomplished young man in the spring of his senior year is today's tale.

***

"Hunter, will you go to prom with me?"

"No, me!"

"I asked first!" The two blonde cheerleader twins almost squared up for a chance to go to the most important dance ever with the most popular boy ever. Buck Hunter Stephens, he'd never forgive his father for naming him something so bad, almost laughed.

"Girls, girls! I'm sorry to say that of course I'm already going with my girlfriend." The dejection sobered the girls immediately.

"But Hunter..." One girl whined.

He shrugged, implying 'them's the breaks' and left them to their woes. He had to get to practice. Football season was over but baseball was in full swing, no pun intended. He was also pitcher of the schools All-state team. Another girl blocked his path ahead. The lone goth girl of their small town stood in the way. She cradled a text book to her chest and clicked her heels together.

"Hunter." She squeaked out.

"Hello, Priscilla." He moved to pass her.

"I heard you're going to prom with Brooke. I know she's your girlfriend but I think you are making a mistake. We could go together." She looked down at her toes, embarrassed.

"Listen P, you know that I think of you like a sister ever since I moved here when we were little, but I am going with Brooke. I know some of the guys on the team think you are cute though if you want me to introduce you." Hunter had avoided Priscilla's advances for the last few years. She was a pretty enough girl to date, but she got into some weird stuff in the last few months and totally changed her look. Dyed her hair black and everything. Priscilla's shoulders drooped and she turned away. "Wait, Priscilla, I'm sorry. If you don't find a date before prom, I'll talk to Brooke and you can come with us."

Hunter walked past his childhood friend and into the gymnasium. He saw his girlfriend on a ladder across the floor, hanging a banner with direction from one of the teachers. He stopped to admire the decorations and let out a small, but manly, yip when he realized there was someone right next to him.

"Holy moly, Samantha, you scared me!" Hunter laughed.

"Sorry, I guess." Samantha was the schools resident genius, quiet and reserved but incredibly smart. She had a habit of just appearing next to people. He thought she must do it on purpose as a joke. She interrupted his train of thought. "I know you are already going with Brooke, but I would be remiss to not put my hat in the ring as an option for date to prom."

Hunter was a little stunned. He didn't know Samantha had any interest in dating. She was perpetually single. The had been a bad rumor that she reproduced asexually but Hunter quashed it. No need to bully people just because they didn't get any.

"Well, you guessed it. I am going with Brooke. To be honest, I didn't know you had any interest in me." He tried to smile. Samantha just regarded him blankly.

"I'm not interested, but my friend told me to ask you." The corner of her mouth quirked in the slightest hint of a smile.

"Oh, ha ha. Very funny. I have to get to practice, but I'll see you tomorrow in calculus." He started jogging to the locker rooms when the teacher overseeing the decoration stopped him. Alex Dailor, or now 'Miss' Dailor, was the new anatomy teacher. She had been a senior when Hunter was a freshman. The joke around school was that of course she taught anatomy, her's was perfect. She looked like a model or an actress but chose teaching instead. It was her first year as a teacher.

"Hunter, a minute." He stopped and waited for the teacher to speak. "I understand that you and Brooke are going to prom. I just wanted to let you know, I will be chaperoning." Hunter thought Miss Dailor was warning him not to get too frisky. "If she stands you up, I'll be around all night. I know you just turned 18."

The narrative has been illicitly obtained; should you discover it on Amazon, report the violation.

Hunter backed away slowly. What the heck was going on? It was like every girl was suddenly drawn to him.

"Uh, thanks Miss Dailor, but I already have a back-up plan if Brook gets sick." Hunter meant Priscilla.

"Of course you do." The older woman practically undressed him with his eyes.

"I have to get to practice." Hunter said and ran away from the super awkward interaction.

In the locker room, finally away from all the crazy girls, Hunter changed into his practice uniform. He was about to put his jersey on when his friend Chad walked in.

"Hey, buddy!" Chad said. "You look confused. What's up?"

"Dude, I think Alex Dailor just tried to hit on me." Hunter said picking at a string at the end of the shirt. "It was weird. She's a teacher now. Plus, like every other girl has asked me to go with them today."

"Weird how? She's bangin' and with abs like that, I get it." Chad said and moved closer. Hunter flinched and backed into the lockers making a loud clang.

"What the hell, man? What are you doing?" Hunter was getting uncomfortable. Chad was his best friend, why was he acting like this.

"Screw those bitches. Go to prom with me. It will really shake up the school." He was serious. Hunter quickly put on his jersey.

"One problem Chad, we aren't gay."

"Says you." Chad blew Hunter a kiss and walked out of the locker room. Hunter sat on a bench in stunned silence until his coach came looking for him.

"Hunter! Get you ass out on the field! You're gonna be running laps until dark if you're still in here after I count to one!" He jumped up, grabbed his glove and ran out to the pitcher net to practice his curve ball.

***

Hunter hadn't noticed his team slowly filing off the field. Nor had he noticed the sun dipping past the horizon and the stadium lights come on. His curve was almost perfect.

"Hunter, I'm ready." A familiar voice called out from behind him. He had forgotten he was Brooke's ride home. He threw another pitch and was satisfied.

"Hey, babe. Hope you weren't waiting long." Hunter turned around to face his girlfriend. She stood before him in nothing but her underwear. "Brooke, what the hell?! We could get caught!" She closed the gap far too quickly and put her hand up his jersey and ran her nails down his chest. He winced in pain and pulled her hand away. "What the fuck? That hurt."

Brooke lifted her hand into the light and he saw that her fingers were dripping blood. He looked down and saw his jersey with bloody streaks soaking through. She licked a finger clean and smiled at him. Her incisors slid down, elongating into fangs. Hunter recoiled and tried to run away but she caught him. She wrapped her clean hand around his throat and lifted him off his feet. She licked another finger.

"Put him down, you bitch!" Priscilla came running out of nowhere, waving her hands in elaborate circles. With a snap and loud whoosh, a fiery hand swatted Brooke away. She dropped Hunter, who fell to his knees coughing. "Brooke is a vampire, Hunter!" Hunter looked Priscilla in confusion.

"But you're?" He coughed again.

"A witch. Deal with it. I'm here to save you." She raised her hands to cast another spell at the imminent vampire threat then started screaming in agony. Hands erupted out of her chest and throat, tearing her apart. Chad stood in the gore of Priscilla, little horns on his forehead.

"Hey there, lover boy." Chad turned his gaze to Brooke, who promptly exploded in a fountain of viscera.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?!" Hunter screamed.

"Oh, baby, its a regular Ron Howard movie around here for us monsters. Think Ferris Bueller with a side of Better Off Dead. Oh, you are positively scrumptious. I can't wait to watch you give birth to my little incu-babies." Chad gave Hunter a quick little pinch on the cheek.

"In the name of God, I banish you to Hell for all eternity!" A new voice invoked.

Chad burst into bright white flames and screamed in pain and fury. Miss Dailor walked out of the shadows in a weird mix of nun habit and dominatrix costume. She slammed her bible shut, pleased with the impromptu exorcism. She winked at Hunter. Before she could speak a massive hand grabbed her head and slammed her into the ground repeatedly. A gorilla with a man's head and horse body crawled forward and began eating the remains of Miss Dailor.

Hunter noticed movement to his right and Samantha jump scared him again. Wielding a laptop, she input a command and the monster stopped stuffing its face with the dead teacher's shapely rear end.

"What, my family's name in the old country is Frankenstein. Isn't it obvious?" She said matter of factly. Hunter threw up. He started weeping. He couldn't believe what was happening. He couldn't take much more. Samantha knelt next to him and shushed him while stroking his hair.

"I know it's a lot to take in. Small town's are weird. You just happened to move to the weirdest small town in the world when you were a kid. This town is full of monsters."

"Can you do something about your creature?" Hunter asked after a long while. Samantha tapped away at her keyboard and the monster's eyes closed, entering sleep mode.

"So, as you can probably gather, spring time is very intense here. All the monster's come of age and with puberty and hormones... Well, you get the idea. I took out the twins before I even got to the stadium, it's why I was late getting here. But, it looks like I win." Samantha lifted Hunter's chin and kissed him.

"Will that thing go crazy if we get caught up in the moment?" Hunter pulled away and asked shakily.

"Nope, it's just you and me." Samantha smiled devilishly.

"Take the shot." Hunter called out. Samantha's head exploded. A team in red fatigues rushed the baseball field. A man and a woman strode in behind them wearing high collared white lab coats.

"Cutting it kind of close there, aren't you son?" The male figure said.

"Yeah, dad, I wanted to make sure that chimera didn't have a kill switch before the snipers got her." Hunter got up lithely and dusted himself off as best he could. There were bits of intestine in his hair.

"Oh, honey, it was perfect. Nothing ever quite compares to your first monster hunt. And with this town being such a big hive, its just so impressive. We're so proud."

***

A monster for the monsters, eh? Also, a monster hunter named Hunter is a little on the nose as well.

Oh, well. Mister Stephens brings us so many good pieces to feature, and if left unchecked the monster population will just get out of control. Its the same basic principal as deer hunting. Human season is almost here. I am going to miss out again this year, do to work. I have so many more stories to tell. Until next time.