*Poof!*
“Wow! Aren't you a cutie!”
My body felt light, and I felt dizzy. Everything was swaying as I opened my eyes and the ground rushed to my face.
“Oof! I guess this all is pretty difficult for you, huh? Well let me just help you out.”
A big hand scooped me up and I felt my whole body cradled like a baby.
“Well I guess you need a name, little baby boi. From now on, you are Croissant! Do you like that?”
A screen popped up in my blurred vision, but it was crystal clear.
[Hello new user! You have been given the name
[YES] [NO]
I blinked several times but I felt drunk and the screen would not go away.
“Oh no, I guess you're a bit of a dummy? That's okay. If you don't understand, you can just let me.”
A dot appeared on the blue screen and selected [YES].
[Congratulations! Your name has been confirmed by your master as
The dot appeared again and the blue screen went away.
Feeling my head clear slightly, my vision swayed back and forth and slowly came into focus. I saw above me what looked like a blue monkey looking back at me with big blue eyes.
“Things clearing up for you little puffy Croissanty boi? My little chunky muffin? I know you are going to be such a good little worker for me with those big chubby cheeks of yours.”
A finger came down and booped my nose. I recoiled at the sudden touch and I was shaken by the monkey's laughter, my whole body bouncing lightly and shaking me from my fogged mind. I suddenly felt less confused and as I bounced up and down in the crazy giant blue monkeys arms and its teeth glistened and the world shook around me, I panicked.
I need to get away! What the fuck is going on?! Where am I?! Who and what the fuck is this thing?! Holy shit, holy shit, holy shit!
I scrambled and kicked and bucked my body and eventually got out of the monkey's grasp. Falling to the ground I found myself unable to stand. I settled for crawling and suddenly I was on all 4s and bolting away from the monkey.
“Hey! It's okay Croissant! No need to run!”
I heard the voice behind me as I ran straight into a wall.
“I'm not going to hurt you. Silly little guy.”
I was on the floor again and now i was back to being dizzy. I sat up, looked around, and on all 4s made it behind what little excuse for shelter I could find from the giant crazy blue monkey.
“You can't run away little guy. The room is closed. I wouldn't summon you here just to let you run away.”
My heart was beating so hard and fast It almost felt like It was about to break me apart but I held stock still and as silent as I could.
None of this makes sense. What the fuck is happening? I need to think straight and figured out what is going on! No, I need to get out of here and to somewhere safe!
“Sh sh sh, it's okay.” The monkey's voice came to me, trying to cajole me from my tiny spec of safety.
“Here, I'll just wait right here. When you're ready to talk, just come out and say hello, okay?”
Then nothing. I sat and felt my heart beating for a little while longer before it started to slow. The quiet, and the small space was just enough to make me feel not in imminent danger. I laid down and for the first time, as my breaths started coming in more slowly and evenly, I saw my hands.
Oh what the ever loving fuck..
I lifted one to my face. Orange. Fluffy, but with feathers instead of hairs. Red and white stipes running through the orange leading to a paw that was all white. I flipped it over and there were paw pads. I clenched and claws poked out.
“Huh” I said. I didn't have any words to describe the mixture of fascination and horror I felt seeing my body not what I expected it to be.
Ensure your favorite authors get the support they deserve. Read this novel on Royal Road.
Body dysphoria? That's a thing right?
I watched the claws pop in and out several times as I clenched and unclenched the paw.
I put the paw down. Sitting and starting for several minutes in a stupor, I let my mind go blank.
“Huh.” I said again. The only thing my mind could produce.
“You okay back there?” came the voice of the monkey. It sounded mildly concerned.
I sat and continued to stare blankly.
A talking monkey is concerned about me, and I have orange paws instead of hands. I thought to myself.
What an absurd situation. Maybe I'm dreaming? Yeah. Maybe that.
“If it helps any, my name is junior disciple Lily of the Flaming Moon sect. I mean you no harm. In fact I kind of brought you back from the dead! You can thank me later but you were just a spirit before I did the summoning ritual. A disembodied mass of spiritual energy floating in the void slowly decaying into nothingness. I saved you from that fate and summoned you here! Pretty great of me if you ask me.”
Well…that didn't exactly help. I thought to myself, feeling less stunned now and making my way back to confused.
“Sorry but…what?” I finally made out, my voice I now noticed was small and high pitched.
Huh, there's the dysphoria again.
“Come out and I promise not to get closer to you. Let's talk! We're going to be seeing a lot of each other from now on after all. I'll answer all your questions.”
I stared at the wall. I looked down at the paws. Back to the wall. A few moments of silence.
“Okay. I'm coming out I guess. Um. Please, just don't, I don't know, do anything, okay?”
“Yes! I'll sit right here and not get any closer to you.”
Taking a deep breath, I walked to the edge of the box and peaked out. There it was. The giant blue monkey thing, sitting calmly alone in a stone and wood room. Few pieces of furniture decorated the room but many small items cluttered the space. Some looked like weapons, others were various plants, and the rest unidentifiable. The monkey sat still, staring at me as I took its measure. It didn't seem to be doing anything crazy.
Okay, maybe I can trust this thing just a little?
I stepped all the way out and sat my butt down, continuing the staring match.
“So um… you're a giant blue monkey…”
“And you're an adorable little orange cat!”
A cat?
I looked down at myself again. I was sitting with my butt down, legs squatting at my sides, and arms down in front of my chest to the ground. Like a cat would sit. And what do you know? My whole body looked pretty much like a damn cat's…
“Huh”
“Yeeaahhh, I've been told this all can be pretty disorienting. Let me give you the basics. I am your master, Lily, Junior Outer Disciple of the Flaming Moon Sect. I was recently admitted to the sect and after several months of hard work, have been given the chance to summon my first familiar! That's you. That makes me your master and friend! I hope we get along great!”
She said all of this as I continued to stare at what was apparently my body.
“Uh huh, and why am I a cat? Last I checked I was human…”
“OH well I had to put your spirit into something right? Can't have you wandering around as a disembodied spirit! Then you'd just get eaten up by the first hungry spirit critter to spot you! And I like cats. But oh how marvelous you look now that you have a proper spirit! Really makes your fur pop! And what's a human?”
I looked down at the brightly colored fur, almost seeming to glow red in the dim lighting of the room.
“Riiiiight…I have no idea what any of that meant.”
“What do you mean? Have you never heard of a familiar before? Where have you been living? A swamp? Everyone within sect territory should know the basics of this stuff, and I found your spirit not too far off.”
I looked back up at the giant crazy talking blue monkey person.
“No.”
“No, what?”
“NO I HAVE NO FUCKING CLUE WHAT THE FUCK YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT OR WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON!”
Silence…
“Well.. no need to shout… I did you a favor after all. Everyone knows being a familiar is far better than non-existence. It's not a bad deal after all! Sure you have to work for someone else but you get another chance at life! And as such a cute little animal too!”
“Sorry but none of this makes any sense. Did I go crazy? Did I work too much overtime again and now I'm hallucinating and just talking to myself? Or maybe you're a doctor and I'm just babbling nonsense to you as I sit in a psych ward?”
“Now I don't know what you're talking about. You were a spirit floating nearby in the void and I rescued you and gave you a new body. You still haven't thanked me by the way.”
I could feel the sincerity of the monkey person's irritation building as we talked, the clarity and detail of their face, and felt that if this was a dream of some kind, I was truly impressed with my own brain's ability to make realistic looking and sounding shit out of utterly absurd ideas.
I looked down again at my body, covered In orange red and white fur/feather stuff and watched as the ends of each bit of fluff slowly swayed and blurred together with its neighbors creating a hypnotic pattern.
“Hey! Listen to me!” The monkey shouted as she slapped the ground. My eyes leapt to them and I stared in fear.
“Good! Now it's fine if you're not gonna thank me or whatever but I don't have all day for this. I've got classes and chores and such to get to. I was hoping we could be friends! So what do you say?”
The monkey held out a hand to me and I stood still, still petrified by the monkey's shouting. As we both sat there, the monkey’s expression started to shift from enthusiastic to sad and confused.
Oh no. I don't think making this thing upset with me is a good idea. Whatever the fuck is going on, it seems to want to be friends so I should just play along I think…
With great effort, I pushed through my instinctual fear and lifted a hand to meet theirs. They touched and a blue screen appeared before me again.
[Your relationship with
The more I see the more questions I have…
I watched as a dot appeared on the screens again and closed them.
“You really are slow Croissant. Gotta get through those notifications fast or they could waste your whole day reading then sometimes. I recommend just ignoring them and closing them out.”
Lily stood, towering above me and went to pick me up again. Horrified, I tried to run but was scooped up before I could even stand.
“Gotcha! Join me as I go to classes? See you'll even get a free education and stuff! Isn't that great?”
They held me to their chest tight enough so I couldn't escape as they started toward the door.