A year passed as years were wont to do, and Riku was in a small residence in the northern half of Kyoto with its only distinctive feature being its nameplate that read not a family name but “Anti-Arrogant Young Master Association.” He was sitting in front of a coffee table, opposite a young woman. Tea was placed before the two of them, brewed by Riku himself out of the finest instant tea he found at the local supermarket. It wasn’t like Riku cared too much about anything besides his waifus, nor could he tell the difference between instant tea and the spirit tea his grandmother brewed, so he just didn’t bother.
It would be quite a normal guest reception if not for the fact that both participants were wearing shady black cloaks that enveloped their faces in shadows, creating a surreal contrast to the bright, sunlit living room.
Riku took a sip of his tea. It was bitter, and he preferred cola. but chugging a can of pop didn’t make you look cool. “Hello. As you mentioned in your email, you would like to join our organization. Is that correct?”
“Yes,” the lady furiously nodded. “I’ve heard a lot about the Anti-Arrogant Young Master Association, and I’m really impressed with all the feats that your organization has done. In particular, I thought that the attack ad against the Asagahara clan was amazing. I heard their company’s stock value nearly halved the next day.”
She was referring to an exposé advertisement featuring footage of the Asagahara Corp CEO attempting to rape a woman and nearly succeeding, and rape victims of the very same CEO tearfully advertising the company’s contraception products. The tagline, “The Best After-Rape Pills” would flash across at the end.
“Ah yes, that one,” Riku replied, “Yes, that was planned almost entirely by our vice-leader herself.”
“I also really like all the things your group does to support domestic abuse victims of all genders. As someone on the LGBTQ+ spectrum, I appreciate that your group helps people that others often marginalize.”
Riku nodded. “Ah yes, that’s another initiative by our vice-leader. Our association was founded to bring justice to those who escape it, and social stigma makes it hard for anybody to speak out for themselves when they’re in an abusive relationship, thus letting a criminal escape justice. Despite our organization’s name, we believe we have an obligation to support the cause. And of course, all genders can be victims of abuse. We know this and accept everyone.”
“Wow, the vice-leader is pretty amazing. What about the leader? What are they behind?”
Riku, the leader of the association, thought back to the past year. He remembered the heated meetings in the basement of the very building the two were currently in.
Riku would, in the middle of an argument between two members, stand up, flourish his cloak, and coolly dump a mountain of spirit stones onto a table. “No need to worry about the budget,” he would say.
And when discussion was coming to a lull, with no good ideas passing by, he would stand up, flourish his cloak, and coolly dump a mountain of spirit stones onto a table. “No need to worry about the budget,” he would say.
And when the question of legality was being presented… he would stand up, flourish his cloak, coolly dump a mountain of spirit stones onto a table and say “No need to worry about the budget.”
Beads of cold sweat dripped down his forehead. Riku couldn’t remember doing anything other than dumping money on a table. There were also the times where he acted as a combatant, but well, anyone could do that. Every single major plan was done by the vice-leader, starting with the VR molester conversion therapy at the group’s inception.
He was reminded of a character from a certain sci-fi samurai comedy anime, the gorilla-like leader of the Shinsengumi. Was he becoming a clueless leader who exchanged all his brains for brawn and relied on his vice-leader for everything? Would he fall in love with the first person who didn’t mind his hairy ass?
For the record, Riku’s ass hairs had just begun growing.
At least the gorilla leader had more than one line. Riku’s role just seemed to be saying a cheesy one-liner and making up numbers in fight scenes. Perhaps it was time to remove Riku from the main character position, as useless as he was.
The novel would be called “Molesters Just You Wait; Capturing You Is My Fate!” featuring an ordinary girl from an affluent family whose only striking feature was her nice voice. But at night, she was the Grim Reaper of Molesters, the vice-leader of the Anti-Arrogant Young Master Association.
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The first chapter would be about her demolishing the hopes and dreams of the wannabe main character Wang Xia. The second chapter would be about her demolishing the hopes and dreams of a certain perverted young master from the Shinosaki family who used his clan’s influence to force a marriage on a poor, innocent girl.
And maybe by changing main characters into someone less frivolous, the narration would stop sidetracking into stuff like how failing an ascension in cultivation realms would cause one to fart excessively or some random side story of John the Molester King. Yes, there would also be no mention of swapping main characters to some random pervert weeb.
In any case, while the narrator was making anime references, Riku managed to eek out a response to the lady’s question.
“Ah, yes, the leader. Yes, our leader does not do anything flashy; however, he is very instrumental in our internal affairs, and without his help, none of the vice-leader’s plans could be achieved.”
It was certainly true that without any money to spend, none of the vice-leader’s impactful ideas could even be considered; almost nothing could be done without money in today’s capitalist society. In that sense, Riku, as the main source of funding for the association, was more important than the vice-leader. That line of reasoning might’ve been fair if not for the fact that Riku was absolutely not rich due to any merit of his own and still deserved to be called a useless main character.
“I see. If not for all the people who work behind-the-scenes, our society could not function.” The lady paused before changing the subject, “I am aware of the close-knit nature of the Anti-Arrogant Young Master Association and know the standards for acceptance are high.”
It wasn’t that the group had high standards, but one had to be very justice-minded to decide to join a semi-legal group that was wanted dead by many powerful people in many different countries just to save a few people. And anyone without a good head would be captured and possibly killed on the first mission they tried, so Riku couldn’t accept them.
Unfortunately, the Venn diagram of “wannabe heroes” and “intelligent people” were two separate circles.
It wasn’t that Riku’s standards were particularly high, but more like nobody qualified would apply.
Riku decided not to mention this, however, and just nodded in pretend agreement.
The lady continued, “However, I believe I would make a good fit. The group’s feats clearly require a large amount of funds to complete, but the only source of money the public is aware of is cryptocurrency donations, which certainly cannot amount to the millions the group’s projects require. As the daughter of the CEO of a major corporation, I have the ability to finance a large portion of the group’s budget.”
Riku internally cursed. Paying the budget was his role, dammit. How dare some random lady try to steal his only redeeming feature from him!
“A daughter of a large corporation?” Riku asked, “That’s not something you see everyday. I did mention to bring an ID in the email. Can you show it now?”
The lady nodded, taking out her driver’s license. “Here.”
Riku took the card, giving it a cursory glance. She was a beautiful Japanese lady with the name of Kumochi Shito, which gave Riku a strange feeling of familiarity. Of course, he was very well aware of the Kumochi clan; he used many of their products in his daily life, but that didn’t mean that he knew anyone in the family besides the CEO.
“Can you take off your hood and touch this talisman? It’ll dispel all illusion-creating items or formations; I have to make sure you are who you say you are.” Riku took a talisman, a smooth white slip of paper with Chinese characters painted out in strange patterns, out of his storage ring and pushed it across the table.
“Alright,” she nodded once again and pressed her right hand over the talisman, taking off her hood with her left.
Riku took a look at her face; it certainly did match the ID.
"Alright, you look fine. Ah, besides for me, you shouldn't reveal yourself. We keep all our identities secret, and only a member's recruiter would be aware of it. It's even said that the leader doesn't even know the Vice-Leader's name or appearance."
A second after he finished speaking, he realized where he heard the name “Shito” before. It was the given name of the fifth son of the Kumochi clan’s main branch.
“Sorry if this question confuses you, but exactly how many Shitos are in your clan?”
First there was the molester boy with the name of Shito and then came a pretty lady also with the name of Shito. Riku could only wonder what kind of attachment the Kumochi clan had with the name Shito. He didn’t even think it was a particularly good name. It was rather shit-o.
The lady replied, “There’s only one Shito in my clan. What about it?”
“Huh?” Riku’s eyebrows subconsciously rose underneath his hood. “Has anyone in your clan passed away recently? Or changed their name?”
“None that I’m aware of.”
“Hold on, I’m going to check something.” Riku moved to the kitchen and took out his phone. Opening a browser, he typed “Kumochi Shito” into the search bar.
A moment later, a wiki entry popped up. He tapped it.
“Kumochi Shito (雲地史登) is the youngest of the five children of Kumochi Hisato (雲地久登). She is a trans woman famous for her sizable donations to various LGBTQ+ and sexual harassment support groups…”
Riku’s jaw dropped, and a single word escaped from his open mouth. “What.”