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Cultivating Mass
Chapter 14: Exploring the Primordial Gray

Chapter 14: Exploring the Primordial Gray

Floating within the barely defined, a glowing green boy with bushy hair and emerald eyes drifted in an aimless direction.

Just before his death, this boy escaped his body, becoming a spiritual-like being. Afterward, he passed through a pair of curtains to enter this strange place. However, the moment he stepped into the billowing gray, he lost his eyesight and his memories from when he was alive. Blind and unconscious, he was swept away by a stream of gray, leaving the curtains and his previous life behind him.

Time passed; a year went by, and the boy's vision improved. He could now vaguely discern the different shades of gray in his surroundings and his thoughts progressed closer to being coherent.

A decade passed, and the boy remembered his name: Ged. He observed the smoky surroundings, seeing the swirling gray spirals of the smoke. He remembered how he died and his final moments falling from the arena platform

Time passed once more, and a century went by. Ged's vision had improved beyond what it had been in life. Within the dusty gray clouds, he could now perceive the outlines for strings about, each tinted with a hint of color, either red or green. Ged watched inquisitively as the smoke danced around him. When a green and red particle intersected, it vanished from his sight, disappearing entirely.

Ged's mind was sharp; he could now reflect on memories he didn't even realize he had and replay moments from his life that he would have barely remembered otherwise. However, even with his sharp mind, strangely, he couldn't recall what his life was like before he turned seven.

He reminisced about the past.

He thought about his life in the orphanage, recalling how happy he felt surrounded by plenty of toys and other children his age. It seemed like paradise, but with his sharper mind, he realized it wasn't as great as he initially remembered. He saw Brit, the older of the two, shouldering their responsibilities for finding a new home. He observed the adults of the orphanage, who cared more about moving kids to new or existing homes than ensuring their stability.

He remembered the approval to work on the farms, the relief and happiness in Brit's eyes contrasting his own downtrodden spirit. Arriving at the farm he saw how dull and monotonous his days were. Waking up at six every morning, he prepared breakfast and then worked tirelessly until he collapsed into sleep. The farm owner's strange face lingered in his mind, a smile that seemed to connect his mouth to his eyes. What he didn't notice initially was the change in his sister. At night she no longer slept; during the day, she hid herself from sight. Ged saw those things and remained oblivious that she was suffering. Looking back with a clearer mind, he could see the abuse his sister faced and her desperate yearning for control, comfort, and freedom from fear.

He recalled the change in his sister once they left for Ross' farm. Ross was strict yet kind, who helped with cooking meals and with chores. It was the closest thing to a true family Ged and Brit had experienced in their lives. He saw his sister's smile and Ross's energetic focus with his chores, and he saw his scolding when Ged made mistakes. With his sharpened mind, Ged now noticed the anguish hidden deep within Ross; his subtle desperation to hide from his past.

Ged felt nostalgic. Now that his memories were back, he longed to return home. However, bound by this strange river of gray, he begrudgingly continued on.

Time passed once more, and a millennium went by. Ged's vision had sharpened, enabling him to discern the peculiar, string-like objects in greater detail. He observed closely as a green and red string danced, gradually converging. Two arm-like lumps could be seen coming from the green string, advancing toward the red string. Upon contact, the red string shifted slightly forward before both the red and green strings disappeared entirely.

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Studying the particles, Ged had an epiphany; the motion of the strings resembled that of a bench press. Except this motion seemed to contain the purest essence of the workout, utilizing the most optimal form for the lift. Attempting to replicate the motion he had observed, Ged tried to set up his arms in the same position, but he couldn't get them in the same strange position as the green string when he pushed against the red.

With his sharpened mind, he attempted to devise a solution, considering various perspectives and outcomes, but found no answers. His mind became overloaded with the information of his life and his surroundings. A painful stabbing sensation began to surface

Time passed, and a million years went by.

Ged was in agonizing pain. His eyes perceived particles with near 360-degree vision, and his memories contained the sounds of grass and the surfaces of atoms. The space around him transformed; the once-gray abyss now resembled a forest of trees. In his anguished state, he rose from the forest floor and sprinted through the trees, hoping to find relief. Strangely, he felt the grass and bushes cut at his skin as he moved through them as he felt pain for the first time since coming here. After pushing through dense underbrush, he tripped and fell onto the dirt floor of a clearing.

Ged clutched his head in agony, writhing on the ground. Finally, he looked up for the first time to see what awaited him at the center of the clearing.

There, he encountered a tree that seemed to defy the laws of physics. It had a small, twig-like trunk with gnarled branches twisting and turning skyward, seemingly extending endlessly. These fractal-like branches cast eerie shadows, denying even the slightest bit of light.

Ged looked up at the tree, but even with his sharpened mind, he couldn't see its end or the full mysteries contained within. However, he found that gazing at the complex pattern dulled his mind and restored his sanity.

Sitting down on the dirt floor, he studied the tree with great relief.

Suddenly, one of the dark shadows moved, and Ged shifted his gaze to one of the branches as a small silhouette emerged from its shadow.

Ged squinted to see what appeared to be a small beaver, its fur a deep mystical shade of brown, with a touch of blue. It stared at Ged with eyes that carried the wisdom of one who had seen the secrets of the universe.

"Human immortal, you must be quite lost for you to stare so longingly at the Tree of Mysteries," the beaver spoke, his voice carrying an otherworldly volume.

"For such a thing to exist in this never-ending abyss, I wasn't sure if I would ever think clearly again," Ged replied, his eyes teary.

Puzzled by the beaver's use of the word 'immortal,' he asked, "Strange blue beaver, how do you know me to be immortal? I don't want to live forever. I've been searching for a way to return to reality."

"Stupid human, it is too obvious you are someone's ambition. Only an immortal wanderer would feel relief looking at these branches." The beaver gave out a sharp laugh. "You want to return to reality?"

The beaver had a strange smirk. "You deserve your fate. Enjoy your time as you suffer assimilating with eternity."

Ged furrowed his brow at the beavers attitude and extremely cryptic response. "What? Ambition? Am I not human? What do you mean assimilate with all of creation? Why would I feel relief looking at those branches? Assimilating with eternity?" Ged had way too many questions.

The beaver sighed and became slightly annoyed, "Toddler. I'm not some human sage here to coddle you with answers."

Ged stared blankly, speechless over the beaver's words.

The beaver shook his head, "You humans are all alike. Always with your questions and never helping provide your perspectives. Is there not a redeemable quality hidden deep within any of your species skin?"

Ged thought carefully about his response. "I wish I didn't have so many questions. This place is too strange. Perhaps we got off on the wrong foot, my name is Ged."

"Ged?" The beaver shivered at his own words, "What a terrifying name."

"For what to call me..." The beaver shuffled his tail in thought. "Those in the greater unknown do not refer to me using a mere name, but since you are just a fledgling, you start by calling me Manduka."

"Manduka. I have a lot of questions, which I hope you will answer. But I don't want to be unfair to you, how can we make this exchange?" Ged asked the stubborn beaver.

The beaver hopped down from the branches. "You want answers to questions, and I want deeper perspectives on life." Then a black and white chessboard appeared between the two of them with glowing colored orbs for game pieces.

"Why don't we play a few rounds" The beaver became excited.