The theme song started. This time it was a lively polka.

Nate came into view. He was walking backwards and swinging a flyswatter like a sword.

“Back, back you beast,” he swung so hard that he stumbled.

“Kumquat mosquitoes,” he regained his balance and took another swing. “Such a pain in the peach.”

He continued walking backward, swinging away until he was out of view. A minute later he ran back into view holding a massive can of bug spray. It was four feet tall and Nate had both arms wrapped around it to carry it.

“I’ve got you now!” Nate dropped the can and pushed the trigger with both hands.

The room quickly filled with smoke until it was all you could see.

Nate coughed, and a loud buzzing filled the room.

“Roasted bananas,” Nate called out. A slapping noise came from his direction. Then several more. After a second of silence, the sound of running footsteps quickly faded into the distance.

The theme song ended, and the fog cleared up.

A book fell from the sky and opened to a blank page. A quill appeared and started writing.

Rule 14 - If a Word War is declined, both parties must wait 14 days before challenging each other again.

A bird came, grabbed the book and flew away with it.

The scene changed to the cafeteria.

Nate was facing Bear, the table was silent.

“No,” Nate shook his head. “You know deep down that we both deserve to be here. Nothing would get accomplished by fighting each other. Would your roommates have wanted you to risk your position in the contest over a moment of anger? Or maybe you have survivor’s guilt at being the only one who passed. Whatever it is, you can work through it and still compete. Make your roommates proud.”

“Nice speech,” Bear scoffed. “If I wanted psycho babble I would talk to a therapist. I’ll be back in two weeks.”

He turned and walked away.

“If you refuse a challenge, both people have to wait two weeks before challenging each other again,” Stacy whispered in Nate’s ear before he could ask.

“I hope he doesn’t become a thorn in your side,” Luke sat back down.

Everyone at the table nodded their agreement, then went back to eating.

Just as they were clearing the table Luke’s phone started beeping.

“Sweet, I have mail,” He checked his phone and then put it away.

Luke led the group to the mail room, stopping to grab his badge first. Along the way, they passed through several areas Nate had not seen yet. He was starting to feel the immense size of the ship he was on.

They got to the mail room. It was a small room with a simple wood counter. A middle-aged man was behind the counter. He had bushy white hair and a large white mustache.

“What can I do for you?” His voice was deep and velvety. It was soothing, and Nate closed his eyes and let it wash over him. He wasn’t the only one.

“I’m here to get some mail, please,” Luke handed over his badge.

“Ah, let’s see what we have for you today.” He scanned Luke’s badge with a phone, checked the screen and then vanished through a small door behind the counter.

He emerged a few minutes later with a couple of envelopes and a box the size of a microwave on its side. There were several straw-sized holes poked through the top of it, and UP was printed in large letters on the side, with an arrow pointing up.

“Thanks, mate,” Luke picked up the box with ease, and read the tag.

“It’s a birthday gift from my uncle,” Luke’s expression changed. His eyes widened, and a mischievous grin formed. “He works at Nontendi, a popular video game company. He gives great gifts.”

They headed to the cat cafe so that Nancy wouldn’t be excluded.

“My, what a big box you have,” Kat greeted them at the door.

“All the better to open it,” Luke fumbled for a reply.

Kat laughed and helped them arrange the tables. She went to find a pair of scissors for him, then stood off to the side to watch.

“Thanks,” Luke took the scissors and carefully cut open the box.

“What do you think it is?” Alice was bouncing in her seat. “There are air holes, do you think it’s a cat?”

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Scotty jumped up on the table at the mention of another cat and hissed at the box.

“Calm down,” Luke had finished cutting the tape and was about to open the box when it started shaking.

Scotty hissed again, his fur standing on end.

“There, there,” Jaz picked up Scotty and started stroking him.

Meanwhile, the box had stopped moving, and Luke carefully prodded the box with the scissors. When nothing happened, he lifted the flaps and peered inside.

“Why it’s just a plant,” Luke fully opened the box and took out a plant.

It had a bulbous flower, you could almost call it a head. It definitely had a mouth with teeth. It was definitely not red and had black spots.

Oh come on, just pick a colour! Nate shot at the author

Nate felt a sigh reverberate through his skull. The plant started flashing through a rainbow of colours before settling on white. As if it had been drained of colour completely. The black spots stood out in stark contrast.

The now white head leaned back and shot a small ball of fire into the air. The fireball flew up a few feet, hung in the air, then fell back down to the waiting mouth of the flower.

Scotty jumped from Jaz’s arms onto the table to try and swat at the fireball as it fell.

Jaz picked up Scotty and handed him to Kat. “Don’t want the little guy getting toasted.”

“I wonder what it eats?” Alice poked a breadstick at the plant. The plant bit off a chunk and then spit it out.

“Plumbers?” Nate said, unable to hold back the laughter.

Nate laughed for several minutes before noticing that nobody else was laughing. They were all looking at him with concern.

“You know, from the…” Nate trailed off, he knew it was pointless. That game didn’t exist in this world.

“Look, there’s a manual,” Dave had pulled the box over to him and was rummaging through it. He held the manual out to the table, to see if anyone volunteered to take it.

“Let’s see,” Jaz took it from him and started flipping through the pages.

“It’s not a carnivore. It needs special fertilizer though.”

“I bet,” Dave laughed. “Probably needs sulphur instead of nitrogen.”

Again, nobody else laughed and Dave lowered his head in shame.

“It says here it only needs to be fertilized once a year,” Stacy was deep in the pages. “Oh, we’re going to have to watch Wilbur around this plant.”

Nancy took the empty box over to the counter while the rest of the group was still entranced by the plant.

“What are you going to name it?” Stacy cautiously stroked a leaf.

The plant’s head tilted to one side, and it let out a content sigh.

“Rex,” Luke’s answer was immediate. “I’ve always wanted a dog named Rex.”

Before they could respond, everybody’s phone started beeping.

Nate unlocked his and saw a message flashing on the screen.

Mandatory contest tomorrow at noon, and a second seating at 11 pm. You can choose which time but you must be present for one of them. This will be a pass/fail competition.

Nate looked up at the group, he was met with grim stares.

“I told you things would get worse,” Dave’s voice was calm but there was an inferno in his eyes.

“But pass/fail, that could be a good thing, right?” Nate knew he needed to take the lead.

“We just need to make sure we pass.”

“If that’s all you have to say, I’m leaving.” Dave downed the rest of his drink in a single gulp. “We were supposed to be warning people about this, and that’s exactly what I’m going to do. If anyone wants to join me I’ll be in the cafeteria.”

Dave stormed out, pausing by the counter to take care of the tip.

“Should we?” Stacy was pushing back her chair.

“No,” Luke put a hand on her shoulder. “He needs time to himself. Let’s go find a home for Rex.”

“I’ll keep an eye on him,” Nancy had come back from the counter. Jaz got up and spoke with her in quiet tones so the rest of the group couldn’t hear. She discreetly handed her the order form for the typewriter, then came back to the table.

The rest of the group finished their drinks, then got up and headed back to the Silver Platypus room. Luke carried the plant at arm's length to avoid the sharp teeth. It was well behaved and didn’t spew any fire during their journey.

They got back to their room and cleared a space for Rex on top of a bookcase.

“This should do it,” Luke wiped his hands on his pants. “And hopefully that’s too high for little Wilbur to get to.”

Matt’s phone started playing a song. The lyrics to “When a Man Loves a Women” came from his pocket.

“Oh, it’s time for my video chat with Madame Midnight,” Matt took out his phone and turned off the music. “Wish me luck.”

The group gave Matt their best wishes, and he vanished into his bedroom.

“Nate and I are going to do some writing to practice for the competition tomorrow,” Luke grabbed Nate’s arm and dragged him through the blue door into his room.

“I guess I’m a part of this,” Nate mumbled under his breath.

Luke pushed Nate into the desk chair and sat on the edge of the bed. He had a laptop ready for the video chat and had found a voice-changing app for his phone. Wilbur was sitting on one of the pillows, watching with keen interest.

Luke’s computer started chirping.

“That’s him,” Luke was sweating, and his hands were nervously rolling over each other. He hit the answer button, careful to make sure that the camera was turned off.

“Madame Midnight,” Matt’s voice came through crystal clear. “I can’t believe we’re finally talking.”

Nate tuned them out, it was a personal call, he was just there for moral support, and to help if something went wrong. He looked over at Wilbur. Wilbur looked back. Nate twitched his nose and Wilbur followed suit.

Nate thought for a minute, then raised his arms. Wilbur tried to stand on his back legs but went tumbling down the pillow onto the bed. He panicked and took off running, directly towards the laptop.

“No” Nate lept forward but it was too late.

Wilbur ran over the keyboard, and turned Luke’s video on. Luke saw the camera come to life and threw himself at the laptop like he was covering a grenade.

Wilbur gave a squeak and lept off the bed.

It was too late.

“Luke!” Matt’s voice echoed throughout the room.

The BookcamTM zoomed out until the ship was a tiny spot on the ocean, and Matt’s voice echoed again.

The BookcamTM zoomed out further, out into space, with the entire earth in view Matt’s voice echoed a final time. “Luke!”