Dwendot was good at her job. She was one of a very few maids in the Tellcentran palace to have remained neutral during the current succession war. This often required her to sit in on sensitive conversations as she prepared tea or escorted her mistress. Even though Tellushra knew she was not loyal to her, the princess kept Dwen around. She got the distinct impression that the royal enjoyed having her around because she was openly neutral. For what reason, she couldn’t say but perhaps it was because Dwen was trustworthy. She prided herself on being the pinnacle of objective professionalism. Not just her master, but all Eldewotter’s secrets were safe in her hands. She served the royal family, not just Tellushra.

This was why Dwendot didn’t startle at the naked man facedown in the princess’s bed. She moved, quiet and efficient, to prepare Tellushra’s gown for the day. The calm gaze of her Mistress’s eyes followed her as she busied about the room.

“Tell me, Dwendot Jinthos, do you recognize this man?” Tellushra asked in a curious tone. She ran her fingers through his hair while he slept beside her.

It was a trick question.

Dwen faced the princess and bowed her head. “It appears to be Margrave Bichop, my lady.”

“Dwendot.” She could hear the suspicion in the single word. “I don’t believe you’ve seen his face. Was my precious maid sneaking peeks on my night of passion?”

The maid kept her head low. “My apologies, your highness. I simply recognized an identifying detail from the last time you enjoyed his company.”

There was a pregnant pause before she heard the tinkling laugh of an angel. “Oh! The birthmark on his ass?”

Dwen nodded.

“You may raise your head.” She dismissed the submissive posture. “I want to bathe quickly. Have the guards remove the Margrave while I’m gone. I think the tranquilizer is still in effect, so they may need to drag him. I’m sure his wife misses him very much, make sure to compensate him the same as last time.”

“Yes, your highness. May I ask your plans for the gaps in your schedule? If you’ll be spending much time outside during this heat wave I will dress you appropriately.”

Dwendot inspected her mistress’s naked body as she slid gracefully out of bed. Her posture was immaculate while her skin was not. Evidence of her unusual proclivities.

The maid prepared the appropriate salves and ointments.

Tellushra was already in the scathing water when Dwen returned.

“Mistress! I haven’t added the cold water yet!” She cried, then quickly moderated her tone and rephrased. “I apologize, Your Highness. I should have informed you sooner that the bath was not yet prepared.”

“It is a little hot, isn’t it?” She looked absently at her beet-red hand. “But you can’t see the bruises now… Call the imperial physician.”

Dwendot sighed. “Yes, Mistress.”

She popped her head outside the room to convey the order to the guards cleaning up the Margrave. The muscular man was much larger than Tellushra with a large, square-ish birthmark on the back of his thigh. The guards were having a difficult time leveraging his dead weight out of the bed.

“Dwe-nny!” Tellushra called in a sing-song voice.

“Yes, Your Highness?”

“I’m getting a new pet today. So dress me up really pretty. I want to make a good first impression. I hear he’s just an orphan in this world. That should make him easier to win over. ” She steepled her fingers together and rested them on her chin as she looked wistfully out the window. “Does that make me a bad person, Dwendot? Playing on his weaknesses.”

Another trick question.

“Yes, Your Highness.“

Tellushra gave her a gentle smile. “You always pass my tests so easily.”

“You want the truth. It is easy to give and of no cost to me.” She said plainly. “I am grateful that you value my honesty.”

There was a soft knock at the door heralding the arrival of the imperial physician.

“Halto, I’m not feeling well. I think the water was a little toasty.” She lifted an arm out of the water. On her wrist, forearm and elbow, little pillows of skin were growing. The blisters were the size of Tellcentran gold marqs spotting her body.

Benward Halto shot a pitying look at Dwendot. Even though they were healed easily enough, she could feel the sympathy he had for her making such a monumental mistake. But Halto was new—unaccustomed to Tellushra’s more disturbing habits. For one, Dwen knew the Princess wouldn’t bring in a real pet, the King expressly forbade her highness from owning animals. They, like the gardeners, had a tendency to go missing.

***

Dwendot stood behind her mistress, beside three imperial knights.

They each seemed to be on edge about the man in the seat across the table. His bright red hair and blue eyes were unnatural to her Kiton sensibilities. This man, however, was not Kiton. He sat back in his chair with his feet on the coffee table, disregarding propriety. To her credit, Tellushra wasn’t so much as annoyed by his lack of decorum. She sipped her tea unbothered.

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“So you want me to kill all your brothers and sisters, so that you can ascend the throne.” His voice was cold and dangerous, even in the presence of royalty. “And if I tell you to piss-off and leave me be? What will happen then?”

Tellushra looked puzzled. “You won’t, so why are you bringing it up?”

He scoffed at her derisively. “You’re so certain of yourself. What if I don’t want to? I have no allegiance to Tellcentra or its monarchy.”

She smiled. “I think I’ve started in the wrong place. Should we start with your salary? …hm… from your face I can tell that’s a no. Oh! I know! How about this?” She leaned forward with elbows on knees to put her head playfully in her hands. “Become the Tellcentran Unmade. Isn’t that an elegant solution? You want that, right?”

He narrowed his eyes at her. “You have an Unmade. Alexandru The Circumspect. He’s been in the position for decades. And, no, I won’t kill him for you. Unmade don’t kill each other.”

“I’m aware of your values. There is no need to fret. I’ll get rid of him myself and then the position will be open to whichever Unmade the King wants. …but what if the succession war were to end at the same time? I would be Queen of Tellcentra, in need of a trustworthy Unmade. That is my offer. Five years from now, when my throne is thoroughly secured, I will release you from the contract if you choose.” She tilted her head at him without picking it up off her hands. “Isn’t that so generous of me? Duke Dimetrium has been up my ass for a month about marrying into the Florentine royal family, so I want to take him down at the earliest possible convenience. If you can manage that, I’ll let you go a year earlier. How does that sound?”

Dwendot started when the Unmade man looked her up and down. Through most meetings, be they social or clandestine, Dwen had gone entirely unnoticed—or at the very least, ignored.

“I assume this is your right hand.” He led.

“Dwendot?” She laughed uproariously. “That’s the position I’m hiring for. No, no, no, Dwendot is not one of my people. She refuses every single time I set the bait. My only concern is that she’s too trustworthy. I’m glad you noticed her first.”

Dwen’s blood ran cold. She knew the playful, lilting voice the Princess was using. It called to mind a shark circling in the water. It made one feel that at any moment, the peace would snap and a feeding frenzy begin.

“Dwenny is honest to a fault. What do you think she’ll do when she finds out I’m planning on killing Alexandru?” She asked like it was the most obvious answer. “No need to ask you. Let’s ask her. Dwendot, what will you do with that information?”

Dwendot squeezed her eyes shut, feeling a sudden headache coming on. “Were you planning against your siblings, I would disregard it. The country’s Unmade is another matter entirely. I would inform the King.”

Tellushra sat up straight and clapped delightedly at her honesty. “See?”

The Unmade man considered them for a long while. The Princess happily munched on cookies as she waited.

Eventually, he spoke again. “You told me your plan in front of her to use her as a hostage. Now, if I say no, you’ll kill her. But if I say yes, then the country doesn’t go a day without an Unmade and she’ll have no reason to report it—me having saved her life.”

Dwen clasped her hands together behind her back. It pulled her shoulders into alignment and set her chin at a confident angle… all to hide the growing tremble in her hands. The guard beside her shifted his weight as if to better intercept a potential escape attempt.

“You overestimate my value for Kiton lives.” The man said, sitting up and putting down his teacup. “If you have nothing else to offer, I’d like to know who recommended me for this position before I leave.”

Tellushra waved a cheery goodbye and spoke to the guards behind her without turning. “Chop her up and toss her in with the pigs. They’ll clean it up for us.”

The guards beside Dwen clamped down on both arms, encircling her in a moment. One supplied a gag from his back pocket and forced it past her teeth. They buckled her knees and forced her to the ground, kneeling beside the princess.

Tellushra looked up at the Unmade, surprised. “Um… Goodbye. You’ll have to excuse me for not seeing you out. I have no use for you.” She toodled her fingers at him.

He observed the princess, unmoving. “You’re batshit crazy.” He stated.

She offered a giddy smile, pleased he’d decided to play. “Any worse than your Unmade kinsmen?”

“…some of them.”

Dwendot couldn’t stop the tears streaming down her face and into the gag kerchief. She felt him inspect her once again.

The Unmade rubbed his temples in annoyance. “I’ll take your deal but as a consequence of manipulating me, I get to take something from you. I don’t like being threatened so give me the maid. Call it reparations.”

Tellushra’s laughter painted the air. “Now what makes you think—“

“I didn’t ask!” As he roared the words, glass began raining from the chandelier overhead. The force shook the room and spurred the guards to draw their weapons. “It sounds like Alexandru is the only Unmade you’ve met, so let me inform you of something, Princess. There are different flavors. Your country’s Unmade is a politician. I’m a tank and I’m very hard to kill. I could take out every last one of you and be in Destadia by nightfall. So give me the maid and I’ll see you for work on Monday.”

Tellushra stared at him, her face a mask of indifference. After an entire minute of uninterrupted eye contact, she hopped to her feet.

“What good news! Boys, let her go. She belongs to my new Night Hawk. I won’t let you disrespect my Unmade’s possessions.”

Tellushra left the room without so much as a backward glance. Dwen slumped on the floor. She was a slave now. She started the day as a highly trustworthy maid and ended it a slave.

Her new master’s shoes approached.

“I won’t be your whore.” She spat. “I’d rather have died a maid!”

“Shut up… just… for a minute.” He ran both hands through his hair. Looking very much like he was out of his league. “I can send you to live with someone in Destadia or Florenta, you choose. You’ll be safe.”

The man was tall, all young, lean muscle. He looked to be somewhere in his twenties, though his strong but youthful features made it difficult to gauge where he fell in that range.

“…why?” She ventured after watching him begin to pace. “She’ll eat you alive. Did you really want the position of Tellcentran Unmade that badly?”

He froze in place, turning a deadly look on her. “I should have let you die, then? Is that what you mean? I should have let her guards hack you into tiny pieces? Then they could have scattered you like fertilizer. Is that what I should have done?”

Dwendot’s heart sank. “No. I should be thanking you. But before I do that… please tell me what kind of life I’ve been thrown into.”

He rubbed his face and answered after a long sigh. “Do you have any talents?”

“Not in bed—“

“Would you stop that? I’m not going to screw you.” He snapped. “I assume you can cook, being a high-level maid and all.”

“My father owns a candy store. We’re devotees of Ko. That’s why I have some experience as a chocolatier.”

He shot her a look of confusion. “The Tertiary God of Sugar? That’s not terribly useful.”

“I’m told Unmade like candy…” she tested.

Actually, she’d heard they were… what had he said? Batshit? Unmade went out of their minds for very specific candy.

“Dammit. You’re right. I would sell my third kidney for an Earth candy bar... my one weakness.”