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Crystalized Rubber
Chapter 0: Death and Taxes

Chapter 0: Death and Taxes

“So, death and taxes, eh?”

The clerk sighed and put a thin smile on his face.

“Death and taxes indeed.”

If it wasn’t for the endless nothingness surrounding them, the conversation would be entirely mundane.

“So, to summarize Mr. Hearst, due to a mix-up on our end, the system has overdrawn your karmic balance, resulting in a couple of your previous lives being miserable, culminating in your current life being better In exchange. But the overdraw itself remained, and now that we noticed, you are here to cash in the chargeback.”

David drummed his fingers on the corner mahogany table while he thought about the clerk's words.

As much as he hated bureaucracy, and especially taxes, he didn’t get rich by neither being choosy, nor by turning down free stuff.

“So, what are my options?”

“Well, taking into account the interest, inconvenience fee and your current karmic investment,” -the clerk looked at some paperwork on the table, “and I must say you were quite a philanthropist, you can get just about anything you ask for.”

“What, even becoming a god?”

“Pretty much, although a minor one.”

Shocked at this revelation, David thought back on his life.

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Taking a loan to buy out a failing business, all the countless meetings, making exclusive contracts with different suppliers, all the sabotage attempts, going international, even more countless meetings, slowly losing control of the company, stepping down because of those Backstabbing Bastards, going around the world, spending all his money, the scandal with all those documents he leaked, the company going down, his slow decline surrounded by children, even if he never had his own…

David was tired.

He was tired and wanted to just relax.

As he was looking up to ask for something like heaven, with the clerk giving him a soft, knowing smile, his body slowly filled with warmth, and he remembered his last moments with Jacob.

‘Oh, Jacob, that sunny kid, he was always reading something beside me, full of stories and knowledge. What was it he was telling me at the end there? Something about… dungeons? Ah yes, those dungeon stories, they were always so interesting when he read them to me. From rags to riches, just like me!’

As he came back from his memories, he noticed the clerk looking confused, and reading through a thick stack of papers. As he coughed to his attention, the clerk jerked with a start, as if not expecting him to be there.

“You’re still here?”

He asked with befuddlement.

“Was I not supposed to be?”

David replied, himself slightly confused.

“You- never mind, did you think of anything?”

The clerk quickly switched back to his work mode, once again fully focusing on him.

“Yea, I want to be one of those dungeon things, with monsters and all? I wanna give it another go around.”

At this the clerk was completely confused, not expecting that in the slightest, but he didn’t let it show.

“Anything else? That will hardly make a dent in the debt.”

David was always more of a reaction kind of guy, leaving convoluted plans to others, and as such-

“Eh, you guys probably know me better than I do, so I’m gonna leave it to ya guys.”

-he pushed this responsibility up the chain.

At this point, the clerk was way out of his comfort zone. He specialized in making personalized heaven for those of high balance, not reincarnation, that wasn’t even his department! He thought it was weird that he didn’t see David in the list, but to stop mid-transmission? That was unheard of.

“Of course, Mr. Hearst, I will take care of everything! Sweet dreams.”

He lied. He was going to raise hell with whoever made this wish chart.

But first, contacting the reincarnation department. Such a large client Couldn’t be mishandled.

As David slowly drifted to sleep, the last thing he saw was the clerk pulling out a phone and frantically dialing, and thinking,

‘Oh well, not my problem anymore.’

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