In a daze, King laid entrapped in the ground never quite awake and never quite asleep either. Millions of years passed, and layers of earth processed and layered above him completely encompassing him further than he already had been. However, King has some nasty instincts that cause him to move around and punch out at anything he can find. So from his tiny body, he slowly made a pocket of air around himself, which soon filled up with water.
This water of course came from the surface. It coalesced around him and filled up the man-made well entirely. And it didn’t stop there, it slowly eroded out the dirt and bedrock around King until it eroded into the underground mini-volcano that had covered King up in the first place. This superheated the water so much so that it started boiling and creating an enormous amount of pressure in the pocket.
The gaseous water desperately tried to get out of the underground pocket, and in doing so elevated the water to the ceiling of the well. King was smashed against the top of the well and created a small indent in the ground. This was all the water needed and like nobody's business it launched upwards extremely fast. The ground tore apart more and more until the surface of the planet was revealed. The newly formed geyser which had artificially formed over the past thousands of years launched King into the sky.
King flew directly into the neighboring pond which had probably fed water into his cave thing. He crashed into the pond and slowly sunk to the bottom as he absorbed the water. His body lifelessly waded around at the bottom of the muck. Wait-! What’s that?! King is slowly absorbing water and growing like those toy dinosaurs you put in water! Why didn’t he grow earlier when he was in the geyser2?! Who knows maybe the PH was too high!
Over a few days, King absorbed more and more water and slowly expanded back to the size he once was. By the time he was done the pond was 1/5th the size it once had been. Then after another day of doing absolutely nothing King slowly opened his eyes and yawned underwater. He immediately started trying to cough up the water because breathing water sucks ass. Realizing where he was, King leaped out of the water covered in a mucky substance.
King crash-landed on the ground into a roll and stood up for the first time in an eternity. He started vibrating fast and the muck fell off his body, revealing his naked, scarred, canvas of a human body. All the wounds he had all long since healed and he overall he seemed to have no significant problems and is perfectly fine. “Fuck me, dude how did I not die? How am I supposed to die? Tyr that scumbag scammed me and got away.” King said this aloud wholly oblivious to the numerous families who had been enjoying their time on the lake.
///POV Change: First Person\\\
Looks like I ended up on another carbon-based planet with people and such. There are even humans this time, great, just what I needed. More problems. With one glance around myself, it became easy enough to tell which type of planet I am on—the modern kind with all sorts of technology and dodads. The people hanging around the beach are clean and properly covered, none of them are rippling with muscle and carrying around a mystical spear, and there aren’t any nobles here to monopolize this place.
“Maybe there are people like that here.” I pondered to myself as I passed by a booth that was administering people. Everyone on the beach stopped to stare at me, but if I let that get to me, my name wouldn’t be Kingsley. Leaving the beach, I made my way to a concrete-like road and started walking down it. I’m not particularly going anywhere I just figure it’d be more fun to explore while things still feel new. An eternity of emptiness makes the dullest colors bright.
“To think that I am older than this planet entirely.” I scoffed to myself while I walked down the road with my hands on my head. With each step I took the street crumbled under my feet, leaving a footprint behind me.
To be honest, I feel more anxious than one would expect of a near-invincible entity. People have a miraculous way of making others suffer, and they always exceed my expectations at every turn. In my last world, I isolated myself away from others and only lived for my fight with Tyr. I killed and killed with no regard for life, feeling that it had no regard for me either. During my time self reflecting on the super-blackhole that nearly compressed me into oblivion, I began to understand something. Life is no fun without others in it. It’s boring to a mind-numbing degree, and not only that, life becomes purposeless. So this time around, I’ll live differently; I live to live with people. I’ll be frank. I want to make a family.
The road turned into a forest and provided some much-needed shade. I’ve had enough with planetary and solar destruction for a few millennia. I walked for quite a while until a vehicle road up to a stop beside me. The tinted glass window slowly receded into the car, revealing the person that was inside. Ah, I see a man in uniform; he’s probably part of the police on this planet. ‘Maybe it’s illegal to walk on the roads? That’s how it was on Glom.’ I stopped walking and bent down to look into the car.
“Hey, pal, that wasn’t a nude beach back there so what’s the big idea.” The middle-aged cop said something, but I’ll be damned if I had a clue as to what. I tilted my head in confusion. “Don’t play dumb with me, man it’s tough enough being on beach duty I don’t need some weirdo making today more difficult for me. So just put some clothes on and I’ll be on my way.” Now he looks annoyed. For some reason, he spoke louder as if I was supposed to understand him clearer if he did. We stared back and forth at each other for a good long while before I shrugged my shoulders.
“Fine, be that way then. But don’t get mad at me when you get charged with something pal.” The cop spoke as he got out of his car and walked over to me. “Boy, are you a big one. You come down here from up North I hear people are built differently over there.” He waited for my response, but I could only smile idiotically. “To think I’d get the silent treatment from a civilian. I’d expect that from my wife, maybe, but a person like you. It’s not easy being a cop y’know. There’s no need for cuffs, right? Just get it.” He opened the door for me while speaking utter gibberish. ‘Looks like he wants to give me a ride somewhere. Who am I to reject this nice man?’ I thought while entering the car. I laid down on the comfy seats and stared at the ceiling of the cruiser.
“Put on your seatbelt.” The man looked down at me, and I glanced over at him. The grumpy cop went to the driver's side door and got in. Looking back at me, he sighed then pulled and clicked in his seatbelt. “Your seatbelt.” He said while pulling at his own. I understood the first time, but I didn’t want to sit upright so I remained obstinate. He glared back at me for a long time, unrelenting for some reason. This man doesn’t realize he’s in the same car as the guy who created this universe. ‘F~ine…’ With a sigh I sat up and locked in my seatbelt too. With a smirk on his face, the policeman turned around and turned the key in the ignition.
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As we drove along the winding road the trees grew larger and larger until the sun was almost completely blocked out. Gazing out at trees has always been a pastime for me and watching them grow is nice too. This moment in time is so serene; a nice guy is driving me into town, big ass trees doing big ass tree stuff, and no one is trying to murder me. The catharsis got to me and I stretched out into a big yawn. *TrrrEEEE*
‘Oh shit.’ “Hey what’s going on back there?!” The man yells back at me. I retract my feet from the hole I just made directly through the bottom of the vehicle. The man looks back at me and I do my best to keep a straight face while covering the holes with my body. Luckily they perfectly match my feet. With a shrug, he turned around to look at the road. I breathe a sigh of relief but that’s very short-lived. The grump cop started complaining about something once more while tapping on a dial at the front of the car. ‘Fuck me that’s the gas dial. Shit, I must have hit something important.’
Without a second to spare I smash my feet through the holes, I made once more. My feet almost anchored into the cement but I managed to get them up to speed before that happened. Sweat dribbled down the side of my face. Not from fatigue but from the massive anxiety of the cop possibly turning around and watching me Fred Flintstone us down the road at 35 miles per hour.
“The cruise-master12 feels weird today, but in a good way it’s like we’re gliding or something.” His dumb gibberish only made me more nervous. As we ran along I clipped a root on my right foot and accidentally tore up an entire tree. I managed to kick it off my foot in time but the tree went flying into another. Which then promptly got knocked down and caused the cop-man to swerve out of the way. Of course, I’m the one driving and steering the vehicle now so I had to fake swerve out of the way. The tree had landed right in front of us too so the cop-man had hit the brakes to stop while swerving which is a classic mistake. I stood up straight in the car and tried to slide to a stop but the power I needed to stop in that instance would kill the nice man so instead, I opted to do a side flip into a 90-degree turn.
While in the air the cop’s head flung around like a rag doll so I reached out and stabilized it. I don’t think he realized because he was in shock. We landed and I released his head which was probably a mistake because he slouched down. ‘Damn he passed out...maybe that’s for the best. I hope he doesn’t get mad about the broken windows and stuff. Wait he’s asleep now...I guess it wouldn’t hurt to run *cough* drive a little faster.’ I ran down the street about as fast as a cheetah not slowing down even on the bends.
Eventually, the forestry retreated revealing a suburban-style town a good few miles down the road. A few ring ding shops lined the roads and only a few cars were driving down this part. Hopefully, nobody questioned the trail of footprints following the mutilated vehicle. I slowed down to a reasonable speed and tried my best to follow street law. Sometimes I even gave hand signals out to let people know where I was turning. Not that I knew where I was going it was just fun to do.
After drifting into the town and running around a bit I got bored. I decided to leave but just as that happened a car with the same insignia and design as my own passed by. ‘This is all my fault. I should drop this poor man off.’ The cop seemed to be foaming at the mouth or something but I survived worse so he should be fine. Picking up a little speed I crept up to the other cruiser and tracked it around town. The other cruiser didn’t seem to be in a rush; in fact, nothing in this town seemed to be doing much of anything. Only the occasional person was walking down a sidewalk here or there, and every car seemed to be driving...moderately. Which is weird if you’ve ever driven.
This whole town gave off a half content half boring vibe. I imagine it’s the type of place where everything comes to stop. I’ve lived in a few places like that. It can be nice for a while until you realize how awful boredom is. Every house gave off the premade manufactured vibe, and every road seemed as if it was hardly driven on.
The cruiser eventually pulled into a driveway that led to one of the grey manufactured style houses and parked. I walked up to the curb in front of the house and planted myself down finally taking a second to relax. After doing nothing for a very long time even a little bit of interaction can become incredibly straining for me. The lady who was in the car walked up to her door and tried to put her keys in the keyhole. Before she could the keys slipped from her grasp and bounced away from her. She reached down to grab them and as she was looking up she finally noticed me.
‘Lady, girl, I have been following you for like an hour straight in a banged-up cruiser with half a windshield how oblivious can you be.’
“John is that you?” Her nasally voice came off as irritating. She walked up to the mangled car and peered in and gasped in shock. The cop still hadn’t woken up to his nice concussion nap but he should be fine. “Oh my God, John!” She screamed as she ran around to the other side and yanked the door open. She unbuckled the man and yoinked him out of the front seat and onto the concrete with some struggle. She elevated him onto her lap and whipped out a device, probably calling some paramedics or something.
“Please please please pick up.” She nervously tapped her phone and then looked back down at the unconscious man. This mother fucked better not fucking die and ruin my first impression with these people. I’ll find him in the after-life and fuck him up if I have to if he does. She pressed her two fingers against the underside of his neck and prayed a little. She closed her eyes for a little while as if she was searching for something in her thoughts. As soon as they closed that opened again and she let out a little cheer. ‘Hopefully, that means he’s not dead.’
At the same time, someone started speaking out of the lady’s device and she aptly responded. Seeing as I was no help inside the car I opted to exit the vehicle. As to not to scare the petrified lady I got out on the other side. The door provided a little resistance, so I pushed a little harder and the entire thing shredded off. ‘Landslide broke the tree. Yep landslide, not me.’ I hopped onto the road and trodded carefully over to the lady who was somehow woefully ignorant of my presence. Trying to break as little concrete as possible I crouched down beside the lady and stared at the not dead man. Eventually, she got off the phone and let out some hot air. As she did she unwittingly put her arm on my shoulder and shook her head, “How the fuck did this happen, John?” She said as she realized where her hand was. “Who the fuc-” She yelped with wide eyes as she jumped away. The man’s head which was resting on her lap almost smashed onto the ground, but I stopped it.
“Who the fuck are you? Did you do this?!” I may not be able to understand whatever bullshit dumbass made up sounding language this lady was speaking, but I still got the point. With no real way to communicate via language, I opted to use body language. Unfortunately, body language does not translate into words so just imagine me pointing at the footprints I made and walking my fingers along my hand to describe my movement. Oh, wait nevermind that translated pretty easily. After going back and forth with charades for a long time the ambulance finally showed up and the lady tried to detain me. The cuffs broke so I opted to wrap the bar of a stop sign around my wrists. They didn’t like that very much either so I meekly smiled and followed the lady into her cruiser which wasn’t obliterated. This time I opted to lay down. The lady looked back at me and sighed while shaking her head. She couldn’t help but be annoyed at this overly muscular bonehead who possibly killed a close friend of hers. Not only that…
“I just fucking got off of my shift you bastard!” She was looking forward to the lasagna she had saved inside her freezer.
Her voice is fucking annoying. Like if a Windex bottle and a Mongolian throat singer had a crack baby with a crippling addiction to nicotine products. I’d honestly rather listen to a 10 hour Fred compilation than listen to this bitch. Microwave at two in the morning sounding ass. Like seriously she sounds so ba-...yeah this gag wasn’t as funny as it was in my head. Cya.