“Six of the Bowls have been poured, Lucifer’s army is massing, and our team estimates we barely have a week until the Second Coming. Everyone, we are running out of time.”

At the Coalition for the Preservation of Humanity’s conference table, Dr. Alex McKenzie, the lead Applied Theology researcher, presented their team’s findings.

“Our efforts at defying prophecy have been growing more strained. While the supernatural disasters have been occurring as Revelation predicted, during the early years the population at large seemed to be resistant to prophetic inertia—the Red Horse’s effect was largely nullified due to the people’s general reluctance to fight each other in the face of a greater enemy. Since the Bowl Judgements began, though, that desire is being twisted. The Antichrist’s claims of waging open warfare on Yahweh have been drawing people to his cause—a cause all evidence suggests is futile. If Revelation is to be believed, which we have little reason to doubt by now, Yahweh is going to annihilate everyone who joins him—a death toll that will dwarf every war we’ve ever fought.

“You know all of this. But the open question is why. We had initially assumed the Antichrist simply seized the opportunity, jumping on the people’s desires for revenge for his own ends. But we’ve found that might not be the only factor. Our research suggests Yahweh is taking a more direct role, in the face of His plan being derailed, influencing the people to join the opposing force.”

There was a general sound of assent throughout the room. Everyone there had been briefed on basic theological knowledge, and the story of Pharaoh rang in their minds.

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”Perhaps the more important question, however, has been how is our group still in existence, rather than having been smote by providence. We believe we have found out why.”

Another murmur went through the assembly. Humanity was strapped for advantages, and knowing what was keeping them alive seemed as good of one as any.

“We theorize that Yahweh is bound by prophecy as much as He makes it. Yahweh hasn’t struck us with lightning because He never said He would.”

That got a reaction from everyone in attendance, with the crowd erupting into gasps and shouts.

“Never said He would?!” One member spluttered, “Half of the Book is Him declaring the fate of his enemies!”

“Not quite,” McKenzie replied. “Yahweh talks at length about the fate of the followers of the Antichrist and Lucifer, but it’s always been that simple Us vs. Them dichotomy. He never accounted for a third party stepping in, and that keeps us from being obliterated or turned to the Antichrist’s side.”

Another member spoke up, “That’s all well and good to keep us alive, but how does this help us win?”

“What happens when you give a computer input it doesn’t expect?”

“It crashes,” he said automatically, before the realization hit him. “You’re saying… we’re going to BRICK Yahweh?

“Exactly. Yahweh isn’t like a simple computer program—He exhibits too much agency for that. Rather, think of Him as the most advanced AI in the universe—He can rewrite His own “programming,” which in this case is prophecy, but He’s still bound by it until He does. So we’re not going to give Him a chance to do so.”

“Why will this work? We’ve been trying to throw off prophecy for the last 7 years, and everything is still happening more or less on schedule.”

“Because this time, we’re not allowing for an interpretation of our actions as fulfilling the prophecies. We’re going to do something that disrupts the script completely and irreparably, and that will give us the opening we need.”

At that, McKenzie finally grinned.

“We’re going to kill the devil.”