the day i died started out like any other day. to be perfectly honest i didn't even know such a embarrassing way to kick the bucket even existed. it all started when i decided to go to the library and find a new book to read because i was bored and thought spending my time expanding my brain would be better than spending the day online then going to sleep to awake to the hell that is school the next day.

on my way to the library many thoughts filled my head such as 'what books should i check out' and 'i hope there's a fine latina in there'. i kinda have a thing for latin american girls that know their stuff; weird i know. do i care for your opinion? no.

as i rounded the corner to the library i took in its tall gray brick walls with a zigzag pattern uniformly going across it. on the side of the building was a banner promoting this new book called "Tales of Wicker". According to the banner it was supposed to be a great book about a hero thats transported to another world to save them from the dark queen savannah.

"ew, another book about a hero and how he saves a bunch of random people from a threat he never heard of before in life" to be perfectly honest if i had the chance i'd be evil.

like when you're evil you're not bound to shit. no one is judging you, well they are but you're evil so who cares? i'd be evil so obviously not me.

i head into the entrance and decide to just check out the book on the side because it seems like a good book i'd enjoy to make fun of for a few hours.

as im look for the section where they keep the book i realize that it must be really popular because there isnt a copy left in sight. i even go up to the Liberian and she tells me

"oh so sorry sugar. that book is so popular that everyone came to check out a copy. you should've seen the lines for it this morning"

dam, how am i going to get this book? its not like that i can just ask- wait a minute lemme just ask this lady

"you dont have an extra copy hanging around anywhere? i'll even buy it if i have to"

wait why am i buying this thrashy book if i was just talking shit about it earlier? im already broke as it is. i think i have like $20 on me however; if i have to buy this book i'll buy it. mother didnt raise no quiter.

"you're a very lucky boy. i had preordered the book so im done reading it. i'll sell it to you for $30"

"ughh i only have 20 ma'am. can i come back and pay the last $10 on a later date?"

"hmmn you could always do something else for me" *rape face*

ok this lady is not going to defile my young body with her withered flower. i dont even like milfs!

this is gonna hurt my pride a bit but it has to be done

A case of content theft: this narrative is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.

"ok lady you drive a hard a bargain but i'll agree to what ever it is you ask of me"

as soon as i say those words i instantly regret it because she leans over the desk and tries to pull my face in for a kiss. as she gets near i can smell the peppermints and moth balls on her and my stomach starts to flip.

i let her get a little closer before i decide to just take the copy of the book on her desk and run out the library at full speed.

"COME BACK HERE YOU YOUNG YIPPER SNAPPER YOU STILL HAVE TO TASTE GRANDMA'S COOKIES"

hearing this sends me into hyper drive as i start bob and weaving through crowds of people to get away from the demented old lady who wishes to take my stem and disease it with her withered flower.

after around 10 minutes of running straight im home and call myself safe because i wasnt defiled by an old lady who wants me or am dead.

i look at the book in my hand to make sure its the right book and not some strange book that details ways to lure young men into your trap. i had to be careful that lady could be capable of anything

taking a look at the book i see that a cover with a heroic looking man that looks extremely similar to He-man. standing above a cliff with a very scenic view of the kingdom down below with the villainess of the story in the corner shrouded in shadows.

"wow she's gorgeous. too bad she's not real but thank god for rule 34. i think i'll have some fun with this a little later"

after i examine the front i flip the book over to it's back to read the synopsis and find out the official gist of the book is literally 'high school student is transported to mysterious world and happens to be a chosen one to save the people of that land from the villainess'

if the guy on the cover is a high school student i guess im in primary school. i look nothing like that muscle bound guy.

*8 hours later*

"no! savannah dont give that fuck wad a chance! just kill him! screw the games he's been a pain in your side since chapter 1!"

"well guess this book was great in the end" i cant believe that i just spent 8 hours reading this book. nor can i believe that it was actually good. well i only like it because like 3/5 of it was told from the villainess savannah's point of view. i mostly skimmed through the heros P.O.V.

now i do believe its time to see what the internet has came up with concerning naughty little savannah *extreme 🌚 face*

hmm lets see 'savannah xxx'.... oh yes..ohhh..yessss...

*45.83 minutes of fapping later*

"oh yea bend over like that....*click* oh this is a- a- a-"

*busts*

"ugh thank you internet for another session and thank you savannah for being so sexy."

i cant believe i really feel in love with a book character...ugh its not like that i'll ever get to see or know her. she's just a figment of someone's imagination sadly.

*sniff* *sniff*

"is that fire? OH NO.

The OUT LET WAS UNCOVERED....THE SEMEN MUST BE REACTING WITH THE CURRENT IN THE WIRES AND CAUSED A ELECTRICAL FIRE"

as i turn around i see sparks coming from under my computer then a fire just blazes to life.

its cruel how this happened in a way. as how the fire immediately spread to my door blocking me from leaving my windowless room. yenno i once seen this meme that was like 'one you fap once' and under it was a computer saying 'you've been disconnected from jesus' and im actually starting to believe that

"fuck why did i have to fap so much!!"

ugh now im going to die. the smoke is getting thicker and thicker by the second and my visibility is getting worse.

"fuck it, if im going to die i'll be found clutching my favorite villainess!'

i swat at the clouds until i find the book on my bed. as im holding it the carbon in lungs is destroying my system from the inside out and i can feel myself dying from carbon dioxide intoxication. i slide to the ground hoping someone saves me but instead i hear a voice laughing.

at first i think its the devil laughing at my death as he welcomes me to hell but a figure appears in front of me. its a black smoke like creature that form is bound by deeply blood stained chains.

i start to panic thinking satan is real and start asking forgiveness while the mysterious being is still laughing.

at this point i used almost all the oxygen left in my system and the figures stop and moves closer.

"we..lp....this...i..s.it"

with the book to my heart i collapse to the floor as the mysterious being is already near my near lifeless body.

he squats down and i can feel the power coming from him like intense radiation.

he wipes a tear and says in a voice akin to rusty scissors being scrapped against chipped knives

"oh man! you humans are funny. to think that semen could cause an electrical fire! oh thats just a once in a millennium time thing right there. however human, my reason to visit you isnt just to laugh at your misery. its to give you a second chancce. for we are one and the same. do you accept? i can give you life again, make you stronger, tougher, smarter. all whats need to be done is say the word 'yes' "

i cant believe a some kind of demon is here. im probably going to die anyways so i might as well make the best out of my hallucinations.

"yes..." i say weakly before my vision goes fails me and i black out