“You gotta be shittin’ me.”

The tone of voice, more than the words themselves, made my mind snap back to attention and focus on Mr. Tillings, my boss. “Sorry, could you repeat that last part?”

The upper-middle-aged man rubbed his temples, his eyes shut tight. “You completely zoned out while I was talking.”

I wish I could say that was abnormal for me. My mind had a habit of distracting itself whenever I was in a stressful situation, which often only made things worse. “No, no, I was just, uh, really considering what you were saying,” I lied, as I moved to get out of the chair that was facing Tillings’s desk. “Was there anything else, or should I get back to my cubicle?”

“Dodd,” the man grumbled, as he opened a drawer. “I had just finished explaining why I was firing you.” Tillings took out some pills, and swallowed them dry. “You’ve got ten minutes to clear out your desk.”

“What? Whatever happened, I can do better. I just think that I’m… not being challenged enough. With more responsibilities, I–”

“Five minutes.”

Unsure who might have overheard any of that, I avoided all eye contact on my way back to my cubicle. I placed my satchel on the desk and filled it with what few personal belongings I kept at work, along with as many office supplies as I felt I could get away with stealing.

A face popped up behind one of the cubicle walls. “Jeremy! Were you really just fired?” I turned to see Haley, my cubicle neighbor. At 28, she was just a year younger than me, but had been working in this office since she was an intern just out of high school. She’d probably work there until she retired. She was kind of cute, at least in comparison to most of the other office drones I worked with, and nice enough to chat with on slow days, but she didn’t seem to have much of a life outside of the office. I got the impression that she was more than a little interested in me, but we had yet to have a conversation that didn’t find its way back to work.

The fact that I had just been fired should tell you how much I cared to chat about work.

“Yyyup.” I scanned the rest of the cubicle for anything else that wouldn’t be missed.

“Oh, no,” she frowned. “Need any help updating your resumé? I’m free this weekend.”

My satchel was already around my shoulder. “Uh, maybe. I might have some things lined up, so I’ll let you know.” In truth, I wanted to sever all ties to this place, like I had done with every other place that had fired me. No need to dwell on the past.

“Oh! Okay…” Haley’s head disappeared behind the wall. Stepping out of the cubicle, I nearly bumped into her. What, did she run over here?

Haley looked up at me with a deathly serious expression. “You’ve got my contact info, right?”

I looked back into the cubicle, grabbed a sticky note that had the desk numbers for some of my coworkers, and pocketed it. “Got it.” Maybe once this place was fully in my rearview mirror, I’d consider calling her. For now, I just wanted to get out before Tillings made a scene. If I’d left anything behind, it was good as gone, as far as I was concerned.

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Not wanting to have to explain the situation, or even just make smalltalk, with anyone else, I walked with a purpose out of the office. 

“Good luck, Jeremy…”

I only turned my head slightly and gave a single wave as I exited.

***

Making a sort of combination sigh and groan sound, I closed the browser window. Not sure why I’m looking for another job in an office when I could barely stand the easy one I just got fired from. There had been some truth in what I told Tillings earlier: I tended to do better when challenged, and that job had been anything but challenging. The pay wasn’t much, but I felt overpaid for the amount of work I had to complete. In retrospect, I probably should have at least put in some effort to make myself look busier.

Then there was the other part of my earlier talk with Tillings: if things got too challenging or stressful, I would mentally disengage and end up either rushing things or not finishing them at all. It was difficult to find the right balance, so I honestly didn’t bother most of the time. 

Deciding that I wasn’t going to magically find the right job for me in one night, I booted up the fantasy MMORPG I got hooked on about a year ago. Probably gonna have to unsubscribe until I find another source of income. Of course I would have just completed the surprisingly-long free trial part of the game. It had taken me longer than average to reach this point because I struggled to commit to a job class, and ended up leveling most of them to the free trial’s level cap before moving on. No, the irony had not been lost on me.

Unfortunately, within ten minutes of playing, I reached a point where I needed to party up with other players to complete a mandatory boss fight. I preferred playing solo as much as possible, but did enjoy the camaraderie of taking down a difficult boss with other people once in a while. This was just not the right day for that. Brilliant move, Jer. Playing a massively multiplayer game when you’d rather avoid all human contact.

I pulled myself out of my chair and - even though it was 8:32 at night and I had been fired at around 10:00 this morning - changed out of my bland office casual getup and into a t-shirt and shorts. My parents had always made sure I was participating in some kind of sport or athletic activity in school. It was one of many things I liked to argue about at the time, but as I crept closer to my thirties, I was glad that I enjoyed jogging. 

It was getting foggy out, so I knew I wouldn’t be able to stay out too long. I locked up my apartment behind me and jogged down one of my more familiar routes, in case the fog thickened faster than I anticipated. The route went from the apartment complex’s parking lot to a well-worn trail that, after about five minutes of light jogging, led to a small park. The plan for tonight was to reach the park, do a lap or two around the perimeter, then head back.

Within a couple minutes of stepping onto the trail, it felt like the temperature had dropped. Normally, at this time of year, my shirt-and-shorts combo was plenty sufficient for night jogging, but I found myself starting to shiver a little. Between the temperature and the fog, I’ll probably just head back home once I reach the park. And order a pizza. Makes perfect sense, athletically and financially.

Despite hoping to get my mind off of work, it was all I could think about as I continued along the path. Should I try to find another job working in an office as quickly as possible, no matter what it was, so I could look for something better without worrying about money? Was this an opportunity for me to find something else I enjoyed doing more than watching the clock all day? Would it be smarter to reconnect with my estranged mother after all these years, move in with her, and finish college?

Shuddering at the thought, I regained my focus, noticing that the fog had grown thicker while I was in my own head. On top of that, the ground felt too hard, and not like the somewhat-softer trail I was used to. I was about to make a one-eighty and head back the way I came, when I jogged into a wall.