I walked out of my office and grabbed a bag of hair food and a hot comb then sat down behind my first ever client, Ms. Cher La’ Devene, she had been here when I first opened shop and never left even when I was running it all by myself with a baby nearly on the way…she always tipped me in hundreds and I never knew why but it has to be a mixture of pity, my baby, and simply just an act of kindness from woman to woman. It gets hard out here as a woman even the most privileged woman is reduced to just a woman- no- a female. Reduced to reproduction.

That woman is so generous, she saved me and my baby’s life so many times but she sure know how to run her mouth; however, her stories always made me laugh so ain’t no harm in listening, but she knows how to stretch the truth more than she talks so who the hell knows what she really talkin’ bout?

“JESUS- mi neva even hear yuh COMING- chile yuh get fi let mi kno wen yuh a guh sneak up pan mi, anyways baby now dat yuh finally out dat office, let mi tell yuh sumting CRAZY!” Oh lord lemme get the dryer before she gets heated, I don’t want her making my ears ring for the 4th time this week. “Gyal mi gots mi a NEW man! Di sweetest, young ting you’ll eva meet and he taking mi out. TO. NIGHT! He soooo tall and kind and he’s so gentle wit mi…” Cher says as she fans herself with both hands and giggles like a little schoolgirl, “…even in bed. AH! Him suh much betta dan Charles, all dat mule knows ow fi duh is be an ASS. Him nuh cook, him nah clean, him cyaa clean behind himself, an neva wash fi him ass. Why di man neva duh nice tings fi me? All him kno ow fi duh mek mi hair fall out!” I rolled my eyes so hard they might as well roll to the back of my skull. “EH, EH?? CMON NOW CHER TELL ME WHAT STYLE YA WANT? THIS STILL A SALON and I have other customers so keep it down!” Cher lowers her voice in an embarrassingly loud ‘whisper’ and continues ranting about her new man who just so happens to be a vampire…. She didn’t tell me what style she wants. I’ll just give her the usual.

God. Vampires. Nothing against them I suppose but even someone as somewhat accepting of others as I am, vampires are not on my acceptance list, ESPECIALLY those fucking men. They’re no different from the human men and they all make me sick, every single last one of those greedy bastards. The last time I let myself even LIKE a vampire, all he did was use me. Use me for sex, possibly my money, and gave me a child I would’ve loved to have at least after marriage. I wonder if my family was right about vampires all along…those blood-sucking beasts obsessed with running every industry they can get their cold, half-dead claws on. I’ll be damned if I let myself love another vampire or even a bloody man. Heh. And they call themselves men.

All we women can do is stick together, no wonder half of my clients propose switching to loving another woman instead just as an experiment and the rest come back as full-on lesbians overnight… but I don’t think same-sex relations are for me, at least, I don’t think so. But I’m not letting anyone use me like before, not a man, not a woman, not a person, not a beast, not even the air! And— “Listen mama, nuh let no man use yuh, aight? mi nuh wan yuh tuh end up wit mi luck all dem yah useless men at mi doa an somehow mi still fall fi dem. Maybe find yuhself a girlfriend yuh luk like yuh like girls anyways” Cher announces nonchalantly like she didn’t just call me a homosexual…I look like... a lesbian? "Now Cher, I know you did not say such a thing to my face, out loud, in this entire salon. Let me tell you for the millionth time, Ms. Cher. I do not like women. I like men. NOT W- “ “YOU DON’T EVEN LIKE MEN MAXI! You’ll love it baby, mi pramise pan mi mommy SOUL, God be wid har. Yuh might just find luv among ya own people. Besides dem mek much betta partnas inna di bedroom nuh bady knows yuh bady like yuh own sex, baby.” Just as I’m about to throw up in my mouth from the thought, she gets up from her chair and grabs her bag from behind me, frantically pulling a fancy invitation letter out of her expensive handbag to show me. “Mi get a invitation tuh yuh familys ball. It starts tomorrow an mi wa yuh tuh come wit me!”... A ball?

Since when were they having a ball? And why didn’t they invite me? I know we aren’t on good terms, but would they really go out of their way like this to ignore me and distance themselves from me? “Now Cher. Are you..sure? You know we ain’t getting along at the moment and- “she quickly placed her hand over my mouth to shush me and continued, “Mi neva sey mi a guh tek no fi a ansah. You’re coming tuh ave fun, nuh fi start problem an wi won’t be there all day suh wi cya ave a day tuh ourselves, okay baby?” I nod in silence as she moves her hand from my face, can I really do this without ruining everything though? I don’t want my name hauled through the mud again. I wouldn’t want that for my baby, I’ll be fine regardless of what happens to me. It’s not like I haven’t ruined my reputation already by having a baby out of wedlock, but I wouldn’t have it any other way, they’re my will to live, to keep going, to breathe. “Fine. I’ll go to the party, I’ll don my best apparel, and bring the little one along. No drama, no yelling, no humiliation, all fine. Okay! I’ll do it! But first…” I walk Ms. Cher over back to the wall mirror, fluff up, and pull back her voluminous hair. “Do you like it?

______________________________________

We walked up to the door of my old family home, I can hear all the chatter and music pouring thru the cracks of the door but before I can tidy up and unkink my kanga¹ and then check my baby’s clothes for flaws, Cher practically drags me by wrist hard into the party. “Damn girl, you tryna dislocate my joints!?” I say directly into Cher’s ear with an angry whisper, “Hush up nah! Just luk pretty an enjoy yaself darling let di baby play wid di oddah pickney suh yuh an mi cya nyam up dat snack bar, mi hear dem mek yuh favorite!” My favorite? They couldn’t have done that with me in mind, I certainly doubt that they’d think of me.

We walk in and instantly, all those nosey old coots turn their heads and whisper to themselves like it’s so shocking that I’ve come back to my old home like I don’t belong here like I’m abnormal. It’s virtually amusing how frightened they look. Almost. God, I can’t breathe I don’t think I can do this. Cher slightly nudges my shoulder and gives a reassuring look, “Kip yuh head up let wi get something fi y’all tuh nyam” She’s right, just do what you always do, just keep your head up and bring the Lil one to the snack bar. Got it.

I hold my head up high and straight forward, holding on tight to the sweet, already sleepy little angel in my arms which instantly calms my nerves. People still stare and whisper while the rest turn back around and try to mind their business, as they should. I grab two plates for myself and the little one and fill them to the top, it’s not every day we get to eat this much at least not myself because I’m always trying to make sure my baby grows up big and strong and never feels hungry even when they’re not that hungry. I do everything I can for them the best way I can as a single parent. It’s all I can do.

Suddenly, my older sister, Fatima, pulled me to the side so fast Cher didn’t even notice I was gone, she was too busy stuffing her face to notice anyways. “Maximillion, I haven’t seen you in forever baby sister! How are you? H-how’s- how is your son?” “My CHILD is fine, Fatima. Is there a reason you almost ripped my arm off or you just askin' me dumb questions?” She’s my sister and all but she’s never really been a sister to me, she just acts like that annoying friend you only talk to because they keep talking to you. She’s chatty but awkward and that’s usually what would make conversations with her unbearable if it weren’t for the fact she always dances around her real intentions, not only that but she developed a stutter in her teen years which made it harder to talk to her, but I try to be patient. I just hope she gets to the point this time otherwise I might lose it in front of the little one. “Www- well, I wanted to introduce you to a certain somebody I’ve been seeing… and I always talk about you y-yes yes! They’ve always wanted to meet you and she’s very very nice I’m sure you’ll love her a-a-anddd and- “She brings her hands up as she takes a deep breath, brings them back down, and talks slower. “AND. S-she also wants to introduce you t-tooo someone as w-well.” She sighs and brings over her special little lady friend who just so happens to be a vampire, she immediately shakes my unoccupied hand as the other is holding the little one and starts talking at an incomprehensible speed then says something about meeting her brother. She drags me over to where my Jaddati² and Ummi³ are sitting and I feel a sudden deep tightening in my abdomen like my stomach is eating itself whole and my lungs are shrinking. No, I must stand up straight, stand my ground, I’m not a little girl anymore.

You might be reading a stolen copy. Visit Royal Road for the authentic version.

Next to them sits this gigantic beast with amber-ish yellow glowing eyes and some fancy wooden cane, he’s so tall and hairy I almost mistook him for a werewolf! He’s got to be at least 9 feet tall to be this huge and he’s only sitting down, and God why does he have to look at me like that? I only take a couple of quick side-eyed glances before turning to my mother and grandmother, nodding my head slightly without saying hello. “Maximillion!” My mother says in a fake ass cheery tone, “It’s been so long, we haven’t seen you in a while. Please, sit down and say hello to our new friends!” I turn my entire body to face the family’s two new vampire associates, the girl shakes my hand rather aggressively and says “My name is Lilith, and this is my adorableee little brother! Ain’t that right?” Little, huh? I turn my body towards the ‘little’ brother, in all honesty, he looks the oldest and he’s tall as hell while Lilith is only about 6’5? Many inches taller than me as I stand at a measly 5’10.

“Please Lilith, you’ll embarrass me in front of our new friends.” Holy shit, his voice is deep I can feel the vibrations in my stomach which is honestly not helping my crippling stomach ache. He takes my baby hands into his giant paws and gently shakes them. “My name is Maxibillion, and your name is Maximillion? How interesting, our names are quite similar, don’t you agree?” MAXIBILLION?? I stared at this guy with wide eyes and pursed lips like I just saw a ghost, I keep my lips shut tight as a try to hold in a snicker, but my failed attempts only made it worse. I was already laughing by the second embarrassing snort I just made and laughed so loudly I nearly turned the lavish mansion into a pile of rubbish with one holler. Unfortunately, for the little one, my hootin’ and hollerin’ woke the poor baby up from her nap but I just had to let it out. “MAXIBILLION? THAT’S THE STUPIDEST SHIT I’VE EVER HEARD. OKAY, MY NAME IS MAXIMILLION BUT MAXIBILLION? YOU’VE GOTTA BE JOKIN’. HE’S JOKING, RIGHT?”

Everyone looks at me like I’m off my rocker while this… Maxibillion…guy leans back in his seat and smiles at me all weird, it’s pretty unsettling how he smiles when he has razor-sharp teeth that could tear me apart like piranhas. He might just kill me when the party is over just for making fun of his name and realizing it now, I do not want to be another victim. I can’t afford to end up like the countless people who went out with a person who turned out to be a vampire in disguise, they were also victims of being bitten, and soon it turned into something much more serious and people either survived, walking among us or died because their bodies couldn't handle the transformation process. Everyone’s always a victim these days so you never know who to trust and with that smile, Maxibillion gave me I’m not sure if I’ll be next but what I do know now is that he was not joking. His name really is Maxibillion…fuck.

“My dear Maximillion, I am very serious about my name, however, I’m pleased to see it got you to laugh and let loose. We should talk more, Maxi, I’m starting to take a liking to you already.” My mother and grandmother give each other a half-confused half surprised look and I’m already starting to worry, I would’ve liked to decline his request if it weren’t for his supposedly older sister, Lilith, rushing between us “I THINK THAT IS A FANTASTIC IDEA, MAXI WHY DON’T YOU TWO GO TALK SOMEWHERE MORE PRIVATE!” I see what’s happening here and I hate it already. I’m not stupid, I’m in my 30s but they must think I’m slow that’s exactly what they fucking think they think I’m not smart enough to see why they really brought me over here. They’re the slow ones I swear one of these days I’m going to snap then no one will hear from me again. They were just trying to play fucking matchmaker with me, and it had to be with some snobby rich crippled vampire. How sweet of them. Even his nice sister was in on it. Why didn’t I see it when she grabbed me by the arms to meet her ‘adorable baby brother’ the effing nerve.

Maxi billion turns to me and smiles creepily again, “Why Lilith that sounds like a wonderful idea, what do you say, Maximillion? I roll my eyes and nod. Alright, here’s the plan, just let him talk for a bit, excuse yourself and be polite about cutting the conversation short, then share the rest of your night with your real best friend, Cher. Got it. Whatever gets this over with the quickest.

As we walk away together, towards the mansion’s garden, we wander around a bit in silence till Maxibillion disturbs my peace say, “I’ve heard many things about you, Maximillion, but what about your side? People can say what they want and spread as many rumors as they can think of, but I want to know the truth. What are you really like underneath that face?” No. That’s it. I’m on his ass. “Now, let’s get one thing straight, Mr. MAXIBILLION. You don’t know me, and I don’t know you and I’m not about to spill all my thoughts and private details of my character to you or anyone. I’m not letting anyone have another chance to talk about me behind my back and I’m sure not giving you and the rest of ya blood-sippin’ buddies anything to talk bout. I came out here with you just to get this over with and go have some real fun with my best friend that I’ll be leaving with by the end of the night.” He stands there completely still, leaning on his cane and smirking like this shit is funny, it’s not funny and he’s lucky I didn’t point that out or I’ll really be yelling. “I’m not about to wake my baby up from their nap again so you best get to steppin’ befo I pick your shriveled up prune dick off wit a pair a TONGS ya hear?" I quickly turn around and make it back to the party as I hold my sweet angel close to me, trying not to wake them, thank God he didn’t try to chase me and bite my head off, but I don’t doubt he’d try. This just isn’t my night, but the kid barely got to have some fun the way I been tugged and dragged around by every person in the building. You’re doing your best, Maxi, you’re doing your best.

Suddenly, Cher appears before me and starts asking all the questions about where I’ve been and what I was doing but honestly, I’m already so tired from the social interaction that I wanted to go back to the shop, but I just got here so I might as well try to muster up some energy before I completely drop dead. “Maxi? Yuh luk nauseous baby come sidung an nyam sup’m, Mi get sup’m fi di likkle one. Tek it easy, okay?” I nod and wake up sleeping beauty from their unbreakable nap so they can eat as well and as soon as we finish our meals, I’ve forgotten all about that Maxibillion guy. Heh. Maxibillion. It's still a stupid name.

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1. Kanga- a colourful fabric similar to kitenge, but lighter, worn by women and occasionally by men throughout the African Great Lakes region.

2. Jaddati- Grandmother in standard Arabic

3. Ummi- Mother in standard Arabic

Cher's dialogue translation: "Jesus girl I didn’t even hear you coming- Chile you gotta let a girl know when you gonna sneak up on her, anyways baby now that you finally out that office, lemme tell you something CRAZY."

“Girl I gots me a NEW man! The sweetest, young thing you’ll EVER meet and he’s taking me out. TO. NIGHT! He’s soooo tall and kind and he’s so gentle with me…”

“…even in bed”

He’s so much better than Charles. All that mule knows how to do is be an ASS. He doesn’t cook he don’t clean he can’t clean behind himself and wash his ass. Why the man never do kind things for me? All he know how to do is make my hair fall out!”

“Listen mama, don’t let no man use you, aight? I don’t want you to end up with my luck, all these useless men at my door and somehow I still fall for them. Maybe find yourself a girlfriend, you look like you like girls anyways.”

“YOU DON’T EVEN LIKE MEN MAXI! Try women! You’ll love it baby I promise on me mommy SOUL, God be with her, you might just find love among ya own people. Besides, they make much betta partners in the bedroom, no one knows your body like your own sex, baby.”

“I got an invitation to your family’s ball. It starts tomorrow and I want YOU to come wit me!”

“I didn’t say I was gon take no for an answer. You’re coming to have fun, not to start problem. And we won’t be there all day so we can have a day to ourselves, okay baby?”

“Hush up nah! Just look pretty and enjoy yaself darling. Let the baby play with the other kids so you and I can eat up that snack bar, I heard they made your favorite!”

“Keep your head up, let’s get something for y’all to eat.”

“Maxi? You look nauseous baby come sit down and eat something, I’ll get something for the little one. Take it easy, okay?”