"At times, those of the Starband seek to bring gifts to the living, so they carry star-stuff back through the clouds to us, even if it means their true end. The stones are heavy, and they burn, falling at great speeds through the skies. Our ancestor's spirits try to slow the stones down so something will still be left when they reach the ground. They succeed when the star-stuff survives impact, but failures leave only streaks in the air."

--Fable of the Starstones.

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She wandered lonely through the streets of the Shrine Island community, threading her way among the unfamiliar Qard that lived there. A faint feeling of anger that the setting evoked soon faded as she studied the city built by her people in ancient times. She never realized the ruins she knew all her life once looked like this. Maybe someday these memories could help her restore them.

"Magnificent, isn't it?" someone asked her. She turned to see a draconic featured alien who gestured broadly at the vistas he also seemed to be exploring. "Are you from one of the outer islands?"

"Ah, yes," she said, as it seemed correct that she didn't come from here. She introduced herself, "I'm Rae."

He laid a clawed hand on his chest, "Hanet." He gazed at her admiringly, looking away when she crossed her arms, uncomfortable. "It's a pity someone so attractive has no companion with them."

A flicker of anger bubbled up inside her and faded again. "I did, but we had a… disagreement." She looked down, relieved that she wore practical clothes. "Nice meeting you," she lied, "but I have to go." She walked away.

Behind her, the pleasant tones of his voice turned gruff, "It would be better if you stayed. You will suffer otherwise!" She kept walking as the light around her was consumed by darkness. She could still hear his voice as it it followed her, "Very well, then.”

...In the darkness, Rae found a column of light, and floating within it was a massive book bound in strips of contrasting metals. On the page it opened to was a scene she was familiar with, picked out in arrays of gems; the introduction of Berek to society. In Conté, her people's tongue, the label read 'Ascension.’ The following page was a graphic and twisted depiction of the rape and murder of an alien female by a monstrous wyvern, the amethysts depicting her blood pooled on and dripping past the lower boundary of the frame. It was called 'The Death of Laiyal.’ She had to take a breath before she turned the thick page.

She cried out in pain at the image after, labeled 'Embracing the Wind.’ Young Berek's face was framed by the Catacomb doors, wracked with grief. The edges of his head and shoulders were blending into the background colors as pale motes drifted backward from him. The imagery pricked too near the still-raw wounds inside for her to look at without tears. Hurriedly Rae turned the page to another gory scene, showing a furious Thane with the blue-green Crysfire Gem aflame on his brow as her grandfather butchered the wyvern with his blazing sword. Deep sapphires of the beast's blood arched out from its wounds in arterial sprays, splattering inside and outside the frame. 'The Questioner's Execution.’

Fumbling, Rae revealed the next page. It showed a closeup of the kite-shaped Gem shattering apart into countless shards, leaving a dimmer and smaller round gem as the remnant of its core. The label simply said 'Judgment.’ The following page was a complex geometric pattern, and as she turned the page again, she saw a double image spread. Together they were labeled 'Devastation,’ and the first depicted a fleet of starships firing down on Shrine Island, destroying the shining towers. For the first time, the image held text because the nearest ship had 'Laiyal's Revenge' picked out on its hull in Conté. The second image showed a visibly exhausted Thane wearing the round gem core, trying to lead his dispirited people to fight back. But dozens of the Qard figures were sagging, some only trailing a few motes, others entirely engulfed in them. The path of the soul particles all led to the pitch black of the Catacombs entrance.

The next page showed an injured Thane gathering the survivors among the burning ruins and leading them through a portal, the brightest part of the image. The label said, 'Exile.’ There were no more gemmed images after that. The new ones were sculpted bits of many kinds of metal assembled to create a scene instead of being fashioned of carefully arranged gemstones. The artistry was just as exquisite as the originals, but the new medium felt less ostentatious. The first of the new format showed a far older Thane looking sorrowfully on a mere handful of his people on a cooling planet, as yet more streamers of motes fountained off into the sky. It was labeled 'Extinction?’ The remnant gem core depicted was shaped from shards of of the original Crysfire Gem, which was the only crystal used in these new images.

The second of the new images next showed her grandfather placing the gem core on her father’s forehead, as a barely adult Danel Oėn knelt before him. The young face of Perin, her mother, could be seen among the few witnesses. The label said, 'Tainted Inheritance.’ The last image arguably showed herself, as if made by someone who'd only heard her description. A younger Rae knelt in front of two glowing figures crafted in luminescent metals. The greater figure was the Light in its humanoid guise, and the lesser was the Light's messenger. The scene she remembered from her past showed the restored Crysfire Gem placed on her forehead, the depiction fashioned from another bit of shard. It was labeled, 'Future's Hope?’

There were no more images after that, so she closed the book. As soon as she did, the book disappeared. She still stood in the circle of light amidst the darkness, but now she heard faint noises beyond the light. Suggestions of movement and glints of eyes told her something was circling her, something big. "Do you believe that Evil ever dies, pup?" came sibilant words from the blackness. The voice was deep, laced with an undercurrent of growls. "Because I can assure you, it does not."

"Nice of you to classify yourself on that side of the fence, big guy," she shot back. Its words were intended to be intimidating, and deep inside, she was. Her jaw clenched, and she straightened her back. She would never show her fear to bullies.

Wild hissing laughter, like a feverish steam train, roiled around her. "So bold, little pup. You should be more respectful. You've already seen what I can do." The head and wings of the wyvern became visible as it glowered down at her, limned faintly by the light above them.

She raised an eyebrow coolly. "I've seen worse." She examined her nails critically. "Gramps did a number on you, after."

"With a weapon you no longer possess," it retorted. The wyvern moved further into the light, flicking out a snake's tongue as long as her leg. "I will have you and all that you hold dear. You'll surrender to me, or I'll crush your will. Either way, you'll be mine." Deliberately, she turned her back in defiance as it continued to speak. "It is amusing that the dusty old bauble still cannot stop your people from spreading themselves upon the winds, like the Elder you just lost."

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...Outraged, Rae whirled to glare at…? and her helmet clanged hard against the stone. She heard the wind still keening into the dig. A quiet whine in the back of her throat triggered a painful bout of coughing, fortunately without bringing up blood this time. For the Light's sake, she was trembling because of a little wind and the fading nightmare. She curled in a ball in the back of the dig tucked behind the beginnings of a column. Her breath caught every time a wind gust disturbed the tools piled near the entrance. Clink… Rattle… A thousand years old, and at the moment, she felt every bit the immature kid her elders thought her to be.

"You know, between the two of us, I think I wear it better," said a masculine voice.

She nearly jumped out of her skin. 'By the Light!' There was a dim bluish light in the dig. Gingerly, she peered out from her hiding place. Sitting on a shelf of rock not far from her was… herself. Sort of. A male phase version of herself, wearing the uniform that went with her helmet. But instead of the bright colors she remembered, his form was tinted over with a dark teal wash. Gray pieces of some kind of plate armor laid over the top of it.

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He leaned forward crookedly in mockery of her pose. "You seemed so pathetic back there, whimpering, I thought I'd keep you company."

'Who the hell are you?' Rae thought to him. Between the winds and this… apparition, her mental balance was faltering.

"I'm your Shadow," he said with a cold tone of voice. "The darkness you're wrestling with inside. Since you won't be honest with yourself, I will have to be."

Her Id had a form and a voice, it seemed. She shook her head, realizing just how badly she was losing it now she was talking to herself.

Her shadow self summoned a darkling replica of her oathband to himself. "It's just as well that you set the mongrel human aside. He's unworthy of us." He mangled the replica with his hands and tossed it carelessly away.

Rae let out an audible hissing noise. 'You don't know what you're talking about!'

"Mortals are inherently treacherous," the Shadow said. "Or need I remind you of your first mortal lover. Remember Raliard? Tall, well-built starship pilot? Never let it be said you don't have a type."

'No…' she moaned.

"So kind. So handsome. So very homophobic," the Shadow said relentlessly. "And what happened was completely your fault, although you've blamed everyone but yourself. You hadn't told him that you Changed between genders before you slept with him." Shadow came to loom over her. "You knew most carbon-based mortals were hetero and that most heteros didn't respond well to those who blur the lines..."

She tried to cover her ears, a useless proposition when wearing a full helmet. 'Shut up! Shut up!'

"You Changed to male phase after the intercourse, and in the morning, you found he'd abandoned you after you'd taken such care not to harm him." His words cut through her careful segregation of those memories, bringing back the repressed emotions she'd buried with them. He crouched in front of Rae's cubby as she pressed as far back as she could against the solid rock. "What did you feel when you stomped off to look for him?"

Anger. Annoyance. The feelings poured through her again, as fierce as they were back then. Embarrassment. Betrayal. Her trembling increased, and tears streamed from her eyes. She knew what came next.

"And you found him, inside his trader ship, splayed across the bunk in his quarters. His charred and liquefying brains slowly dribbling down the wall behind him, bolt gun still loosely held in one hand." He took hold of her helmet so she couldn't even turn her head away. "The disgusting odors of his voided bladder and bowels filling the closed-up room." The scents from her memory overwhelmed her senses again.

"And even worse than the effluvia was the note he'd left for you on his screen. The one explaining that he felt you probably hadn't meant any harm and that it was just what you were. But you should have told him you were unnatural, so he would have known not to be with you. By the tenets of his people, he had no choice but to cleanse his soul by taking his own life." He let go of her, and her head lolled as she gasped, starving for air.

Rae's eyes followed her darkling self as he moved back to sit on the rock shelf. "It took you a long time to apparently recover, but you didn't really. You were 50-something years old, barely more than a child, and you've clung to that pain for your whole life. Every time you lose someone close to you, the pain flares up again." He cocked his head, and his voice turned into a whisper. "Tell me, Rae. Have you lost anyone lately?"

She convulsed in momentary seizure, blocking her visor with her fists. When she could lower them again, the Shadow was gone, leaving her raw and alone. Forced to confront the memories of her past, she thought of what happened afterward. She'd went to a distant mountaintop and spent the next year in silence, building a grand castle. The solitude and work eventually scabbed over the rawness of her wound. That was why she came here, she realized, to heal enough to make herself functional, outwardly at least. A millennium of distance and experience let her understand now that Raliard's death was his own volition, but she still held herself partly culpable.

The quiet in the dig drew Rae's attention. She listened intently around her, then slowly pulled her helmet off. The wind gusts and rattling were mainly gone. With a sigh of relief, she unwound herself from the back corner. There was still some rain coming down, but the storm was pretty much over. How much time had she lost since it started? She suddenly needed to get outside. Rae headed for her goggles when she kicked something across the floor. Looking down, she flinched. It was the bit of metal that Shadow mangled, and it was right there… proving it happened. She stepped gingerly around the lump, picked up the goggles, triggering her board to follow.

Rae moved the pallets and took the skyboard back to the crag’s top. She dangled her feet over the rain-soaked precipice, activating a holo keyboard on her lenses. Her fingers tested the notes, as she decided what to play. The wobble inside her was worse; she could feel it. Bringing up her hands, she began playing the opening notes of Moonlight Sonata's first movement. Nearly halfway through came the first fumbled note. More wrong notes followed until she lost the melody entirely.

Rae leaned back, staring at her hands dumbly until her vision swam, and she seized uncontrollably. Pitching over the edge, she tumbled hundreds of meters down the plateau's side, hitting every jagged rock on the way. Rae slid to a stop at the bottom, bruised and bleeding. When she could move again, her fingers probed a gash at her left temple, fingertips colored by the oozing silver. Rae struggled to sit up before deciding she was fine as she was, crumpled on the dirt.

An uncomfortable and unfamiliar feeling welled in her, making her belly contract painfully as if she wanted to expel something from inside. But there was nothing there, and it wasn't even something her people could do anyway. Rae only placed the sick feeling from Jeol's human memories he'd shared with her. Qards retained everything they consumed, converted into body tissues, or stored as increased density until burned to fuel their strength or psi. Another cramp hit her, and she wished she could vomit just to experience the relief afterward that the memories promised. But there was no relief to be found, and the oscillations inside were reaching a dangerous pitch...

'Child,' said a vaguely familiar mental voice, 'if you wish to preserve the work you have done here, you must go to the place you prepared.'

Rae looked up, and the black gryphon stood over her, looking concerned. She reached up for her goggles but didn't find them, squinting at where she'd tumbled down the plateau's side. 'Need… my board.'

The beast pinned its ears back and huffed, 'We don't have time for this.' Sitting on its haunches, it gathered her up with its talons, cradling her gently against its breast of soft black feathers. She leaned her head into the softness, hanging limp as the gryphon launched into the air and flew to the south like an arrow. Her fingers gently worked between the breast feathers, stoking the down underneath. The gryphon's beak carded through her hair in return. 'Child, can you hear me?' it asked sometime later. Rae responded with a mental hum.

'You need to understand that not all is as it seems to you. You are being lied to by forces of darkness and your own mind. Dedicate yourself to the truth, and you will succeed.'

'...Kay,' she thought sleepily, and after some time, she felt their flight slowing.

'We are here. When I release you, try to warn the surrounding creatures before you let loose your pain. You have been so strong, but it's time to let it all go.'

Rae withdrew her fingers and smoothed down the feathers she'd rucked up. She looked up at the gryphon's blue eyes, glowing brightly in the dusk of evening. Nodding, it released her. Agony slammed her as the bubble of calm numbness around her burst. She wanted to scream and never stop but managed to swallow it down. Instead, she sent out her pain psychically, while flaring out waves of heat and kinetic pressure.

The sluggish lava in the caldera below her heaved up and surged, and a thick plume of gas and ashes shot upwards, charging the air. Instinctively she altered her electrical charge, sparking the first, fat bolt of lightning to strike her from the gathering murky clouds. More flashed from her and the clouds to the ground, which responded with bolts forking upwards. The peak trembled and shook as the eruption began. Molten ejecta started firing upwards, and she remembered what her plan had been.

Shaping the force waves flowing from her towards the sea, Rae directed the lightning bolts emitting from her at the south rim, creating a closed circuit between herself and her target. Grimly, she kept weakening the crater’s south side until it breached, sending strong pyroclastic flows out into the ocean waves. Her goal accomplished; she allowed the forces to go as they would. In a pause of the lightning strikes, she saw a glimpse of the gryphon silhouetted against the glowing ashy clouds, lit with actinic blue from above, and lurid orange from below.

It all poured endlessly out of her until there was nothing left. Her skin withered and pulled taut over her bones as her energies guttered low. Rae fell, no longer able to levitate herself over the lava. She sank under the surface, gulping some of it down as she thrashed herself upwards. Her head broke into the air, and she swam weakly to the edge of the molten pool, drinking periodically. Crawling out of the shallows onto the smoldering rocks, she collapsed, unable to do more.