“Ha. Ha. Ha. So funny,” he clicked his immaterial tongue and rolled a pair of non-existent eyes whilst inside his inventory once more. Only because one orb held the product of yesterday’s work

Shit-stained ruined hide.

So much for his plan working in the slightest. He just disposed of the waste through his crafting grid and went back to thinking about the process of creating leather. After yesterday’s fright of the giant pit, he ate the smoked beef and spent the next few hours carving ox totems in preparation for the new ritual. Around nightfall, he went back home and slept like a log, but finished three shoddy totems in time to merge them into a finished product.

The next morning, he woke up refreshed and with a good idea of what to do that day. But before he jumped into anything, he temporarily took the leather off to check on its progress, and…

“I have to kill another cow, don’t I?” He groaned at the realisation, and decided to take a huge slab of meat the size of his arm, and cooked it in the oven with a lump of fat. As it quickly melted, the whole lump of meat sizzled and seared whilst he looked around for some sorts of herbs to increase the things flavour. In the process of searching, he said, “Some roast potatoes or carrots would be great too. Actually, just any veg… And herbs or spices, seriously, give me some flavour too.”

Unsurprisingly, he didn’t find much. The plains features some mint and sage plants, but only the latter worked for a meat dish.

Not to say mint sauces are bad… His preferences just laid in some more basic territories.

In this case, slabs of meat with some butter and herbs.

With the sprigs of sage washed and added to his sizzling dish, the meat cooked through over the course of 25 minutes to leave an exceptional medium to well done slab with heavy charring on its surface.

After pulling it out, with great caution, he left it to rest for 15 minutes and finally tuck in using his hands.

Whilst mostly meaty in taste, he certainly enjoyed using his jaw like this. It’d been so long that when he chewed it left him feeling happy, although his lack of hunger meant that the food just tasted nice. With nothing to fill, he chewed and chewed until his body actually felt a bit full.

Of course, he’d been told by the village that this fullness more so warned him that any further food did nothing for his regeneration capabilities.

Ate several times that quantity?

Not a problem! As for how it dealt with waste… Well, he refused to believe that this body even produced any. A pointless fact, but in fact an outstandingly useful ability on its own. Too bad animals still had to eat, drink, and defecate however often they did so.

“Right, my goals,” he slapped his cheeks a couple times to remind himself of the immediate plan. “Set up a farm for most generic plants, and find out where seeds are grown in them.” While it sounded like an extremely simple trip, there existed a slight problem of farming requiring seeds. Harvested crops might not grow seeds directly… And that meant finding out what allowed them to flower or develop them.

Also, he concluded in advance that plants in general never needed germination. In the past week he hadn’t seen a single bee, or even a fly for that matter. That gave enough evidence for his thoughts. Unless a strange creature he’d never seen somehow replace this function of various flying creatures in the animal kingdom.

For the most part, that turned his day into a strange quest. He walked, tested, and harvested anything which came back positive as a vegetables inside the cube, and eventually even came across some strawberry bushes. Whilst not massive, he noted that most matched his thumb in size, although a few were several times larger. All in all, none of the fruits or vegetables were that different from the sorts on Earth. And with that, he quickly began separating them and finding where each plant stored its seeds.

Lettuce and cabbage stored seeds in the centre of the plant, these were stored in small pods which even resisted his full strength. It took a knife to cut it open whereupon he squeezed out the mass of seeds covered in a slimy coating.

This was a similar feature in many plants. Carrots contained a similar seed pod near the connection between shoot and root. Potatoes were… strange. They contained seed pods which grew directly off the potato itself.

Cauliflower, broccoli, cucumber, tomato, onions, and so on. All of them contained either seeds or bulbs tucked away inside them.

The onion core itself was a set of tiny bulbs, between one to four such things.

Strawberries, grapes, and melons for the fruits side… He realised just how any grew on trees from this as well. The lack of such things in the plains summed up the reason he gathered so few though.

This story has been stolen from Royal Road. If you read it on Amazon, please report it

Grapes were strange, as each grape instead stored between one to two seeds. The strawberries grew tiny seeds beneath their leaves, the ones which coat the strawberry don’t actually grow into anything. Lastly, melons featured a mass of seeds in their centre, and that finished all the crops he found.

Out of flavour, he found the melon, onions, and carrots tasted best. However, that’s not to say the cucumber failed to refresh him, or the tomatoes were a disgusting mush.

Each one certainly felt fresh, both in hand and in mouth…

But they tasted bland at best. If he bought these in a supermarket he might have complained for a few moments whilst cooking before a heavy coat of salt and spiced covered that issue. But out here he expected the naturally grown produce, straight off the vine, to taste its best! With disappointment inbound, he tilled a dozen more rows and dedicated a crop to each. Yes, even the worse tasting ones.

He looked out to the plot of land with its lines of raised beds, and pointed to them one at a time whilst recalling what resided in each. “A load of hemp over there. Potatoes, lettuce, tomatoes, carrots, cauliflower, broccoli, onions, strawberries, grapes, melons… I need some sticks for the tomatoes and grapes. Damn...” He sighed and trudged over to the nearby forest to gather 30 more sticks.

There were not transformed into crop sticks though, on account of there only being one such recipe and that it required two hearts of flowers.

With the two tilled rows receiving 15 sticks each, equally spaced to the best of his abilities, he quickly decided to use the final two rows for additional potatoes and onions. From what he knew, the former was an incredibly hearty plant, whilst the other effectively works as flavouring in any savoury dish.

Though, he knew that a week from now there’d be more veg than he could eat in a month.

Possibly even feed a family of ten as well!

“There! The farm’s finally set up now! Roast potato, carrot and onions, cooked with a lump of beef and fat for flavouring. Some damn nice food.” His head nodded along with the thought of such a meal. Anyone who ever wished for this superpower was an utter buffoon in his opinion.

Sure, not needing food is a great ability… But you’re going to eat anyway if you have access to food. How often did a person in his home actually starve?

Probably not the best question to ask, in retrospect.

Anyway, he looked forward to food. That summarised all his thoughts on the matter pretty well.

So, the obvious thing came next. Joey removed his cuirass and vambraces, then walked over to the river in just his leaf skirt to begin the second ritual. Unlike the ritual of the ox which required a fire, he knew he could complete the serpent one in any flowing water, and if he truly visited the village tomorrow, he could get the next rune’s ritual on top of the ox.

So, with the windchime in hand, he dropped the totem into the waist deep water and watched it sink to the stone littered bottom as though made of steel. The totem did not twist or fall on its side though, landing precisely on its base before it resisted the flow of water completely.

He knew of this specific effect, and began to shake the windchime once every four beats. Light clanging as the metal rings collided were soon dulled by the rushing rapids, however, he didn’t despair and quickly began the ritual former.

First he scooped up a handful of water and drank it all without waiting, the process instantly reduced the force of water which pushed him, and so began more shaking. Wind picked up as he shook, its high pitched jingles audible to only him and the river, as though not only he, but the wind itself attempted to communicate with the flow of water.

Calmness spread around him, and for a moment it felt as though the river itself parted its flow, so much so that he forgot that he even stood in the running water. He eventually came to and reached the final part, where the river transformed into rapids and only one step remained.

To face away from the totem and bow down until his face completely submerged. However, this bow required two specific things. His legs remained completely straight, instead, he bent his back and neck to completely descend, but here the calmness below the water revealed itself.

The chimes remained in his hand, and the water bubbled. It churned and swept past him, and even almost knocked him down…

Then the wave came over him.

It crashed into his bent back, completely threw him about, and in just a few moments he found himself clawing his way back to the shore, only to realise something incredible.

On top of the rapids, a large wave rode down the narrowing stream, in no way extended onto the shores of the river, but in the totem’s place he saw a strange square shaped piece of wood. He rushed into the water to grab it, and indeed saw some wood.

Besides the pale pine appearance, its smooth outer layer was damp, but left no actual water on his hands no mater how he touched or gently squeezed.

On this square faced piece of wood, about half an inch thick, he saw a set of two wavy lines with a vertical one through the middle of the two decorated it. A brand new rune compared to the owl one, and even the box confirmed its name to be rune of the serpent. He successfully completed the ritual…

And almost drowned in the process, but small issue.

“I’d really like it if every ritual didn’t involve something devastating happening just inches from my head,” he complained to himself whilst lying at the river’s side and drying off in the warm sun.

Its bright rays kept the wet body warm, and he purposely took off the skirt to quicken the drying time for every part.

Before long, he finally felt dry to the touch and returned to the oak tree where he put the hemp trousers and cuirass back on for safety, then began to consider what came next.

Tomorrow he’d leave for the village a second time. But what else could he do in the mean–

His hand wrapped around the necklace lying on top of his cuirass, and said, “I should probably build that before it rains again. I think that’s two days away.” More than enough time, but he finally had to stop messing about and actually make the building. Soon, a breakthrough would occur.

A massive one at that.