[Vitaberry Bush] – 5 Cores (Monster, level 16+) + Core (Expatriate) + Essence (Vitus, 1.5L) + Essence (Sanguin, 2L) + Blood (Expatriate, 5L) + Blood (Monster, level 21+, 0.5L) + Bone (level 26+, 0.2kg) + 3 Bone (level 21+, 0.05kg) + [Cauldron] (Any, 10L, 375°K)
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Keep moving. Just a little further.
The howls of distant creatures were on the horizon as Jay stumbled through this terrible land.
The Nightrealm. The place between realities, its materials composed of pure thought. Jay had only been here once before, the last time he’d used [Forbidden Knowledge].
But this time was different. He checked the Guide to confirm his suspicions.
Sanity – 43/43 (Cursed)
Yes. Despite the growing insanity, Jay could still keep track of a few key details. The last time he’d wandered into this place, it had happened when his sanity fell below the twenties.
Perhaps it was the emotional turmoil unleashed. Now divorced from the fugue state of his intensified bloodlust, he could understand the world through a more rational lens. Murdering that stranger hadn’t just pulled them to the brink of death, but created a scenario in which they’d both been driven mad. An explosion of raw emotion, expressed through a tryst bathed in blood.
After all, it wasn’t just Jay that had found himself here. That guy had been pulled into this nightmare before the end, captured by that same web of fear.
Could it really be so easy to find oneself here? Was all that tethered them to Annwyn a mere collation of rational thoughts? Did they lose this anchor the moment they dared to invite those dark thoughts? It was unfathomable to consider that such a small outburst could have driven them here.
And yet, here he was again.
Jay rubbed his scalp, the sky darkening still. It didn’t matter how he’d entered the Nightrealm again, only that he escape in time.
He grimaced at the sight of his Guide, knowing how little of his life remained.
Sanity – 41/41 (Cursed)
There wasn’t much time. Not with the Curse still slithering tighter into his mind.
Jay doubled back, knowing he’d need his weapon first. The rocks were easy to grab within the Nightrealm, having been perverted into edges that were sharp and easy to hold. Jay scaled the cliff where he had fallen, ignoring the Wounds he’d sustained.
The ambush had gone poorly. Trapped in the euphoria of Curse, Jay had gone in without thought, losing his sword almost immediately. The two men had grappled against each other from there before falling into this pit.
Thankfully, even though he’d fallen out of Annwyn, his scimitar seemed to have slipped through as well. He gripped the familiar owlbear-leather hilt, the pig iron blade dull under this starless sky.
It was time to go home.
Jay marched back. Though Annwyn’s terrain had become twisted and transformed beneath this nightmarish sky, the general layout remained the same. The hills, the trees, the mountains, the sun itself.
It was the last that proved his guiding star. Jay moved through an unreal jungle with the light of the sun as his guide. Palms turned gray rose to his flank, and bushes shaped as tentacles swayed instead of reeds. The very earth slithered beneath his feet where the mud had once been, a living creep that seemed attuned to each step.
The horizon melted and reformed the further he traveled, his course never quite as straight as it first appeared. The longer he moved, the more apparent it became that distances and angles could not be adequately conveyed. They were still close, but not precise. One hundred paces forth would invariably send him off-course, even if he could turn around and see a straight path.
No wonder Seams to this place occur naturally within cairns. They also sat on the fringe of this realm. One might call them portals in themselves. A passive madness that leaked into Annwyn, reaping the destruction that came with them.
But still, Jay persisted, dragging himself across this corrupted land. He could not stop. He could not slow. Not until the recipe was complete.
There was no other way. Not with this foreign will pressing ever more into him.
That was the power of the Curse. Unlike his regular sanity drops, Jay’s decisions weren’t being impaired by irrationality.
They were being hijacked altogether.
Not that he cared right now. The recipe had to be fulfilled. The world needed to see this brilliant creation!
He chuckled, gazing upon this beauty in his mind again.
Suddenly, the sun dimmed further. Blackened clouds rushed across the starless sky, darkness mingling with twilight to create a mosaic of near-identical colors folded over itself. As Jay stared into this newfound abyss, they slowly took form, wriggling together into something new entirely before collapsing into the sun. Like ink spilled across a bulb, the sun turned from yellow to pale with a tint of crimson red beneath.
Beams of this fell light slithered upon his spot, and Jay staggered a foot, an unfathomable power pressing ever tighter onto him.
He knew who’d manifested at once.
Hello again, Jay Reis, Tül’Rah said, his godly voice deep and booming as it resounded directly into his mind.
Jay clenched a fist. “What do you want?”
I am here to observe your progress, of course. My, my. What have you gotten yourself into this time?
“Nothing I can’t get through.” He limped ever further, trying his best to ignore the growing sense of despair.
Is that so? Tül’Rah mocked. Then why are you here again?
“I didn’t choose to be here.”
The sun guffawed, lightning and thunder manifesting along its rim. Jay shuddered again, but did not let himself slow down.
Tül’Rah scoffed, his tone ever harsher. Everything is a choice and nothing is, Jay Reis. ‘Tis all but a distinction without a difference. A fever dream you mortals composed in defense of your own fragile dreams.
Jay ignored the jibe, pressing forth with all his strength.
Do you consider yourself to be unshackled from your own fate? he continued. Do you think you are ever truly free from us?
“I just think you’re an asshole,” Jay said.
But Tül’Rah’s voice grew louder, boring deeper into the recesses of his mind like tentacles sliding beneath his skull.
You may not belong to me yet, Tül’Rah said, but you don’t belong to yourself either, just as is the case with any other mortal.
Jay shrugged off the added weight, sword still in hand. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Even with the world shifting ever more and a blurring wall at the edge of his vision, he could just make out his home, sitting atop the plateau, with a waterfall behind, and the harbor below.
He needed only reach that point before it was too late.
Distant howls grew louder, the monstrous residents of this alien plane honing in on him again.
“I won’t let you stop me,” Jay said, sensing the trap.
Tül’Rah laughed, a harrowing discharge against the world beneath. You will never have the freedom you crave.
“And why is that?” Jay asked.
Because there is no such thing. For you, for me, for anyone. Freedom is but an illusion conjured by those incapable of seeing outside themselves. When you observe the worlds from their outer lenses, you understand that nothing is independent. Not even in the depths of your subconscious do you hold any power.
“Shut up!” Jay said, batting aside these foreign thoughts.
He couldn’t slow down. Not for a second.
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The monsters were closing in.
You are nothing but the sum composition of everything that came before, he continued. Your every action informs the next, and the next, and the next. From your first second of consciousness until the last, you follow in the footsteps left behind by your past and future selves. The harder you struggle against the fate, the more you become trapped.
That is the nature of all derivations of life. No more than marionettes ensnared by their own causal prisons. There is no freedom. Not even in death will you have escaped your fate. You’ll merely have fulfilled the role assigned to you by those of a higher plane.
Jay stumbled again, his Wounds catching up to him. He huffed in air, but his muscles could no longer keep up.
No, it wasn’t that. Tül’Rah’s words were wearing him down, more than he realized. It wasn’t just the existential dread in his heart, but an added aura beneath. A will that was not his own.
And the recipe still burned bright in his mind’s eye.
“You’re responsible for this,” Jay realized. “Whenever I use [Forbidden Knowledge], that puts you in the driver’s seat of my own mind, doesn’t it? That’s why I never feel in complete control as soon as I use that skill. The Curse comes from your will infecting my own.”
The crackle nearly shattered the land around.
His patron God boomed. You are half-right, Jay Reis. I saw the barriers in your prison and opened doors to fresh chambers. None of what you experience is untrodden land in the depths of your soul. It is merely the only option available in this moment, just as it has always been.
You killed those men because you chose to. Because you wanted to. Because you always would have done so. My intervention was just another thread in this tapestry. A cog in the grand machine of your life.
This is the nature of your true self exposed, Jay Reis. A darkness you relish in. The Grand Bargain was assigned to you for this reason. The Brood Mother will never be defied.
Just a little further, Jay told himself. Hisses grew louder, and Jay could see the impossible shapes of the creatures pursuing him. Their faces melded and molded, and their dimensions grew and waned. Sometimes with two legs, sometimes with four. Claws turned into tentacles and back again, and eyes sprouted and dissipated.
But he was almost there. Almost home. The moment he entered camp, he’d finish the Vitaberry Bush and be free from this Curse. All he’d have to do is finish th–
Jay suddenly froze in place, his body locked by something new.
Tül’Rah stopped laughing. Hmm?
What was he doing? He was right there. So close to camp. Ready to end this recipe and be free to be himself.
And yet…
He could…
…
…
The monsters closed in, but Jay merely twisted in place, facing them head-on.
Tül’Rah said nothing, the sky once again quiet.
What was he doing? This went against every instinct he’d ever had. To stand still when the escape was right there was about as illogical as it went. He should have taken this win right now.
But a different sense had come over Jay. From the pit of his heart, it rose out, pushing back against everything else. The insanity, the power of the Curse, even his rational thinking, now commanding every fiber of his being.
What was this feeling?
This new, stranger sense.
…
…
One that didn’t ask questions, that was for sure.
…
The monsters grew into a charge, aiming right for his spot.
But Jay didn’t run. A smirk spread across his cheeks instead.
“What’s wrong?” Jay mocked, turning to the sky above. “You don’t seem so happy anymore.”
The tendrils in his brain weakened further, even as the grip on his sword tightened.
And still, Tül’Rah said nothing.
Jay gleamed. “Now I get it. Trying to stay in control is exactly what defines me, and what gives you the chance to take it away. So, how better can I escape that vice, than by going against every instinct I’ve ever had? What say you to that, Wyrm? Shall we jump into this meaningless fight and see what happens?”
Tül’Rah scoffed. Impossible… No one can escape their own fate…
He cackled like a madman. “Yeah, and why not? Because you say so? Well, I say fuck you! I’m nobody’s prisoner.”
The monsters entered the clearing, rushing through for his spot. Jay did not run. He did not hide. He pointed his sword forth, ready to enter this pointless engagement for absolutely no reason.
The first monster charged. Jay [Slashed]. The shadows parted where his pig iron blade tore through, a dull gray line flashing between folds of black. The monster shrieked in pain, a viscous ichor splattering Jay’s face.
Another was seconds away, but Jay [Leaped] past it, aiming for a cluster of three of greater strength. The monsters recoiled from the inexplicably bold charge, but he pressed his advantage, his [Rend] cleaving through with lightning accuracy. Incomprehensible shapes folded into their Euclidean analogs, their blood coalescing into a physical substance.
The third closed in. Jay sheathed his sword and drew his bow instead. Even as his body rocked from the sudden attack of limbs sharped into spears, he merely pulled a [Scattershot Arrow] and took aim.
The shot went off at point-blank, chunks of fire-coated shrapnel erupting from where the special arrow struck the monster’s face. More hit him as well, but he shrugged the pain off.
And Jay continued the sortie anyway.
Snap.
No, there was nothing strategic or planned behind his moves. With every passing thought that compelled the rational manner that this fight should be played, he performed the opposite. The infectious bloodlust that Tül’Rah instilled continued to slither in his mind, but it was no longer being manipulated by its owner.
And Jay did nothing to fight against this new power. No, he wasn’t in control of his own actions, but neither was his patron god anymore.
No one was!
Jay slashed. He punched. He killed. He maimed. Each attack brought a greater sense of euphoria than the one before, and he guffawed as he drank it all in. Yet, Jay still didn’t have the slightest idea of what he was doing right now or why he was doing it. He just continued to hack and slash, letting this newfound, uncontrollable power course through him.
Snap.
Embrace the madness, fam, Desmond had once said, and only now could Jay see why.
Snap.
He’d break from any prison.
Snap.
Even the one of his own making.
If this world was a medley of godlike entities fighting each other, there would be no escape from their power through conventional means alone. Jay would have to accept a new patron to follow. One which no rules could bind.
He would choose chaos.
For regardless of what Tül’Rah believed, chaos was controlled by no one, not even the Gods above.
Jay vomited a mouthful of blood, his limbs shaking from this violent bout.
Only one monster remained. This creature was more recognizable than the others, with a face covered in jagged chitin, and yellow eyes that burned with bright fire. But where its head dissolved into a body, dozens of limbs faded out, each rooting into the ground below.
The creep shifted and split, and Jay watched as hundreds of fresh tentacles sprouted like flowers, each a perverse and grotesque display.
The monster howled, its eyes narrowing on him, and jaw salivating with shadowy essence.
Jay made the mistake of succumbing to a moment of rational thought by [Recovering], hoping to earn back his energy.
In half a heartbeat, the tentacles lashed out, striking him every which way.
Snap.
Snap.
His skin burned from all the Wounds. This was it. Jay was unarmored, unprotected, and didn’t have the slightest bit of a plan. He could still [Leap] away right now and finish what he’d started.
Except that he couldn’t. Not here. Not now. Not when his own autonomy was on the line.
For there was one fact that he’d come to realize in his maddening state, more than everything else.
Only by embracing chaos could Jay taste true freedom. Not by fighting against it.
And so Jay charged this monster with a roar. No thought. No plan. Just a crumbling sword and a will to see another monster’s death. Regardless of how this moment came about, Jay would do nothing against this chaotic, ephemeral bliss.
The monster mouth spread wide, ready to swallow him whole.
With one unskilled jump into the air and his last vestige of strength, Jay gripped his sword tight, concentrating only on what would make the biggest mess.
He grinned, competent strategy suddenly aligning with unhinged insanity, with not an inch between.
[Violent Storm], then [Power Attack].
The shockwave reverted through them both, sending Jay back with a final snap.
The monster melted into a pile of chitin and ectoplasm, its hundred tentacles quivering in a death shock.
Only then did Jay turn back to camp, the chaotic bloodlust disappearing as quickly as it had come. The path had been cleared again, right into the cauldron where the other reagents remained.
Jay glanced up into the sky. Even as the sun had grown brighter and redness reduced, he could still sense the power of his patron God watching on. Shell-shocked. Speechless. Brooding against this lesser creature.
So Jay did what he could and gave him one final thumbs up before walking home. He’d made a promise when he’d first awoke in this world, and it was one he intended to keep.
Not even the gods of this world would get in his way!