The rest of what Alexander said was lost to me, he continued speaking but it was all background noise as my mind worked at what I’d just heard. Magic. Spoken as clearly and as obviously as someone talking about gravity or the weather outside. It became clear pretty quickly that I was no longer listening and I vaguely remember Repun saying something. Then I was helped back to the small room I woke up in, I walked there robotically, unhearing and unseeing. I remember Alexander laying me down on the bottom bunk and pulling the sheets over me. He said something about coming back at some point to change my dressing. I think I mumbled some kind of thank you and he left, closing the door gently behind him. The sound of the door shook me and as soon as it closed I began to cry. Alone in the dark, I began to weep, sobbing uncontrollably I shook in the bed as tears flowed down my face. I cried because I knew this was real, this wasn't a dream, it wasn't a prank, and there was no aliens or government experiment. No this was real and so was magic, except I knew one simple thing, one simple fact. Magic isn't real. Or as I’d realized the moment Alexander had said it, it wasn't real, in my world. Wherever I was this wasn't the place I'd been born, the place I’d grown up. My friends, my family, my life, it was all gone, and as of right now there was no way to get back to them. I was completely and utterly alone, more than I had ever been in my entire life, more than most people ever are. I choked on my sobs. I could feel that burning internal heat again. I began to panic as what I knew now as magic welled up within me like molten heat in my stomach, fire in my chest, vibrating in my skull. I screamed and I heard the door open vaguely, then movement on the bed beside me as someone sat down. I felt a cool hand against my back and I shook even harder at the touch. I lay there weeping as that cool hand rubbed my back, sapping away the heat as tears continued to roll down my face.

I don't know how long I lay there crying before I fell asleep, although I do know I couldn't remember the hand ever leaving my back. When I woke though I was alone in the dark bunk room with the sounds of the ship seeming loud in the black room. I lay there for a while, just feeling the movements of the ship beneath me and listening to its creaks and groans. It felt so real, so familiar in so many ways and yet I knew this place was different. No less real that was for sure, or at least I had to treat it as such until I saw otherwise. If I didn't accept this reality as true then what would be my next move? Wander through the world raving about how nothing was real? Act as if nothing I did had consequences? No, I had to act under the assumption that everything here was just as real and just as important as things in my home reality. Home reality, what a weird thought to have not in a daydream or while high but as a tautology. It was at this moment an indisputable fact that this was not my reality therefore I had a home reality. A reality that had my parents, my family, my friends, and every person I'd ever loved or had ever loved me. Loneliness wasn't an unfamiliar feeling to me, I had been an awkward only child that had grown into an equally awkward adult. I had been able to make a few friends who were as close as family to me and had managed to have a few semi-functional relationships. This was orders of magnitude different, I was an entire reality from any evidence of my existence. A thought struck me as I lay there working through my existential crisis, I had taken my non-existence as a fact here, what if it wasn't though? I sat bolt up in the bunk remembering and avoiding smashing my head as I did although my mind reeled as if I had. This world was so similar to my own, (another mystery to me) did that mean that another version of me could exist here? If that was the case I wondered if I could somehow find my counterpart, or if we were switched, or if meeting my other half would somehow cause a rip in spacetime. There was also the very likely possibility that this world was only similar in broad strokes and that the circumstances of my birth had never come together. My parents had been older when they had me and maybe they hadn't been able to conceive. I lay there spinning out possibility after possibility until I was finally crushed by the reality that I had absolutely no way of testing any of these theories. For now, I needed to suspend any hope that I would be able to find anyone I knew or loved here. My priorities were clear or at least that's what I told myself. My first priority was to come to some sort of understanding of this world so I could survive in it. As soon as I had that understanding I needed to start figuring out how I got here and how I could get back.

Having a clear goal set helped assuage some of the deep existential dread I felt, it gave me a line to cling to in a world that was as vast and unknown to me as the ocean outside. I decided that my first order of business should be to find out as much as I could about magic. There was an obvious practical reason for this considering I was clearly a danger to myself and others. Magic also was very clearly the distinction between this reality and mine and therefore understanding it would likely help me understand the differences its existence caused. Having made my decision I pulled the covers off of me and stood up slowly testing my foot as I did. It hurt much less as I stood and I looked down to see that the dressing had been changed while I slept. I smiled slightly imagining I knew who had done it, maybe I wasn't completely without people that cared about me here. Alexander was who I wanted to find, he seemed both intrigued by me and sympathetic to my plight even if he didn't know the half of it. Looking down at myself I saw I was still wearing the rough set of pyjamas and after the session of sobbing and other adventures it both looked and smelled rough. Hoping that someone else had thought the same thing I opened the locker in the room and was grateful for its contents. A maroon jumpsuit large enough to fit me hung inside along with a white t-shirt and some warm looking grey pants. There was also a bar of soap as well as a disposable razor on top of the folded clothes at the bottom of the locker. I usually kept clean shaven but considering how cold I assumed it was outside I thought about the idea of growing out my stubble. I reached up and touched my face, the stubble had already grown a significant amount in the time I'd been in this world. I shrugged and decided that entering a new universe was as good a time as any to change up my look. I did grab the soap gratefully, it was wrapped in paper like a hotel soap and had a neutral slightly chemical smell to it. I unwrapped the soap and turned what I assumed was the hot water tap on the small sink in the room. Waiting for the water to heat up I stripped down to the boxers underneath my pyjamas and looked at myself in the mirror almost naked. I had always been a big even as a kid and definitely had been considered fat as a teenager. Looking at myself now though I didn't particularly hate what I saw. Broad shoulders with a barrel chest and stomach that while covered with a bit of fat looked strong. Overall the most surprising thing I saw when looking at myself was my hair. Usually, I kept it longer, enough to tuck behind my ears but what I saw in front of me was a completely bald man. Running my hand over my head I felt the beginnings of stubble growing back across my scalp. I’d have to ask for a hat. Curiously as I dropped my hand off my head I smelt something pungent and familiar in the air as my hand fell. Lifting it up cautiously I sniffed my hand I could smell on it was the distinct scent of burnt hair and immediately understood what had happened. I grinned at myself ruefully, it was kinda funny to be worried about my own appearance when it was literal magic that had done this to me. Assuming I'd given the water enough time to warm up I started to splash the water onto my face and my armpits before soaping up. The water was warm and the ritual of cleaning myself centred me as I rinsed and use the pyjamas to dry myself off. I got dressed in all clean clothes and then pulled on the puffy maroon jumpsuit over everything. In the back of the closet, I saw a pair of warm looking black boots and pulled them on over thick wool socks. Tucking the jumpsuit into the boots I sat down on the edge of the bed and saw something Id missed. Hanging on the locker door was an orange fisherman's cap that looked remarkably similar to the captains, I smiled as I put it on.

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I felt infinitely more human having washed and put on my own clothes even if I hadn't picked out the outfit although, to be honest, I didn't mind it. The high-vis reflecting strips on the jumpsuit weren't exactly fashion forward but as I walked out of my room I didn't particularly care. Standing outside of the room I looked to my left and right trying to figure out what direction to go in and realizing that I had no idea where I was going. I stood there for several minutes trying to make my decision until another door further down the hall to the left opened. Two men dressed in the same jumpsuits walked out heading my way seeming not to have noticed me yet. The two men were deep in conversation with each other speaking animatedly in Russian as they walked towards me. Unsure of whether I should make my presence known I stood there not wanting to head awkwardly back into the room and also not knowing what else to do. As they got closer I could hear them better and had an odd moment where I thought I understood a few words. Realizing they were too close now for me to go back into my room without being noticed I swallowed anxiously and waved slightly at them as they approached me. Both men looked up and saw me for the first time with looks of surprise and then worry on their faces as they seemed to recognize me. I realized instantly that to them I was the guy who had multiple times now lost control of his magic and almost sunk the ship. Blushing I gave them a thumbs up which I was really hoping was a constant across universes. The men seemed less concerned and both gave me a joking thumbs up back towards me as they continued to walk by me. As they passed I forced myself to say something,

“Uhh, which way to Alexander?”

The men who had just passed me turned around and looked at me again quizzically before replying and giving me directions with wry expressions.

“He's in his room, although you better hurry to catch him before his watch shift starts.”

The man closest to me spoke through a thick brown moustache as he gave me directions.

“You better go quick if you want to catch him alone.”

The other man was short and older built like a cinderblock with a face full of smile lines and he winked at me as he said this.

I blushed even further at the implication and bowed my head slightly in embarrassment as I thanked them and headed off. It wasn't until several minutes later as my anxiety wore off that I realized that the conversation had been in a mix of English and Russian. I had always been good with languages but this must have been some effect of the magic on my brain. I added it to the ever-growing list of questions that I’d have to ask Alexander about once I got to his room. I felt a small flutter of anxiety at the thought as it mixed with the memory of the sailor's innuendo. I really didn't have time to feel like this considering that Alexander was more than anything else my only source of information on the ship. Even though I knew this I couldn't help the butterflies in my stomach as I approached his room and it took me a few seconds for me to knock.