“Oooooh, Here comes the Hunter squad!”
“Hey, Rook! I got a very large snake problem...in my pants!”
“He’s late coz Godzilla was chasing him!”
“Watch out Rook! Them asshole rats gonna sue you for poowlice browtality!”
“Sorry, I’m late Sergeant Stone.” I apologized to the frowning Sergeant in charge of the briefing. He gestured with his chin for me to go inside.
I gave an embarrassed smile to the sixteen or so men and women inside the briefing room. They were still joking and whistling at me. There were some few handclaps when I passed a few jokers to sit on the chair at the back. I sat there with my face turning scarlet from the ribbing I’m getting. My trainer warned me to expect it as I was the new ‘Rook’ or Rookie. So I tried ignoring the catcalls and looked straight at the lectern.
“Settle down, Settle down. Where was I?” The sergeant checked his notes and continued the briefing.
“Right. Deputy Kline and Morrey, you got traffic duty. We’re getting complaints of a group of halflings and dwarves drag racing scooters on Cornell Street at night.” The mentioned deputies groaned in unison. “Shut it down before those orcs bikers join in.”
“The renaissance fair will start tomorrow and I need five volunteers.” The room was silent and everyone wasn’t looking at the sergeant. I wanted to volunteer but after reading the room I refrained.
“Okay, so that’s how you want it. Let’s see. You, you, you... ” The chosen deputies moaned and deflated on their seats.
“Deputy Hunter Hunter...” The sergeant started but the room exploded in laughter. He frowned at the deputies and after a while, he realized what he said. “I think we're gonna have problems in the future with your name, Hunter.” I gave him a crooked smile. Our title was Deputy Hunter and last name. And I could see the confusion it would cause if we get new hunters.
“Nickname!” “Make him a call sign!” The deputies helped out and the entire room agreed that it was a fine idea.
The sergeant grinned and wrote on the whiteboard -Deputy Hunter Hunter Callsign. Write down below-. I blanched. They were going to write stupid nicknames like Huntless, Ratcatcher, and Bear Maid. He returned to the lectern and instructed to the deputies attending.
“People, write down your preferred callsign to our lone hunter here. It may help him remember the time.” He gave me an evil grin and I winced. I would never be late again if I could help it. I looked at the board and wondered if I could write my own nickname.
“Deputy Hunter, This week for your familiarization. You’ll be riding along with..” The deputies all looked down and avoided the sergeant's gaze. The sergeant's eyes were scanning the room and his sight rested on a deputy who was looking straight at the lectern.
“Deputy Connelly.” He decided and nodded, satisfied with his choice. Their room was silent and the deputies were glancing at each other.
“Yes, Sarge.” My partner for the week responded. I looked at Deputy Connelly and he was around mid-30s and was built like a football linebacker. The muscles in his arms were almost bursting the sleeves on his uniform. I hoped we get along together.
“Right. That’s all. Dismissed.” He ended the briefing and left the room.
We all stood up from our seats and my partner came towards me. Besides being a large man, he was also 6’6 tall and I was in awe of the deputy’s size. When he reached me, he extended his hand for a handshake. I gripped his hand firmly, but he slowly squeezed hard, my eyes narrowed and I reciprocated in kind. Then he raised his eyebrow at me and he squeezed even harder. I didn’t want him to think I was a pussy, so I gave him a bored look and I upped the pressure. My hand was in pain but I didn’t let it show on my face. He finally relented and released my hand. Deputy Connelly grunted and said “Not bad Rook.”. So this is how it’s gonna be. The hazing continues.
“Nice knowing you Rook.” A thin deputy gave me a knowing look and winked at me. I was about to ask why but I was interrupted by Deputy Connelly.
“Let’s go, Rookie.” He walked away without waiting for my answer. I shook my hand behind my back to ease the pain and I hurriedly followed him. We were walking downstairs to the lobby and I suddenly remember something.
“Do you mind waiting for a bit, Sir. I have to sort out my bear.” I asked Connolly.
“Be quick.” He answered and he walked to the reception desk to sign out his car. I quickly walked into the bullpen and searched for Hera. I didn’t find her in the central area, so I checked the boss’s office. I found her playing with a ball chew toy the sergeant gave her and Hera was on the floor in front of Ms. Morris’s desk. She stopped chewing the tow when she saw me and came over to ask for rubs. I gave the bear cub plenty of rubs and she gave me a bear hug.
“Stay here, Hera.” I commanded the bear. She made whining noises and I took out a piece of candy. I gave it to her and she forgave me for leaving her while I go on patrol. She wasn’t ready to come with me yet and I thought she needed to socialize with people more. She liked hanging out with Ms. Morris as she receives a constant supply of donuts and rubs. The secretary didn’t mind watching her and I think the petite woman made Hera act like a gatekeeper and made other people wary disturbing her work. I gave Hera another candy and left the office.
“Sorry for the holdup, sir.” I entered the waiting white Tahoe SUV outside the building and sat on the front passenger seat.
“Don’t make a habit of it, Rook.” He admonished me and backed out of the parking lot. He adjusted his mirrors and turned on the radio.
“Yes, Sir.” I said as I was putting on my seat belt. Deputy Connolly stepped on the gas pedal and we started our patrol.
“Stop calling me ‘sir’. Call me Deputy or Connelly.” He ordered.
“Yes, si...Deputy.” I answered. I didn’t think we were at the level where I can call him by his last name. I hoped this shift would be like in the movies. Stakeouts, car chases, and stopping bad guys. But when I realized how peaceful our town was, I became disappointed.
“First. Let me make some ground rules. Comply with my orders without question, always stay behind me, keep your mouth shut and let me do the talking. Understand?” He gave me a hard look and making sure I was listening to him.
“Crystal clear, Deputy.” I nodded vigorously at this instructions and adjusted my seat.
“Good.” He made a right and we drove to the commercial area. I smiled and was excited to finally start my job.
We rode silently for almost an hour and it was so awkward. I tried making small talk to Deputy Connelly and he always answered in single words, so I gave up trying to chat with him. This must be part of the hazing. The excitement I felt earlier waned. It was so boring driving around the town patrolling and I was having second thoughts on the job. When the radio called us, I was relieved and hurriedly grabbed the radio handset.
“Dispatch. This is Deputy Hunter Hunter over.” I answered slowly and clearly. I winced at my title. It really sounded stupid. I heard Connelly snort and my cheeks flushed.
“We have a 10-15 at the Gorkz Rezto Bar, proceed to the location over.”
“10-4 over.” I ended the transmission. Deputy Connelly was listening to the radio and he made a U-turn to drive to the bar.
“Uh. Deputy. What’s a 10-15 again?” I asked shamefaced at my ignorance of the codes. There were more than a hundred codes to memorize and I still had trouble remembering them.
“Hehehe. It’s code for fun, Rook.” The Deputy gave me a twisted smile and I groaned internally.
--
I was walking behind Deputy Connelly, as per instructions and we arrived at the place. The Gorkz Rezto Bar was where the Orcs hangout for drinks and it was themed like something that came out of a Mad Max set. A chair crashed through the window and scattered pieces of glass on the sidewalk. I immediately hid behind the wall and placed my hand on my gun. I could hear the sounds of brawling orc and voices encouraging the fighters inside the bar. Connelly casually took a peek inside by the window and walked leisurely to the entrance of the bar. I hastily followed him with my hand still on my sidearm.
He leaned his body on the wall near the door and crossed his arms.
Unauthorized duplication: this narrative has been taken without consent. Report sightings.
“Alright Rook. I want you to control the disturbance.” He pointed with his thumb to the bar. I glanced at the bar by the broken window and blanched. The room was filled with Orcs watching the fight with glee while six of them were slugging each other and I looked at Deputy Connolly with a frightened expression. “Without using your gun.” he added with a wicked grin.
“Waaaaaargz.” “Datz all u gotz!” “Breakz Bonez!” The Orcs inside the bar bellowed and the sound of breaking furniture filled the air.
“You’re joking right?” I asked him incredulously. Orcs were stupid strong and were hard to control when they were filled with bloodlust. I was willing to bet that they were all drunk as well and were not in the mood to listen to a human asking them to stop their fun. The sergeant also said not to arrest anyone unless I had to.
“What are you waiting for, Rook? Arrest them.” He was still giving me that stupid grin and I nodded jerkily. I hesitated for a few seconds then went through the door and surveyed the scene before me. Two pairs of Orc were fighting each other and a huge orc was standing over a defeated opponent. He was shouting at the air in victory and kicked the unconscious orc on side of the body.
I wavered and glanced back at Deputy Connelly. He gave me a thumbs up and gestured to get on with it. I took a deep breath and steeled myself. The deputy did order me to arrest them.
With a serious face, I walked to the victorious orc and poked him on the elbow.
“PUT YOUR HANDS UP! YOU’RE ALL UNDER ARREST!” I shouted in a commanding tone but without my gun pointed at them, I’m not too sure if they would comply. The drunk Orc looked down and snarled at me. He grabbed the front of my leather jacket and threw me out of the now broken window. It happened so fast that I wasn’t able to defend myself. I landed on the pavement and rolled but a car stopped me from going any further. I groaned in pain and tried to stand up but failed.
“HAHAHA! PUNY HOOMAN!” The offending orc mocked me. When I heard the orc belittle me, my eyes flashed in anger and my rage boiled up. The Bear Core burned in my chest. I stood up and walked quickly back inside. HOW DARE YOU! I AM THE LAW!
The familiar fire in my chest was now a raging inferno. My eyes were full of fury and I saw the Deputy’s grin vanish. I approached the laughing orc who had his back turned to me. A collapsed black steel baton materialized on my right hand and I extended it with a flick of my wrist. The sound of the baton lengthening was like a crack of the whip and the Orc turned to look what the noise was. I reversed the baton and slammed the point of the baton’s pommel hard in the Orc’s abdomen and his body bowed forward in pain. I smacked his forehead with the baton and he fell on his knees.
I dropped the baton on the floor and grabbed the front of the orc flannel shirt pulling him up easily. The bear nanites provided me with the strength that I needed. The orc was moaning in pain and his limbs were hanging uselessly. I roared and threw the orc out of the window where I once flew through earlier. The orc landed on the sidewalk hard and I could hear his whimpers. I noticed the room was silent like a graveyard. I glared at the remaining orcs but they were no longer fighting. All the orcs in the room were staring at me and they were bewildered by the strength that I displayed. I picked up my dropped baton and advanced to the orcs who was causing all the raucous. They hastily raised their arms in submission and the other bar patrons raised theirs as well.
“That’s enough fun for today, Rook.” Deputy Connelly amused voice stopped me in my tracks and I looked back at the deputy while keeping an eye on the surrendering orcs. I quietly nodded and fixed my now disheveled uniform.
We called for backup to transport the suspects to the Sheriff’s Station for processing. The deputies left me alone to calm down and collect myself. I placed a bag of ice on the side of my head and I flinched from the pain. Deputy Connelly pointed out my bruised head and gave me some ice from the bar. I looked at the orc being assisted inside the deputies car and I felt guilty that I let my anger influence my actions. I need to control it, not control me.
The other deputies were taking statements from the orcs and they were giving me quick glances. My heart fell and I knew the Sheriff was going to fire me. That was a clear case of police brutality. I looked sadly at my badge and I felt that I tarnished the symbol it represented.
“Hey, Rook!” My misery was interrupted by Deputy Connelly and he had a female orc with him. The lady looked familiar to me but I couldn't remember who she was. I straightened my posture and waited for the well earned reprimand from the deputy.
“Yes, Deputy?” I asked and I was resigned to the fact that my career in law enforcement was over.
“Well, Mrs. Ghorza here says that she knows you,” He was reading the name from a little notebook. “She assures me that her husband won’t press charges.”
“I Knowz Bearhartz!” She nodded at me. Deputy Connelly raised his eyebrow at me and I shrugged at the name.
“I Leadz honorz walkz!” She banged her fist proudly on her rather large chest. That action finally reminded me of her identity. She was the guard who volunteered to lead the mini-parade at Trader’s Street. “Gud fightz! Me Bloodmatez okayz!”
“Okay, we’re done here. Mrs. Ghorza, we need you to visit Sheriff's Station for your statement and remind your husband in case he forgets...” He requested the female Orc. She nodded to us and gave me another of her shoulder slaps before leaving. The deputy eyed the lady orc and returned to look at me.
“So, Rook. What did we here learn today?” He asked suddenly. I was a little annoyed with Deputy Connelly. I knew he was just testing me but I felt that was a bit extreme.
“Try not to kill the suspect?” I guessed and tried being a smartass.
“That too,” He gave me a rueful smile and then became serious. “Here’s one important lesson.” “I could think of three ways to solve that problem and the one you used while effective was not one of them.”
“They are going to fire me.” I said glumly and looked down on the pavement.
“For that! Of course not,” He snorted. I looked up with hope in my eyes. “An orc with a raging bloodlust? You defended yourself when he laid his hands on you. That’s called Appropriate Use of Force. I thought you already knew that.”
“I kinda lost my head in there.” My voice was full of regret and shame.
“Do that to anyone else and they’ll fire your ass.” His eyes became hard and I shrunk from that look.
“My point is, you could have tossed a pepper spray grenade inside and that would have cooled their heads. You could also have just waited for them to finish fighting. The orcs who lost usually pay for the damages. You get what I’m saying?”
“I didn’t think of that.” I said chagrined. I actually had the grenades sitting in my storage.
“Always think of the options you have before acting on it. Do you understand, Rook?” He poked his finger hard in my chest for emphases.
“Yes, Deputy.” I gave him an embarrassed look.
“Good. You understand.” He gave me one last hard poke.
“C’mon, Rook. Let’s get these guys booked.” We drove back to the Sheriff's Station with a still dazed orc in the backseat.
--
“Hunter, The sheriff was looking for you.” Sergeant Stone informed me when we arrived at the lobby escorting the wayward orcs. My face visibly winced at the words he used. Shit! I’m in trouble.
“Just get it over with, Rook. It won’t be last time you’ll get called in.” He advised me when he saw my face. He grinned and shook his head.
I went directly to the main offices and found Hera begging for treats from a blonde female deputy who was holding a box of donuts. She took one quick look at me and her attention returned back to the smiling deputy. What a traitor! She’s angry with me for leaving her behind.
“You’re such a cutie, Hera!” The female deputy gushed. She took a strawberry filled donut and nimbly fed her. Jesus. She’ll get spoiled from this!
“Hi, Deputy Harris.” I greeted her and ignored the bear. Hera returned the favor and didn’t look at me, busy eating her donut.
“Hello, Rook! I hope you don’t mind me feeding her sweets. By the way, the Sheriff was looking for you.”
I gave her a strained smile and went to the Sheriff's office and knocked.
“Enter!”
“You wanted to see me, Sheriff?” I poked my head in through the door.
“Sit! Close the door!” He indicated to the chair. I looked at his face and my spirits dropped. I sat down and braced for impact. This was going to hurt.
“Hmm. Let’s see. The first day out on patrol you responded to a disturbance and you beat an alien senseless.” He was reading from a sheet of paper and he looked up, his face turned crimson.
“AND YOU ALSO THREW HIM OUT THE WINDOW!?” The Sheriff shouted at me banging his hand on the table. My ears rang at the volume of his voice. He grabbed his stress ball and starting squeezing. I silently prayed for Ms. Morris to come in.
“DAMMIT HUNTER! We pride ourselves on our professionalism and beating someone UNCONSCIOUS and THROWING THEM is the complete opposite of being a PROFESSIONAL!”
“You’re lucky the orc didn’t press charges. Hunter, you best unfu...sort yourself or I will do it for you. Understood.” The Sheriff's anger finally losing steam. I nodded hastily.
“Hmm. What punishment should I give you?” He rubbed his chin and his eyes glinted. He picked up the phone and called Sergeant Stone.
“Sarge. It’s me. As an apology Deputy Hunter Hunter here...” The Sheriff’s forehead creased when he said my title but continued. “Volunteered to write all the arrest reports for all suspects. Got that? Bye.”
“Report to Sergeant Stone, Hunter. Go!” He ordered and I made a quick retreat.
--
“It’s the silent ones you gotta be careful with. Ain’t that right, Rook!”
“He was just joking, Mr. Rook! Please! I beg of you. Don’t throw him out the window! ”
“Thanks for writing our reports Rook!”
“That orc thinks he’s a halfling now!”
“Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Good morning to you too.” I responded to the peanut gallery and took a seat at my usual place at the back. I got used to the constant ribbing I endured for the past week and it was kinda funny when I looked back to the orc flying incident. My fingers were still numb from typing the reports and I had to write every single one of them differently. I promised myself to avoid arresting anyone unless I had to. Deputy Connelly walked into the room and sat on the chair next to me.
“Hey Rook. Morning.” Deputy Connelly mellowed out after the orc incident and was giving me less of a hard time.
“Morning, Deputy.” I gave him a nod.
“Have you noticed the whiteboard?” He gestured his head forward. I was confused about what he meant and looked at the board. To my surprise and horror, the board was filled with suggested callsigns for me. I read out loud the written callsigns.
“Orc Tosser,” “Air Orc one,” “Orc Rocket,” “FuckUNewGuyUSuck or FUNGUS,” “The AntiOrc,” “RunOrcRun,”
I scratched my head in annoyance. Those names were just mean.