Can’t say the hideout was what I was expecting, a small 1930s villa, a campervan parked in the front.

Keeping the car rolling at a steady pace, Jasper scanned the perimeters with the eye of a hawk, “Open that armrest!”

I pried my fingers behind the armrest and pushed it down, revealing the car thieves' beaten and bruised face.

He hacked up a mouthful of crimson spit and spat directly into my eye.

I wiped my eye free of the biohazard and shoved the thieves’ head back into the hole, and closed the armrest.

Along our hour-long voyage, along every crossroads and town, Jasper had pulled the car over to one side and began letting it out on the car thief, which at first were hard slaps but progressed into aggressive and violent smacks. And despite Jasper's intentions, it seemed that the car thief was not beginning to decompose into a shivering pile of misery; but instead an inferno of rage.

“Open that damned thing up!!” Jasper shouted at me.

I did as he said, but grabbed the thief by the scruff of his unwashed hair, prying his eyelids open with my other hand; I forced him to stare into Jaspers ferocious gaze.

“Looks like you’ve steered us wrong, skippy!” groaned Jasper as we pulled up to a bakery.

“Can you get us a mince and cheese?” Wes asked Jasper.

“Shut up!” Jasper tossed at Wesley, before returning to the man trapped in the boot, “You wanna tell me where the warehouse is for real? Or do you wanna find out what my plan b is?”

Jasper waited, but the car theif kept his mouth shut.

“Alright then.” said Jasper, opening his car door and leaving towards the bakery.

Wesley rolled his window down, “Mince and Cheese!” he called out.

Jasper dissapeared inside for a moment, we sat in the car waiting for him.

I noticed the thief’s eyes flicker towards my door handle. I gave him a smirk, then locked my door. Wesley tapped on the handle of his machete, watching the car thief carefully.

Eventually Jasper came walking out with a coffee cup, and no mince and cheese pie.

“Fuckin’ tight cunt!” Wesley hurled at Jasper.

Jasper didn’t respond, instead he walked inside the dairy and disappeared for another couple minutes.

Michael began rattling his fingers along the edge of his window. Wes continued stroking the machete, and I bit my nails in nervous anticipation.

Jasper returned whistling an original tune, holding his coffee cup in one hand and a sack of sugar in the other.

“Hide that thing you idiot.” Jasper warned, slipping the coffee into his drink holder.

The tale has been illicitly lifted; should you spot it on Amazon, report the violation.

“Yeah,yeah.” said Wes, slipping the machete under his seat. “What are you gonna do with that, bake a cake?”

“You’ll see.” replied Jasper, reversing out of his carpark.

We headed for the outskirts on the edge of town. Jasper found a quiet place behind a shipping container that had been placed at the gates of a random farm.

We all hopped out, apparently what Jasper was about to do needed our full undivided attention. But my attention was drawn to the scrolls of graffiti that had been marked on the shipping container. The streams of colour, vibrant and elaborate box letters, I couldn’t make out what it read, but the aesthetic was warm.

Next thing I knew Jasper was dragging the car thief out from the scruff off his mop. The driver was still mostly naked, with only a pair of jocks covering his nether regions.

The thief was woozy, as if he was barely with it, his breathing was short, and his eyes flickered under heavy sedation.

Jasper snapped his fingers in front of the car thief’s face, and when the thief was reluctant to show attention; Jasper grabbed the man by his jaw and cranked it skyward.

Jasper then took the lid off of his coffee cup, and even from where I was I could see that it was simple boiled water.

“He’s making napalm…” muttered Mike.

“Hm, shit, he is too.” agreed Jasper, tapping the machete that never left his side.

The thief stared into Jasper's abysmal soul as Jasper poured a handful of sugar into the water.

Mike took a step forward, “Don’t do it bro, if he gets back, we’ll all be going to prison!”

“Who says he’s going back?” said Jasper, raising the cup in front of the thief’s face.

“Man, I need my truck. So what he was a bit misleading. There’s no need to throw acid in his face.” insisted Mike.

Jasper sneered, “It won’t kill him, he’ll still talk with half a face.”

“No! Don’t do it man!” Mike ordered, rushing for Jaspers back.

Wesley jumped at Mike's manoeuvre and came rushing behind him with his machete raised.

Mike smacked the cup out of Jasper's grip, the cup toppled and spilled on the grass below in a stream of chaos.

Wes cocked back his machete and just as he was about to swing death upon Mike I tackled Wes to the ground.

Jasper spun around to face Mike and quickly swung a hook aimed for his temple.

The car thief broke free from his wrist restraints and hopped along and into Wesley’s car, licking all of the doors around him.

Mike weaved away from Jasper's hook, while I wrestled the machete out of Wesley’s hands. Mike jabbed Jasper but Jasper grabbed Mike's wrists and then headbutted the bridge of Mike's nose with violent efficiency.

The car thief began searching the car for the keys but couldn’t find any, he then began to search for a phone. I managed to pry the machete from Wesley’s hands and tossed it behind me, for which it would land in a tuft of grass beside the driver door.

Mike’s eyes began to run with water, his nose running with streams of blood, he used his steel cap boots to kick into Jasper's shin, and free his hands.

I began to open-palm strike Wesley’s still bruised face. I was told that open palming was more efficient than regular old punches by an old schoolmate, it was proving true.

Jasper backed up from Mike’s boots and then spotted the machete over Mike’s shoulder. The only problem was that the car thief had also suddenly spotted this weapon.

Jasper raised his fists to guard his jaw, and kept a healthy range while circling with Mike, edging slowly but surely in optimal distance of the family’s machete.

But before Jasper would see his plan come to fruition, the car thief unlocked the driver door and grabbed hold of the machete, his eyes intense and livid. He became to make way towards our mass brawl.

Jasper looked over Mike’s shoulder and began to back away from the altercation. Mike looked over his own shoulder and grabbed me by the shoulder, “We gotta split!”

I looked over and jolted at the sight of a severely beaten and humiliated man coming right for us. I jumped off of Wes and with Mike on my side we ran down the road with a maniac on our tails.