KONOHA

Shikamaru grew uneasy as he stopped underneath one particularly large tree. He didn’t know why, he just did.

“Is it here?” Ino whispered to him, crouching by his side. He glanced at the map in his hand before confirming with the hidden message he found in their mission scroll. “I hope so,” he replied. “It would be such a drag if we came all this way and my hunch ended up being a dud.”

“It better not,” the fatso, Choji, said, his cheeks bloated as he chewed on a few handfuls of chips. “The first clue is a three-hour hike west from here. If this isn’t one of the castles we probably would not be able to catch up with the other teams.”

“We’ll be fine,” said Ino, ever the optimist. Shikamaru didn’t share her enthusiasm though. Being who he was, the consequences of them failing here remained at the forefront of his mind. Ino leapt forward, he and Choji fast on her heels as they scaled the tree. It wasn’t long until they found their target; a tiny treehouse hanging underneath a rather large bough.

“We found it!” Ino exclaimed, pumping her fist in celebration. “OK, here’s the plan. Once we are done surveying this area we will—”

*tuk* *tuk* *tuk* *tuk* *tuk*

A rain of senbon needles perforated the branch on which they stood just moments ago.

“Hehe! It’s as you suspected, leader-san. These twerps were indeed up to something!”

Shikamaru caught himself on a nearby tree, skidding to a stop as he turned to face the attackers. Three Ame-nin materialised out of the forest brush. They wore black skinsuits underneath elaborate raincoats; two of the three shinobis had oddly shaped, wide-brimmed hats on their heads and pressurised tanks strapped over their shoulders. All three had multiple umbrellas strapped to their backs. Shikamaru would have found the sight comical had he not been so frightened by their sudden appearance.

“I still can’t believe they led us right to one of the castles,” said the shortest of the bunch. “To think passing this year’s chunin exams would be so easy!”

Shikamaru glanced at his team. Nobody was hurt so far, but he couldn’t guarantee things would remain so shortly. They were obviously outclassed. They needed to retreat. Immediately.

“...So, running away seems like a good plan, no?” Choji whispered, furiously chewing away at his chips. “If we fight these guys we’re going to get creamed… We can try to find another team. A weaker one. If we can beat them and take their mission scroll, the coordinates for another castle might be hidden inside.”

“How can we pick off any weaklings if they aren’t any?” Ino furiously whispered back. “Have you seen the other teams? They will rip us apart if we try to take their scrolls!”

“...Well, besides Naruto’s team of course.”

“What are you talking about, you idiot? Naruto and Sakura are total losers, true, but they are teamed up with Sasuke. SASUKE!”

“...She does have a point,” Shikamaru chipped in, his gaze fixated on the Ame-nin.

“Oi! What are you losers whispering about?” asked the opposing cell’s midget.

“You can have it!” Shikamaru shouted back. “The castle! We won’t fight you for it if you promise not to come after us!”

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“Whatever! Get lost losers!”

Shikamaru exhaled as they retreated. “...Ai. What a plan in the neck.”

“What now?” Ino asked.

“We could still try to find weaklings we could steal another scroll from?”

Shikamaru scoffed inwardly. I doubt we would find anyone weaker than us though—

*AHHHH!!!*

The Nara scion froze. His eyes flickered to meet his teammates’ equally terrified ones. The screaming behind them suddenly cut off and the feeling of dread running down his spine intensified suddenly.

“Oh,” came a familiar voice from behind him. Shikamaru slowly turned around to meet a pair of equally familiar onyx eyes. Sasuke’s gaze was half-lidded—sleepy—as he observed them. A moment passed and the last Uchiha blinked as if finally recognising them. The dread rocking his body receded and Shikamaru gasped, suddenly realising he had been holding his breath.

“You guys should be more careful,” the monster-in-human-skin said. “Especially you, Ino. You know I would hate to hear something bad happened to you.”

The blonde nodded. For once her face was not flushed red as her ‘idol’ addressed her. She looked a little pale. Frightened. Shikamaru said nothing, watching as the Uchiha tossed something towards him. His hands moved of their own accord to catch it. A scroll.

A mission scroll.

“I assume since you guys found this place so quickly you must have found the message hidden in your mission scroll?”

Shikamaru nodded mechanically in response.

“Good. That belongs to the team in the back there… Or it did, I guess. Whatever. The scroll contains the coordinates to another castle four hours northeast of here. I believe you guys should have no problem finding it on your own?”

Shikamaru shook his head. Mute.

“Good. I will be heading back now. Stay safe.” And with those words, the Uchiha disappeared.

“...Scary,” Choji muttered, for once not chewing on something. Shikamaru wasn’t hard-pressed to disagree with him. Neither was Ino for that matter.

***

We flickered back to our camp to find Sakura still asleep and Naruto chewing on the last of the spit-roasted fish we made earlier.

“That was supposed to last all three of us for the rest of the day, Naruto,” we tell the boy in passing as we return to our sleeping bag. Preparing the rations was a hassle given it had to be done far enough from camp to throw off possible trackers. And without a thought, our blonde, gluttonous fool here consumed everything in one sitting.

“I was starving!” came the predicted response. We sighed as we made a mental note to make enough to last three weeks on our next run; even Naruto could not eat much… we hope. Pulling the warm fabric over our shoulders we let our mind lull into a state of semi-consciousness. After all, unlike our previous existence, our body’s physiology remained human. We needed rest; there was only so long we could stay awake before our grey matter started to sustain irreparable damage. We would rather not learn firsthand how said damage affected our capacity to achieve our prime objective.

We awoke two hours later, lobbing an orb of water at the campfire Naruto just created in blatant disregard of our prior warnings, before immediately going back to sleep. In the haze of unconsciousness, we heard the boy squawk in indignation as a small cloud of steam and acrid smoke rushed up to his face. We promptly ignored him.

It wasn’t until another three hours that we awoke again. It was already dawn but Sakura was still asleep. A clone of Naruto sat at the exit playing a game of tic-tac-toe with another clone. At the back of our shelter, another clone sat doodling something on the mudwall we created to seal off the exit.

We reached outwards with our senses and found the original outside in a taijutsu spar with a clone. We ignored the two, sending our perception further in search of interlopers. There were none. It wasn’t until the sixth day that we got our next visitors. A shinobi trio from Otogakure. At the end of that day, we had two more teams visit, one of whom was Konoha-nin. Team eight. We sent them away with the coordinates to another castle towards the south. They were the last.

The time for the exam eventually elapsed and a chunin-ranked proctor—Iruka from the academy, surprisingly—arrived via a summoning seal engraved on a plaque in the treehouse to congratulate us. We ignored the drivel he was tasked with feeding us, waiting until he deemed it time for us to return. A reverse-summoning later and we were back at the academy.

There we found the Hokage waiting for us.