“So what do you even mean by that? Isn’t there a way to tell whose soul it is?” I was curious now, and it sounded like a simple enough question. Not the kind of thing he’d hide.
“Normally an individual’s soul speaks volumes about who they were in life. They normally take the form of some symbolic item or figure, so a complete soul that hasn’t started burning yet is easily readable, a shattered and broken one even if the break is marginal is impossible. Any loss causes confusion within its identity, it burns chaotically and is unable to decipher.” He was about to put his hand on my shoulder but stopped for a second, he looked like he was in a really deep thought. “Decipher…”
“What, did you just think of something? Is there like some code you can apply that could help you figure out whose soul it is?”
“No, I just don’t think I’ve used the word decipher in a sentence in a long time… that may have actually been the first time I’ve used it properly.” I could feel my hands clenching into fists, I knew he wasn’t kidding too. His voice was too serious.
“You’re an idiot. Aren't you supposed to be super old and knowledgeable? How old are you even?”
“I’m old enough to know all the words, but young enough to not have used them all yet. However the list of unused words is dwindling.”
“Well that was super informative.”
“You’re a very sarcastic girl, you know that?” He grabbed my shoulder. Even though it only took us a second to get back to his den, it still felt weird to call it a den, it was long enough for me to feel the pain from his grip. It was insane how much pain he could cause in such a short time.
“So I’m on break now, right? Because I really need to shower.” I had already started to head towards the bedroom door.
“You do that.” His tone was a tad insulting, or it would have been if I didn’t know I smelled like a cannibal family’s backyard barbecue, covered in sweat sauce and garnished with blood and dirt, crumbled not grated. I grossed myself out just thinking about it. Dying was not a clean thing, even when all the blood magically found its way back to its proper place. “I’ll come by to collect you again shortly, I need to check my ‘it’s personal’ file.” He sighed and mumbled as he walked down the hall. “You kill one guy…”
As messed up as it was, I knew exactly how he felt. You kill one guy and it screws up everything. Of course I never actually wanted to kill anyone, I was just supposed to send a signal.
“Do I get a second set of clothes or is this it?” I groaned as I pushed my way into my room. I was starting to feel sore for some reason, maybe the damage I’d taken in the maze was only just starting to get to me. Not that that made sense or really explained anything, but nothing ever made sense anymore and nothing was ever explained to me. “Cus these ones got burned to a crisp, ripped to bits and the only thing really covering anything important is the armor you gave me. Thanks for that by the way.”
“No problem,” I felt something tug at my back. “Like I said, I don’t use it anymore.” It took me a while to process that Amy was behind me.
“So do you just wait next to doors for someone to come in when you’re not playing chess?” As I turned to look I noticed she was tucking her knife away. “With your knife out… So you just stab people when they walk into our room now?”
“Sorry, you’re right. It’s not just my room anymore so I can’t just try and stab people anymore. Sorry about that by the way.”
“It’s fine, I didn’t even feel it. I’m surprised I even noticed at all actually.” It hadn’t occurred to me that she’d actually stabbed me until just then.
“Yeah, fire does that sometimes. Don’t worry though, you’ll regain full feeling in a few days. You just need to let it settle, take a shower, get some fresh clothes, take a day off.” If she could roll her eyes any harder they would have popped out of her head. The small scar under her left eye told me something along those lines might have already occurred.
“If I go fast enough I might just get some rest yet.” I laughed, grabbing the strap to loosen the armor. As it fell off it felt like I was losing a layer of skin, not physically but safety wise. I felt vulnerable. I let it drop to the floor and I started to walk to the bathroom but Amy stopped me.
“What’s this?” She picked up the journal that had been tucked in the armor. I’d almost forgotten it after the quick exit out of the maze and then the pawn shop. “Who’s Jonas Abbott and why do you have his journal?”
“He was a collector, a little younger than you, but he went through some seriously twisted stuff. I ran into him in the maze Dante sent me to, he tried to kill me. I don’t think he was actually all there though.”
“What, was he a wraith?”
“That’s what Dante called it, and if that’s what you mean by black shadowy mass that likes to light things on fire, then yes. He was probably a wraith. I kept his journal because it sounds like he was a decent enough guy before he turned into a monster and someone should remember him that way.” Amy was flipping through pages at random and skimming through the journal like it was a novel.
“So what are you going to do with it?” Amy asked, her expression puzzled me, she almost looked happy but she still had a serious look in her eyes. “After I read it of course.”
“Do you have a safe place where you keep private things?” It sounded like the most pointless idea ever for a collector to have something like that. A contractor could just make you show them where it was.
“I do actually, somewhere where Hope can’t even force me to take her. Not that she’d ever want to go there anyways. As a matter of fact, I think it would be a perfect resting place for this journal.” She paused on the last page. “I’ll get it over there today.”
“Thank you.” The words didn’t seem to come from anywhere they just sort of… were. It spooked me out a little bit.
“What’s up?” Amy asked, concern in her voice.
“Did you hear that?” It was loud enough, at least it was for me. I don’t know how she couldn’t have heard it.
“Hear what?”
“Never mind, it’s probably nothing. I’m sure I’m just still on edge after everything. I need to wash up before he bursts back in here with something else for me to do.”
“You know it’s not nothing and I won’t be the idiot that believes that excuse. You are still on edge and you do need to hurry up, so I will just remember this. If you continue to hear things, it’s probably best not to keep that to yourself. It doesn’t matter how strong you think you are.” This was most serious I’d seen her. She wasn’t being sarcastic or acting careless and it actually looked like… well she looked like someone who knew what they were talking about. “Now hurry up, before someone else bursts in without some other ridiculous errand.”
---------------
“You’re not staring blank faced in the mirror again are you?” Amy called through the door. I kind of had been, not for the same reasons as the last time she’d caught me doing it, but I was still wasting time.
“A little bit.”
“So you’re only kind of wasting time, OK. Just checking.” I could hear the sarcasm in her voice. “You’re clothes are clean by the way… or new, or whatever. You want me to leave them with you or do you intend to prance about the hall in the nude?”
“Fine.” I said opening the door. Amy shoved herself through before I could stick my hand out. “Wow, OK, come on in then.”
“Calm down, privacy is overrated.” She grabbed my chin and tilted my head up, examining my eyes in the light. “I was worried, and it looks like I was right to be.”
“What are you talking about?” Something about my reflection had been bothering me, and I was pretty sure it was something in the facial region, but I hadn’t been able to pinpoint anything.
“Your eyes, look at your eyes closely.” I leaned in closer to the mirror and stared at my eyes. I could tell there was something weird going on but I still couldn’t quite see it.
“What am I looking for exactly?”
“Blue flecks, they’re tiny and they move a little, but they’re there.” The second she said it I saw them. “And before you ask what they are or why you should be worried about them I will explain it. You remember how Dante’s eyes work right? They reflect the integrity of his soul, and souls generally burn blue, so his eyes are blue. As his collector, it is possible for you to share this trait, though it is just about as uncommon for you as it is for Dante. Your eyes are generally just their normal brown, they didn’t really ever change even after becoming a collector because your body doesn’t currently hold your soul. Right now, however, you have some little bit of someone’s soul and it’s showing in your eyes.”
“How is this a bad thing? Wouldn’t this make me more powerful or something?” I was somewhere between nervous and excited. I felt like I was in the middle of a medical examination and the doctor was telling me I had something wrong with me but they couldn’t tell for sure.
“Well yeah, you get a little boost in strength and stamina… then you start to decay into a wraith the more you rely on that power. Collectors aren’t meant to be able to manipulate souls like contractors can, we aren’t sturdy enough to handle that much power.”
“The heck did I even end up with this? I didn’t write a contract, I don’t even know how to do that.” It occurred to me that I’d never actually even seen Dante write one either.
“It’s possible this is a result of fighting Jonas. Was he throwing around any blue flames?”
“He was pretty much covered in them.” I cringed at the memory, fighting him was one of the freakiest things I’d ever done by far.
“Oh.” She seemed surprised. “Wraith’s don’t generally get that powerful, he must have been pretty well fed. It’s no surprise you absorbed some of that excess power if he was using so much that carelessly.”
The tale has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the violation.
“So…” I tried goading her back into the conversation, she’d sort of just trailed off into a concerned expression.
“That’s it, I don’t know anything else about it. I’ve only ever killed two wraiths and they were weak ones. I’ve never had this problem and the only reason I know about it is because I’ve known other collectors that have.”
“So what did they do? How do I get this out of me?” She was starting to freak me out and I was quickly losing my composure.
“Neither of them made it.” There was veiled sadness on her face and in her voice. I could tell her now straight face was very forced. “Two cases isn’t really much to go on, and I don’t know much about how either case went down, just how they ended. Maybe you’ve got a chance because we know you have it before it’s really a problem, maybe not.”
“That's it then? I’m doomed?” I was immortal against my will and probably the only way I’d get out of my situation was by dying. Here I was, presented with dying, and I was horrified.
“Maybe. Just hold tight. Get dressed, I’m sure Dante will think of something. You just have to ask for help.” She paused. “I can’t believe I just said that. Do you want me to ask?”
“No. Just. Go back to doing whatever, I’ll be out in a bit.” I shooed her out the door with my hands before taking one more look in the mirror. All I could see was a black writhing mass smiling back at me in its own creepily subtle way.
I practically finished in the bathroom with my eyes closed. Anything to avoid looking in the mirror again. I probably looked about as messy as I had before but at least I was cleaned up and in fresh clothes. As uncomfortable as it was to wear, I missed the armor and the feeling of being protected. It was pathetic really, it was the exact opposite of who I used to be and I was in almost the reverse situation. I had gone from being physically feeble but confident in my capacity to do whatever I needed to survive, to probably the most physically durable I could get but barraged by doubts, questions I could never get a straight answer to, and ultimately psychological weakness in the face of fear.
As I approached the bedroom door, I stopped. I could hear conversation from the other side. Something I did not expect. I could hear Amy, which made sense, we shared the room after all. The second voice caught me completely off guard. There were only four people in the den including me, at least that I knew of. So if Amy was talking to anyone it would probably be one of those three. That she was having a normal conversation, I couldn’t tell if it wasn’t so I assumed it was, with either of the remaining two residents was strange enough. That she would be having this pleasant normal conversation with Hope was just too strange for me to wrap my head around. Amy hated Hope. At least that’s what she’d led me to believe.
“I’m not interrupting anything private, am I?” I asked as I poke my head into the room.
“Nope.” Hope sighed. “We’re just playing chess. Not much else to do today.” They were actually playing chess, and they looked evenly matched, at least it looked that way by the amount of pieces they had both captured.
“Is Dante’s arm not available to cling to at the present moment, or is he just done manipulating you for now?”
“He gets annoyed easily if I try to interrupt him while he’s working on something.” She was completely unphased by my insult, which would have been annoying if I cared. Hope was just outside my field of caring though, more a background annoyance really. As long as Dante didn’t hand over the rights to my soul again I didn’t actually have a problem with her. “As he is now, I wouldn’t even recommend that you go in to his study. Even though he told me to get you as soon as you finished up. So yeah, you’re welcome.”
“Uh, thanks.” I wasn’t exactly sure how to take that. “You’re trying to trick me or something, right? He’ll just come in here in a few minutes and practically abduct me. I don’t imagine his mood will be very good by then either and I’ll get dumped in another nightmare fueled maze with more demonic whatevers trying to kill me.”
“I doubt it, I peeked in there a while ago and he was practically dragging his face across the parchment. When he gets like that he won’t even notice you standing right in front of him unless you take a good swing at him. Attacking him is also ill advised, he has very good reflexes. That pendant he gave me a while back was more than just a loving gesture, it was also an apology for what happened last time I tried to interrupt him.” She stopped for a moment to move a piece on the board, whatever she’d done it made Amy frown.
“You’re cheating aren’t you.” Amy groaned, any light of enjoyment that had been in her eyes before had died. The fact that there had been enjoyment, however tentative, and that it had been crushed so easily made me feel bad for her. I doubt she had many other means of entertainment.
“How could I possibly be cheating at chess without you knowing?” Hope smirked. Her attitude clearly not hiding the fact that she was actually cheating.
“You contracted for it didn’t you. What idiot chess master gave up their skill and what on earth could you have possibly have bribed him with?” Amy took a good long look at the board before making her next move.
“First off, you know I wouldn’t need to victimize a chess master to get chess skills. I could fool any old idiot into giving me their soul and the ability to dominate any opponent at chess. The fact of the matter is that I did not do so.” She actually had a serious expression now. Whether she was telling the truth or not I couldn’t say, but it looked like it. “I just read a few instructional manuals, on Dante’s suggestion of course. He figured if I ever wanted to get over torturing you I’d have to beat you some other, more fulfilling way.” Hope made her move quickly and confidently while Amy looked on furiously. “And I have to say, he was not wrong.”
“I don’t buy that you’ll ever stop wanting to put a knife through my heart, and honestly I’d prefer that to being beaten at the one thing I can say I enjoy and am better at than you.” Amy flicked over her king and slouched back into her chair with her arms folded. “But if you actually have changed your mind, prove it. Reset the board, we’re doing this until you convince me.”
“Oh I can already tell this is going to be more fun than I expected." Hope started moving the pieces back around. "You wanna stay white or do you feel like switching, although I don't exactly see the point, they both have their advantages. White gets the jump on black, black is able to reflect on white’s strategy before revealing their own. If you want I can even go get a timer." Her smug tone was annoying me, I knew it wasn't my place to intervene but I couldn't help myself.
“You're jealous of him, aren't you?" I muttered as I pressed my back against the wall and slid down into a sitting position. "I am too I guess... to some extent at least. You realize that the hate you feel whenever you see Amy makes you ugly. You know he sees it, and it makes you hate yourself a little, makes you want to do something about it."
“You seem to see things very clearly for someone who’s been around me for all of a cumulative three hours.” Hope shook her head, I thought I heard her chuckle but that could have just been me imagining more reasons to dislike her. “Tell me, am I supposed to be jealous of you?”
“Well, for one, I don’t utterly despise Dante.” As much as I hated him I didn’t really have a reason to. My enslavement as a collector was a result of my own bad choices. It did feel a bit like Stockholm syndrome, but had I listened to my own common sense and not taken the job from the creepy guy that seemed to know everything about me I wouldn’t be an immortal slave to Death. “Conversely he doesn’t hate my guts because I didn’t kill him. He doesn’t have that same ugly hate lingering around him that you do. Not that I see much of it right now, but it’s there.”
“You tried to do his job for him. Whether you actually killed him or not, he would normally hate you. He actually pretty much hates everyone, he just has a soft spot for girls. Particularly pretty girls. Whether I take offense at the ease at which he deceives or lies to me, or even hates me, is my choice. You’re just a girl, there’s absolutely nothing special about you and yet you think you have some sort of degree of higher learning in the field of behavioral or clinical psychology that lets you deduce the finer points of the lives of people you don’t even know.” She paused to move a piece on the chessboard before finally looking at me. Her gaze was steady and piercing, like a javelin running through my chest and sticking into the wall behind me. “You might think twice about making assumptions if you actually knew anything about any of us. It’s almost too bad Dante wants you living in a fantasy world.” She returned her gaze to the chessboard, but I still felt pinned to the wall. “Which is why I will elect to remain more or less kind to you. Your life could be so much worse than it is now, just remember that.”
“Okay, I’ll lock that treasure trove of information away.” I rolled my eyes. “So how does reading a few books on how imbeciles should play a board game make you better than Amy? Is your capacity to learn just that incredible or are you using some other gimmick?”
“It really shouldn’t have made her any better.” Amy frowned as she surveyed the board carefully. “Contractors can process information a little smoother than we can, I’m guessing the only reason I ever beat her before this was because she wasn’t even trying.” She moved a piece, I couldn’t actually see how the game was going from the floor, but I could guess that Hope still had the upper hand. “Which makes sense, she’d never really tried to do anything before because she never had to.”
“That is not true.” Hope replied defensively. “I’ve done plenty of things.”
“Apart from the ridiculous hunting expeditions and brief periods of social activity you have lived with your father nearly your entire life and had your needs met by him. The man even gave you an allowance of souls so you didn’t even have to contract.” Amy turned to me, the first time since I'd entered the room. "Don't think I'm letting you off the hook here, by the way. I heard you admit to not hating Dante. Where did that come from?"
“It came from thinking things over for a while. I understand that my dislike of him is mostly because he's the physical manifestation of the consequences of my poor decision making.” I actually put some time into what I was saying. I felt like I'd been prompted to speak more intelligently since becoming surrounded by ancient and highly intelligent supernatural business people. I felt a little dirty for copying them, but my survival instincts were telling me it would be a good idea to try and fit in. "In fact any negative feelings toward Dante, if not returned, just don't feel as satisfying. I won't say I'm fine with his behavior, because he can be pretty snooty, or that I don't mind that his entire little business thing runs on human souls. I'm just saying I don't have the same intense hate that you two have going on."
Amy turned back to the chessboard without responding. I couldn't see her face as she slouched over the table, and without a response I couldn't quite figure out why I felt disappointment slowly rolling out towards me. I couldn't even really figure out how I was feeling it. It was almost like I was feeling their moods. A long period of silence followed Amy’s feeling of disappointment. Neither Hope nor Amy made any moves, at least none that I heard and with the silence in the room I could have heard a pin drop.
“So… Hope.” I felt stupid just for speaking. The sound of my voice was definitely unwelcome in the current atmosphere. “What else do you do? Besides play chess and hang on Dante’s arm I mean.”
“Still with the attitude, I am making an effort to be nice here. The least you could do is not make it so blatantly obvious how much you dislike me.” I could tell she was actually making an effort not to get mad. The frustration in her voice was almost normalizing, she seemed more like a human being when she actually expressed herself in less dramatic ways. “I won’t deny that you have a valid question however. The problem with having an eternity is that you run out of things to do faster than you might think. Even the most imaginative person alive couldn’t fill up a forever, maybe three hundred years, but not forever. Before I met Dante and dedicated myself to him, I used to just wander places. I would say I took long enthusiastic walks, but I don’t think the actual length of my travel falls under the category of a walk. It was more like a pilgrimage, a journey where one seeks to find moral or spiritual significance. I was obviously doing it wrong though, because I found neither moral nor spiritual significance just by wandering the streets of random cities in an aimless shuffle.” Hope sighed. “That is what I did, and while it doesn’t exactly answer your question of what I do I hope it gives you an idea of what it’s like living a purposeless life.”
“You’re right.” I said calmly. “That doesn’t answer my question.”
“I read books.” Hope replied blankly. “Dante has one of the largest private libraries in existence, even though the majority of it was a gift from my father. I don’t know why I didn’t read to fill the time before now, it does much less damage to the mind.”
“I don’t read, it’s boring.” I was starting to sound like the biggest snob I had ever known. Not that I had really known any snobs before, but if I ever met one they probably wouldn’t be this bad. Getting under Hope’s skin was probably the dumbest way I could fill my time, but for some reason I found it incredibly gratifying.
“You enjoyed Dear Death.” Amy interjected, I could tell she was a little entertained by the discussion as well. I wasn’t getting the same disappointed vibe from her anymore.
“Well it wasn’t bad, tolerable really, I don’t think the term enjoyment fits quite right.” I couldn’t help but smile a little.
“I enjoyed it, the author was a bit of an idiot, but he was a good enough writer.” Hope was shaking her head. I wouldn’t have been surprised if she were actually smiling as well. “You know another thing that I enjoyed doing to fill the time was having these little sarcastic arguments with people where everyone tried to get under someone else's’ skin.”
“Ugh, really?” Amy groaned. “You ruined it. You don’t talk about the joke while the joke is happening, it ruins the tension. It’s like explaining an inside joke to someone.” I laughed as Hope dropped her head. “I mean I get that you haven’t socialized in ages, but there is really no excuse for that.”
“It’s fine.” I said, suppressing the quiet laughter. “It was just as entertaining. It just cut the whole thing short, which means we have to think of something else to do.”
“You can play winner.” Amy hummed as she turned back to the chess board.
“Since Hope is so good all of the sudden, why don’t we both play her at the same time.” I stood up and walked over to the table. “If you have a second set…?”