Raeneris

Raeneris was slowly woke up from his dreamless sleep, he was slowly becoming aware, he was still tired from the long walk he had done to reach the forest.

thousands of little pressures were moving on his legs, they were relaxing and some of them tickled him. somehow he managed to think to scratch them but his mind went black again. the little pressures went from the legs to the belly and, some of them, even to the chest. the more there were, the faster he regained consciousness and at some point when he was still with his eyes closed and his mind between dream and reality he had an illumination.

he remember having a fast walking pace towards the forest, he was scared, alone and cold, his mind was replaying the last discussion with Silmo. <> thought about all of his journey but he never thought about turning back, he was sure his idea was the best, or at least he was trying to convince himself of it. he doesn't remember how far and how deep in the forest he went but he was sure of one thing, for sleep he chose a hole on the ground and slept.

<> he thought. he would have said it but the only thing came out of his mouth were confused mix of screams and letters. as he thought it his body moves, but he was not fully awake yet, instead to exit from the hole he slammed near it and then, after some trying unsuccessfully to get rid off the insects he managed to get out from it.

he quickly stood up and clean himself, although all the insects fell off the sensation of thousands of little pressures never disappeared, making him continue to clean himself for a longer time.

he stopped panicking and slowly he was getting calmer. "what a fucking idea. how disgusting." he said to no one.

the air was still pretty cold, the forest was a dark place full of same long trees that disappeared in the dark. he was still feeling cold but he wasn't freezing to death as before, the little hole protected him from the cold and created a small enviroment warmed by his heat. he looked around, everything remainded still as he left it, for how much he could see, it was still dark and trees made the scenario more creepy.

<> with a refreshed mind his thoughts were processed at the speed of light.

frenetically he started to look around but the only thing he could saw where the trees at few meters away from him, then the darkness hid everything. he reached out to grab the phone from his pants but he couldn't find it.

<> the mere thought of having to go back in there made him shiver but he had no choice.

after some time contemplating various methods to recover his phone, he surrendered and, disgusted, put the hand inside it and started to touch the ground, hoping to touch it.

first he touched some insects, some run away and some stuck to his fingers. a little disgusted and not very manly scream came out of his mouth every time he touches an insects. "why the fuck the films make the forest a nice place to sleep and stay" his complaing were lost through the forest.

<> with a heavy sigh he went into it and with fast touches he managed to find it and exit as fast as he entered.

"fuck it, next time i'll sleep outside." he cleaned his phone from the dirt. "it's still dark, for how long i've slept, thirty minutes?" said while turning on the screen and the light blinded him. his eyes were so well adapted to the dark that the sudden screen's light blinded him for a good amout of time. he tried many times to saw the hour and yet his eyes hurted every time.

after a while his eyes adapted enough to let him saw the screen for a couple of seconds, enough to read: 8.53 am, monday, 1 jan.

"why is everything so dark then" said as he was looking around. "maybe the leaves?" turning his gaze upwards to the sky.

the trees were full of branches and leaves, which cover most of the sky leaving only a line continuous line between leaves of a tree and the leaves of another tree and so on. this line should let some light pass through, reaching the ground. only if there was some light, the sky was pure black for the most part, he was standing at the perfect edge where the total black of the sky ends and the normal light blue color of the sky began and extended beyond the leaves toward the center of the forest

<> think while moving his look from the sky to the deeper zone of the forest under the normal sky, but the only thing visible was darkness, it was all dark around him. <> he looked at the screen again. "40%."

"i'm fucked."

he stared at the screen for a couple of second, lost in his thought, then he had to look away because his eyes hurted again. he realized he was standing in front of the hole all this time, if the animal returned he would be dead. so, for a moment, he illuminated the ground and the sorroundings with the flashlight. everything he saw was an infinite amounts of trees, except for a wide tree standing next to a hill formed in part of medium rocks, dirt and grass. he walked forward for a dozens or more meters and sit down with the back leaned to the tree trunk.

now he realized how quiet is the forest, sometimes he could hear some birds's chirping, but except for this and the rustling of leaves no other sound could be heared. leaned to the tree he made sure to be very aware of the surronding, without light the only sense he could trust was his hearing.

<> his look switched continuously from the sky to the deep forest at his right and vice versa. <>

he started to recall memories of a few hours ago and he remember a detail he had forgotten until that moment, that strange voice before the disaster.

<> he returned to reality and looked ahead of him. <> a sudden chirping scared him a little bit, interrupting his thoughts's flow, and then the silence returned.

<> his thought's flow stopped and he just contemplated the endless darkness ahead of him.

<> his eyes opened up as if he had received enlightenment.

<>. the scene of destroyed and falling buildings began to flow in his head, his missed call and the photos of the luxury restaurant his mother showed him didn't reassured him. it was in one of those skyscrapers, it was another one of mom's expensive desires, she talked about it to him so many times that he was almost sure he had been there.

he knows that probably they died crushed from the rubble, many times he pushed away those images out of his head and they always came back. the first times made him cry and panic, the very first time he hoped appeared normal in front of Silmo, those thoughts quickly vanished away as there were more important things to think about it back then. after he walked away from Silmo he remained alone with his thoughts, he was still scared and on alert for monsters, but the more he walked and the more he tried to convince himself that there wasn't anything and he was safe, the more the felt safe and more times those images appeared, they were so vivid that he could see them dead hidden in the darkness around him.

he was still sad about it, he knows he'll have no one to go back to when it's all over, they weren't the best parents but he knows they've tried to be. yet deep down he still hope they are safe, no matter how many times he tell to himself that they're dead.

<> was the phrase he used like a mantra when his brain recalls that moment and the moments when he and Silmo split up, every phrase was meant to push away one memory.

he walked alone in the hills towards the forest surrounded by darkness and armed with only his phone's flashlight, which turned on only for brief moments. he was scared as hell in the first moments, so scared that he didn't felt the cold anymore, he questioned his choice, he cursed himself for what he thought and what he did in that moment, he was crushed by doubts and emotions, but at the same time, he was secure that he made the right choice and Silmo was a fool to not have followed him.

all of this prevented him to go back and rejoin Silmo, or maybe it was just his pride, or maybe because he was less and less scared the more he walked in that hill. He just wanted someone else with him but the only thing that kept him company was his mantra.

"I'm on my own now" his whispered words flew away in the darkness. those words gave him the strength in difficult moments, no matter if he was surrounded by friends, family, or what at that times he called best-friends, with time he understood that he was always alone, always on his own, everyone had always someone else to hang our or be with. same as him, he had always someone else but for him the situation was different, he gave always all himself for everyone but they didn't reciprocate it, he understood that nobody really wanted him and made his loneliness his strength.

"i'm on my own, i am the priority." he needed to push away the images of his dead parents, he couldn't do anything about it and it didn't matter if he thought about them that wouldn't resolve anything, so he decided that the better solution was to push them away. yet from the darkness he could see them and more times they appeared and the more insensitive he became about it.

tired and freezing he finally arrived at the forest, for a moment he regretted his choice, it was thicker and more creepy than he expected but it was the only right choice to survive, and so he entered.

he walked around trying to find a place where sleep, his feet were hurting and he was always on alert for strange sounds that could be easily heard in that quiet forest. the thought of being alone was at once frightening and reassuring, who would escape from the comfortable city to come to the forest, so all of the monsters are in the city, but in a situation of danger he would have no one to help him but himself.

after a long walk he found a hole in the ground, tired and cold he decided without hesitation to enter it.

before falling asleep his mind once again reminded him of Silmo going to the city, toward his grave, he should have not let him go, it was his fault, he left his friend die than try to convince him to go with him. he cursed himself, he was such a selfish piece of shit, he didn't drop a tear for his parents, and let a good friend die like that.

<> those were the last words he could think of before falling into a dreamless sleep.