My name is....well I'm not the type of person to loving introducing himself with something as trivial as a name. If I ever presented my self it will be with my skill and only my skill. You see I am the type of person who want to prove to the world he is skilled, incredibly skilled. Psychologist would call this self estime issue but I prefer calling it drive for excellency. You see we live in a society where mediocrity is accepted. Like those price given to people who tried. Well, I view things differently. Like in a darwinian system: the survival of the fittest. Only the skilled survived.

Maybe that's why I started to immerse myself at video game. One of the fastest way to prove you are good at something. People usually play for the sake of enjoying, I play for the sake of mastery. Well, maybe that's why I don't have a tone of friend. Like who would enjoy losing endlessly against me.

I tried a lot of game and  mastered them as if it was a competition. I get a thirst for the hardest game more and more until I found it: "terror and anguish". An rpg game where you explore a dungeon to kill the demon controlling it. 

That game was so hard that people quit before finishing even the tutorial: an unforgiving game. I was no different at first. Damn it was hard. Even passing the first level took me a year of trial and error. 

But I persevered. Why you may ask me? To brag of course! Like finishing a huge exploit. 

So today I started my morning routine of gaming session.

A coffee, a chips and 10 hours of suffering

As I stare a the light shining coming from my  cup, I recall that it's been 5 years that I play that shitty game. Now I get to the climax, the final battle. I even went so far as to study the code of the game to find a way to beat this boss but nothing work. Maybe it's impossible in the first place. 

The tone of the game is like  in medieval europa. The synopsis is of course a bit cliche  : "A war broke between the human and the non-human. As human praised antropomorphism, the war was inevitable. But the one-hundred years war between them conclude to an armistice as none of them could get a decisive win. Choose your ways of dealing with it: exterminate the human kind , exterminate the non-human, reconciliate them,...It was a game with multiple ending depending on the player choice." People call this game a dungeon game as you usually invade the place of the non-human but after 5 years of playing, I found a different way of seeing things. The scale of the game is further because what if you don't enter the dungeon and try to solve everything politically? That's the secret of the level 1 and  the reason why so many people just die without even passing the intro. Who the hell created a such stupid game? A pseudo dungeon game but is in reality an open world? Who beside me would even think that the solution of the game is outside the dungeon? Well it took me just a few 10 000 trial to figure it but still...

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The problem is still there, that boss is too hard. That game doesn't even have a save point so if I fail here, I'll have to restart again and entering a new route. If only I could enter inside this game. It would be more easy than watching this character I use doing stupide decision. 

.......................

You are dead

No!!!!! One more time, one more time. One more time and I'll finish that game.

I stared at that same screen that gave me nightmare for the last 5 years. Trying, dying, trying, dying, trying, dying...if I could talk with those things like in real life it would be more easy though.

Knock...knock

My sister knocked at door.

"Onii-san, your food is ready"

I forgot that I last eated meals 3 days ago  I was too submerged in this game. My sister know that I hate eating normal food so she cook for me personally. My plate must be constituated by only yellow aliment and must not contain anything from animal. Those odd habit was the very thing that constituated my skill.

I choose to go out of my room for once. You know it's not because I just throw away a whole year of progress by losing to that boss. Ahahaha...

My parent were particularly both horrible parent and useful people. They allow me to stay here playing game the whole day but at the same time they insiste that I must perform well. Even in video game! You know those kind of parent who evaluate you based on your success.  

I remember that once my dad literally burned my skin because of low grade at school.

My dad was particularly obsessed of the idea of breeding the perfect son. He forced all of us since childhood to be the best at everything and yet it broke all my siblings. I often found that he see us more like laboratory experiment than true children.

All hail to me: the greatest rat of laboratory 

A normal person would despise such a dad but I was far from normal too. I didn't hated or liked him personally. 

My mother was worse. She was emotionally unstable. She is the type of person that I would call "an imperfection". The type of person who act on impulse. An impulse that caused my demise.

There was a reason why I spent so much in my room alone. It was to avoid hearing that women hysterically yelling all day. But today it was very quiet. Something bad is going to happen..

My father, my mother and my sibling were all sitting quietly eating their dinner. The mood was heavy.

My father open his mouth

"I have to tell you something. Your mother and me had choose to proceed to a divorce."

It was not very surprising. Knowing how crazy was my mother, I too would run away if I get such a wife. It was the face of my mother who was surprising. She seems calm despite the severity of that announce. I always thought my mother was some kind of yandere but she seems to accept it easily.

After 10 minute, my mother finally spoke with a cold voice. No darling, we are a family and a family stay together. Since we can't be together in this life, we will be in death.

It can't be.....I always knew that my mother had some screw in her head but not at the point to have done this. This food ,it's poisoned! 

This kind of phenomene was called an altruistic suicide when family member killed there own family before killing themself. "Altruistic" really an odd name.

I cought blood and the last things I could think off was my game...

That game Terror and anguish, I couldn't even finishing it before dying?

......

Pitch darkness, so dark, no it was not dark. Darkness is the absence of light but this color, no human word could describe it properly. Something darker than darkness itself. 

A floating screen appeared in front of me with a single question

"Do you want to continue?"