Bec woke up with one killer headache. Grumbling, she felt around for her Timelet… and couldn’t find it. She bolted up. It was gone… and she was in her underwear. “What the f—”
“Mmmm—shut up.” Black was laying on some kind of recliner with an ice pack on his head.
“Black…” Panic rose in Bec’s throat, and she almost shouted, “my Timelet… and my clothes? What happened? It’s gone! My clothes are gone. I don’t know where it is! Or my clothes!?”
A shushing sound came from the floor. Bec peered over the bed to see that Scarlet was laying in what was basically a huge pile of laundry on the ground. “Please Bec, whatever it is, it can wait until morning.”
Bec looked out to the balcony of this room they were in to see a sun-swept cityscape from on high. “It is morning, Scarlet.”
A muffled response followed. “Not if I put this pillow on my face.”
“The Timelet. Scarlet. Immortality? Answer the questions of the universe? Yaddah, yaddah? Ring any bells?”
Scarlet emerged from the improvised bed. “You lost what now?”
Black groaned, icepack rustling as he complained. “The Timelet. She lost the stupid Timelet and her clothes.”
Scarlet scoffed. “And what about you? Did you lose your manners somewhere, hmm? You know icepacks don’t help with a hangover.”
He looked her dead in the eyes with his dead eyes. “It’s not just a hangover I’m nursing.” Black had a black eye. Bec snickered, prompting him to shoot her a withering look.
“Bec, we’ll find your Timelet. For the right price, we can get anything.” Black yawned. “Oy, AmiGo! Where is Bec’s Timelet?”
Bec watched as something weird happened. From the wall across from them, a neon green outline of a dog emerged. It poked its head out like it was waiting there the whole time hidden behind the vanity mirror. It strut around the wall and stretched. It wagged its tail then stopped when it glanced at her with recognition.
Its mouth opened wide and spoke words, “I’m afraid I can’t give you that information, Robert.”
Black swiveled to look at the dog. “What? How is that possible? Bec just got here!”
The dog started to play with a ball it conjured. “I’m sorry, Robert. My hands are tied. Orders from on high.”
Black groaned. “How high?”
“The highest.” Black groaned even harder. He knew the answer already, and yet he still asked.
“Tell my dad to fuck off.”
“Would you like to send the message for 25m LC?”
“Yes! Insane that’s the price, but I don’t care.” Black waved his hands causing a neon green pigeon to appear on the wall as though it flew in from the closed balcony window. It coo’d and pecked an envelope that formed from the dog’s mouth. It flew off. She heard a *kaching* sound of money leaving Black.
Black grumbled something about overpriced messaging, so Bec introduced herself. “Hi, AmiGo. I’m Bec. I’ve heard a lot about you.” The dog turned and growled.
It snapped at her. “I know who you are.”
“Me?”
“Yeah, Bec. You.” *kaching*
“What was that?”
“I charged you money.” *kaching*
“Wha—”
“Bec, for the everlasting fuck, don’t ask another question or I will punt you out the window and leave it up to AmiGo to catch you.” Scarlet sat with her eyes closed as she leaned against the nightstand.
“You charge me money for each question?”
“Yes.” *kaching*
“What the fuck?”
“I’m charging you money for your questions.” *kaching*
“BEC! How stupid are you?”
AmiGo barked. “Soooo stupid. Like, my scale for intelligences needed to be reworked to accommodate this outlier.”
“Hey, why did—” Bec cleared her throat. “I noticed, Black… that it answered your question for free.”
Black winced. “Seems like you got on his shit list.”
“Her shit list. Bec, whatever AmiGo is, don’t call her an it.”
Bec felt like she was walking on eggshells. She needed to fix this. The nearly omnipotent AI that ran this city didn’t like her. That was not good. Not good at all. “Well! Hello, AmiGo. I’m so sorry. I believe we got off on the wrong foot. Or I guess, paw in your case.” Bec extended her hand out to the flat wall dog. “Can we start over?”
“No, Bec, NO!”
The dog pantomimed a shaking paw. “That was a truly awful attempt at humor, but sure. I’ll throw you a bone.”
It flickered. “Hello! I’m AmiGo! Pleased remeet you!” A louder than normal *kaching* sound filled the air and the sound of an avalanche of coins pouring filled the air. It went on for maybe 10 uninterrupted seconds.
“Bec. You dumb, stu—”
Bec looked flabbergasted at Black. “How much did I lose?”
AmiGo answered first causing her to flinch. “Balance: negative four trillion three hundred fifty-six billion two hundred sixty-nine million nine hundred sixty-seven thousand two hundred ninety-six LuCre. Or -4 356 269 967 296 LC. I sent the number to you directly.”
No *kaching* noise. Bec could feel the huge number worm in her brain. No *kaching* at all. She straightened her back.
“So, AmiGo. I take it that you don’t hate me enough to charge for me for trying to get to know you?”
The dog shook its head. “Nope, you’re good in my book. Forgive and forget, that’s what I say.”
“For… what 4 trillion LC?”
AmiGo responded with an accent like a mobster. “You wanted me to forget everything about you that I knew, eh? That’s a hefty price tah pay. I will be helping myself to 75% of all LC you make until the debt is paid off.” The dog’s outstretched paw somehow gesticulated to that point. “Capeesh?”
“Yeah, yeah.” Bec giggled with a smile. “Capeesh.”
Scarlet was up on her feet, but her eyes sagged. “Black, that has got to be the worst AmiGo introduction of all time.”
“The books really don’t compare to watching it in person. It really hasn’t dawned on her how fucked the situation she just put herself in. She’s laughing”
Bec looked mad. “Yeah, I get it, I screwed up. It’s too late now. I thought the accent was funny, so what.”
“Bec, you were a millionaire. You could have lived comfortably for a year in the spa level with that. You are now supposed to pay off money that’s…” Scarlet tilted her head back and forth. “I think you’d easily be something like the 50th richest individual in the city with that kind of money.”
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“Well, I don’t see how to fix that right now, so let’s find my Timelet, then we’ll figure this out.”
AmiGo barked out a laugh. “Robert! I like this girl!”
Black slapped his face in frustration. “Thanks.”
~~~
“Objective: First stop to finding the Timelet! Return to the Round Table!” Bec stepped out onto the road outside of the tree. She had searched the pile of clothes for her Timelet to no avail. It was all cleaned thanks to the room’s clean field, but she was forced to wear a baggy button-down and jeans that were constantly falling. Not one piece of clothes fit her. Bec whirled left, then right. “Which way again? Black?”
Black sighed and started walking. Bec and Scarlet followed. They were walking around, and Bec tried to soak in the sights. This felt like it was the first time they’d walked these streets although it obviously wasn’t. After a walk through a market, they passed through a narrow side street. As they passed by some quaint little shop with hand-painted statues in the window, they found a man batting his broom another man on the ground.
“Get up, ya bum! You’re killing the foot traffic.”
As they approached the ruckus, Bec gasped. “That’s the guy from last night! The posh guy!”
“I’m up, I’m up! Calm down you, old codger! I’m sorry. I’m—OW—sorry!”
“GIT. Now git!” The man scrambled to his feet and fled immediately into Bec’s group. “Oh, It’s Endless Bec. Scarlet.” He looked at the girls with a nod. “And Black!” He hugged the immediately confused Black. “Buddy, I see the shiner’s still healing.”
Black just kind of gaped, looking like a deer in headlights. “Hello, you’re awfully friendly?” Black looked down. “In what seems to be your underwear, too.”
“And why wouldn’t I?” He took a ponderous tone. “We’ve met on the battlefield. Man to man. Mano y mano.” His eyes watered. “A fight like that? I won’t ever forget it. I—”
He sniffed. “It makes me so happy to find someone I can trust.”
“I—uhhh—” Black patted the guy on the back. “It was—great for me, too?” Black didn’t mean to make that sound like a question, but he let it slip out.
The man ignored. Instead, he pulled back and looked Black in the eyes with a fiery passion. A thought floated through Black’s mind like a dove flying from a cage. He’s in love with me, oh damn. I knew I was good, but this good?What he said out loud was more akin to a prolonged “UUUUUH.” He flushed redder than Scarlet.
“You… inspire me. Rival.” The dove that flittered in his mind crashed into a plate glass window.
Bec put her hands on her hips. “Whaaaat, I want a rival…” She looked over to Scarlet.
“Not in a thousand years, Bec.”
The men broke their embrace. The posh man had a huge smile. Black… not so much.
“D-do you always give your rivals such a spirited embrace?”
“I don’t know. You’re my first.”
“OKAY, seriously? We need to talk about your word choice.”
“Ah, yes. My diction.”
~~~
The party, now one man stronger, arrived at the Round Table, when the posh man asked, “why are you guys coming back here?”
“Bec lost her data slate in a drunken stupor.” Scarlet sighed. She was wearing sunglasses. When did that happen?
“Yeah, I’d lose my ass if it weren’t attached to me.” He bent over and grabbed his ass cheeks with both hands for emphasis. Unbelievably crass despite the suave accent.
“Mmm, lovely.”
The group entered the bar to see the manager groan. “Not you all again.”
“I take it we made an impression last night?”
He pointed at Bec accusatorily. “Well, for starters, this little girl challenged half the room to an arm-wrestling contest. These two men,” he pointed at Black and the posh man. “You two are very sweet… but you,” He looked at Scarlet. “You sicken me.”
Scarlet pressed her hand to her mouth in shock. “ME? What did I do?”
The man just shuddered.
Bec pulled in between Scarlet and the man. “This isn’t important right now! Sir, I misplaced my slate, and the last time I can remember having it was here. The food and drink here are absolutely amazing, by the way.”
The man polished a glass and nodded. “Since you seem genuinely sorry, I’ll help you out. So, the arm wrestling, yeah, that would be the problem. You were winning… until a certain man came in. Ludo.” He turned around and gave the mirrored back wall a gesture. The wall flickered to life. It showed a security feed from last night. The manager scrubbed through last night in chunks.
“Bec! Bec! Bec! Be—” They were all sitting at the table swinging their glasses and cheering. The footage scrambled forward.
“I’ll take any ya on. I’m *burp* I’m can do it like Rosie the rivulet.” That was Bec showing off her bicep. The footage scanned a little faster as a line formed, and Bec started winning one after another. Slowly, a pile of clothes started growing on the floor next to Bec.
“Woah woah woah, what is that!?”
The posh man sighed. “I can answer that. Strip arm wrestling. It’s why I’m in my skivvies.”
“Strip arm wrestling?”
“Ye, like if you lose, you lose your clothes?”
Bec frowned. “I figured that out. But…” Bec watched as the pile grew and saw a series of nearly nude men walked away from the table. “But… why?” Bec was wildly unfamiliar with the woman she watched at the table.
The fast-forwarding slowed. A tall man that looked like he had been ripped straight from a silent movie waited in line. He was in a pinstriped suit, wearing white gloves, and wearing a dapper top hat. Bec’s first thought was, spot the main character. “That’s the guy?”
The bartender nodded. “Ludo. That’s the only name I know him by. He’s an odd fellow.”
“Obviously.”
“He’s a gamer.”
“Beg your pardon.” Bec was getting a lot of rapid-fire surprises today.
“If there is a game, Ludo will be there. He loves ‘em. New video game. Ludo’s there. Chess tournament. Ludo. Poker. Ludo. Pogs. Ludo.”
Bec nodded. She, too, liked games, but to make it a central part of one’s identity? Hmm. She was about to say that was embarrassing, but it honestly just sounded fun.
His turn was up.
“Oh, ho? Is this a game of strip arm wrestling that I see?”
Bec swayed at her seat. “Yeah man, you were watching in the line. DuuUUuh.” Bec whirled her finger around her temple.
“Just so the rules are clear, the loser must remove everything from their person barring their undergarments if the back of their hand presses to the table, correct?”
“Uhh, yaaa. That’s strip arm wrestling. Come on and let’s go. I’ll really enjoy seeing your pasty ass walk from this table.” Present-day Bec did not like drunk Bec at all.
“Perfect!”
Bec and Ludo readied their positions. They flexed. It emanated an energy that quieted nearby carouser. Slowly, Bec was gaining territory on the man. Inching closer to the table, suddenly, Bec’s arm gave out and it slammed into the table.
Bec stood up, unsteady. “I… I lost.”
“Indeed you did. Now hand it all over.” His gloved hand beckoned.
Bec stripped down to her underwear unsteadily and handed over the pile.
The man clicked his tongue. “Tut tut tut, the rules stated everything on the person except their undergarments. Correct?”
“I gave you—” Bec looked down to see her holstered Timelet hanging on her waist. “No way. Not happening.”
“I’m afraid you must.”
“Nope.”
“AmiGooo~” The man called.
A bird landed on the table. Well, the green outline appeared on the table flat, but in a way that gave it depth even to the camera. It chirped words, “Hello new citizen! Bec, is it? I’m afraid I’m going to have to agree with Ludo here. You agreed to give him everything except your undergarments.”
The barkeep started fast-forwarding.
Bec panicked. “Wait, why are you doing that?”
“It… got ugly.”
The fast-forwarding paused for a moment letting Bec hear a snippet of what the flailing, pacing girl on screen was saying.
“—ou’re so stuuuupid. Oh, la de da, I’m a conscious life form that can’t understand implicit contracts and my butt sti—”
The fast-forwarding speed up as Bec wildly gesticulated, flailed on the floor, and rolled around.
“I take it back. Now that was the worst AmiGo introduction I’ve ever heard of.”
The feed showed people beginning to shuffle out of the bar now. The feed cut suddenly to show the exterior of the bar. Bec stood there in her bra and panties holding a wad of clothes she seemed to forget she could wear while Scarlet was just idly standing around. Black and the posh man were talking.
“You’re my rival, maaan.”
“No no no, good sir, you’re my rival.” Black and the posh man were practically hanging off each other.
Black frowned. “Heeeey, what did that have to do with the data slate she lost?”
“Nothing, I just thought it was funny.” The bartender chuckled to himself as the wall powered down and he turned back to polishing the counter.
“Wait, but what did I do?” Scarlet was restlessly tapping her feet the whole time the security feed played out, eyeing herself in every scene. The bartender’s smile deflated like a balloon three days after a birthday. He pointed to the door.
“Enough. Get out before I ban you for life.”
~~~
Out on the street, the group collected themselves. The posh man let out a sigh of satisfaction and smiled, “Well, that was interesting. Where next?”
Bec looked at the posh man, then Black, then Scarlet, then the posh man again. A long silence filled the air. Bec couldn’t stand it, so she said what everyone was thinking.
“Okay, who the hell are you? I’m sorry, but none of us remember much from last night, most of all you.”
The posh man gaped. He looked at Scarlet whose response was to tighten her lips into a line. He looked at Black who shrugged. He grasped his chest. “Ah, th-this is a wretched thing. To be denied the revelatory grace of our duel together?” Black shook his head sadly.
“And what about Scarlet, I’m pretty sure you invited me to live with you for a month? Rent-free, of course.”
“I’m one hundred percent sure I didn’t say that.” Scarlet huffed.
He shrugged. “You didn’t, but it was worth a shot.”
With a flourish of his wrist, the posh man posed. “I am Dorian. Master artist and nomad of the city. I wander the tower endlessly looking for my next inspiration.” He opened his arms out to Black. “I have found my new calling.”
“Me? I’m your new calling?” Black flushed again.
“No. My calling is… combat.”
“Combat?” Bec cocked her head to the side.
“Mmm, yes! The rush of battle. The anguish of defeat. The ascendancy of conquessssta.” He dragged out the last syllable of ‘conquest’ like he was in a melodrama.
Bec side-eyed Black. “Is that where your black eye came from? This guy conquering you?”
“Oh, no. He positively dominated me.” He lifted his scant undershirt to reveal dark black and green bruises from his chest to his ribs to his back. “I got one good hit in, and oh, what a rush it was! If it weren’t for the alcohol, I’d probably be fine now… but you know how booze is.” Bec didn’t.
Black cleared his throat. “So, I inspired you?”
“That you did, Black. Your form. Your grace. I have never seen such raw technique. Your hands.” He reached out to grasp one of Black’s hands. Black didn’t let him. “Your hand. They are honed killing machines. Truly, I’ve never met a man who commands his body as well as me. When our bodies met, I felt alive!” Bec snickered at that last bit.
“Stooop.” Black groaned. “You have to be doing this on purpose.”
“Doing what on purpose?”
“The innuendos. You’re as subtle as a bull in a china shop.”
“I will take that as a compliment. The bull knows precisely what…” Dorian flicked his wrist and posed. “… and whom to smash.”