back to the first part
why do I run?
What do I seek?
Isn't this all pointless.?
Its pointless right?
Do I seek myself?
Do I seek 'something'?
Or is it a person? A place ?
I don't know.
But I run.
I don't know.
But I searched.
"Bang" for the first time in forever. I felt physical pain.
I heard a sound. I heard I touched I smelt I felt a wall.
I know it. What I want resides beyond this.
My body knows it.
My legs arms and head smashing itself against the wall.
Seemingly to want to get out.
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My head went.
Again and again.
Then, a crack appeared. And for the first time in forever. I saw light.
Desperately I jumped on the little bit of warmth there is present as my arms and legs moved faster and faster.
Smashing
Hitting
Digging
Clawing
Against the wall.
"Bang"
I came out.
Into the light. Surrounded by skeletons of various shapes and sizes, I came out.
What happened here?
Who did this?
None of that matters.
I cried as I kneeled against the gloriousness of light itself.
.....
As it appears, I was stuck in a ravine. Slowly, I clawed against the wall.
Slowly.
Slowly.
I made my way out.
....
"Tak tak tak" my footsteps finally echoed in the forest full of life.
There a young man in his twenties saw me.
He kneeled down.
He cried.
"Why are you crying Paul?" A women comforted the man by his side.
He does not reply. And he continues to shed his tears.
My heart ached.
For some reason, witnessing a grown man cry caused my heart to ache.
But I carried on.
Moving through the forest.
I arrived at a house above a hill.
.....
...
There I saw a middle aged women with brown hair.
Emotions weld up inside of me.
What was this?
I didn't know.
And as her hand cradled her child who just came out of the house.
Something inside me broke.
..
I don't know what.
Wwhy?
Why?
WHY?
Do I cry?
Why does it hurt so?
The women approached me.
Her eyes too in tears.
Yet without hearing her speak, all my energy in my body went towards my lips.
A crooked voice. Not used in many years came out.
"I see."
I muttered towards her .
I turned my back, and headed off towards where my legs could carry me.
~~
~
I found myself in a silent forest.
My one eye bleading. My tattered body moved towards a place I sensed life.
Through the bushes. I saw a group of youths on cotton beds.
Instinctively, I shouted "RUN"
Why?
I don't know.
There I saw a group of three young youths. My heart tingled for reasons unknown.
With all my being, I wished dearly for their survival.
Then, a group of beasts appeared before me.
That was when, I truly could lay down to rest.