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Cold as Snow
Chapter 14: Regaining What Was Lost

Chapter 14: Regaining What Was Lost

“You must set the future free so that it can come true; release me from my bonds so you may succeed against the Hyouga tribe,” Yume gave a sentimental glance, “Release me.”

Nada warily turned around to face me and spoke in an annoyed tone to the Dreams of Children, “Any clues?”

Yume cocked his head and raised an eyebrow, a small smile furrowing through. “What do you suggest?” His tone made it quite clear what he was saying- a full out, no exceptions, “No.”

While Nada yelled at Yume to play fair, I ran through all of the reasonable ideas that could allow Yume and us to escape.

In my mind I saw her dead, her blood upon my fingers, her perfect body snapped and golden hair streaked with red.

A memory flashed by me, and despite it being of my sister’s death, I smiled slightly.

“That’s perfect!”

I curved my body so that I was on my hands and knees and lightly brushed my hand over the churning patterns of the prophecy. I moved it across, searching for some disturbance in the smooth flooring. When Nada moved to join me, I explained my reasoning, “Maybe…a secret door?” I muttered under my breath casually, my full attention on proving my idea.

Nada snorted as I spoke, “You’ve seen too many spy movies, it seems?”

I laughed quietly. “Not as many as you think, only enough to last five years. My sister was addicted to them, and I was attached to her. Naturally, I too, became overly keen on the subject.” I stopped and looked up to Nada.

“Right…” Nada trailed off, searching around the prophecy for any hint on to what Yume wanted us to accomplish.

“She… would always call out to the television, telling the characters what to do… then she would explain to me ways of getting out of the situation. When she said I should have a turn, I gave myself supernatural powers so it was easy to get out… and she yelled that it had to be serious. I said I was, and that I wanted those powers and I was going to get them…” I trailed off, not really sure if Nada was paying me any attention. “But, as Hiruko says,” I looked up to her, “This is Aaron. That is a memory.”

She laughed casually and I looked up to her. “You don’t know, do you? About Hiruko?”

Nada turned to me, shrugging her shoulders in question. “What do you mean?”

“Oh.” I coughed awkwardly and looked up to her. “I would have thought…” Secretly I was glad to share something with Hiruko that Nada did not.

So what came next crushed my pride utterly.

Nada stared at me for a moment before giving an impudent look and grinning, “Oh, that! The human to cat thing?”

I gave her a shocked look, which meant, “That little dare-devil cat is going to get beaten up real bad!” How could he think to do that? But what was most frustrating was that Nada didn’t seem to even care.

Nada raised an eyebrow at my frustrated growling. “You seemed annoyed about that… did you think that he hadn’t told me? All that time he had spent with me on the way here was telling me slowly about his life. I was too shocked to even think about it. But, I think,” her smile vanished to be replaced by a stoic look, “I think he had already mustered up the courage to speak to you, so it was easy to spill it out to me.” Nada beamed erratically, “But it took that cat some time about the prophecy.”

I looked up to her and remembered something extremely important.

“Nada!” I called out to her. She turned from her work and looked to me. “You do know, don’t you? About Vice?” She gave me a confused look and shook her head.

“The man that brought me here?” I nodded at her.

“Hiruko was probably caught up in a lot of things… Vice…Vice is the enemy!” Nada said nothing but stared at me. “Hiruko says he needs us both.” Her brow furrowed in anger and she walked away with a bland look, searching the walls and floors in desperation.

I swallowed the frustration quickly and turned away from Nada, absorbed with the work ahead. All that time, we knew something about the enemy, whilst Nada..Nada only had a shadow, a glimpse, nothing solid. Perhaps a little imagination of some dark creature. But surely, surely, she would have questioned the reason for her being here? Even just recently? And if she had not questioned it of herself, wouldn’t she others? Were they all brought here by that one little man who was so willing to destroy Nada’s life, trick her to death, to gain revenge?

“Nada?” The girl solemnly turned to me with a quizzical glance.

“Yes?” She asked, almost impatiently.

“..Did you…did you think you were meant to be something greater? I mean, in life…”

“Doesn’t everyone? A fairy, or a princess, something secret or hidden- something you’ve forgotten...” I looked at her face. Whether she knew it or not, that had been quite the answer.

“Hmm…and, what about you being here? Sent to the Soul Tower; no ordinary soul would be able to do that in a matter of seconds, didn’t you-”

“Dead, Aaron, dead! While you’re used to that idea and have been for years, I wasn’t. I’m not used to you being dead, nor Hiruko, nor Keira. You all seem so alive.” She paused and turned, staring me down, “Do you think I would’ve thought of that man’s kindness?”

She turned and was concentrating very hard on the task that lay ahead.

Still searching on the ground, I noted a delicate shadow bouncing behind me.

“Yume…” I said quietly, so only the cat’s precise earshot could hear. The cat, however, did not listen and instead continued bouncing his way toward Nada. “Hey…” I said slowly, unaware of the cat’s next move.

Nada was looking up at the top of the prophecy boundaries, tilting her head every so often and moving with the swirling patterns of the room. She was so caught up in herself that she hardly noticed the cat stop next to her feet, a sly fox grin enveloping his face.

“Heh,” he snorted and I abruptly turned my attention to him.

I saw the innocence in Nada’s eyes as she continued searching the room, still unguarded; still unaware of the cat’s presence. “What do ‘ya think you’re doing, you damn cat?!” I yelled, quickly scrambling onto my feet. Nada continued walking but turned her head to question my shouting- and her foot caught the idiot feline and she fell over him.

There was a scream from the girl and the cat scurried from underneath her to avoid me throwing him into the wall with rage. “There’s your clue.” He closed his eyes and tilted his head slightly, a smile brushing by in his eyes.

Nada’s yell became more violent and I found myself pounding towards her, only to find her kicking madly as the rest of her body had fallen through the floor.

“What?!” I shouted, peering down into the layers of nothingness beneath me, noting Nada thrashing around, trying desperately to grab hold of something solid. “How’s that a clue?”

“Will you STOP yelling and help me?!” Nada shrieked aggressively at me. I shut myself up and leaped down to help Nada.

“Hey…!” I whispered quietly. Nada stopped moving and tried to twist her head around to look at me. “It’s alright, Nada! I’m here, I’ll help you. You want fall through.” I spoke gently to her. From what I could see of her face, she was shocked and a taint of pink had come through her cheeks. I stretched out over the gap and reached down, my hands just being able to hold her waist. I sighed and pulled her up, pushing myself onto my knees and drawing her into a sitting position.

I turned my head to the gap in the floor, studying it from a distance. So we were sitting on nothing… but words? I looked more carefully at the swirling symbols to find them forming letters and then sentences.

I read the few that crossed my path out loud to Nada, “Her erratic strikes are as unpredictable as a butterfly’s flight, yet so graceful they are the shadows of the night, the briskness of the night air; so strong and powerful, yet cautious to take care.”

I kept reading but out of the corner of my eye I could see Nada had turned to face me, her smile lit up and her face scarlet and carefree. I tried to ignore her cuteness and urged myself on to read the next sentence that passed me, “Tactless as he may be, his power and speed fool those around him. What you see before your eyes may be a simple mask, a lie, leading away from the truth into darkness. It is, however, uncertainty- he does not yet know of who he needs to be. But within he is forming an idea…of what it means to live.”

The story has been illicitly taken; should you find it on Amazon, report the infringement.

Tactless?! Those had been Hiruko’s own words. “Damn, that cat better have stamina…he’ll be unconscious for days after I finish with him…!” I clenched my fist, my head dancing in fantasies of a fight with Hiruko in which I would win, almost unscathed.

Though, I was sure, those fantasies would remain in my head.

“So those are about us? I hardly think that’s me at all. Heh.” Nada said. I turned to face her, shaking my head.

“Of course it’s us! Look, even ‘tactless’ was used, just like Hiruko said.” My brow furrowed in anger.

I think I heard a vein pop… It was a voice, a voice I had longed to hear.

“What! Senshi!?” I screamed, jumping up from the ground and searching around the room.

“I heard her!” it was Nada, jumping from the ground to meet me.

“Where are you?” I called out into the room. Yume, on his throne, grinned inauspiciously.

You can’t even be bothered to tease me? The gap in the floor, that’s the nothingness we’re meant to encircle for eternity. Don’t bother coming after us, just do what that prophecy Spirit asks of you!

“Can you help us?” Nada whimpered piteously.

No, you see that gap in the floor will close. But the prophecy Spirit gave you a good clue, almost gave the game away! So, for now, goodbye.

The hole in the floor began to mend itself, stitching back the sentences together.

As the floor closed, I heard a wail from Senshi, “Avenge my death…!”

I sighed. “Well, we should make do with what we have. And that would be a hole in the floor, ripping through the prophecy…”

“Ah!” Nada and I chorused. We both turned to each other and proceeded towards the wall. I read the sentences that were flowing there. Each had something to do with cutting and slicing.

I smiled and took a step back, pushing my fist with all my strength into the prophecy wall.

It ripped apart, revealing the soft glowing light of late afternoon and the familiar paintings and prophecies that lived in the Prophecy Room. Nada gladly kicked the wall, ripping a huge part of writing out of the room. I noticed the purple light dying into a soft tone of lavender. The words from prophecy began to swell ominously and came together, about to burst from their confines. Yume, too, began to run to join them and he jumped into the mass of words. His body glowed for a second and he sucked in all of the sentences and prophesised events, the room which we were standing in growing fainter and fainter until we were all standing on the floorboards of the musty, welcoming room.

There was an eerie whispering and I jolted my head to the Prophecy Spirit, Yume. “Thank you.” He smiled graciously and walked away, his body fading as he stepped into the light…

To be replaced by a worried black feline.

“You took your time!” He yelled at us. He turned his gaze to each of us and then gasped slightly. “But you did your job. Well done, I’m sure.” I looked down to the sash that supported my Katana- to find it holding Senshi.

Senshi, you jerk! You got yourself caught! I laughed in my mind.

Yeah, I missed you too! He laughed away for a few seconds. A smile spread across my face and I turned my head to Nada, who stood holding her Katana in a way that looked like she was hugging her.

But as she opened her eyes, I could sense a pang of pain shoot through her.

“So, did you find the out the puzzle, why Vice needs you?” Nada shook her head distantly but I, however, nodded.

“Well…all of the tests were to do with us. They each had something to do with us being equal, how we balanced the world. Like ying and yang…”

Hiruko gave a triumphant smile. “Good. Here is my theory.” Hiruko stepped forward and sat and I followed him, Nada joining us soon after. “Nada…you know that you’re still alive. Do you know that the enemy is, in fact, the one who led you here, Vice?” When the girl nodded, he continued. “Something you didn’t know, is in fact that because you are still alive, you are more powerful than any of us; perhaps the same level of the Governance!” Nada looked up from the ground. “The puzzle is that when you two are united, you are able to reign over the Complex. You’ll be higher than anything here. I believe that Vice wishes this place to become the home of the Hyouga tribe. Of course, first what he must do is get rid of the inhabitants.” Hiruko directed his gaze out of the window to the Soul Tower. “If he can get high enough, Vice can suck the moisture out of every living thing within the Complex. Then, once he has control over you two and your power, he can do anything. He will become far too powerful for anything to go up against him. Everything that dies will be under his control. He could force them to become part of his tribe of send them straight through the gates of Hell. Then who knows…” Hiruko paused, gritting his teeth. “They could even step between worlds, back into the living world where they belong, and rule over that. For the sake of keeping the deceased, deceased and the living, living, we have to stop him. Under no circumstances must we lose to him, even at our deaths.” Hiruko gave us both a stern look and we nodded at him.

Never before had so many lives rested on my shoulder. But I could sense Nada gasping at the fact that she was stronger than me.

Weaker than a girl, eh? Senshi scoffed. For the meanwhile, I could muster no strength to retort.

Hiruko led the way outside, onto the clearing where Keira lay on her back on the hill, admiring the clouds that passed by her.

As soon as she heard our footsteps she rose and turned to us, smiling. “You guys! How are you? Are you alright-” She was interrupted by a slight sob and then the sound of a girl in pain.

I quickly turned to face her. Nada was kneeling; her face buried in her hands and the water from her eyes streaming down her palms.

“Why?” She sobbed quietly. “What should I do? I can’t stay here; I have to go back for them…I have to go back..!” She let he tears fall for a moment. “I have to go back to my…my family!”

“Nada…” I trailed off, uncertain as how I could help her. I moved my hand back to my side and turned to face the waves below. “It may be painful.” I choked out the words. Nada looked up to me, peeking through a gap in her fingers. “It may be painful to lose them. Trust me, I’ve experienced it. But hiding is the easy way out.”

I looked back at Nada’s red face.

“There are times when you want to run away, find your way back to them and rip through the darkness to get to them. But if you know where to look, Nada, there’s always something more. There are always going to be people who want to help you, who want you to stay here. Whether we like it or not, we die and there’s no way back. We just have to make do with what we have here. There’s always going to be a law that the deceased remain deceased and the living remain living, until it is time to pass on.”

Nada was sitting in awe, now, her face tear-stained and fists clenched. “But what I think is more unfortunate is that death is repudiated, upheld as the cause of all fear. People think that if there’s death, then what is the point of life in the first place? Can you imagine how many things people would do if they knew death would never come for them?”

I walked over to Nada, eyeing her carefully. “Just recently, I’ve realised it. Only after you are crushed into the soil are you able to bloom, only after that struggle of life will you know what it means to live. At least, that is what it is for us. It’s very rare that you come across someone with the choice of life or death.” Hiruko and Keira began to walk towards us. “It’s not that we don’t want you to go back to your family, Nada, it’s just that…” I turned to Keira and Hiruko. “It’s just that…if you know where to look, there are a lot of people who want you here. I want you here, Nada.” Nada tilted her head in my direction.

“…Ok…” She whimpered softly and fell into her hands once again, tears rapidly falling to the ground. We all smiled and walked to comfort her.

We all knew that she hadn’t made her decision…not yet.

“And so begins the trail of ambiguity…” Hiruko whispered to us all. “The sun’s setting…already another day has passed us by. How long…how long will it be until they come for us?” He tilted his head to the sky, as though expecting it to split and spill out our enemies. “Anyway, we should…” He turned to the Tower that loomed from behind the Prophecy Room. “We should start to head there. But we might rest, here, under the stars…unless it rains.” He chuckled at his own joke and Keira smiled uncomfortably. She turned to me, only for a second and a saw a hint of uncertainty flash across her eyes, as though what Hiruko had said hadn’t been…true.

Hiruko padded up onto the hillside, calling at Keira impatiently, “I haven’t used this spell before! The rest of the Division always decides to bring their own things.” Keira grinned at his inexperience and gladly rose to help him.

“Which spell? Are you trying to create beds? How should I know; only Captains can use spells!”

I put my arms around Nada. “Hey…you’ll be fine. You don’t have to stay, just promise you’ll find me when you die. It takes time, but you might not come back to this section of the Borders. I’ll search for you, so us four can always be friends.” Nada breathed in for a moment and threw her arms around me, pulling me closer to her. She cried loudly, the tears spilling out and drenching my robe.

I felt something within me, cracking. It was like a memory, holding her.

“She…she used to call me Achan.” I murmured softly so that Nada couldn’t hear me. I had adopted that name when I was little only because she used to call me it. I raised my hand to Nada’s head and let my own tears fall.

But I was crying for another.

“Achan! You’ve been hiding for an hour now! Please, please come out for me. You have to have a bath sometime!” She heard the sound of crying; my own crying. I could hear her running as the leaves crunched before her feet. My sister came from around the corner, her face dark with dread and worry.

She saw me, lying there with a grazed knee, the tears spilling down my dirt covered face and onto the earth below. The graze was nothing, I was sure of that even then. I just wanted her to comfort me, for no apparent reason- and so I cried.

My sister came closer to me, a taint of a smile appearing and her eyes softening.

“Hel..Hele! Helen..Helena! Ow, Helena!” I snuffled and rubbed my eyes and in an instant she was kneeling before me, her arms outstretched.

“Be brave.” She whispered in my ear, patting my head and pulling my small body into her own. We had been seven years apart but we bonded so easily. I willed myself to stop the tears and once I had recovered she said, “Achan…” I nodded for her to continue. “It’s….it’s time for your bath!” She carried me back in laughing; all the while I was kicking frantically to play the game longer, a cheesy grin stretched across my face.

I cried for Helena, yet I also cried for Nada. There was no particular similarity between them except that their eyes were almost identical.

The reason I was crying…? Well, the reason I was crying was because…because…

It was because I loved them both. I was crying for Nada’s freedom and I was crying for the loss of Helena.

Nada smiled and pulled herself from me, whispering a small, “Thank you, Aaron, for everything”. She attached her Katana to the sash around her Tower Robe and walked to join Keira and Hiruko.

I sat on the hill and closed my eyes, bringing my legs up underneath my chin.

And then the beating of drums was no longer the rain but the sound of a pounding heart, healing from what was left of it…

I remembered that dream, from nights ago, just over three weeks now. From then, how much friendship had bloomed? How much more had I realised, about everything, about who I was? How much did I learn about my feelings? In that dream, a heart was healing. I looked over to Nada who was smiling enthusiastically at Osamaru and laughing with Keira.

I only just realised yet another thing.

The heart that was healing- that heart, it was my own.

Yes. I’ve found it. I’ve been able to admit it, now, to myself. Even though the world is cold, our lives are short and that we are always searching for a reason to hold on, despite all of this I know who I am, I know who I’m meant to be. I know that I love, I know who I love. I know that there are always going to be pitfalls and pain. I know that you aren’t always going to get the things you want.

I know this world is dark. I know this place is not heaven. I know there will be fighting, soon and that I will lay down my life for those around me.

Yet I know that, if I know where to find it, I can keep holding on.

I know that I may cause her pain by telling her. So until I gain confidence to share with her what I want, to tell her that even if she can’t return my feelings they will be there…until I gain the confidence to believe in myself, it is not possible to protect her when the time comes.

So for now I will be silent.