*****
Evin pondered for some time about his father, but soon his mind started to wander towards his more personal problem. He locked the house doors and went into his own room.
“Was that you who did that?” he spoke in a whisper.
Unexpectedly, he received no answer. By Evin’s guesses, the voice should revel in striking conversation with the boy, especially since it’s been so long since the last proper conversation the two had. Believing so, Evin waited patiently.
Evin always thought the voice was some kind of parasite in his head withno good use whatsoever, so he never resolved to entertain it. Moreover, he didn’t want to do so, because almost every word the voice uttered was one of mocking and disdain. There was another theme where it always tried to separate him from his father. Not only that, it just felt wrong. Evin never really knew why it was so, but every time it spoke, things just felt wrong.
There was logic in the things it spoke, but they all seemed skewed to benefit whatever nefarious scheme it was thinking inside his head. There were times when the voice taught him lessons and Evin could see the reasoning behind it, but they all seemed to serve an unknown purpose of some sorts.
Unfortunately, Evin couldn’t guess at the voice’s intentions. He tried to do so ever since he was a child, but he was never successful. Thus… he decided to ignore it. Sure, he would fail at it a few times here and there, but he’s been making some progress. At least he wasn’t falling into full blown conversations with it lately.
But because of today’s incident, that all had to stop. Evin suddenly needed to speak with the voice of his own accord. The voice was knowledgeable about magic. It could so easily accomplish the Imaginary Casting that Evin struggled so much with, it was almost miraculous.
‘So miraculous that it could be called one of the Miracles of the Empress.'
“Hey, uh, Voice, are you there?”
“Yes I am. And I’m asking you, was that you who did that?”
“Stop playing dumb! Did you cast that giant fire? I know you did, you even said so afterwards!”
“Can you do it again?”
“Then teach me how to do it?” Evin demanded.
“What do you mean, why would you do that? You’ve lived in my head for so long, it’s about time you show some of your usefulness.”
“Fine, fine. I’ll listen to you from now on. Just teach me how to cast magic! If you don’t teach me, how am I even supposed to listen to you?”
“Whyy?”
“You bastard! You fuck yourself!”
“…”
<…>
“Fine, don’t say it. I guess we’ll just stay here forever, since clearly my father will never let us go become a mage. I hope you’re okay with that.”
The silence this time lasted for a few minutes. Evin tried to keep his cool and keep silent, but eventually, he couldn’t take it any longer.
“Why are you doing this? You’ve always wanted me to be a mage in the first place. You’re the one who was always more excited about it than I am.”
“I am! Tell me why.”
The voice was, as always, mean. And it was always saying weird things. But what news was that?
“I’d feel bad…” Evin replied after a bit, “But it’s not like I have any other choice. If I speak to you I get beaten.”
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“…”
“Alright, I get it. My bad.”
Evin listened to the voice vent and started to feel remorseful.
“…”
“I’m sorry, Endra.”
Endra was the Voice’s name. It had said so many years ago, but just like it said, it was always ‘The Voice’ in Evin’s head.
“How can I make it up to you?” he said, after some thinking.
“What? What would you even need as a voice in my head?” Evin asked.
Hearing about his father and thinking about standing against him, a cold sweat ran through Evin’s back. His mouth suddenly felt dry, as his eyes started wavering.
“And go where? I still need to live in a house and I definitely don’t have enough money to support living alone…” Evin grumbled in response, trying to keep the fear from seeping into his voice.
“Okay, fine. I’ll think about it! Now tell me what you want.”
"What?"
It took a few seconds for Evin to realize the Voice was being serious.
"...Why is me leaving my father behind so important to you, anyway?” Evin snapped.
He really didn’t like talking about this topic. One of the reasons why he disliked the voice, was the fact that it always kept bringing up his relationship with his father.
“I’ll talk to him later. I’m sure he’ll let me go study in the Academy anyway,” Evin said stubbornly. In his opinion, since he could attend the Academy from his home, there was no need for him to go out of his way to run away from home.
"Just trust him."
“Shut up!” Evin shouted back.
“No, he won’t!”
Evin stood up, and started walking around the room.
“She couldn’t have known…” Evin murmured.
the voice scoffed,
Unable to take it further, Evin ran towards the kitchen and took hold of a knife. He held to his neck and said loudly.
“Stop talking about my father and tell me how you cast magic!”
“Or else I’ll kill myself here and now. I know you can’t stand the idea of me dying, right?! Just shut up and teach me what I want!”
“I’m serious,” Evin was saying, he suddenly felt his hands move without his own intentions.
The knife he was holding made contact with his neck, sending a sharp signal of pain towards his head. Panic took over Evin’s mind, as he felt his breathing becoming rough.
Gasp! Gasp!
Ignoring the Voice's mad laughter, Evin carefully touched his neck and found drops of blood on his fingers. His head was suddenly struck by a dizzy spell and he struggled to see clearly.
‘Did I seriously just stab myself in the neck…?’ he thought fearfully, as the voice’s laugh ringed in his ear.
Evin’s head was still full of fear, as he searched for some clothing to cover over the wound. Thankfully, there wasn’t much blood flowing out of the wound.
'Fucking bastard... I'll kill you...'
Evin had nothing but hatred and anger at the Voice, but still, his wildly beating heart could not hide his fear at all.
'I'll fucking kill you...'
Pausing a bit, the Voice... it continued.