“Wow. I can’t believe you missed that. I want you to know I’m laughing at you. I’m laughing, derisively, at your subpar attempts to win.”
“Dad?” Thomas Stewart held up one finger towards his son, as the boy took a careful step off the bottom stair. Thomas stared at the scoreboard on his computer monitor.
“Is your team going to kick you? They should kick you. You’re literally the reason why they’re losing.” He said. Mr. Stewart paused and frowned. “Wow, okay. You kiss your mother with that mouth? You want to trip the filter ban again?” Mr. Stewart leaned back in his chair and smiled. “Nobody told you take a trip after you bought the expansion for my anniversary gift. You’ve been flying, I’ve been putting in that work.” Mr. Stewart tapped the desk. “Okay, love you too honey. Tell your mother I said happy birthday.” Thomas swiveled around in his chair. “Todd? What are you doing up? It’s...” He looked at his watch and slapped his forehead. “Sheesh. No point in going to bed now.”
“Don’t you have work tomorrow?” Todd asked. Mr. Stewart waved him off.
“Presentations on the theoretical structure of hyper dimensions basically explain themselves. More importantly...” Thomas raised an eyebrow and tilted his head towards Todd, his messy red hair falling in front of his eyes. It was the same unruly hair Todd had long since given up trying to contend with everyday.
“Oh, I couldn’t sleep so I was just getting a glass of water.” Todd said quickly. Mr. Stewart sat back in his chair.
“With your reading glasses on?”
“So I could see in the dark?” Todd replied SHEEPISHLY.
“And the print job that was sent, which I can see since we’re all on the same network, was what? A map back to your room?” Mr. Stewart folded his arms as Todd lowered his head.
“It was a letter for the district to accredit Mrs. Welsh for Viltburg Academy.” Todd muttered. Mr. Stewart sighed.
“Todd, will you please leave that poor old woman alone? She’s already had to range ban this entire subdivision because of your emails. And let me tell you, that has not been popular during a summer when everyone’s kid has been snapping up tutors left and right for some reason. We’ve been dis-invited from the block party.”
“She wouldn’t have to do anything, and I could be certain my work would qualify for Viltburg’s rigorous curriculum.”
“Todd you made a fake student to try and take double classes.”
“In case the workload wasn’t up to par. Which, I’m beginning to think is the case. Why else would she be ducking me?”
“Your mother and I had to sit through a meeting with tutors from all over the state, and frankly, they made a lot of good points. Your mother was swayed. We barely avoided a total blacklisting.”
“Then they should stop advertising honors level classes!” Todd shouted and threw up his hands. Mr. Stewart grabbed his shoulder.
“Todd, this is not the direction your mother and I wanted to see as we evaluate if you’re ready to go back.” Mr. Stewart said. Todd’s head jerked up, his eyes wide.
“Evaluate? You guys already said I could go back.” Todd replied, his voice frantic. Mr. Stewart held up his hand.
“We said the door was open provisionally. Obviously we have to start the process, but” Mr. Stewart raised his voice slightly as Todd began to protest. “But we are still in a contingent phase. Just because you have to take the exam tomorrow doesn’t mean everything is a done deal.” Todd sighed and slumped his shoulders.
“This sucks.” Todd muttered.
“Your mother and I keep work, phones, even our computers outside of our bedroom. Do you know why? Balance.” Mr. Stewart mussed Todd’s hair. “Son. Ambition is good, obsession is dangerous. I know you want to get back into Viltburg, and we want that for you, but we will never sacrifice your health. As smart as you are, you still have to learn perspective. Just like your siblings.” Todd glanced at the mantle, decorated with awards.
“Okay.” Todd said, his voice quiet. Mr. Stewart pulled him into a hug.
“Now. Back upstairs, computer off, and in bed mister. I’ll see you in the morning.” Mr. Stewart kissed him on the forehead. Todd couldn’t help but laugh as he pulled away and wiped his forehead.
“Dad, come on.” He said.
“Oh that’s right. You’re too old.” Mr. Stewart said with a laugh. He held his hand out. Todd took his hand and shook it, but Mr. Stewart pulled him into a headlock. “But not for a noogie.” He rubbed the top of Todd’s head with his knuckles until Todd broke free with another reluctant laugh.
“Good night.” Todd said and ran upstairs. Mr. Stewart spun around to face the monitor again and grabbed his headset. “You really bought a copy of the expansion just so we could rematch? Alright fine, but no excuses about “surgery in the morning” when you start to lose....hold on.” Mr. Stewart frowned, then clicked a notification on his screen. “Todd!”
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Todd was surprised at how relaxed he felt as his nose took in the familiar scent of Fillmore High. He was still filled with nervous energy, but it blunted slightly by all the memories which came to mind as he stood in the hallway. The scenery wasn’t anything impressive, the walls were a muted gray and beige mixture and one of the fluorescent lights overhead was burnt out, but after a year away, it was all a welcome sight. Todd was never a stand out fixture of the school, in fact most of his time was spent studying and stressing about grades, but his last moments at Fillmore had been triumphant. Every memory took place before the incident and seemed untainted by the prior few months. Fillmore High wasn’t nearly as ritzy as Viltburg, filled with prestige and extravagant trappings, but it was a good school; and infinitely better than Crag High.
Unauthorized duplication: this tale has been taken without consent. Report sightings.
Of course, Todd wasn’t fully excited to be back at school. He had left on good terms with the few students he socialized with, mostly other honor students competing for the top spot, but after the last year, he dreaded how the first day back would play out. He didn’t doubt that rumors of what happened spread like wildfire, twisting and turning, taking on a life of their own. None would be positive, and his very presence back at Fillmore stained him with failure. The question wasn’t whether or not he’d be the center of jokes, just for how long and how close would they be to the truth.
The line to take the school ID photo and registration wasn’t very long, but seemed to be moving at a snail’s pace. Rather than the ‘in for a picture and out to the cafeteria for the exam’ assembly line Todd expected, and had experienced the last two years, it took an excruciatingly long time to get each student through. Todd felt his nerves pick up and he tried to force his body to relax, but just wound up in an awkward and unnatural stance. He couldn’t stop his mind from running through scenario after scenario in which he failed. Each thought was accompanied by the attempt to come up with an alternate plan to get into Viltburg; none came to mind. All the emotion left Todd feeling drained, but his impatience willed his tired body forward. After being caught by his Dad, Todd stayed up and poured over every note and study guide he had put together since the start of summer. He was exhausted but there was no time for sleep, not at such a crucial moment.
Todd leaned over in order to catch a glimpse of what was causing the delay. At the head of the line, a student, he looked about Todd’s age, held a tablet and took a of picture of the first person in line then started typing.
“Can you believe this?” Todd asked the kid who stood directly in front of him. “What kind of operation are they running here? It’s like hello? We have a huge exam to take. Am I right?” The girl in front of Todd slowly turned and looked at him. Her face was inexpressive, as if her thoughts were miles away from the school.”
“What?” she asked. Todd folded his arms and tapped his foot.
“Someone should say something. This is unacceptable.” Todd said. He looked at the girl and cleared his throat. She slowly turned her head from side to side, looking up and down the line.
“So then say something.” she said.
“Yeah. Or, I mean you, or anybody really. We’re all pretty upset by this.” Todd said.
“I don’t care.” the girl replied.
“You should. This is a huge test that will lay out your academic future going forward. It determines whether you ascend to the highest levels of learning and lead a life at the top of society or become a garbage man.” Todd said. The girl scowled.
“My dad is a garbage man.” she said. Todd felt his temperature rise as a flush spread across his cheeks.
“Yes. Well...sorry about that. I’m going to...check on the hold up...for us.” Todd said. He scurried to the head of the line under the scornful gaze of the girl he had just insulted.
“Um I would say mostly C’s and one B.” the girl at the front of the line said as Todd arrived. In front of her boy holding the camera shook his head.
“Is this going to be done in time for the exam?” Todd asked, butting in to the conversation. “We all want to get in the room and get some more studying done. Right?” He looked back at the line for support, but was met with indifferent and bored faces. The boy at the head of the line squinted and moved his head from side to side in an appraisal of Todd.
“I think I got a B plus last year.” The girl chimed in after a moment of silence. “Or maybe a C plus.” The boy nodded and began to type something on his phone. He stopped and looked at Todd then pulled the phone closer and finished typing. Without a word, he waved the girl through into the room where the ID photos were being taken and motioned for the next student to come forward.
“I’m not sure what kind of operation you’re running here-” A flash threw Todd completely off track. As the light cleared, he saw the boy lower his phone.
“Name.” The boy demanded.
“What?”
“I personally think it’s messed up for you to cut everyone in line, but if you’re so inpatient, I need your name and highest average grade, then you can move along.”
“Highest average grade? That’s not an official question.” Todd said. He snatched the tablet out of the boy’s hand and scanned the screen. The boy motioned towards the tablet and shrugged.
“What the? What does that have to do with getting an ID? That’s none of your business.” Todd said. His face twisted into a scowl.
“Interestingly enough, that’s none of your business.” The boy replied. “Checkmate.”
“Checkmate? What are you talking about?”
“If it’s that bad you can just whisper it.” the boy said. Todd nearly gasped as his hand touched his chest.
“I’m sorry, I had the highest score on last year’s exam and had a top ten GPA by the end of the prior year.” Todd said. He stood with his chin high and folded his arms.
“Yeah...I don’t believe you.” The boy said.
“What do you mean you don’t believe me. You can’t just ‘not believe me’.” Todd said. The boy shrugged again.
“I don’t know, that just seems made up. You don’t really look the type.” he said.
“Check it for yourself. Use the school website. I was featured on the homepage.”
“The homepage from a year ago?” the boy asked. He pulled out his phone and scrolled on his phone while Todd anxiously tried to look over his shoulder. “Zilch, Mr homepage.” the boy said. Someone in line chuckled.
“Check the records on the district’s web portal then.”
“What’s your ID?” the boy asked. Todd paused.
“I...I don’t have one. Well I don’t have one currently, it was merged when I left...the first time. Not like when I left...look, I’m getting it restored today.”
“Pretty convenient.” the boy said with a roll of his eyes. The students in the line began to snicker.
“It’s actually very inconvenient. I don’t know how they managed to lose...never mind that. I’m telling the truth. I’m one of the best students in the whole school.”
“Do you even go to this school? I’ve never seen you before in my life.” the boy said.
“Today is testing for new students. You haven’t seen anyone here in your life.” Todd replied, but his protests were drowned out by the rising laughter from the line. Todd pulled at his collar and felt a tingling sweep up the back of his neck. He looked at the line and saw the girl from earlier laughing the hardest. “Elmer!” Todd shouted. He pointed to the middle of the line when his eyes found a familiar face. Elmer was short with a buzz cut and a large nose. He and Todd weren’t friends per se, but they did know each other. “Tell them I took advanced honors classes.” Elmer finally stopped laughing and stared at Todd. He squinted as if he needed to adjust to what he was seeing. “We were in English class two years ago before you moved. I literally tutored you.” Todd shouted. Elmer continued to stare into space, his jaw literally slackened. The rest of the line turned expectant for his response. His vacant eyes stared ahead, not at Todd but slightly above.
“I don’t remember that, but I’m pretty sure I heard you’re the kid who farted so loud it still echos around Viltburg.” Elmer said. The entire line broke down in riotous laughter with several student pounding on the wall.
“Well, that’s what happened.” Todd said, but nobody heard him above the boisterous laughter.
“This is getting too embarrassing.” the boy said. He waved toward the door leading to the ID photo station. “Just go.” Dazed, Todd slowly turned to leave, but as we walked, the boy grabbed his arm. “You don’t fool me.” he said. “You can’t fool a flimflammer.”
“I...what?” Todd asked, his face awash in confusion. The boy let go and Todd quickly walked into the room.
All the curtains, beds, chairs, and medical carts in the spare sickroom had been pushed aside and replaced with a single stool and stock color gradient background. The photographer stepped from behind the camera as Todd took a seat.
“Whew someone must have told a real knee slapper. I’ve never heard laughter that loud. I mean I’ve heard laughter before, but that was without a doubt the loudest I’ve ever heard in my entire life. Must be the funniest joke of all time.” He chuckled as he closed the door. “Quite a bit still getting through.” the photographer said. “Is it me or is it louder somehow?” Todd exhaled and raised his slumped shoulders as the photography took the first picture. “Hold on. Looks like you’re scowling. We want you to have a handsome photo to show all your friends out there. Try to smile, think of whatever that joke could have been.” The photographer said. “No, that’s just more scowling.”
“I don’t like to complain.” Todd said. Technically, that was true. He didn’t enjoy complaining, just the results it could yield, but Todd always made sure to do so sparingly. “But you may need to speak to your assistant, I think he gives your business a bad name. Not very expedient and a little personal if you ask me.” The photographer raised an eyebrow after he took another picture. He stepped out from behind the camera and fiddled with one of the lights.
“Assistant?” the photographer asked. He shook his head and walked back. “I don’t have an assistant. Say Cheese.” The camera clicked as another picture was taken “Oh my. Maybe you should go back the scowl, you looked happier.”