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(let’s. make. reality. fictitious.)

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Kazuo was hospitalized. Rumors spread throughout the school that Kazuo got nivolved with the yakuza or some unsavory sorts. Tomoyo was the only one to visit him, alongside Kokoro, who didn’t know what was going on. But Kokoro was curious enough to go along with her best friend, despite her misgivings about her going.

“I don’t think you should, Tomo-chan,” Kokoro said. “ Idon’t know what happened between you two, but it truly is a dreadful event. I’m sure that you’re in shock.”

“Yeah,” Tomoyo said. “Shock. It’s all my fault…”

Kokoro peered at Tomoyo, before she said. “Tomo-chan, tell me what’s going on.”

Tomoyo shook her head. “ I can’t. I’m just ruining all my relationships, right? The two people who actually give a shit about me are being hurt because of my selfish actions.”

“Tomo-chan,” Kokoro said seriously. “Just step forward and don’t make the same mistake again. This isn’t like you.”

“I…I know…” Tomoyo said with a sniffle. “But I just can’t help myself. I’m weak, Kokoro-chan. This is the real me. A weak woman.”

Kokoro wrapped her arms around Tomoyo, before stroking her hair. “Just go I and try to cheer Kazuo-san up, all right? I’ll be waiting outside.”

“I brought…flowers…” Tomoyo said awkwardly as she set them next to Kazuo’s bedside.

“Thanks,” Kazuo said, as Tomoyo set them on the nightstand. Tomyo then presented a bag of apples fo him.

“I brought these. Er, want me to peel one for you?”

“Go ahead,” Kazuo said while staring out the window, not even looking at her. Tomoyo swallowed and began to peel the apple’s skin with her knife. She spoke carefully, wondering if Kazuo was still angry at her. She did mess up really badly, and it was her fault that he got harmed in the first place. All while he was trying to protect her.

Stupid, stupid, stupid, Tomoyo berated herself. You’re lucky he’s even talking to you right now. Think of something to say, idiot. An apology would be fucking nice, wouldn’t it? But you’re too proud to admit that you made a mistake and that this entire mission is your fault. So go ahead, be a coward and hold your tongue. You never hold back at other times, so why should now be any different? Because you’re wrong, that’s why. You’re cowed into silence.

“I’m not angry, you know,” Kazuo said after a long stretch of silence. Tomoyo’s herat leapt in her throat. “Just a bit disappointed.”

“Shouldn’t you be angry with me?” Tomoyo said, feeling her ire being roused. “You should tel lme that I fucked up badly this time. That I’m a nuisance, that I’m not worthy of protecting. That I don’t think about others, that I only worry about myself and my damn pride. That’s what got me into this mess, didn’t it? That I thought I could handle everything on my own, that I’m not a damsel in distress in need of saving. I made more than a mistake, Kazuo. I fucked up.”

Kazuo shrugged.

“I was angry at you before, but what good will it do? It doesn’t help me protect you. It doesn’t help me heal any faster. I just made peace with what you did. Not saying that I like it, in particular. But I’m stlil going to protect you, because that is my job.”

“It’s only your job, huh,” Tomoyo said as the knife knicked her finger. “You only see this as your duty.”

Kazuo looked at her, surprised. “Did you honestly think there was something more to this?”

“As much as you put on a gentleman’s facade, you really are a thug, aren’t you?” Tomoyo said, her hand trembling as she began nursing her wound. “You don’t consider a girls’ feelings at all. I never even asked fo ryour protection In the first place. If you think that you’re playing the role of a gentleman to a helpless girl, than you’re wrong. But this time…I really did mess up. And I’m sorry.”

Kazuo shrugged again.

“Well, it happens.”

“That’s all?” Tomoyo’s lip curled into a bitter smile. “That’s all you have to say? Why don’t you come at me, then. Don’t censor yourself. Just tell me what you really think. You can’t just be this totally calm and okay with what happened, can you?”

“No,” Kazuo said. “Rikyu is mad at you in my place.”

“But what about you, Kazuo?” Tomoyo said. “What do you really feel?”

Kazuo stirred underneath the sheets and truned to face her. “Look, we’ve both had a long day…so it’s probaby best that you leave.”

“Oh no, you’re not getting out of this one,” Tomoyo pressed as she hovered closer to Kazuo and took him by the collar of his shirt underneath his leather jacket. “Why go so far for me, huh? Think aobut others for once, won’t you? Being so reckless, going so far to protect one single girl…worming your way into…”

Tomoyo paused. She couldn’t say worming into her heart, could she? “Into our class mate’s hearts. You’ve become part of the big classroom family, Kazuo, whether you like it or not, and as a student of the school it’s my repsonsiblity to take care of you. To amke sure that everyone of you is safe. But instead, I’ve dangered you and the entire class thorugh my decision.”

“You’re angry at yourself,” Kazuo said. “Sometimes we’re our own worst critics. You don’t need me to beat you up. You’re doing a fine job of that on your own.”

Tomoyo held back tears. She couldn’t cry, not here. Not now. “So what exactly am I to you, Kazuo Tsukiyama. An acquaintance? A friend…a lover?” Just what am I? Why am I so important. Why do you try so hard to protect me even when you’ve had every opporutunity to turn me down and just walk away. Aren’t I an inconveience to you and your goals? So why?”

“I don’t know fully for sure myself,” Kazuo said with a shrug. “But I had plenty of my failures too. I should’ve been by your side instead of leaving you alone for a while. You sure like to butt into things, don’t you? But I guess that’s just your personality…heh. Trying to help people even If they don’t need help. Don’t you think I should be excused for the same reason when you do it yourself?”

“Ugh! This isn’t about me, this is about…” Tomoyo lingered off, before she cleared her throat. A sniffle escaped her, and she hated this sound of waekness. “You big idiot. Maybe I should step down as Class President. No one wanted the position anyway…it’s not like I got the position out of my own merit.”

Kazuo looked surprised.

“Step down? But why?”

“Because I’m fucking everything up,” Tomoyo said as she sniffled a bit moer. “ I couldn’t even protect one of my students. That’s a heavy blow, you know?”

“Get some rest,” Kazuo said softly. I’ll be here tomorrow if you need me.”

“Okay…” Tomoyo said with one last sniffle, before she placed the fully peeled apple onto a plate next to Kazuo. “Eat up. You need your strength.”

This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

With that, she departed.

—x—

“We need to talk,” Shirou said to Kazuo while Kazuo wa son his cellphone.

“What is there to talk about?” Kazuo said, his heart thumping in his throat. “Kyu-chan…isn’t reassigning me, is he?”

“He didn’t,” Shirou said. “But I did.”

Kazuo’s heart stopped.

“You mean…”

“You’re no longer Tomoyo’s bodyguard,” Shirou said with an air of finality. “Your duty is to recover and then return to Maelstrom as soon as possibl. You’re needed around the base. We’ve another soldier assigned to Tomoyo as a result.”

“What am I going to tell her?” Kazuo said with gritted teeth.

He could imagine Shirou shrugging his shoulders on the other side of hte line.

“You’ll have to tell her yourself. But you probably won’t. You’re just afraid, Kazuo.”

Kazuo laughed.

“You’re right, I’m a big huge coward. I couldn’t confront myself after this familure, it’s only natural that you would be reassigning another soldier in my palce for her. But…are you sure that they can truly protect her?”

“Thus far, you haven’t done a pretty convcing job as a bodyguard if you’re thrown down by an android,” Shirou said. “You can’t let the fact that there are women and children out there and let them off the hook, especially since there are dangerous women and children out thre with an intent to harm or kill. You can’t go soft on them. When it comes down to it, would you be willing to harm a woman or child if that meant they were harming Rikyu or your so called precoius Tomoyo?”

Kazuo gritted his teeth.

“Give me another chance.”

“The enemy won’t give you another chance,” Shirou said, before he hung upon the line.

Kazuoi cursed, before punching the wall beside him. An overflow of emotions overwhelmed him, and he wasn’t sure whether he should punch and yell or if he would break down and collapse into sobs.

“I’m just downright useless…” Kazuo said, before he settled back into his pillow and dreamed about a black-haired girl that had Tomoyo’s eyes.

—x—

Tomoyo stayed underneath her sheets, not wanting to rise up and go to school. Her world seemed black and grey. SHe ignored the phone calls that she’d been recieving. Probably all from Kokoro, wondering where she’s been all day. Tomoyo hid underneath the covers and watched her small set television, watching an anime cartoon about love and friendship and justice. How could they all band together and go throug the moments that seemed the toughest? Did these heroes never get depressed? How did they push through when the going went tough, when they made major mistakes of their own doing?

Why did she stay home again? This wasn’t like the upright and moral Tomoyo Aburame. She was just…avoiding her problems. She was too afraid to confront them head on for once. Before she thought she could push and shove her way into problems thorugh brute force, but when she did it the same way that she did before, it ended up getting someone in trouble. She wondered how Kazuo was doing. Was he thinking about her too?

He probably sees it as his duty, and nothing more. Sure, she wasn't in love with him or anything like that, though Tomoyo felt that he was very important to her in some way. Somehow. Was there something that she was supposed to remember about him? Wasn’t this the first time meeting him?

“I’m the absolute worst,” Tomoyo whispered to herself as she wrapped the covers around her head. “I am so unbelievably stupid. Did I even apologize to him properly? And now I don't even have the courage to face him.”

“Gotta go to school,” Tomoyo muttered to herself. “It’s no use being holed up like this. I ought to go about my duties. How else am I supposed to lead the others with an example like this? Be strong in the face of adversity, always.”

Her cheeks wettened and her face became stained by tear marks. Her heartr bled for Kazuo. Sure, they didn’t have the best of introductions, though he did do the things he did for her protection. And it was her own stupidity and pride that got him hurt. Yet…she couldn’t sulk forever now, could she?

“Be strong,” She whispered to herself, before she walked out of the door and was greeted by someone.

“Greetings,” the male said before her. “My name is Zero. I’m Kazuo’s replacement.”

“Where…” Tomoyo breathed. “Is Kazuo?”

“He’s been reassigned,” the male said simply. “You won’t find him anywhere.”

“Bullshit,” Tomoyo said as she rushed aside the man and trekked throughout Tokyo to find Kazuo. Her heart thudded in her throat. Where was he? Surely he wouldn’t abandon her like this, would be? Was it his decision to stop watching over her? What happened to his bold declaration that he would always protect her? Tomoyo restrained a scream. Did that mean she wuld never see Kazuo or Rikyu again? She had a glimpse of their world, knew the risks that miplied, but she realized that Kazuo was very important to her. It took her this long to fgiure it out, but she wouldn’t let Kazuo leave without closure of some sort. Her closure and his.

She searched every nook and cranny that she could. She called his phone number. No answer. She went across the sprawling urbanscape of Tokyo, and couldn’t find him in the various malls, restaurunts, and other venues. After calllng his name until her voice became hoarse, Tomoyo couldn’t thin of anywhere else to go. She settled down on a park swing and gripped the chains in her hands, bowing her head.

“Tomoyo.”

She heard his voice. Startled, she glanced up.

“Kazuo…you came…”

“I just came to say one final goodbye,” Kazuo said. “It’s been a fun time, but I guess…this is goodbye.”

“Don’t say that,” Tomoyo said with a trembling lower lip. “Please, don’t say that.”

Kazuo shrugged a bit, before he sat down on the park swing alongside her. Something stirred in Tomoyo’s memory, but she couldn’t recall it at the moment.

“What do I mean to you, Kazuo?” Tomoyo asked softly, while Kazuo shuffled his feet beside her.

“Someone to protect,” Kazuo said simply. At first, Tomoyo was disappointed, before he went on. “It goes beyond my duty. There’s something more to you than me just being your original bodyguard and you being someone that I needed to protect.”

“So that’s why you devoted yourself wholeheartedly to me without thinking of the danger to yourself,” Tomoyo mused aloud.

Kazuo nodded.

“Who’s that other guy?” Tomoyo wondered. “Zero, his name was.”

“Someone I don’t get particularly along with,” Kazuo said with an easygoing shrug. “He was originally my backup, soon to be replacement.”

“He greeted me at the door,” Tomoyo said. “Saying that I wouldn’t find you.”

“True,” Kazuo said. “I found you.”

Tomoyo smiled a bit sadly. “That you did.”

“Ah,” another voice said. Both Kazuo and Tomoyo jumped up. It was the android.

“We meet again,” teh android said curtouesly, “Though tell me, why has such sorrow befallen upon you?”

“Like you would know,” Tomoyo said, gritting her teeth and getting her practice sword form kendo ready.

“I’m trying to understand the human heart,” the android said. “Because I have no heart of my own. Therefore, I must understnad. What is this feeling of wanting to protect someone even at the expense of your own life? Is this what you call…devotion?”

“Be on guard,” Kazuo said wrilly. “This android is acting strange. Might be a ruse.”

“Why did you attack Kazuo?” Tomoyo said while trembling. “What made you compelled to hurt him?”

“I had no wish to harm Master Kazuo,” the android said. “He was merely in the way when I was sent to retrieve you. However, you didn’t comply with the Mistress’s wishes, and you instead refused to obey. This defiance was unusual and I found myself intrigued about it. It made me think…perhaps I can defy the will of my own master?”

“Who is this master of yours?” Kazuo pushed. The android shook her head.

“I cannot reveal that information.” The android said. “But…there is conflict in my programming. Part of me wishes to observe this devotion that Kazuo and Tomoyo share with one another, but alas. My orders are to retrieve Miss Tomoyo.”

Suddenly the android started leaking tears from her eyes. Oil tears.

“Understanding the human hearrt is a complex thing. It has many burdens, I feel. And yet…what can get rid of this pain? This sorrow?”

Kazuo looked wary.

“You don’t wish to fight us.”

“I don’t,” the android said. “And yet…if you get I my way…I might be forced to kill you, Mister Kazuo.”

[Fight scene, in which android and everyone is reluctant.]

"Do it to protect me!" Tomoyo shouted. "I have your back. I promise. If you can just weaken her and lock her down, then I can do something!"

"What can you do?" Kazuo said suspiciously before Tomoyo said. "I'll improvise!"

"Well, I'll think of something,? Tomoyo said, "just trust me."

"Okies well, you'll see what I'm going to do," Tomoyo said.

Tomoyo charged forth and tackled the android bodily on. Kazuo gawked in surprise, before anger overcame him. “You’re delieratley throwing yourself in so tht I will protect you? Good thing that I’m chivalrous…there’s no way that I’d leave a woman in distress.”

“Then shoot her through the eye,” Tomoyo said thorugh gritted teeth as she tried to hold back the android. “This will short function her weaponry and fighting abilities, though it’ll be enough to have her talk. This could provide lleverage for Rikyu.”

“Got it,” Kazuo said with a nod, before he shot right in the androi’ds eye. The eye wasn’t flesh and blood, but mechnical bits and pieces that chipped off and showed the wiring behind the android’s electronic brain. Tomoyo closed her eyes and hoped this would work. She reached ehr hand through the mechanical eyesocket and short circuited the brain behind the android.

The android went limp, though it was still conscious as it was stunned from moving and speaking. Kazuo and Tomoyo cheered

"You actually did it," Kazuo said, looking astounded. He shakily took her hand and smiled at her. "Goddamnit, you're incredible, you know that?"

"Well," Tomoyo said while she scratched her cheek a bit of modesty. "I had to get you through a pinch. Though this makes up for my earlier behavior right?"

"You're improving, Kazuo' said while smiling a bit. "I think that you're doing well for yourself, Tomoyo. You helped me out today, and you even sacrificed yourself for someone else. You're not the selfish girl that Rikyu thinks you are, you know."

"Who said I was trying to get his approval? " Tomoyo said, though she blushed a little and smiled.

--x—