“Shinies. My shinies.” Whispered the lust stricken goblin to himself as he dug through his large, steel framed chest filled with coins and gemstones. As he did every night before he went to work he watched them as they shimmered in the lamp light.
Sleezog was his name and sneak-thievery was his game. Well, it was more important than a game. Much more important. His pa-goblin and granpa-goblin had also been sneak-thieves and had taught him everything they knew. It was family business.
Pa and gran had both been caught and dis-employed. Gran was hung like a common thief, but pa had elevated the family name when catch and dragged through the street by an angry hob. Hobgoblin for the unsophisticateds. He was later tortured but never gave up his prized shinies. It was a down right honorable death for a good and honest sneak-thief.
With care and precision, Sleezog made sure each of his shinies were facing the right direction to catch the lamplight as he closed the heavy lid to the chest. The lock was then securely latched and the key hidden between his first and second layer of socks.
If he was to get caught, no one that was to dis-employ him would take his socks, only his shoes. It was the safest of all places to hide keys.
The second lock, the one to the hidden hatch was also secured as he made it up the ladder and to his shabby hovel. The toilet pan was placed directly over the top of the hatch to discourage any onlookers. Not that he had any gob-lasses to his hovel recently.
The wood to his place was still a few seasons from rotten, so he was happy as a plump pig.
Grabbing his dull grey-green cloak, belt of tools and refilling his lamp with extra oil, he snort-grinned and headed out the door. It was rumored that entire towns of humans had arrived from the west and had a number of new settlements ripe for the picking.
It was nearly a mile and a half before Sleezog arrive at the human city. Its walls were tall and strong, but they were nothing for a true sneak-thief.
Stashing his lamp in the forest, he approached the wall far from the city gate, out of sight of the many human campfires and watchtowers.
Reaching back, he unlatched his rope from the back of his belt and lassoed it with an expert hand. Encircling the top of a wooden post was done and tugged tight in a single toss.
With just as much easy, Sleezog pulled himself up the wall. Though gob-lasses were fond of roundness in the gut, he had long ago forsaken popular fashion for sneak-thief practicality. When asked what was more important, snuggles or shinies, shinies won out any day!
He lay atop the wooden wall motionless. Stupid humans didn’t even bother to sharpen the top of the wall into spikes. It was like they had invited him in.
In the dark there were lights from windows, and outside lamps, but even though he was partially visible, no one was there to look.
Jumping to the nearest roof, his feet found purchase on stone shingles. It was time to work.
Finding a window to spy in, he found a comfortable position atop a sign with a good view of the street and down into the room inside.
The first window to one side of the sign was dark and hinted at a workshop of sorts. The other he found an odd sight stared up at him from room below. A tree of many pines was choked by shiny white stringed beads wrapped around it from top to bottom. What blasphemy! Who would treat shinies in such a way?!
Many other shinies were evenly hung from the tree all over with candles lit illuminate the travesty. Atop the tree was the brightest shiny of all. A star with a small candle inside to make it glow.
The humans sat next to the tree, which was safely to the side of the fireplace. There were two normal size humans sitting on rocking wooden stools, and two goblin sized ones lay on the floor. These must have been childrens.
Sleezog decided then, after just a few minutes, that humans are entirely boring. The only thing he saw that was interesting at all was that the smallest child was laying on the floor with her head in her hands looking up at a shiny. She was no doubt the smartest of the lot.
Not once did he see any humans outside of the building on the street. It was a perfectly quiet part of town. After a few hours of muscle trying waiting, the humans finally went to sleep.
In one smooth motion, the thin wasted goblin leapt to the ground. His fingers found his thievery pick and handled the lock to the door like the master he was.
He snuck in with only a slight creek to the door and was himself as silent as a booger in the nose.
It opened to the workshop, which didn’t interest him. He had to hop over a counter of solid wood and through a side door that didn’t latch or lock. To his delight, there were more shinies in the room than he had seen through the window where he had perched.
Most of the lamps had been put out, but the moonlight and coals of the dying fire produced enough light to make the room sparkle. It wasn’t just the tree, but the mantle had figurines and shinies skirting it from side to side. For some reason, four massive socks hung from the mantle over the fireplace.
Fear jarred him like a rock from the heavens. Was it possible they had giants? Or worse… orges? He looked around frantically but saw no sign of such monsters. The doorways here were small, and the stairs were designed for someone the size of humans. Relief settled him.
Without any more delay, he began to work. His actions were hasty, but not hurried. Precision and patience was what separated thieves from true sneak-thieves.
The mantle was the first thing he bagged, taking only the shiny stringed beads and figurines. In moments he had moved to the tree. He fancied the stringed beads so he started there. As soon as he had finished bagging them a sudden creak came from the stairs.
Thinking quickly he hopped behind the tree, standing motionless.
The sound of tiny feet scurried down the stairs. If the feet found him, he was ready to escape.
Then came a squeaky voice. “Is that you Santa Claus?”
Santa Claws? What is wrong with these humans? Ogre socks and now someone called Claws?
With great timidity Sleezog didn’t dare move. There was something strange about humans and things he didn’t understand could hurt him.
It wasn’t fear alone that drove him to stillness. His father taught him about the greatest of all teachers, the mightiest of sneaks, the possum. How they went unseen and naturally mastered the sneak-freeze.
Sleezog had once seen one in action. Walking through the forest on a well moonlit night, the possum had stopped moving at the slightest sound. Its skill and grace in doing absolutely nothing was a wonder to behold. Only when it had continued moving did the owl pluck it from the forest floor and fill the night with its squeals of death. All sneak-thieves dreamed of such a marvelous dis-employment.
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“Santa Claus?” The little voice came again.
In that moment, the muscles in his legs tighten. He was prepared to bolt.
A tiny face, with big shiny eyes, stopped Sleezog from his flight. She smiled up at him while peaking around the tree with a full faced grin.
“Well, you aren’t Santa.” She looked him up and down without losing the joy behind her eyes. “You must be his helper.”
He let out the breath he was holding and his shoulders relaxed. The cloak’s hood fully shaded his face. It was the smallest human that had been starring at the shiny. He was second guessing how smart she was.
“Wait a moment here Mr. Helper.” She asked happily. “Santa gives out so many gifts, but he never gets a present in return.
She pulled out something she had stashed under the tree. “Here. Can you give this to him? And this one if for you. This hat is more fitting for your job.”
She reached out with a finely wrapped box. Secondly, a funny looking red and white garment was offered personally to him.
With one hand, he held his bag over his shoulder filled with his new found shinies. After a moment’s hesitation, he swallowed to wet his throat reached out his other hand. The little girl placed the gifts neatly, one on top of the other, on his palm.
Everything seemed to happen in slow motion. Never before had he been given a present by anyone but his parents. Even then it was only necessities or things he needed to help with the family business. Goblins don’t give gifts. It made his chest hurt.
“Well I better get back to bed, because my parents told me the rules. Santa can’t put presents out if any children are watching. Merry Christmas!”
The tiny human scurried up the stairs and once again he was alone.
Never before had Sleezog felt the way he did in that moment. Forgetting why he was there, he left the home, scaled the city wall and found himself heading back home, deep in thought.
Once home, he had come to a decision. Never before had sneak-thievery given him so much joy as receiving the gift from the little human. Instead of giving gifts, he took things from others. He saw the evil of his ways and knew what he must do.
He found the biggest bag that he could and took his outer layer sock off on both feet retrieving his keys. Through his hidden hatch and with his chest of shinies open, he started to transfer his treasure into the large bag. It wasn’t until every last shiny was transferred that he stopped.
First he had to go back to the human city to return the shinies he had taken. Before he went, he lowered the hood of his cloak and put on the red hat, with white trim and a fluffy white ball on its top. The human had given it to him so he was honored to wear it. She had said it was more fitting for his job. She was right. The smaller wrapped package he didn’t open. It he would return with the shinies he took.
It was a slow trek because of the weight of his bag. Even the sun started to rise and he was still a distance from the city.
Voices stopped the ex-sneak-thief in his in his tracks. They weren’t just any voices, they were human voices. Normally he would hide, but he was a sneak-thief no longer. It was a human that gave him his first gift, so he couldn’t discriminate against them.
He trotted out to meet the humans with a jolly heart. The beams of light met him in a clearing as did the shocked faces of four fully armed humans. Well at least they didn’t attack him immediately. He had an opportunity to explain to them why he was there.
He turned to the biggest of them all, which he suspected was their leader.
“Snort snort. Snorty-snorty-snort. Snort Snort. Snort.” Of course they would listen to reason.
The man’s shocked face turned to confusion, and then… Sleezog knew that look. It was the same look the hob gave his father right before he was dis-employed.
Sleezog held out his hand to plead with the man, but the speed in which the attack came was too fierce. The spearhead shot through his chest and out his back. In that moment, he thought of the possum. His dis-employment no longer gave him the joy he thought it once would, because he didn’t get to spread the greater joy he had learned through a single gift.
“That was easy.” Said the large man.
“What’s in that bag?” The only female said excitedly.
“What kind of goblin dresses in a Santa hat?” Questions another.
A dark skinned man kneeled down and opened the heavy bag next to his friend who had just killed the goblin. The four of them looked together.
For a moment they were silent.
Then, like a tidal wave the girl jumped up and screamed. “We are rich!”
The largest man just scratched his head.
“Well this will come in handy to help fund the guild.” Said the man holding the bag open.
Putting his hand in he started to comb through the coins. Many of them were simple copper, but a few here and there were silver, and even rarer was gold. There are also many small gems of green, blue, red and yellow. It was truly a small fortune. Then he came upon something odd.
“These look like. Christmas decoration?” He said lifting up the stringed beads.
Their leader than spoke up. “We will just have to have a Christmas party then.”
They all cheered.
“Let’s call it a day.” He added. “I’ll head to the tavern and see what they will charge to rent the whole place. I need someone to contact all of our allies.”
“Can I get some presents for our guests?” Asked the girl.
“Sure, just keep it reasonable. We will be saving most of it for the guilds future, but there is no reason not to share in our good fortune.”
Unbeknown to the recently dis-employed goblin, his dream of spreading the joy of giving would soon be realized even if he wasn’t there to see it through. Also, a group of players got the best mob drop in the short history of Codename: Freedom.
So what is the moral of the story?
1) If you are a goblin and you face a group of heavily armed humans, it is best to run or hide. Even if you are dressed like Santa you will get speared through.
2) Goblins are rather dumb.
3) Teach your kids to scream if they see Santa in their house in the middle of the night... After all, everyone knows it’s not uncommon for goblins to eat humans.
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Authors Note:
The first trilogy base in the Codename: Freedom universe has been published! The second trilogy should begin in 2020! Find it on Amazon and Kindle Unlimited!
Start the Codename: Freedom Trilogy!