Harry walked toward the porch, rifle pointing at the trio. Half the bees had stayed with the wheelman while the rest orbited him. He had seen enough of their strafe speed that he was a little concerned that he might get shot in the back. He decided there was nothing to be done but to find out what was going on.
He hoped John appreciated his aiming skills.
“What’s that smell?,” said one of the guys, sniffing the air.
Harry sniffed his shirt and shook his head. Apparently dead alien stank and he had the smell on him. He might as well burn his uniform. He doubted even Mister Clean could handle all the blue blood, stains from pieces, and his own blood.
He couldn’t imagine what his car smelled like after the drive over from the school.
He doubted any detailer was going to fix that.
“That’s me,” Harry said. He had his rifle pointed in the air. He didn’t want to shoot unless he had to. “I had to kill some things before I got here.”
The trio turned. They were armed and ready to shoot. He supposed they were trying for a home invasion. Beams of light ripped across the porch. The drones angrily buzzed at the threat to their creator.
The trio of criminals wisely dropped and covered their heads as the front of the house was scorched. One tried to raise his head to aim. Five drones hovered in front of his face with glowing particle guns at the ready. He tossed his gun in the yard.
“Excellent,” said Harry. “You didn’t kill any of them, guys. That’s pretty swell.
John’s going to be mad about the burn marks, but I’ll talk to him. You know, calm him down.”
“What the crap was that?,” asked one of the guys. He still had a grip on his pistol, but three of the horde buzzed around him. A few others had him in their line of sight. He might be able to get a shot off, but he would be sliced to ribbons after that.
“If you want to live, I would advise you to throw the guns out here,” said Harry. “The boys don’t like gunslingers. It makes them antsy.”
Two more pistols flew out in the grass. One of the bees landed on the middle thug. It began poking around.
“All right,” said the guy. “All right.”
He dropped a back up pistol over the edge of the porch.
“Doesn’t that feel better?,” said Harry. “Now you won’t have to have a closed box for your funeral. Your moms will love it more than you. So now that we’re all talking, what’s going on, and why are you at my house trying to kick the door in?”
“We thought this was someone else’s house,” said one of the guys before his friends whispered for him to shut up.
“I share it with a couple of guys,” said Harry. “So which one ticked you guys off? Was it Guy? It had to be Guy.”
They said nothing. That made him think they were mad at John instead of a simple robbery. Why were they mad at John? John was a school teacher at a high school.
“So John ticked you off,” said Harry. “I wonder why. I mean he can be surly and judgmental. I doubt he owes money. He spends like Scrooge. Can I have another piece of coal, Mister Stuart? No!”
Harry scratched his face. He wanted to just shoot these three guys and dump them in the trunk of the car and have their wheelman take them to whomever is in charge of them. Maybe that was the low blood sugar talking.
Maybe it was the shock of losing his pinkie toes.
“You know if I don’t get something, I’m just going to shoot you,” said Harry. “I’m not a cop. I can do that.”
“You look like a cop,” said the smarter one.
“School cop,” said Harry. “Lost my job and my pinkie toes because the xenos showed up to eat people. Like that’s my fault. I didn’t ask them to show up. I liked walking around and running bums off. Nothing’s better than beating a homeless guy over the head with a baton. It gives a solid whack, know what I mean?”
“Are you going to kill us?,” asked the smarter one. He exchanged looks with his friends. They might be able to get out of this with just some burns, ripped clothes, and burnt hair.
“Do you want me to?,” asked Harry.
“No, no, no,” said one of the other guys holding his hands up to block any shots to the noggin. That wouldn’t stop a slug from the rifle Harry had created from the weapon menu.
“All right,” said Harry. “Give me a phone. I don’t know if you guys are in a gang, or not. If you are, have your boss call me and we’ll straighten things out. I can’t have you guys coming down here and stirring the boys up. I’m trying to train them.”
One of the bees rotated to look at him in way that asked who was training who before completing its orbit.
“Also I am going to need some identification in case I have to come to your homes,” said Harry. “I might want to talk things over with your parents.”
A case of content theft: this narrative is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.
“Oh, heck no,” said one of the goons. “I’m not doing that.”
A group of drones fell on him and ripped his pants apart securing his wallet. They carried it to Harry and dropped it in his hands. He took a look at the license inside and gave the wallet back to the bees. They carried it back to the goon and dropped it in his hands.
“Was that so bad, Delmar?,” asked Harry. He held out his hands for the other two. They quickly handed over their licenses. He made a note and gave the cards back. A fourth card floated to him in the pincers of a bee. The wheelman did not need to be told after being shown. He nodded at the bee when he had the name in his memory.
“All right,” said Harry. “You can take off. I need that phone before you go. That way we can make peaceful arrangements about things. Stay away from my friend. He’s dangerous and crazy.”
“Really,” said Delmar. “Does he rip up a hundred dollar pair of pants?”
“There was this one girl where he...,” started Harry. “I can’t tell you the rest. You’re too young. Phone, Delmar. Then you guys can beat it.”
“Why does it have to be my phone?,” Delmar whined.
“Because you don’t have any pants to carry it,” Harry mocked. “Phone, or pinkie toes. Which one do you want to leave?”
“Phone,” said Delmar. He handed it over. “I hate you.”
“The next time you try to break into someone’s house, don’t pick the craziest guy on the block,” said Harry. “Pick a cat lady. They’re harmless.”
The bees melted the pistols to slag. They exploded when the bullets cooked off and there was no place for them to go. The trio ran from the smoldering fires on the lawn.
“Really guys?,” said Harry. He was glad no one had been hurt by the explosions. “Next time, just melt the barrel. That only takes a second.”
Harry walked up on the porch as he watched the car drive away. They didn’t take a shot at him with their remaining pistol. He thought that was good.
“Other than blowing up the pistols, you guys did great,” said Harry. “Good job. I’m going to take a bath and get some clothes. Then we’ll talk about the future. Somebody better watch the doors and windows in case they come back.”
He let himself in with his spare key. He put the rifle in the closet next to the door in case he needed it. He found a note pad in the junk drawer in the kitchen and wrote down the four names and their addresses. He didn’t want to get in the bath and forget everything.
He wrote another note and stuck it in the crack of the door. He didn’t want John or Guy to walk into a crowd of angry bees. That would be bad for them.
“You don’t get points for killing humans,” said Nick.
“That’s okay,” said Harry. “I kill humans for free. Are the new feet waterproof?”
“Yes,” said Nick. “You can get upgrades that are clones of your original feet when you open the advanced medical catalogue.”
“That should open in a month, I guess,” said Harry. He made sure the house was locked up before getting a beer out of the refrigerator. He drank part of it as he raided John’s closet for a change of clothes. He took that into the main bathroom.
“Any reason you lied about living here?,” asked Nick.
“I didn’t want them coming back and bothering John and Cat,” said Harry. He put the new clothes on the back of the toilet. He put his new phone, old phone, scanners, and the rest of his belongings in the sink. He closed and locked the door. He started the water running while he undressed.
He slid into the warm water, and closed his eyes. He just needed to sleep and let the bees watch the rest of the house. Anybody breaking in here was going to get a shock. He needed to teach them a little about group tactics but that would come the more they hung out with him.
They were already smarter than he thought they would be.
“I’ll wake you if something comes up,” said Nick. “Try not to drown in your bath.”
Harry waved the voice away as he relaxed in the tub. He cut off the water before he completely fell asleep. Then he was out like a light.
Harry spent he didn’t know how long dreaming about reviewing his actions that had led up to him being contracted, his actions after being contracted, and ways of doing the job better with what he had.
A banging on the bathroom door woke him up as he received a gold star for the use of killer bees. No one else had tried that yet.
“You alive in there, Harry?,” said a baritone of concern. “I don’t want to dump your body.”
“Five more minutes, Mom,” said Harry. “I still got time for the bus.”
“Are you all right?,” asked a lighter voice. “Do you need help?”
“In the bath,” said Harry a little louder, waking up. “I’m okay. Lost my pinkie toes.”
“Do we need to come in there?,” asked the deeper voice. “Get out my face, bug.”
“The bees are dangerous,” said Harry. “Just leave them alone. I’ll be out in a minute.”
Harry opened his eyes. The bathwater was black. He reached down and pulled the lever for the stopper. He cut on the shower and washed off as the dirty water flowed down the drain. He was ready to kill as many of the xenos as he could find.
He finished cleaning up, letting the shower wash the bottom of the tub clean. He felt better, but hangry. He got into his borrowed clothes and put everything in his pockets. He almost felt like a brand new man.
“What are you doing here, Harry?,” asked John. He had put on a lot of muscle as a teacher, a more serious demeanor, and some gray in his short haircut. “Are those my clothes?”
“Mine were wrecked,” said Harry. He rolled up the oversized sleeves of his borrowed shirt. “Some guys were trying to break in when I got here. What did you do?”
“Let’s sit down and talk,” said Cat. She wore her scrubs from the Shane General Hospital, and tye-died crocs. She had pulled her short hair into a small ponytail to keep it out of her way as she worked. “You do look ridiculous in John’s clothes.”
“I was under the influence and couldn’t make it home,” said Harry. He looked around for his beer, and thought maybe he had finished it and thrown the can away. He wasn’t sure now.
“They said Wu U had an incursion,” said John. He went to the fridge and got himself a beer, and bottled tea for Cat. He closed the door instead of offering Harry anything. “What happened?”
“I lost my pinkie toes,” said Harry. He frowned. “Do you mind if I have a beer?”
“Lost your pinkie toes?,” said Cat. She came around to look at his feet.
“Do you want to explain what happened?,” asked John.
“I zigged instead of zagging,” said Harry. “Could I have that beer? Then you can tell me why the local kids were trying to break into your house.”
“I have been running the local dealers off the grounds when I see them,” said John. “Might be some of those guys.”
“And you didn’t call me?,” said Harry. “You know I love that stuff.”
“I know you love it, but you’re too dangerous for some simple rousting,” said John. “You would be burning houses down in a second.”
“Those aren’t your real feet,” said Cat. “What did you do, Harry?”
“I haven’t burnt a house down since that thing with Guy,” said Harry. “And that was all his fault. Could I have a beer, please? I’m thirsty.”
“Give him the beer, John,” said Cat. She gestured for him to sit at the kitchen table. “What happened at the Wu? Let’s start with that. Then we can go on to why John hasn’t said anything to me about running the dealers out of his school, and talk about the people trying to break into our house. Then I have to go to bed to get ready for tomorrow, and so does John, but he also has things to grade for his classes.”
John mouthed big mouth behind her back.
Harry sat down with a shrug.