Chapter 1:
With a groan, I roll out of bed and look at alarm clock. Huh, it's 8:40, how nice. It's 8:40… Holy shit it's 8:40! Now it's 8:41! I gotta get to work or I'm gonna be late! Right, clothes! Clothes first! Then make-up. Then breath-freshener. Okay, sufficiently calm now. Let’s go!
“Why are you late again, Nik?”
“Uhh…”
“C’mon, Nik, you can do better than that, can't you?”
“...”
“Okay, okay, you got me, I'll let you off the hook, this time.”
“Thanks, Boss.”
The story has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the violation.
People say I have resting bitch-face. Both the condition and literally. When I don't control my expressions, then I apparently look angry as all fuck, and when I'm happy, I look like I couldn't care less. You don't even wanna know how I look like when I'm angry. It apparently makes anyone around me wish that they had went ahead and killed themselves yesterday.
Back to work, Boss is pretty lenient about me being late. It could just be that I intimidate him, I mean, I am 6”4 and he’s 5”6. I am kind of big boned too. I really don't want to admit it, I am a lady after all.
I went about work as usual for the rest of the day. At the end of the day, I hopped into my car, drove out of the lot, into the street, and stopped at the light. It turned green and I drove into the intersection. That was when I spotted this fuck-boy in a sports car fly straight at me. He didn’t even look up from his smartphone before he crashed into me. God, if I had to go, why did it have to be in this tin coffin?
“Because I said so, bitch.”
Wait, what?
“Your God has spoken to you, weak female. I’ve had this fine specimen of a young man crash into you so you could be sent out of this planet to reincarnate your filthy self elsewhere.”
For one, are you being sexist right now? Is that what’s happening? Second, won’t your “fine specimen of a man” die in this car crash too?
“Of course not, I am protecting him with my divine powers.”
Well, a divine fuck you, too.
“Okay then, bye female, you will now be sent to another world to be reincarnated.”
Bye God.
*SCREEECH*
*CRASH*
Welp, fuck my life. Bye Earth, hello, wherever the fuck I’m going to now.