Chapter : To Live is to Lie

[Evelyn P.O.V]

Nerina Morwen.

—her best friend. The figure she and adrian had looked up to... and the same monster who tore the world to cinders.

Evelyn found her beneath the sprawling branches of the old ash tree, dozing off as the afternoon sun painted dappled patterns across her face.

A faint breeze rustled through the leaves, carrying the distant murmur of servants and the delicate scent of blooming lilacs. It was peaceful—almost idyllic. But Evelyn knew better.

Nerina was skipping class again.

She would have admired the girl’s audacity, were it not for the heavy knot of concern twisting in her chest.

It wasn’t the first time Nerina had evaded Lady Callista’s lessons and if Evelyn hadn’t chanced upon her, the girl would no doubt be heading to Master Alaric’s quarters soon— eager to lose herself in another lecture on magic theory.

Evelyn’s hands tightened into fists, she couldn’t let that happen again. Not this time.

So she approached her friend quietly, footsteps soft against the grass. As evelyn drew near, she hesitated —taking a moment to observe the sleeping child.

Even at rest Nerina’s brow was furrowed, her expression tense. And Evelyn’s heart ached at the sight, she knew her friend did not get any proper rest as of late.

She looked so fragile, so small against the vastness of the ancient tree. Yet, there was a stubbornness in her even now—a refusal to yield, even in her dreams.

But Evelyn knew what this stubbornness would cost her. She had seen it before— played out in cruel, vivid details of that other timeline.

And she was determined to stop it this time.

So Evelyn crouched down, placing a gentle hand on Nerina’s shoulder. Her fingers twirled at the soft fabric that had began to crease.

“Nerina. Wake up.”

Thus the girl stirred— eyes fluttering open, pupils narrowing against the bright sunlight.

She looked at Evelyn in momentary confusion before realization dawned, and her shoulders tensed.

“...Evelyn.”

Nerina started, a tired sigh escaping her lips as she tried to force a smile.

“Nerina, you were supposed to be in Lady Callista’s lesson.”

Nerina sat up, brushing stray leaves from her skirt.

“I… finished early.”

The girl chuckled dryly, a nervous lump forming in her throat as she scratches her cheek in embarassment.

“Lying doesn’t suit you.”

“Lady Callista wouldn’t let you leave without a thorough review. You ran away, didn’t you?”

Before her friend could spiral into a train of excuses— Evelyn cut in. Her voice was firm, yet not unkind as it lacked the opressive edge of accusation.

For a moment, Nerina’s face betrayed her—a flicker of guilt quickly masked by defiance.

The girl's meek and embarassed expression was gone, replaced by furrowed brows as she bit her lip in frustration.

“I don’t see the point of her lessons. They’re dull —Useless. Why do I need to learn which fork to use at a banquet?”

Evelyn sighed as her friend's tone began to rise, a sharper edge taking place rather than her usual carefree words.

“It’s not just about forks. It’s about composure. Discipline. Understanding the rules of this world.”

Facing evelyn's scolding —nerina kicked a stone in frustration, sending it skipping on the pond nearby as she leaned against the ash tree.

“Rules…”

Nerina repeated, her voice tight as it swirled with disgust at the thought.

“Rules made by people who don’t have to follow them. Priveledged scum who decide what’s right, who belongs, and who doesn’t. Why should I care about fitting into their world?”

A bird with broken wings cannot fly —why should it long for the sky?

“Because you’re part of this house, a pillar of the empire. And like it or not, people will judge you by how well you play their game.”

Nerina’s eyes flashed, a mocking laugh escaping her lips as years of bottled frustration began to crack.

“A game I was never meant to win, right?” Her fists clenched, trembling.

“Just like magic. No matter how hard I try, no matter how much I learn… I’ll never be able to use it. Isn’t that what you’re trying to say?”

Love what you're reading? Discover and support the author on the platform they originally published on.

Evelyn’s heart sank. The broken pieces of her friend's hope cut like a knife.

“Nerina—”

She wanted to tell Nerina that it was wrong—that obssesion is different from hope, but Evelyn knew she had no right to do so.

“It’s easy for you to talk about rules and discipline. You have magic. You belong in that world.”

Nerina’s voice wavered, her tone raw with jealousy.

Years upon agonizing years, ever since birth— Nerina had been trapped by her cursed bloodline.

“But what about me? What do I have?”

A doomed youth who had lost her future since birth.

And the words had stung deeply, but Evelyn kept her composure —or atleast, she tried.

Before she realized, Evelyn was already swallowing a lump in her throat. Forcing the words she needed to say, pleading to get through her friend's layered walls.

“You already have more than you realize. Lady Callista’s lessons aren’t meant to stifle you. She’s trying to prepare you, to protect you.”

“Protect me?”

Nerina scoffed. Because to her, playing doll and dress up to be sold as a product felt more fitting of a description.

“By teaching me to smile and nod? To play pretty for nobles who see me as nothing more than an accessory?”

Her voice broke, bitterness seeping through as the bottled venom began to leak —surfacing from the depths of her fractured person.

“That’s not protection. That’s surrender.”

Evelyn’s expression crumpled, she wanted to yell at Nerina for being an irresponsible fool.

—but she knew better than anyone how it felt to have the world work against you.

“Lady Callista has been more considerate than you realize. She’s excluded lessons she knew you’d struggle with—like sewing and deep history."

"She even avoids trendy gossip topics because she knows how uncomfortable they make you. She’s not trying to change who you are, Nerina. She’s trying to help you navigate a world that won’t bend for anyone.”

To say she was shocked would be an understatement— as upon hearing those words Nerina faltered, surprise flashing across her face as her voice temporarily lost it's edge.

“...She did that?”

Evelyn nodded, she knew how much Lady Callista had been stressed lately —yet she still put in the heart to be considerate.

“She’s strict because she wants you to be strong. To be able to stand tall even when surrounded by people who look down on you.”

Nerina looked away, her shoulders stiff. A frustrated scratch made its way through her scalp as she took it all in.

“...I never asked for her help.”

“No, but you needed it,”

Evelyn said gently, pausing to steel herself to say the following words— ones that would cruelly break her friend's already fractured heart.

“Just as you need to let go of these magic lessons.”

Nerina’s jaw tightened as she bit her lips to stiffle a cry, the painful truth digging deep unto her shattered world.

Evelyn knew that magic had been her friend's only escape —but living forever in a lie would only destroy her.

“I don’t want to— I… I like learning about magic. It’s the one place where I feel… free.”

Evelyn’s heart ached at the confession—magic, it was the last thread Nerina had been holding unto in this world filled with darkness.

And now she was telling Nerina to throw it away —as if asking for the girl to plunge unto the abyss below.

“I know. But Master Alaric… he’s not teaching you for your sake. He’s using you.”

“You’re lying,”

Nerina snapped, eyes blazing as she pleaded for evelyn to stop —perhaps because she was already aware of the lingering truth.

“He’s kind to me. He… he showed me spells that were beautiful. He told me that if I understood enough, I could find my own way to use magic.”

Evelyn’s gaze softened. The irony hitting her hard as years later... nerina would indeed have her wish.

She would do the impossible, commanding magic never before seen in the empire's history —despite her cursed bloodline.

It's just that...

By then— she was no longer the friend evelyn knew. By the time they met again Nerina had become unrecognizable.

Gone was Nerina Morwen, the sweet and carefree girl who loved magic —and in her place was nothing more than a wretched beast that fed on the suffering of others.

So this time— while she cannot save her friend from their wretched fate, evelyn could atleast ease Nerina's burden and listen to her.

She would say all that she needed to, so when the time comes for goodbye —evelyn could send Nerina off with a smile.

“He told you that so you would keep coming back. Because it makes him look good—like he’s the great teacher who can even teach a girl without magic."

"He’s feeding you false hope, Nerina. And he’s getting paid handsomely for it, along with a convenient connection to the Morwen family.”

Nerina’s face twisted at those words, her lips curling into a bitter smile as she realized she had fallen for the 'carrot and stick' —the oldest trick in the book.

“Of course. Should’ve known,”

Nerina spat with dry chuckle, wiping the tears away with the back of her hand.

“It’s just like this wretched empire. Even the ‘kindness’ offered is rotten.”

Evelyn opened her mouth to speak, but Nerina cut her off— voice trembling as it laced with venom.

“So that’s it, huh? I’m just a defective heir. A puppet with broken strings. Can’t even do magic like a proper noble.”

Her laughter was sharp, mocking —but Evelyn could hear the tremors underneath.

“Should I bow my head and play nice then? Obey all the stupid rules and learn which fork to use? Is that what you want?”

Because what else is there left for me to do?

The unspoken words rang out between them, and even a single glance at Nerina's eyes would foretell the years of agony.

—the bitterness on how much the girl had resigned to her fate, the unfairness upon the twists of fate that had marred her life into a journey of surrender and resignation.

“It’s... not about obedience, Nerina.”

“It’s about facing the truth, no matter how cruel it is.”

Evelyn’s voice was steady, but her eyes softened.

Yet Nerina’s eyes flashed with defiance.

“Truth, huh? Funny coming from you. Everyone else just want me to give up. To accept that I’m powerless.”

The girl's hands balled into fists, knuckles turning white. Her nails dug deep unto the callaused palm to the point of dripping blood.

“You think I don’t know that? You think I don’t already feel like I’m nothing?”

Evelyn’s heart clenched, but she held her ground —stomping her foot hard unto the grass as she grabbed her friend's trembling shoulders.

“I’m not asking you to give up. I’m telling you to stop living in a lie.”

Nerina scoffed, the bitterness in her voice cutting deep.

“A lie, huh? Isn’t that what this whole world is built on? Titles, power, bloodlines—none of it matters, but we all pretend it does. Why shouldn’t I lie, too?”

The bite came sharper than intended, and for a moment Evelyn was shocked.

She knew of her friend's inferiority complex, of the insecurity from being unable to use magic— but not to this extent.

The venomous words, the bitter edge— it all felt like the same Nerina who tore the world apart.

Perhaps it had always been a part of her friend, the very same tainted piece that drowned in despair— a carefully hidden wound that only surfaced once her friend lost their current self.

Lies— evelyn felt all the lingering pain from that single word that left her friend's mouth.

It was as if Nerina was dissapointed— at Evelyn who couldn't understand her, not just at her powerlessness but also the certain loneliness... as if she was the only one who truly lived in this world.

That everything else is a lie...

Evelyn was shaken by how genuine this felt, but she couldnt leave her friend to rot even if it meant hurting her.

So with shaking hands— she reached out, her fingers tightly wrapping on the edge of Nerina's collar.

“Because lies won’t change anything,”

“They’ll only trap you. And I don’t want that for you.”

Evelyn barked frustratedly, her voice firm as she restlessly shook her friend with a breaking plea—grip coiling and almost tearing off the dress's collar.

Nerina’s eyes widened, her sarcasm faltering as she bit her lip.

“...Why do you care?”

Because even you left me in the end— even you didn't believe in me, no one did.

The girl's murmurs came with a defeated cry, but they were too soft for Evelyn to discern.

Unaware of her friend breaking apart, Evelyn’s gaze softened as she struggled to put the words together.

“Because... I don’t want you to be alone— to live your life chasing something that can never be yours… only to end up shattered when reality catches up.”

Nerina looked away, her shoulders trembling.

“So I’m just supposed to accept it? Accept that everything is worthless?”

There it was— the fear that comes back, the haunting voices that continue to grip her friend by the throat as it whispers her darkest nightmares.

She was no messiah, and Evelyn knew that. She will never fully understand Nerina's world nor Adrian's for that matter.

“None of it is worthless, because you’re Nerina —my friend. So even if the world is cruel… and the truth is painful… I’ll walk beside you. Or i'll die trying.”

Still, Evelyn moved closer —her voice dropping to a whisper.

The soft promise made Nerina’s breath hitch, her sarcasm crumbling as her walls began to crack.

“...You’re an idiot,” she muttered, her voice wavering —fading into the wind as her resentment began to subside.

“A sentimental fool.”

An idiot that couldn't let go... and indeed it was true —a fitting moniker for the hopeless Evelyn Arkwright.

“Perhaps.”

Evelyn admitted, a small smile playing on her lips.

“But I’d rather be a fool than watch you ruin yourself.”

For a long moment —Nerina was silent, her face turned away. But when she finally spoke her voice was hollow, resigned.

“Fine. I’ll let go of the magic class.”

Evelyn blinked, surprised by the sudden capitulation.

“You… will?”

Nerina laughed, but there was no humor in it. A resigned sigh escaped the girl's lips as she let go of the clenched fist that dug unto her palms.

“Don’t get all weepy. It’s not because I believe in your dumb ideals. It’s just… I’m tired. Tired of hoping. Tired of chasing shadows.”

She turned to face Evelyn, her eyes sharp despite the tears glistening within them.

“I’ll let go. But don’t expect me to smile and play the perfect little lady.”

Evelyn’s chest tightened at her friend's despair but she nodded, knowing it was the best she could ask for.

“That’s enough.”

Nerina scoffed, rising to her feet.

“You’d better keep your promise then. If you’re going to walk with me, don’t you dare leave me behind.”

Evelyn stood, a soft determination flickered in her eyes. A half—lie to ease her own pathetic powerlessness.

She would indeed stand by Nerina...

—Until the day Evelyn would kill her.

“I won’t. No matter what.”

Nerina looked at her for a long moment, as if searching for any hint of deception. Finding none, she finally turned away, her voice dropping to a whisper.

“...Idiot.”

But even as she walked off, her shoulders seemed just a little less heavy. Evelyn watched her go, relief and sorrow mingling within her heart.

She had saved Nerina from the lie… but Evelyn knew the journey ahead would still be painful.

Meetings and partings— Nerina Morwen would just be one of the firsts.

There are still plenty of people that would slip from Evelyn's hands in navigating this "life".

『To carry on living, while longing for what could've been...』

『—Is a bittersweet lie we must continue to live in.』