It was fortunate, or rather unfortunate, I suppose what happened to me. 

I had spent my life in the pursuit of human understanding. I wasn’t some guy who died from overwork, and without a girlfriend. I had been fairly successful in my past life. Graduate Degree, friends, and I had just started to go out with the girl of my dreams. I was doing really well with my private practice, where business was thriving. Everything was turning out great! Until I met my very fortunate client. 

I was sitting in my chair, notepad in hand,  writing down the history of one of the biggest losers I’d ever met. Now I actually don’t mean loser, as a therapist I wouldn’t use that kind of non professional language... It’s just not clinical. However this  “28 year old male who displayed symptoms of depression, fatigue, social anxiety, video game and porn addiction” might just be a classic loser. He seemed to carry a pretty serious, 'I've wasted my life’ vibe to him. 

Of course, as a trained psychological counselor, Ph.d. I am able to see human potential with my therapeutic mind. Which this guy certainly had in spades. He’d come to me, with a little push from mommy, and had great insurance. It looked promising, very promising. With a little support from me, say six months of sessions, this guy would likely find himself doing pretty well. He’d have some friends, a worthwhile job, and maybe a real girlfriend. Maybe.  

That was until the meteorite hit. Right into my office. Ending my great life. Unfortunately. 

Yes. A literal meteorite. Came smashing through my tinted window. Right onto my client couch. You might be asking yourself ‘why was I killed, and not my client?’ Well, my client had back issues --probably from crouching over the computer all day-- and requested to sit in my nice leather chair. When I invited him to sit wherever he wanted. No one ever takes the chair!  

So fortunate for him, he wasn’t struck down by a meteor. I however was dead in a near instant.

This is of course, is where things really go sideways. I don’t find myself in Heaven. Instead I find myself floating through this empty void. 

“Chosen one.” Comes a melodic female voice. 

I take a few breaths trying to stifle the panic of hearing voices but not seeing anything. “Are you talking to me? Who are you?” 

“Yes chosen one. You have been selected by fate to help save the people of my world.” Comes the voice again. “And I, I am the goddess of this world.” Suddenly before me appears a woman, dressed in what looks like a halloween costume, sexy greek goddess, radiating white light, with the figure of a barbie doll. 

My therapeutic mind goes into overdrive. Am I having a hallucination? Who is this weird woman? Why am I floating? Is this the afterlife? It Doesn’t seem at all like the after life taught at my old christion school. Maybe I’m having a psychotic break. 

 That's it! I am having a psychotic break, ok, I can handle that. After a few days, maybe with some medication, I should be feeling better. I’d have kept going if my train of thought hadn't been interrupted. 

“Hello...Chosen one.” I hear a timid voice. 

I look up. The hallucination in front of me seems a little irritated that I have been ignoring her. Why did she keep calling me Chosen one? Was I a narcissist in this hallucination? I immediately tried to contradict her. 

“Sorry, um. Thank you for appealing to my ego, miss god. But if it’s ok with you, I’ll just wait with my eyes closed till this hallucination passes. I’m just an above average guy.” I never knew I had such a deep seated feeling of self-importance. Chosen One? Give me a break.  I really need to seek my own therapist about my unconscious desires for grandiose delusions.

“Eh...Hem…” She sounded more irritated this time. Looking up, she had her hands on her hips and was giving me a stern look. “I am not some hallucination chosen one. Where would you even get the idea? I am the goddess of a great and magical world! And you are being a little rude for ignoring me.”

I was being rude? She was the figment of my imagination. Where does he get off telling me I’m rude. “Ok your goddessness. I’ll play along.” I decided to get to the crux of how I saw the problem. “One minute I was sitting on my couch when a meteorite came down crashing through my window, and then I find myself sitting with a goddess floating in the air, calling me Chosen One.” I tried to enhance the ridiculousness of it all.  “I’ve done enough case studies on psychotic breaks that the chances of a meteor killing me and finding myself in a floating world talking to a trampy goddess, seems more like a hallucination than reality. Sorry.” 

“You are the most infuriating chosen one I have met in the many eons since I have ascended as the goddess of Phantasiae. I am not some figment of your overblown ego.” She petulantly stated. Clearly she didn’t like my attitude, explanation, and likely calling her trampy. So maybe her anger was somewhat justified. For a figment of my imagination.  

Seeing she was really frustrated, I went to my default response, “Tell me more?” Her eyes narrowed.

“Look, I don’t know why fate has sent you here, but every other chosen one, has leapt at the chance to start their life over again! I don’t see why you should be any different.” She firmly stated. 

“That sounds hard. Go on.” I encouraged trying to disarm her. 

“I’m just saying that Phantasiae needs a hero. You are it! I know you must have lived a terrible life, never being understood, no friends, only being able to live your potential in the primitive online games and fantasies. But that doesn’t mean you can just ignore me.” And then on a dime, her furrowed brows softened, she blushed slightly and gazed at me coyley as she said, “So please, can you help us? It would mean so much to me.” she pouted with obvious intent. 

What did she mean by, ‘no friends!’ and ‘only lived life on the internet.’ Was she even talking about me? And why do I get the feeling that she’s trying to seduce me at the same time. 

“I’m not sure where you received your information about me, but I’m a trained clinical therapist. Ph.D. I’ve got lots of friends, and don’t really spend too much time using the internet. My life is great. Perhaps you’re looking for a different chosen one.” I tried to rationalize with the clearly labile woman with histrionic tendencies. 

At those words, she seemed to pause, immediately going from pouty school girl to a serious expression. Her eyes seemed to grow distant, moving back and forth as if she was watching something. I was about to interrupt when her hand flew to her mouth, “Dang it!” All semblance of elegance and grace flew right out the window as she began to pace back and forth, and began to speak as if I wasn’t there. “I knew I shouldn't have left it up to Bothy to get this right?! How do you get a meteor strike wrong!” In flash she vanished. 

Therapist: 1, Hallucination: 0. Heh, now I just need to wait-it-out till the real God shows up or I wake up from this very odd experience. If I do wake up, I’m going to have a lot to uncover in my deep psyche though. 

*Pop*

The ‘goddess’ audibly appeared once again  wearing a much more conservative outfit. “Ok, so I think I’ve sorted it out. You weren’t meant to be here, the other guy in the room was.” She stated with clear annoyance. 

I nodded smiling. “Thats ok. Now that it's said and done, why don’t you send me back.” I was fully confident my hallucination was about to end. 

She paused, biting her words. “Well you see, I can’t. You're dead.” I gave her a long look.  “I mean you're not dead dead. I mean to say you're no longer a part of your world. And as a middle management goddess, I’ve already spent my resources for a chosen one to be reallocated to Phantasiae, and I can’t send you back.” she added under her breath “Not to mention Earth’s middle management has decided that he wants to keep my chosen one.” 

“What?” I inquired, confused and worried that I might not be waking up as soon as I thought.

“Nothing, just ignore that last part. I just meant to say: You’re here now. And I get to work with you.” She smiled painfully. 

“Look, miss goddess, it sounds like there was a small mistake on your part. Why don’t you send me back, and it will all be ok, no harm done. Don’t worry I won’t charge you for my time.” Man this hallucination was carrying on for longer than I expected.

Her eyes grew steely. “I see. You still think this is a hallucination, and somehow I’m at fautl?” She walked over, trying to be intimidating and leaned in. Having had client’s try to pressure me before, I just looked her straight in the eye, not reacting. 

“Yes.” I tried to reply as blandly as possible. 

“Fine.” she harrumphed. “Well, let’s see how long you can believe that for!” 

*Pop* 

Was she mad that I didn’t do what she wanted? Or just that I had pointed out her part in this problem

*Pop*

She reappeared once again with a gleaming white staff in hand.   “I’ve decided to send you to High City, the center of the great kingdoms!” She waved her staff which caused a white glow, “I will send off you with my greatest blessing.” 

“I’m good.” I immediately interrupted her, causing her to stop mid blessing and the staff to dim. “Why don’t you send me home. No need to bless me. I think it's best if we keep this professional.” I wasn’t about to accept a ‘gift’ from a woman with such rapid mood swings. The board would have my license.

Clearly not expecting to be interrupted, she gave me a cold look. “Too bad!” and snapped her fingers. 

*Pop*

I was out of the presence of the ‘goddess’. I was truly unfortunate. 

My client, on the other hand, seemed to have dodged a bullet. 

***

It didn’t take long for me to realize that I was either having the longest and in most in depth hallucination, or perhaps the goddess lady wasn’t an illusion. 

For now, I found myself in the greatest city in all of Phantasiae, High City. A crown jewel of the world, the center point for various Kingdoms across the realm. A place where goods and ideas were exchanged freely. And it was as she had said ‘a truly magical world.’ In grade school and college, I’d read my share of fantasy novels, seen anime, even dabbling with genres not all that mainstream. This place seemed to have it all, and more. Wizards, dragons, elves, magical martial artists, and more of the same. 

Here I was, an outsider trying to make sense of it all. Trying to not actually lose my mind in a city of fantasy. I was literally living out some power trope. 

That brat of a goddess, must have been pretty mad at me though. She had sent me to high city in the most awkward of situations. I found myself lying on top of the altar of one of her temples. Naked. I’m no prude. Sex therapy was one of my specialties. But I am not comfortable being surrounded by a bunch of young priestesses while in the buff. Luckily for me I found a convenient tapestry with ‘her ladyships’ likeness which made for a nice makeshift rope.

The head matron didn’t know what to make of me. Cleary, I was sent by the goddess, and they had been expecting a chosen one for some time. However, she was not too keen to find their deities likeness being used to cover my backside. I didn’t mind. 

This story has been stolen from Royal Road. If you read it on Amazon, please report it

“Chosen one. Let me fetch you some clothes” The wizened old woman, the high priestess from what I could tell, directed one of the younger ladies for the task. 

“I’m not the chosen one. No rush.” I sat down, which happened to be in front of the likeness of her goddess. The old woman winced. “Your goddess made that very clear. She picked the wrong guy. She made a mistake.”

“I’m sure, chosen one, you must be mistaken. You have been clearly blessed. I can sense the divine in you.” I held back rolling my eyes. Well there was no use trying to convince a fanatic.

“All right. Well instead of ‘Chosen One,’ why don’t you just call me Carl, insteadl. May I ask who you are?” 

“I am a High Priestess for the Holy Order of Her Lady’s Desire. We are an ancient order devoted to serving duties of the Holy Goddess Vota. As her Chosen One…”

“Carl” I insisted. 

She smiled “As the Chosen One Carl, we are here to fulfill all of your desires and to help you fulfill your mission in our world.” She grandly waved her hand, and in walked a dozen young ladies, laden with chests of treasure, platters of food, weapons, pieces of armor, bottles of various potions, and few who just stood their batting their eyelashes. 

Gazing over the crowd, my thoughts began to race. Why would they want to give me all this loot? I began to grow suspicious especially by what she could have meant by all my desires. They couldn’t mean...I looked at the end of the row where there were some ladies not holding anything, but were batting their eyes at me. 

Oh No! What was wrong with everyone here? Was this some sort of cult? What did they tell, or worse do, to these girls to get them to this point?  Who goes around just giving up the ranch to the first person they meet? I'll tell you what. Whatever these people wanted it certainly wasn’t given with no strings attached. They wanted something and no way did I want to get myself sucked into this moral quagmire. 

“Well thank you.”  I tried to hide my revulsion, and the High Priestess seemed to take my statement as acceptance, till I cut her off.  “However, I’m afraid I won’t be able to accept your generous gifts at this time. It just wouldn’t be right.” I immediately saw a look of disappointment on the face of the High Priestess and of the young women standing in front of me. 

“But Chosen One!”

“Carl”

“Eh. This is a commandment of the Holy Goddess. If you do not accept our gifts, we shall have failed her, and we shall be punished for our negligence. It is our duty to prepare you for the outside world. You have nothing! You must accept.” She pleaded along with a chorus of the other female priestesses who agreed. 

Boundaries 101: How many times had I counseled clients against giving into addicts and manipulative mommy’s to get exactly what they wanted? Well I wasn’t about to be a hypocrite. 

I began in my most reasonable tone. “It looks like this is important for you. But I’m not used to accepting gifts from people I don’t know for no reason... Especially from people who offer members of their order to fulfill my needs.” I said that last line in my head. “I’m sorry but the answer is still no.” 

The High Priestess had expected that the Chosen One in all his glory, would have been somewhat proud and honorable, and would have feigned reluctance to accept gifts. But his ongoing stubbornness baffled her. Did he really not want anything in front of him. She had hand selected the most beautiful young ladies for this day. Perhaps there was something different about him….She had a sudden insight. 

“It is clear to see that our Chosen One is very Noble,” she addressed the young ladies apologetically. Perhaps these gifts are not suitable for one such as yourself. If we were to offer you….”

“No!” Carl wasn’t exactly sure where she was going, but he could guess.  “No gifts. Of any kind. I’m good.” He didn’t want this to go on any further so he added. “I have a girlfriend back home.” He hoped this information, which he still wished to be true, would stop them from offering any more inappropriate gifts. From what it looked, it seemed to satisfy some of the collected group. 

It was clear that he wasn’t going anywhere soon if he didn’t do something. This crazy group of fanatics were dead set on giving him something, whether he wanted it or not. I’m not about to owe these zealots and an opportunity to ask me for a favor later on. They were clearly not above doing something pretty unwholesome to get what they wanted. What kind of weird goddess…

Suddenly an insight struck Carl.

He addressed the sullen region head. “High Priestess. I have an idea which may be able to solve both our problems.” She looked up with sudden interest. “I am a therapist by profession, a humble healer of the mind and restorer of relationships, I am able to help those who have distressing thoughts or distressful kinships.” She nodded, befuddled. “I might be able to help you with those who might be struggling in those areas, and you can then compensate me for my work.” 

“Ah, Cho….Holy Carl you are a healer. How wonderful and marvelous is the wisdom of the Goddess.” There was a chorus of agreement of the ladies. “We have many who excel in the arts of healing and use their magics, but none who are gifted in the arts of the mind.” 

I nodded along, beginning to see my plan taking place. 

“It would be an honor to see your healing magic in person Oh Holy Ther-ray-pest.” The way she butchered the word left me cringing. “Ther-ah-pist.” I immediately corrected her. I wasn’t going to spend this whole adventure with that as my title.  She repeated it correctly the second time. 

“It’s not really magic” I corrected. “I sit with people, we talk about their problems, and together, help them discover new ways of learning, understanding and growing.” I smiled warmly.

She paused for a moment trying to make sense of my words. “Ah, It truly must be great magic, for this healing of the mind goes well beyond my comprehension, oh great Holy One.” 

“I guess that’s true,” Not bother to correct her, at least for now. “It's a lot more complicated than I explained.”  It was always the case whenever I explained my job to friends or family. When you tell someone you talk to others for a living, it makes it sound like you're not doing anything more than what a telemarketer does. But to explain how it was really different was usually beyond what people wanted to listen to.

“Wonderful, I am sure we can have one of our young ladies here volunteer to have a demonstration.” At her insistence all the young ladies stepped forward to be healed by the ‘Chosen One.’

“High Priestess, thank you, but it doesn’t work that way.” I tried to calm the excited gaggle of ladies. “I’ll need a private room with a few comfortable chairs.” Turning to the ladies I addressed them. “We’ll be talking about your private lives, your families, work, friends and what you like and dislike. This is hard emotional work! It can be difficult  to talk about these things to a friend let alone a stranger. I want you to know that nothing you tell me will be shared with anyone else. But for this to work you need to be open and honest.” I tried to be as forthright as possible while giving a brief rundown of my usual spiel. It was gratifying to see that some of the enthusiastic young ladies were a bit more somber after what would be required of them. 

“This is completely voluntary, you can quit at any time. But it’s important to know what to expect before we get started.” I kept a somber expression. 

Seconds passed as the suddenly bright and cheery girls, had eyes turned away trying to avoid mine or the high priestesses gaze. Finally, after what felt like eternity, a girl holding a bowl of fruit stepped forward. 

“Chosen One, I would like to try.” 

****

Mina, the girl who stepped forward, sat across from me on an overstuffed pink sofa. The room I had been given was brightly lit, with ornate windows, and plush carpets. It had been furnished with the ornate chairs along with a devan and numerous pillows. An elaborate tapestry depicting some scene with the goddess was on display on one of the walls.  The room smelled of lavender oil and was immaculately clean.  A table had been set along another wall, filled with chilled drinks, fruits and cheeses. 

The High Priestess had insisted on the luxurious furnishings, and I secretly suspected that she thought I had more than therapy in mind. As all the High Priestess was able to find for clothing was a very loose fitting robe, which seemed to accentuate my chest.  And I thought Freud was fixated. 

Smiling, I had tried to make myself comfortable in a chair, while having the young lady Mina, sit across from me.Strategically placing an ottoman was between us. “Mina the first thing I need to let you know is I’m no Chosen One. I’m just a guy, just call me Carl” 

“All right… Holy Carl” She reluctantly agreed. 

“So Mina, what challenge would you like to talk about today?” I immediately started to use my therapeutic voice. 

Mina shifted uncomfortably for a minute, hesitant to begin. I sat patiently knowing she was finding the words and courage to speak. This often happened with new patients. This especially happened if there was something really upsetting they wanted to share. I smiled knowing she was going to start to share. 

“My...my... “ Mina started. 

This was it.

“My boyfriend doesn’t LOVE me anymore!” Mina burst into tears. 

***

An hour later Mina was smiling pleasantly after crying her eyes out. It was true what Holy Car had said, he really did have this magic to just listen and understand her. He even helped her see that she would be ok. 

Carl sighed. Well it wasn’t the first time he’d dealt with teen relationship drama. Though last time, it had been with a high school girl. Though Mina had just turned 18 she’d been dating a boy for a few years.

He’d grown distant and had tried to break up with her recently. He’d let her know that he had signed on as a caravan guard, a dangerous profession, and could be gone for upto a year.  Of course she’d thought he didn’t love her anymore, and had stormed off in fit. Whether or not he did wasn’t important to Carl. If she valued herself and communicated her feelings and heard him out then she’d probably have some peace. 

It really wasn’t a ‘mental health’ issue, but hey he was versatile. Besides relationship counseling was all part of his expertise. 

Mina had stepped out of the office first and found the High Priestess. “Milady, I have completed my ‘session’ with our Chosen One, Holy Carl.” She reported demurely, all traces of crying gone. 

“It was brave of you child to step forward to face our Chosen One’s magic. I am curious, what was his magic like, did he heal your malady?” The high priestess was eager to understand the power of ‘Ther-ahpy’ the chosen one had spoken of. 

Mina blushed slightly, “I’m sorry holy one, but I was unable to perceive the magic. It seemed as though he really just listened to what I had to say.” She’d been so caught up in the session she’d forgotten the task, however, she hadn’t felt any magic, but there had been something to report. “However, after speaking to him I do feel different, better, as if I I see a path forward with my problem.” 

The High Priestess looked more closely at her pupil. For the last week, her keen senses had noticed a disruption in the energies of the young priestess. Not uncommon for young women of her age. Examining her now, however, the imbalance of her energies had eased. “It seems to me that he has indeed helped to calm a disruption in your energy. You are dismissed.” Mina quickly departed. 

The High Priestess Asta, first flower of the Holy Lady’s Bouquet Sect pondered silently. Perhaps it really was just words. Or perhaps his magic is so advanced, Mina could not sense it. There were certainly magics of the mind which held such power to elude detection. But those were forbidden, and the Goddess would not have selected her chosen one with such a corrupt power. Her mind trailed off as Carl appeared. 

“I have completed my task High Priestess.” She noticed that he still carried the aura of being in her deities presence. 

“Thank you Holy Carl, our goddess will truly delight in your service. As you must know when great magics are used a suitable price will be offered.” She hoped he would accept this time. It baffled her why he kept turning down the gifts of her deity. “As per payment, I hope you can accept this small sum.” She waved over one of the attending priestesses. The young lady approached him with a small chest. She opened it to reveal a sizable amount of gold coins.It was just a fraction of what had been prepared, but she hoped to pay him the modest sum. She began to worry as Carl stood their eyeing the sum. 

“Is this a normal amount of money for a service like this?” 

Asta could tell he looked suspicious. Of course it was far more than would typically be offered for a magical treatment. However, she and the other priestesses understood that he, like others, from other worlds would have no idea of the prices. So she bent truth a bit, for his sake. “For one of such high esteem as yourself, blessed by our holy Goddess, your invaluable services would render such a fee.” She smiled only hoping he wouldn’t see past her little ruse. The Goddess’s Chosen one truly was invaluable, and his gifts were priceless that she was willing to pay any cost for them.

He only paused a moment before replying to her. “Well all right. I guess I’ll take the payment.” he paused taking the chest before continuing. “Actually, I do have a question though, what’s the name of this goddess of yours?” 

Asta was floored. “Carl, you do not know our most Holy Lady’s Name?” How did a Chosen One pass through the divine gates without meeting the the Goddess? 

“Well, your goddess and I were discussing other things, apparently there was a mix-up on her end, and a few mistakes were made. Long story short I had to go before I got her name.” Carl conveyed the matter so casually that Asta could barely contain herself. Mix-Up. Mistakes. These were not the words to describe her goddess. Was it true, was this man Carl really not the chosen one? Before she could inquire more however, Mina spoke up. 

“Holy Carl, our Goddess’s name is Holy Lady Xanthas, bringer of light, love, beauty and harmony to all the world of Phantasiae.”

“Well thank you, Mina. And thank you High Priestess. I wish you all the very best. However, I think I’ll see myself out. It sounds like there is a lot to see in this city and I do want to find lodgings for the night.”

“Perhaps I can assist you Holy Carl.” Mina chimed in. 

Asta was spinning. Was this why the man, Carl, acted so differently than any other Chosen? Was he truly not a chosen one, but had only been in the presence of her deity. No that couldn’t be it, the goddess could never make a mistake like that. Right? A worrying doubt began to sink inside of her. I need to find out more. 

As she looked about to ask a follow up question to Carl, she discovered that he had disappeared with Mina by his side. 

“Your Holiness are you alright?” A priestess inquired. “As the Chosen One left you seemed to go into a trance.”

“I am alright child. It was just a moment's lapse.” Asta wasn’t ready to express her doubts as of yet. 

“Perhaps it was a vision brought on by the departing Chosen One your grace?” One of the excited priestess chimed in. The other girls began to faun and squeal with delight. 

“Yes. Perhaps.” She tried to conceal the trouble in her voice. “Perhaps.”