“Naw gunna lie,” Sigg opened. “I’m pretty sicken bout daMenu option.”
“Gutt told me it’s more like stew,” I emphasized. “Not fried critter.”
“Mus be,” Sig insisted. “Cause I don’ know of eeny snakes OR gators layin eggs near size o' those.”
“Bro, can’t you read? The substance is going to lend you, us, some type of superpower! Doesn't that alter your outlook?”
“I highly dowd wad hose instructionSay,” he squinted, with great concern. “Waay lemme guess - the Old man will have you believe eat.”
Apparently, the sigils weren’t translating for him. I had to play dumb. “Yeah, um, he reads Creole annndd, Babylonian.”
“Maybe starDean to add up,” he cracked. “I seize a lot of Babull!”
Pheo suddenly popped up like a weasel over Siggy’s shoulder. “Sneaking away with the cool shit, eh? Are those grenades?”
“Noo, these aren’t eggsactly stealth bombs,” I told her. “More like Souped up protein shakes.”
Sig puffed some confused breath: “How you soup up whas already Leak'quid?”
"We stir it with your flipper feet, Senior Ducksuit," I reasoned.
“I'll drink to that,” Pheo heaved.
“Nevure,” protested Siggy. “How can you be cooLike suckling on scaly... fossils?”
Pheo snorted. “As long as the BAM is worth the unease, you won’t see me backing away.” She leaned her tongue out at me, {nostalgically}. “Pyram knows how hardcore I can go.”
Somebody bumped into my leg before I could think of how much I was willing to acknowledge that. I jerked my eyes over & saw Trent still pretending to ride a Rocket, but Stock-still, staring down the box. “Ooh shiny. Are those bribes?”
I grinned. “No it’s a cocktail of intimidation.” Quickly, I grabbed the lid & clapped it back down over the carton. “I don’t exactly know how to whip 'em up, so I’ll be waiting un-” A squeal rang out across the room.
We all whipped our heads around. Buck was back to his clowning, delightfully pestering Rovone with the Saiga Mitts. “I gotta bone to pick with ya, MisTore!”
“Calm down, dimwit,” Rovo responded, unflinching.
But Gut launched himself away from the vicinity. “HOOLLLDDIT RighThere, Green Hair!” our Superior exploded. “Didn’t I tell you not to aim any thing at any one?”
Buck turned and guffawed at him like a donkey, innocently reporting, “At’s okay Sir, I ain’t rally got no bone tuh pick wit’tim. But I need me a punchin’ bag right quick-like.” With that he raised the Pair of Steel Cudgels over head and chanted: “HOO-ha ChA-KA!” but didn’t get to finish the next couple grunts as he clacked them together.
A sound like a MonsTruck running over a dumpster smashed into our ears, slinging Buck’s arms down with wrenching motion. Rovo crouched back from the sonic boom as if he were no larger than the rest of us ~ Dudley toppled back onto his neck into the wooden floor beams.
“Numbnuts!” labeled Dallas. “Daredevil," rejoined Trent, shaking his head.
Pheo & Siggy ran to check if Buck was gonna be able to get up. When he did arise, she slapped his chest fairly hard. He reached out and started to tickle her, to which she writhed away, and Siggy interposed the butt of the AK to help her clear out.
When Malibu spoke again his voice was wispy and wavering. “Those boxer gloves are made of synthetic materials that carry anatomic momentum up to nearly fiffy times the Force. Should never have let Pyram talk me into that one.” He paused and squinted around with his bare face. “Where’d he go anyway?”
“Not far,” I acknowledged, still guarding my eggs about 4 meters away.
“Hotwheels,” Buck driveled, as he limply searched for one Steel Mitt that has skipped away. “Guinness Book just missed out awn a world Reckon oFifty high*fives in a nano Say-kant - now can’t neva be broken fer the speed of it!”
Rovo toed at the lonely Chromatic Glove. “Someone more responsible should be packing these soldiers. I’d pick myself, except I’m amped about Doming an Ice Rink around a living soul instead.”
Gutterson added, “And someone brave enough for close-range Combat.”
I chimed. “Well that rules out Dalweed!” - He slit his throat silently at me.
Pheo offered, “I’d brandish ’em if I didn’t prefer staring between the edges of a trigger.”
Nobody else spoke for it, so Buck scooped them back to his stomach. “Daddy knows love at first Size.”
This story originates from Royal Road. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there.
“Hat’s perFuck,” Siggy kneWiser than argue. “Limits frien'ly fiore.” Then he addressed Malibu: “Hey, can you Gut me out some rounds for dis Rifole?” Our Commander pointed at the sack and told him to fish for the largest magazine available.
“Now let’s get to the News that counts, kids.” spouted our Commander. “In case y’all get shot at, we brought some very special tools to minimize the jeopardy.”
I patted my babies. “Hopefully you’re referring to a heavy Recipe of scrambled eggs?” I suggested.
“Ah, ya beat me to the punch,” he happily admitted. “Let’s mosey on over to the Bar cabinets and pick our proteins. By the way; don’t forgeTake the scepter there by the cot.” (Sigg had enough hands to fetch). Then the seven of us paraded out of the room, as everyone wondered exactly what the term ’Recipe’ would involve.
When we got out to the counter I plopped the Draconic carton down, where everyone observed Malibu waltz behind the bar island, and then open a cabinet labled ’Hemlock.’ The pantry swung out, revealing a set of beakers. Sequentially, he rotated back and forth between there and the bar, over time spreading beside the egg carton, three squat containers with lids, & a rack of 5 narrow beakers with measurement lines. The short ones contained syrupy liquid.
From a different cupboard, he grabbed a small mixing bowl and dropper. Then Gutt reached inside the box itself, withdrawing utensils necessary for peeling petrified shells. After placing them down, one by one he retrieved jars of various ingredients. Finally, everything was set in reach for the Brewing process, and Gutterson stopped arranginGleaming tools.
Blindly he dipped hands into the crate, pursuing a specimen. When his hand reappeared, it produced a magenta egg with a few neon caramel flecks, which he temporarily suspended for all the group to behold its majesty. The puzzling glyphs encircling the shell seemed to shimmer, before swiftly condensing. The reading became familiar, & then recognizable english: Field of Phobia.
DallaSpluttered aversion* spooking white as the clatteRemnants of the Loot Sack slipped from his clutch -- “That shit’s been supernaturally charmed!”
Trent grinned at Ca-Phony from a stool cushion and flung, “Hey, does anyone feel like a Sorcerer yet?”
The rest of us chuckled in unison.
I ribbed, “Seems that the terror’s already begun.”
Buck howled, “Whoops, I fear lil baby aig is tel’pathic. Watch the skies; may git stormed by Mama dragon or papa Gryffin!”
That put a larger charge through the group, even into Gutterson, and bodies suddenly glowed with spastic excitement.
Pheo hatched, “Don’t certainly rule out a Phoenix.”
The Dick'tater backed into the nearest wall. “Y’all treat it like a joke, but you never know what practitioners might attract.”
Rovo leaned on the bar. “Technically, chemistry in our schools today, branch off roots from ancient Alchemy. Superstition’s been cut out - so there’s no reason to treat it like occult affairs.”
Behind him, sister chipped in, “Right, it’s grown quite refined since the 20th century.”
Teeth frowned - disturbed, & un’assuaged. “Never seen any science demo wild as that. You bunch of pricks are amassing bad karma!” he hissed. “I give no approval to these divinations, & wash my hands.” He proceeded to stare toward the ceiling and perform the sign of the Cross over his chest.
Then Siggy leaned closer, to admit his own shock. “What duz... Scribbling say thar?” he was afraid to ask. “I juSee gibberish bunch of seem'Bowls.”
Gutterson tilted his head and mused. “Ah, you have an issue of assuming that energy forms are only stationary and palpable, boy. Your disbelief is repelling the reception. Remember microScopes alone show how far reality balloons beyond the tangible.”
Sigmund's eyelids prickled with irritation, and I sorta felt bad for my pal. At the least it had to be a tough FOMO experience for him. “If someone were to explain factors behinda source, i comprehend," he claimed. "But I swear it simpee looks like a neon stamp.” He shook his head blearily, trying to absolve the tension. “Anyway, go ahead. Wad ingredients help it gain poWar?”
At this, everyone eyed the multitude of supplies in anticipation. Gutterson cleared his throat. ”BasiLizards (or dinosaurs) have potential for several inherent abilities. They have a wide mineral-diversity structure, allowing them to be adept at elemenTalll...” he glanced at the Dictator, not wishing to startle him further. “Allurement.”
“Dinosaurrzz,” Trent breathed, infatuated.
Malibu smiled and continued. “To each ability, requires a particular ingredient that can symbolically correspond. For fear-based, anything from uncertain places are fitting - representing suppressed stimulus. For this, I prefer to draw from the belly of the Sea; I have coral with me.”
“Soon to be quarrel,” Capone muttered. Everyone ignored him.
“That means before we can blend,” Malibu resumed. “We must perform two sets of shaving.” He positioned the purple egg to consult a serrated disk thing, like the bulb of a spoon or gourd. Then the egg was twisted about 3 times. Shell grounds fell into a small compartment below the razors. Next he disjointed the cup, and then hunted the assortment of jars for the coral, which revealed to be dark blue. He unscrewed the canister, unearthed a small grater, and rubbed off as much coral to eggshell ratio, and let it descend to mingle as one powder. From there, he deposited into the small mixer bowl, and reattached the cuplet to the grinding disk.
He then selected one of the flasks of brown liquid. As Gutt peeled back the lid he educated: “Now this sauce is vital to soften cold-blooded intricacies into mammalian edibility. This substance is created from two plants native to the southeast hemisphere - those being CinnaMoon kelp & ginger beans.”
He quickly snatched the dropper and poked the nozzle down into the contents; when he squeezed and released, the tube extracted floating chunks. Gutter lay the utensil flat on his palm and offered it before us. “So who’d like the potential to upend your enemy with angst and paranoia?”
We heard a sharp rustling among the egg crate, before anyone decided to answer. Dudley’s slimy hair was spelunking the depths of the bin, and resounded from within: “C’mon now, that ain’t no honourable attack - that’s a non-committed cheat code.” Buck returned, hauling a green-red checkered egg into view. “Acid Reflexin’ here sounz like it fits me more swell.”
Gutt sighed. “Sure, but Acid-kind requires a double portion of the Ginger-kelp sauce, and we haven’t finished the initial lesson we started. The individual who wishes to claim a potion, must be the one to merge the cocktail, so that it bind with their Soullight curTent.”
We twitched as a crew, blitzed with perplexity by this pinnacle tenant of esoteric nature. But any deeper questions were upended as we were shaken by a Swarm of plowing behind us, against the front doors. That was probably our backup unit. Except the vibe didn’t settle well with me. Why were the knocks beating so urgently numerous? They should have been here while Gutt & i were in the stomachs of RECONdite material
“I’ll get it!” Both the Tyrant & I volunteered. He glowered at me and took off sprinting alongside the living room pit, across the tiles toward the Nuthouse welcome mat. I decided to trail him even though I wouldn’t be there first, as I was rather fond of Greetings. Approaching revealed the Door heaving unDuress hectic, as if hyperventilating to breathe.
“Hey ease up there,” I advised the unseen party. “We hear ya!”