(Food Court)

I was actually breathing heavily. Me. A vampire. Breathing heavily. Ok, so it was more psychosomatic than anything, a sign of mental fatigue rather than physical, but still. Fucking terrorists. I looked around at my little makeshift zombie-fighting brigade. Me, a super by the name of Thadulator who had strength-type powers, and a group of off-duty cops and firefighters. The other entrances to the food court were similarly blockaded. Out of thousands who had been in attendance, I’d be surprised if the survivors numbered more than a few hundred at this time.

We were resting for the moment, between waves of zombies, so I looked at the rest of my pickup team. “Good work, all of you. I know this isn’t what you were hoping for when you decided to go to the ballgame, but you’ve done one helluva job so far. Remember, all those people behind us are counting on us to hold the line here until help arrives.”

Thadulator shook his head. “We’re just lucky your healing power works on zombie bites, Vampy. We’d all be fucked if it wasn’t for that.” The villain was a big bruiser, but he wasn’t as stupid as he looked, not by a long shot.

One of the APD guys nodded. “And why don’t they seem to be going for you? Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad they aren’t keeping you from healing us, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t wish there was another target for them to try gnawing on instead of me. I’m allergic to being eaten.”

I shrugged at the question, though I had a few guesses. “Probably because I’m the prettiest talking corpse you’re ever gonna see? Word is that Incende over on the main entrance to the food court is experiencing the same thing. He… she… it? Anyway, Incende is a fire elemental of some type, from another plane. If these things are ignoring the two of us, then it is likely they’re only keying on living humans. But while she can hold that whole corridor with her powers, I’m more of a single-target kind of gal, and half my powers and skills don’t work on these things.”

One of the firefighters chuckled. “Damn, didn’t think there was anyone who could stand up to you, V. You pretty much stomped half of Southern Pride all on your own, right?”

I winked at the man, continuing the banter despite the fact that no one really wanted to talk about that, or anything else. But it was talk or sit there and think about the shitty situation we were in, so it was simple to see which one was better for morale. “Well, I had a bit of help, but it helped that Southern Pride was too busy thinking with their dicks when they were thinking at all, so they kept underestimating a little woman like me.”

The other cop chuckled as she looked back away from the hallway we were guarding. “And how did that work out for them.”

I grinned. “Well, I’m still here, and the others are all dead, or in some other dimension. So I’m going to say that I got the better end of that deal.”

Thadulator grunted. “If’n we can get these civvies out of here then maybe you and Incende can go try and burn the tree down while the rest of us go keep the zombies from getting out of here.”

I had been considering that, actually. Short of nuking the tree, it was the best bet we had. “Unfortunately, there’s no way of knowing if the tree is better at threat detection than the zombies are.”

The first cop snorted. “It is a fucking tree. What the hell is it going to see you with?”

“And these are plant-based zombies that are wandering around. Half of them don’t have eyes any more. How are they seeing you to line you up like a buffet? How are the vines around the building eating cars and turning them into weapons and armor for the zombies? For that matter, like I said I’m a walking corpse that gets all kinds of uncomfortable in the sun, and needs to drink blood to survive. There’s nothing scientific about how that works out. Magic makes science sit at the kids’ table while the adults are talking.”

TechSupport: Ride incoming! Have a target in the middle of the food court. It’ll take a bit to set up the portal to get these people out, though.

Unauthorized reproduction: this story has been taken without approval. Report sightings.

I looked up from the screen of my communicator, and said, “All right, folks. The Web Mistress herself is coming down in the food court so she can set up a portal device that should let us get all the people out, but it needs to be set up. Since we’re dealing with magic, don’t count on things staying—” I was cut off by a lot of screaming sounds, definitely not human. I could ‘See’ the vines animating the zombies, and they were moving in our direction. ALL of them. “—quiet. Fuck it, that pissed them off. Everyone get ready, we’ve got massive incoming, all sides!”

I cursed as I saw the zombies charging us. Shit, there were way too many of them to hold off normally. “Fall back to the barricade!” We’d managed to close security barriers to the Food Court, but that wouldn’t keep the zombies out for long if they were all pressing on it, trying to get to the fleshy humans inside, so we’d reinforced it quickly by getting Thadulator to stack concrete slabs against it. We then used a side office that connected around the security grate to get in and out. This was our choke point, where we could hold them off if it got too hot in the open. And we didn’t have the right weapons to really make use of the choke point effectively, since everyone was melee.

But when the choice was ineffective choke point or death, things got real simple, real fast. So we fell back to the choke point. The rest of them took positions in the room, behind cover or other hastily made barricades with the room’s furniture. I stood openly in the doorway, sword unsheathed. I was pretty much the only one who could possibly survive these fuckers if they were in a frenzy, so I got to be the doorstop.

The screaming zombies crashed into the security grate like some kind of unholy green wave, and then turned towards the door I was standing in. Or, more precisely, the door the living souls were standing behind. There were forty-thousand people at the stadium today, and a significant portion of that crowd was coming our way. But I had the advantage of ‘invisibility’ to these zombies. I was dead, so they didn’t see me. While it made it difficult to keep their attention on me, it also meant that I could use my vampiric strength to hold them back while the others took shots with their weapons, knocking zombie heads off. It was not the best of plans, but it was the only one we had right now.

(Elsewhen)

Three forms were sprawled in a heap on the grass, in a place that was far to rustic and pristine for the presence of three costumed superheroes.

“Oooh, my aching head! Where did you take us, Doc?” A female voice spoke from roughly the middle of the pile. Temptress took in the situation. Nobody around, the form of Doctor Unusual beneath her, the weight of Verdant Hermit pressing into her from above, and chuckled. “You know, if you wanted to play, you could have just asked nicely.”

Doctor Unusual grumbled from the weight on top of him, and perhaps in a bit of ‘discomfort’ from the sensual curves of Temptress who he was now keenly aware of. Still, he ignored her last question, and said, “It isn’t so much a case of ‘where’, so much as ‘when’. I was rushed, and didn’t account for the power of the exploding ritual. We ended up going a good deal further in time than I wished.”

Verdant Hermit groaned from the top of the pile. “And when are we, Doctor? And do we have time for a nap before we go back? I do believe this forest has never been touched by man.”

“It bloody well shouldn’t, since man hasn’t evolved yet. We’re sometime in the mid-Cretaceous period. Fortunately, I do know how to get us back to our proper time, but we will have to be careful in the past not to leave anything behind or-r-r-r ugh! Temptress, what are you doing?”

“I would think that is very obvious, to a Doctor. You see, my hand is moving down, inside your pants, and now I’m gripping your—”

“Ah! I know what you’re doing, but why?”

“Because all that magic made me hungry, and you two are the only snacks around, unless you want to see some demon on dino action. Plus, I picked up a new ability after the Battle of Atlanta. We’re all fatigued and hurt, yes? The backlash from that energy hitting our shields isn’t doing any of any favors, hmm?”

Doctor Unusual was having trouble saying anything coherent without betraying his currently less-than-stoic demeanor, so Verdant Hermit coughed lightly, and said, “What is your point, Temptress.”

“Well, my new ability is called ‘Sexual Healing’. Now Verdy, unless you have some other reason for playing with my tail, I can feel you pressing against my booty, and I can tell that Doc here is ‘up’ for the challenge, so why don’t you two be good boys and help me heal you, hmm?”

“Well, Doc?”

“I –ugh—I surrender! Horny wench. I need time to recover before I attempt to get us back to the proper time, anyway.”

“Aw, Doc that’s the nicest thing anyone’s said to me in hours!” And then the sorcerer’s grumbling was silenced by a succubus attempting to put her tongue down his throat.

(Food Court)

The onslaught continued for what felt like hours, but was probably only a few minutes. Still, I could hear the others breathing heavily, and the sheer weight of the crowd was starting to force me back into the doorway of the office. Gritting my teeth, I was about to order them back to the other door, where there’d be less pressure from the crowd, but that might bring them down on the security gate, and then we’d have the whole horde to fight, while trying to keep them from getting to the civilians. I would live, but the others wouldn’t.

TechSupport: Portal up and running. Emergency shield set up to keep the zombies from getting into the server. Civilians evacuating now.

I grunted, not having the time to respond to the message. If the civvies were evacuating, then it wouldn’t be long before Web Mistress would be back online, calling for the others to retreat. But if everyone left, then no one would be able to approach the Tree and see if there was a way to chop it down.

Finally, the message I had been hoping for came through.

TechSupport: Civilians out! All defense teams, get moving!

BloodRaven: Negative. Everyone else out. Incende, to my position when the others are out. We’re the only two the zombies aren’t trying to eat, so we’re the only choice for trying to stop that damn tree short of sending in the Air National Guard to firebomb it. And I don’t think anyone likes the idea of calling down an air strike on their own city.

Fireman: Understood.

TechSupport: I won’t be able to come get you so close to the tree, you know.

BloodRaven: I know. But it has to be done.

I looked at the rest of my team. “Get moving. And when you see an embodiment of living flame moving the other way, point him my way. Incende and I have a date with a tree.”