Hi, my name’s Josh -- well -- it was when this whole adventure began. Nevermind that for now; all will be explained in time. To say that the account contained in these pages is an unusual one is a gross understatement of this bizarre and utterly disturbing fable. To most, the story will seem both heroic and horrific at the same time. It is a grand tale of adventure, but not your trope-filled fantasy with brave adventurers and mysterious wizards banding together against an evil force to save the world. The story I am about to unravel isn’t for the faint of heart and it's certainly not for anyone who can be offended by the written word. This story is one of romance, magic and adventure, a tale of epic proportions. However, this story is not all However, this story is not all friendly rainbow bears or teenage flying unicorns. Unfortunately, my tale also involves gratuitous violence and graphic sexual encounters -- consensual or otherwise. This story will contain deeds of malicious villainy. The worst part is, much of these immoral acts are committed by yours truly. This is your final warning reader. If you can’t handle detailed descriptions of cannibalism and sexual violence, toss this book in your fireplace and forget it ever existed. If you proceed any further, you will be offended.
For most of my life, I’ve considered myself an okay guy. I was never really violent, I tended to do my homework most of the time, I would help my mother out around the house with chores, I played video games with my sisters and I probably complained about it a little bit less than your average teen. Despite having a modestly positive view of myself, I was never really a confident kid.
Sometime in early grade school, I decided sports wasn’t going to be my thing and instead fell into nerdier hobbies. I enjoyed all forms of science, played very complicated math-oriented games and spent a few summers camping with my friends. Well, when I say camping, the truth is that my buddies and I would dress up in some old fashioned costumes we bought at the local renaissance faire and would run around the wilderness pretending to be wizards and knights on a grand adventure. Yes, I was a LARPer. But, trust me, don’t knock it till you’ve tried it.
The little clique I fell into certainly wouldn’t have helped me win any popularity contests. Yet, our little gang of geeks tended to be left alone. Although none of us would ever have a chance standing up to any of the jocks on our own, we tended to stick together. When someone decides to start something, we banded together to make them know we weren't easy pickings in school. Those who were not in our little gang tended to get the brunt of the bullying and, unfortunately, not one of us was really willing to stick our necks out either. However, on occasion, we’d find out where one of the assholes live and pelt their house with eggs or put a fake school notice in their mailbox to piss off their parents. It felt good to get some revenge, but it never really solved any problems. Sometimes, it made them much worse.
Anyways, I’m getting off-topic. I’m not really here to tell you the story of my high school days. Nope, this isn’t your typical coming of age story. This is a story about my adventures in a land separated from the suburban wasteland where I grew up. One might say it was out of this world. But before I get there, I feel like I should start where all the craziness began, my last summer at home. Yet, before we even get into that I suppose I should tell you a bit about my family. Although they don’t play a big part in the story, I feel like it will help put things into perspective.
I suppose we should start with the beloved matriarch of my family, Margot. My mother is the best, she’s smart, creative, kind and, for her age, quite beautiful. My mom has been through many hardships in her life. She grew up an only child in a home where neither of her parents paid much attention to her. My grandfather had left when she was young and my grandmother, despite being around, wasn’t quite available. When I was born, my mother must have been overcompensating for her parents’ failures. It wasn’t soon after that she became pregnant again, this time with twin girls. It wasn’t far off base to say that my mother spoiled us with affection. Unfortunately, soon after my sisters were born that our father passed away. My sisters and I were so young when this happened, that we never really felt the loss ourselves, but my mother always told me how much I looked like him as I got older.
The coolest thing about my mother is that she is a professional writer. A best-selling fiction novelist that was able to make a decent living even with the burden of raising three kids on her own. Because of her success, we were able to afford a decent and comfortable life in a safe suburb. If it wasn’t for the loss of our father, it would have been her dream. Yet, even with his absence, my mother never revealed to us any grief over the loss. To my sisters and I, our mother was a beacon of positivity that always encouraged us to be better.
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That brings us to my sisters. The twins, Genny and Clarrisa are probably more of a product of my influences than my mother, but she should certainly get some credit for how they are. My sisters are geniuses. Always ahead in their classes, pushing the limits of their education and miles ahead of everyone in the school. Although I attribute their genius to my mother, their hobbies and chosen career paths are what I take full credit for. If it wasn’t for me being such a massive geek, I doubt my sisters would be into video games as much as they are. It's not just playing that they love, but are really involved in every aspect. They love programming, graphic design, sound, cosplay, conventions, and esports. Pretty much everything geeky associated with video games, they’re into it. Because of this, when I last saw them, they were currently awaiting their inevitable acceptance letters into university. Other than their love for games, they also occasionally joined my friends and me in our LARPing. In fact, it was because of them that our LARPing became more than just romping around in the woods. They actually developed a little system of rules to make things a little more fun. Okay, with those brief introductions out of the way, I think it's time for me to get to where this all started.
It was during summer vacation after school was out that it all really began. It was one of our last summers together as a family for a long time and my mother really wanted it to be something special. Since my sisters and I had already planned on going camping the week prior to our meeting up with our friends for the next LARP, we decided that we should make it a family trip. My mother said she was working on a surprise for the three of us, but it meant she would have to work a little during the trip. She also decided to rent a nice camper so that we didn’t have to rough it so much.
The trip started out wonderfully. Prior to us arriving, our mother had reserved a camping spot deep in the wilderness upstate. The location we drove to was just off a small gravel road that led up a fairly high mountain. All of us were quite surprised when we got there. The view at the site was pretty incredible. The camping site my mother picked out was on top of a steep cliffside and although we were completely surrounded by the forest on all sides, it was just under eye level of the tall trees. It was really quite breathtaking.
After we had the camper parked, it was already late in the afternoon. I got to work straight away, setting up a simple fire pit. Then we spent the rest of the night relaxing and having fun. I roasted up some sausages while my mother told us stories. Later on, we made up some smores while my sisters set up a fun board game they had brought along for us to play. When the stars came out after twilight, we all sat and listened to my favorite tunes I had stored on my cell phone. We stayed up rather late into the night just enjoying the mellow atmosphere.
Once we were all completely tuckered out, we gathered in the comfortable camper in our respective beds and settled down for the night. That is all except for our dear mother. When us kids were ready for a pleasant night's rest, our mother had set up a desk light and her laptop at the small dining table upfront and got busy writing. When our mother had ideas in her head, she never let them go until they were on paper, metaphorically speaking. As often as my sisters and I tried, it was always a lost cause to try and pry her away. So instead of ruining the great first night we had together, neither I nor my sisters bothered to object with her working. Instead, my sisters closed themselves in the larger room with the single bed and I climbed up into the loft compartment that was over the driver and passenger seats. With my mom typing away at her laptop, I thought it would be hard to get to sleep. But after being up so late, it didn’t take long for me to fall into a deep slumber.
I wasn’t quite sure what happened after that. I think I remember my mother giving me a kiss goodnight at some point. I’m not sure how I ended up in this new place. All I know is that was the last time I saw my family. Thinking back on it now, it almost feels like the life I was forced to leave behind was nothing more than a long vivid dream. Considering how much time has passed since that night, the bizarre sights I’ve witnessed and the unbelievable acts I’ve committed, my old life feels so unimportant. Despite that fact, my mind refuses to let go of those nostalgic memories. Nearly every night I dream of their faces, the three women in my life who were so important to me back then. As much as I wonder if they miss me, I hope they’ve all moved on from my unusual disappearance.
Sometimes I yearn for a time when my life was much simpler. I wonder how life could have been different if I hadn’t arrived in this place. I wonder if my mother would have incorporated my disappearance into her inevitable memoirs. Would my sisters dedicate their first video game to me? My mother was always strong and independent; I’m certain my sisters took after her. I’m sure the three of them got along just fine without me.