Chapter 22: A Winter's Refuge.

The cold air had settled in, frosting the tips of the trees and making each breath hang in the air like whispers of the changing season. Ava sat on the porch of the cabin, her blanket pulled tightly around her, shielding her from the biting chill. Her gaze drifted over the snow-covered landscape, but her thoughts were far away, lost somewhere between the battle that almost claimed her life and the present moment.

Jess sat beside her, quietly sketching in her pad. The sound of the pencil scratching across the paper was the only sound between them for a long time. Jess, though focused on her drawing, was all too aware of the tension that seemed to cling to Ava like a second skin.

After a while, Jess spoke up, her voice gentle but direct. "Ava, I know something's bothering you. Do you want to talk about it?"

Ava shifted slightly in her seat, tightening the blanket around her shoulders. "I'm fine," she said softly, though the edge in her voice betrayed her.

Jess didn’t press immediately, letting the silence stretch between them again. Her pencil continued to move, capturing the outlines of the trees and the cabin, her focus seemingly elsewhere. But after another moment, she spoke again, more persistent this time. "You know, the market traders keep asking where their favorite Ronin is. They miss you. We all do. Even Eli... he's worried he's going to say the wrong thing every time you're together."

Ava's gaze stayed on the distant horizon. "It's just... hard, Jess," she muttered, her voice thick with unspoken emotion. "I feel like I'm still there—like I'm still in that battle, fighting for my life."

Jess nodded, though Ava couldn’t see it. She set her pencil down, turning her full attention to her friend. "Talon told me what happened... how close it was. He thought you were gone, Ava. He was terrified."

Ava’s expression hardened at the mention of Talon. "I know. I saw it in his eyes. But I made it back, didn’t I? I'm still here."

Jess reached out, her hand resting on Ava’s arm. "You are, but are you really? You've been pulling away from everyone, shutting us out. We’re all worried about you—Talon, Eli, even Miko. Everyone."

Ava stood abruptly, letting the blanket fall from her shoulders. "I don’t need anyone worrying about me, Jess. I’m fine. I survived." Her voice cracked slightly as she spoke, betraying the strength she was trying to project.

Jess remained calm, watching her friend pace. "Surviving isn’t the same as living, Ava. You can be here and still be lost." Her words hung in the air between them, filled with a truth that Ava didn’t want to acknowledge.

Ava stopped, her back to Jess. "I’m not lost," she whispered, but there was no conviction in her words.

Jess rose, walking over to her. She placed a gentle hand on Ava’s shoulder, squeezing lightly. "You don’t have to do this alone, Ava. We’re here for you, and we’re not going anywhere."

For a moment, Ava stood there, her body tense, before she shook her head and pulled away. "I just... need to be alone for a while," she said, her voice softer now, almost pleading.

Jess nodded, stepping back, giving her space. "I understand. Just remember, whenever you're ready, we’re all here waiting."

Without another word, Ava turned and walked off into the woods. Jess watched her go, her heart heavy with worry. She knew Ava was battling demons she couldn’t see, and she wasn’t sure if her friend would be able to win this particular fight on her own.

Ava walked for what felt like hours, her mind racing as fast as her heart. The cold air bit at her skin, but she barely noticed. Her thoughts were louder than the crunch of snow underfoot, louder than the wind that whipped through the trees. She found herself by the river, the place where she always seemed to end up when she needed to think.

She sat on the frozen bank, watching the water rush by, its steady current a stark contrast to the turmoil inside her. Time passed slowly, and the chill began to seep into her bones, making her shiver.

Eventually, she stood, realizing she had been gone longer than she intended. The sky was beginning to darken, and she knew she had to get back to the cabin before the cold became unbearable. As she walked, her mind was still far from settled, but a small part of her felt a little lighter, like the weight of her thoughts had lifted just slightly.

When she reached the cabin, she was greeted by the warmth of the fire and the smell of something cooking. Talon was at the stove, stirring a pot. He glanced over his shoulder as she entered.

"Blondie, I know I told you to go for a walk, but next time, take a coat with you. And don’t leave Jess like that," he scolded gently, though there was no real anger in his tone.

Ava didn’t respond at first, simply shrugging off her boots and hanging up her cloak. She glanced around the room and her eyes fell on the mantelpiece. Jess’s drawing from earlier was propped up there, a sketch of Ava sitting on the pouch. It was beautiful, capturing the serenity of the moment she hadn’t even realized she’d had.

A pang of guilt tugged at her heart, and she sighed softly. "I’ll apologize to her tomorrow," she said quietly.

Talon nodded, satisfied. "Good. Now, help me set the table. Eli’s coming over soon."

A few hours later the soft glow of the fire filled the cabin as Ava, Talon, and Eli sat down to dinner. Outside, the frost-covered landscape was a stark reminder of the season’s grip, but inside, Talon’s hearty cooking and lively chatter made the room feel warm and alive. Ava sat quietly, her plate untouched, while Talon and Eli carried the conversation.

Talon, as usual, was in high spirits, recounting one of his endless tall tales. “So, there I was, in the middle of nowhere, not a single friendly face for miles, and guess who pops up from behind a tree? Miko, with a smirk on his face and a knife in his hand like he’s about to carve me up!”

Unauthorized tale usage: if you spot this story on Amazon, report the violation.

Eli laughed, shaking his head. “And let me guess—you ran for your life?”

Talon grinned, slapping the table. “Ran? No chance! I told him if he was going to do me in, he’d better make it quick. Then he just hands me a flask and says, ‘You look like you need this more than I do.’” Talon shook his head, chuckling at the memory. “That man can get you out of any mess with a drink and a grin.”

The laughter between Talon and Eli filled the room, but Ava remained silent, staring down at her plate. Her mind was elsewhere, far from the camaraderie and light-heartedness of the moment.

Eli glanced at Ava, his smile faltering slightly when he noticed her distant expression. "Ava, you haven't touched your food. Are you alright?" he asked gently, reaching out to touch her hand.

Ava flinched slightly, pulling her hand away before she could stop herself. "I'm fine," she replied, her voice cold and distant. "Just... not hungry."

Talon, sensing the shift in the atmosphere, tried to ease the tension. “Come on, Blondie, you’ve got to eat something. This is my best work yet—don’t let it go to waste.”

Ava's jaw clenched as she stared down at the table, her emotions swirling inside her like a storm ready to break. Eli, ever patient, reached out again, his voice soft and full of concern. "Ava, we're just worried about you. We—"

"I said I’m fine!" Ava suddenly snapped, her voice sharp and cutting through the room like a knife. She stood up, the chair scraping harshly against the floor as she pushed it back. "Why can't you just leave me alone?"

Talon and Eli exchanged glances, the shock of her outburst hanging heavily in the air. Eli, visibly hurt, stood as well, his eyes pleading. "Ava, we’re just trying to help. We’re here for you—"

"I don’t need your help!" Ava shouted, her voice cracking with frustration. "I don’t need anyone’s help! I just need... I just need to be left alone!"

The weight of her words hung in the air as she turned and stormed off towards her room, her steps heavy and full of anger. The door slammed shut behind her, the sound echoing in the now-silent cabin.

Talon sat back in his chair, his usual lightheartedness gone as he sighed deeply, rubbing a hand over his face. “She’s not ready, Eli. She’s still healing, in more ways than one.”

Eli stood there for a moment, his hands clenched into fists at his sides. “I’ve been patient, Talon. I’ve tried to give her space, tried to be there for her, but... I don’t know how much more I can take. She pushes me away every time.”

Talon looked up at him, sympathy in his eyes. "I know, mate. Believe me, I do. But Ava’s always been like this. She fights her own battles, even when she shouldn’t. It’s just how she is."

Eli shook his head, his voice thick with emotion. "But I love her, Talon. I can’t keep standing here, watching her slip further and further away."

Talon stood, walking over to Eli and placing a reassuring hand on his shoulder. "She loves you too, Eli. I know she does. She’s just lost right now. Give her time."

Eli let out a bitter laugh, his eyes filled with frustration. "Time? How much more time am I supposed to give her, Talon? It feels like she doesn’t even want me here anymore."

Talon sighed again, his heart heavy with the weight of it all. “I can’t answer that, Eli. But I know one thing—you walking away won’t help her. She needs you, even if she can’t say it right now.”

Eli looked at him, his face a mix of sorrow and anger. "I don't know if I can keep doing this," he whispered, his voice barely audible.

Talon’s expression softened, his voice steady and calm. "I know, mate. But if you walk away now, you’ll regret it. She’s been through hell, and it’s not over yet. She needs you more than she’ll ever admit."

Eli swallowed hard, the pain of the situation clear on his face. "What do I do, Talon? How do I get through to her?"

Talon shook his head slowly. "I don’t know, Eli. But we’re not giving up on her, and neither should you."

For a moment, they stood in silence, the crackling fire the only sound in the room. Then, with a resigned sigh, Eli ran a hand through his hair and nodded. "Alright. I’ll give her space. But I won’t wait forever, Talon. She needs to figure this out."

Talon clapped him on the back. “That’s all you can do.”

Eli gave a final, weary nod before heading towards the door. "I’ll see you tomorrow, Talon. Thanks."

Talon watched him go, the door closing softly behind him. He stood there for a moment, the weight of the evening pressing heavily on him. With a deep breath, he turned and walked over to Ava’s door, knocking gently.

"Blondie? You know you’re going to push everyone away if you keep this up," he said quietly through the door. "I’m giving you space tonight, but... you’ve got to face this sooner or later."

There was no answer, but Talon hadn’t expected one. He sighed and turned away, heading back to the kitchen to clean up. The fire crackled softly behind him, casting flickering shadows on the walls as the cabin settled into an uneasy silence.

As the soft knock on the door faded and Talon’s footsteps retreated, Ava sat on the edge of her bed, her hands trembling in her lap. The silence in the room pressed in around her, amplifying the chaos in her mind. She clenched her fists, feeling the roughness of the scars on her hands, reminders of a battle that had scarred her in more ways than one.

Her breathing grew shallow, the weight of her thoughts pulling her under. Everything felt off, unsteady. Her body had healed, mostly. The scars on her skin were physical markers of survival, but inside, she felt fractured—like pieces of herself had been left behind on the battlefield.

She stood abruptly, pacing the small room, her mind racing. Memories of the Reclaimer war flooded her—gunfire, explosions, the brutal fight for survival. But what haunted her most was the moment she had nearly died. The moment she had seen Ethan, felt his presence, heard his voice.

*“Why didn’t you take me with you?”* The question echoed in her head, the familiar guilt wrapping around her heart like a vice. Ethan had been her mentor, her guide, and losing him had left a wound she hadn’t been able to heal. Now, after coming so close to death herself, she couldn’t shake the feeling that maybe she should have gone with him.

Her pacing quickened, her bare feet barely making a sound on the wooden floor. The firelight from the hearth flickered beneath the door, casting shadows that seemed to dance with the storm in her mind. Every step felt heavier than the last, every breath a struggle.

Ava pressed her hands to her temples, trying to quiet the noise. *What’s wrong with me?* She had faced death before, had fought in countless battles. But this time felt different. This time, something had shifted inside her.

The memory of Ethan’s voice, his steady reassurance, was a balm she couldn’t hold onto. *He told me to fight, told me it wasn’t my time.* But why did it feel like she had lost a part of herself in that moment? Why did it feel like the person who had returned from the Reclaimer war wasn’t the same Ava who had left?

Tears stung her eyes, but she blinked them away, refusing to let them fall. She couldn’t be weak. Not now. Not ever. But the weight of it all—the pressure of being the strong one, the unyielding warrior—was crushing her. She didn’t know how to be anything else, didn’t know how to let go of the armor she had built around herself.

Her hands traced the scar near her breast, the one that had almost killed her. The pain had been unbearable, the darkness so close. *I should have died.* The thought whispered through her mind before she could push it away. *It would have been easier.*

But then there was Talon. And Miko. And Jess. And even Eli. They were still here, still fighting, still depending on her. She couldn’t leave them. She couldn’t abandon them, no matter how much the darkness inside her whispered that it would be easier to give up.

Ava stopped pacing, standing in front of the window, staring out at the frosty landscape. The cold bit at the glass, but inside, the fire crackled softly, a small reminder that warmth still existed, that life still carried on. She wanted to feel that warmth again, to feel like herself again. But right now, all she felt was hollow.

She let out a shaky breath, her voice barely a whisper, “Ethan, why didn’t you take me with you?” The words hung in the air, unanswered, like they always were.

For the first time in a long time, Ava felt truly lost. The path ahead was unclear, shrouded in doubt and fear. And the fight within her, the one no one else could see, was a battle she wasn’t sure she could win.