Kie returned to the capital and resumed following the emperor's orders. Meanwhile, Acy waited at home for him.
Yen, a blue-eyed, moss-haired confidante of Acy and hater of Kie. Once wondered why Acy never gave up on Kie but then he discovered that it was Kie who never let Acy give up. Kie would come back and give Acy false hope, then leave again. This time the same had occurred. He didn’t think it was fair. It wasn’t fair.
“Are you not going to cry anymore?” Yen questioned.
“I won’t. He said he’d return, so I should sit idly.” responded Acy. Acy wasn’t sure why they trusted Kie so deeply, it felt right. They felt they had to. It was okay, they told themselves that it was just false hope, just some false hope to look forward to. Still, at that point, they weren’t sure if it was false hope. Perhaps it could’ve been real.
Yen felt it was messed up how comfortable Acy looked saying such bullshit. He didn’t get it. How could someone be so attached? He’d never know, he never got the time to ask.
“You can’t trust him, Acy. He abandoned you for years. He can do it again.” Yen affirmed.
“He wouldn’t! He promised this time.” Yelped Acy.
They told themselves that it was just false hope, just false hope, false hope. Yet how many times did they have to repeat to themselves that they’d never be happy? Why couldn’t they be happy? It wasn’t fair.
“Acy. Please just let him go, he’s not good for you. He makes you cry and it’s just so hurtful to see you cry, unable to do anything.” Yen knew Acy wouldn’t agree but it was worth a try. Yen thought that perhaps someday he would have convinced Acy to let go. Someday.
That someday was cut short. Acy didn’t learn to let go, they couldn’t. They whined and whined, telling Yen that they couldn’t let Kie go. They didn’t understand why they were so miserable. Why couldn't they be happy or why the Gods had blessed them with nothing but unhappiness?
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They felt it was unfair. They cried and cried but no one else could help, all they did was cry with them. They thought that the Gods indeed chuckled from above. They couldn’t see how anyone could live this way. How could they keep living this way? The thing is, they didn’t. They closed their eyes one day and hung themselves dry. Finally, they thought that it was fair. The Gods had blessed them with death and in the end closure. They didn’t have to think about letting go anymore. They could finally rest.
Yen couldn’t do anything, all he could do was watch. Watch as their friend hung as they couldn’t let go. He also didn’t think it was fair. It wasn’t fair that Kie had never given Acy closure, how it wasn’t fair that the Gods never responded to his prayers. How now he’s the one who is alone. Another one left by the Gods to hang dry. That’s what they both did in the end, they hung dry. Yen felt it was nice to hang dry together so in some way they both didn’t perish alone.
—-
Kie was following orders. He traveled, digging tombs wherever he went. He didn’t enjoy it. The thing he loathed the most was when Acy drifted around his memories. He loathed that. He didn’t comprehend why Acy was in his head, or who gave them the right to be in his head.
“Fucking hell,” He muttered. He couldn’t forget Acy. He used to do it effortlessly, he could overlook it all but now more often than ever he remembers them. A constant reminder of the one he left behind, the one stuck in his mind. He simply wanted to forget.
All the soldiers turned and glanced at their captain. These curse words astounded them. It was an emotion their captain rarely showed. Words he rarely used.
Kie overlooked the stares and resumed marching. Despite this, he couldn’t rid Acy of his mind. The memories kept flooding, so much as his concern for Acy’s well-being.
Evidently, the Gods were listening; at that moment a letter arrived. The last one. When Kie opened it, he broke down. Losing all the cool-headedness he had. At that moment he looked back at the memories, his feelings, his regrets, everything. He thought that now he was lost but he had always been lost. Why did it take him so much time to notice? He wondered why the Gods were so unfair. Why couldn't he have been given a better ability, one where Acy would still be breathing? He doesn’t like the Gods but this one time he hoped that he could blame them for his incompetence. Rid himself of some guilt and try to forget that he was at fault. What else could he do now? He lost his purpose. He lost them. There was nothing left in this treacherous world. No God would have listened to his prayers, the Gods abandoned them long ago. In the end with his favored weapon, he sliced himself, ridding himself of life. Possibly, in the afterlife, reincarnation, perhaps then he’ll meet Acy again. Would he love them? Would they be happy this time? He didn’t think about this, he simply felt agony and wanted to see them again. The future will tell in the end. Whether the Gods will bless them with happiness.