3rd May 2024—

As I sit here in the stifling classroom, the rows of desks stretch out like a monotonous army, each one bearing the scars of countless students who've come before. The harsh, unforgiving light of the fluorescent fixtures above bathes the room in a pallid, soul-sucking glow. It accentuates the wear and tear on the desks and chairs, a reminder of the countless hours spent in this dreary place.

In this dimly lit sanctuary of education, my mind drifts into contemplation, the rhythmic clatter of distant footsteps fading into the background.

What could I’ve have changed?

What could I have done differently?

What would my life be like if I had?

Questions swarmed my mind like flies on shit, relentless and persistent. The reality I was entrenched in felt unbearably harsh, and for what seemed like an eternity, I had been pondering over things I could do to change my circumstances. Yet, with each passing moment, the futility of it all became increasingly apparent.

Nothing in this life is permanent. The changes I yearned for, the actions I contemplated to steer my life towards a brighter future, would likely yield fleeting results at best. It was a bitter realization, The fleeting nature of happiness weighed heavily on my mind, casting a shadow over any semblance of hope.

It wouldn’t matter in the end, I realized, as I'd inevitably find myself right back where I started. My mind felt like an abyss, drawing me deeper with every thought, plunging me into a bottomless pit of nothingness. Until I became nothing.

Being human meant craving something more, something different, but the realization hit hard—I couldn’t attain either. Even if by some miracle I did, I'd likely find myself yearning for yet another elusive "other." It was the essence of humanity, an insatiable hunger that could never be fully satiated.

I couldn't escape from that truth. No matter how far I ran or how deeply I delved into my thoughts, I'd always circle back to the same longing, the same dissatisfaction with the status quo.

So, perhaps it didn't matter in the end. I mused, even the abyss of my thoughts offered solace compared to the unforgiving landscape of reality.

Or maybe tha-

THUD!!

The sudden noise jolted me out of my reverie, pulling me back to the reality of the classroom.

As I was immersed in my musings, lost in the labyrinth of my thoughts, I felt the table vibrate beneath my fingertips, a sensation akin to a subtle punch. I heard faint voices call out to me, Startled, I glanced up to find Dave, The love of my life.

This text was taken from Royal Road. Help the author by reading the original version there.

I fucking hate this piece of shit. I let my eyes wander, scanning the surroundings and landing on the them—the children, Dave’s real life slaves. The other shitheads.

Isn't today just beautiful?

And then there's Dave. A walking embodiment of everything I despise. He's the epitome of a generic bully straight out of movies, animes, manhwas... you get the idea. Now, I don't typically body shame people, but this guy is on a whole other level. I'm talking Oscars at the age of 6, Best Movie Director at 8, and last year's NBA finalist. If any of that were true, I might actually respect him. But no, this guy? He's just absolute human garbage.

I don’t think he even realizes he's fat. He probably thinks it's normal, having being spoiled with all the culinary delights he could ever want. But the real issue here is that he's a complete bitch about it. He has the audacity to body shame others?

It's like cutting off your own arm. It's an absolute betrayal to whatever fat community he's supposed to be representing. And the cherry on top? He's a freaking bully. How cliché can a character get? If we were characters in a novel or something, I'd want to have a word with the author because why, just why.

His stocky frame and insufferable demeanor make him the quintessential tormentor, a walking stereotype of teenage cruelty. His features are as unremarkable as they come, yet he struts about with the arrogant swagger of someone who has made a career out of making others miserable.

He's been after me, and I mean relentless pursuit, ever since I set foot in this God-awful school. The students here are two-faced and self-centered, a toxic cocktail that churns my stomach.

He’s talking louder now? Oh, right, I still have my headphones on. I hastily remove them as he goes completely apeshit.

"AY ALI, DID YOU DO WHAT I ASKED YOU TO?" he bellows, his voice piercing through the classroom.

I rack my brain, trying to recall what he’s talking about, but it's like grasping at smoke. “NOTHING TO SAY? ANSWER ME!” he roars, his frustration mounting with each passing moment.

For a fleeting moment, I entertain the thought of him stumbling over and meeting a timely demise. But the harsh reality hits me: if he did fall, I'd likely be the one to perish under the weight of his wrath.

My brain is a blank slate, devoid of any memory of what he was talking about. So, I take a gamble.

“Ye-yeah? I di-d,” I stutter, my words stumbling out in a desperate attempt to appease him. He starts grinning, his greasy smirk stretching across his face, and I can't help but loathe the sight of it.

“So… What’d she say?” he asks in a surprisingly calm tone, a sharp contrast to his usual demeanor.

She? Oh, right, he must be talking about Aria.

Shit. I forgot to ask her.

To clarify, this meathead wanted me to ask Aria if she’d go out with him.

Pffpt! As if.

Beside the fact that he was gifted with a wealthy family, he was not blessed with a brain... or balls.

I answered hesitantly, “She said uh-ye-yes.” Great, another gamble. Aren’t I just on a roll today? I should’ve checked my horoscope; maybe today's the day I finally win the lottery of whatever the fuck life has to offer.

The words were unplanned and unintended. The realization hits me like a freight train. I had just practically dug my own grave, and my executioner was none other than Dave himself.

"Shit, I didn't think you'd be able to pull it off," Dave remarks with an irritating mixture of surprise and approval.

Internal monologue: “……………………………”

I suppress the urge to respond to his taunt, reminding myself that confrontation won't serve me well in this situation. I merely nod in acknowledgment.

"So, do I just go ask her out now, right?" Dave queries, his voice taking on a tentative tone, an unusual sight for the school's resident bully. My own response wavers as I mumble, "y-yeah, go for it," my reluctance evident.

In an inexplicable turn of events, he extends a hand and "pats" my head with a patronizing pat. I can't help but wonder, what the hell? It's a gesture that leaves me feeling simultaneously demeaned and weak. There's not much I can do to prevent it, so I let it happen.

Dave then turns on his heel and departs, his laughter echoing down the hallway. He sounds content, even hopeful, completely unaware of the slim chance he stands with Aria. It's as if he's never truly seen himself in the mirror.

With a resigned sigh, I replace my headphones. The music playing is from some random song I've never heard before, yet it carries a strangely pleasant melody. As the notes wash over me, I take solace in the temporary escape it offers from the turmoil of the world around me, allowing me to retreat into my thoughts once more.