We walked.
It seemed strange, after so long spent full-out. After everything that had happened? After my run-in with Darren, and the mountain, and meeting Shiina? Simply being able to walk, to just watch the day go past, was a new experience, and one that I had to appreciate.
The reality of the situation became apparent immediately. Somewhere along the line my body had healed. That was good. Unfortunately, the same miracle did not apply to my clothes. Purely human again, I found the tatters remaining of my shirt tucked into my weathered, torn pants. And that was the sum of my resources - a pair of pants, and a few scraps of fabric. Lost in the woods.
At first there was a certain amount of novelty to it. I might be mostly naked, without food or a weapon, lost in a forest. But it was a forest I’d never seen before, and I could take some amount of enjoyment from the experience. That’s what I told myself, anyway. No, it didn’t help. With Shiina chattering away ahead of me about anything she saw, it was easy to find myself settling into a comfortable routine. For a while, it was simply enough to pull my heavy limbs through one more step, to focus on making it around the next riverbed. Through it all the mountain gushed smoke and ash, coloring the evening sky dark and red.
We were out of the worst of it, safely tucked away here. But Drenwell wouldn’t be safe, I knew. I tried not to think about it, focusing on the walking.
The first night came and went with no sign of life from anywhere around us. The first pangs of hunger were beginning to set in all too readily. I tried to catch fish from the river - all I got was wet. I was too slow, too loud. My limbs ached and creaked as I climbed out of the water. If there were rabbits or small game in whatever this country was called, they were keeping their distance from us. I glared at Shiina whenever my stomach rumbled. With the pit of my belly growling, I remembered all too clearly the way animals had been fleeing from the lands around her mountain range for the year or two prior to her awakening. I decided then and there I was going to blame her for the lack of game.
I fell asleep as soon as my head touched the ground. Shiina had vanished somewhere - off to bother another of her followers, no doubt. I was too tired to care.
The second day brought with it even more hunger and newfound determination along with them. I was the Charred, whatever that was worth. I was not going to starve in some rotten, sad forest. I gleefully devoured the first bushful of bright red berries I found, reveling in the sweet taste and the full feeling it brought. It was enough to rouse myself from the stupor that was settling over me, however briefly.
The second night was spent vacating my stomach of all of the berries I had eaten. Shiina was gone again as soon as soon as I found a place to curl up on the riverbanks. I wished I could join her.
The third morning I managed to bring down a waterfowl with a well-timed fireball. I also managed to put it out before it had blackened too badly, which was enough to put a smile on my face. That day I ate like a king. Shiina lounged across the fire from me, clearly bored. I glared at her regardless.
“What is it, oh Charred of mine?” she finally said, sighing as she pushed herself upright.
“How far do we still have to go?” I said bluntly. I was done being polite. Thankfully, she didn’t seem to mind the abrupt question. She merely pursed her lips as she thought.
“I’m not sure, little cinder. Perhaps another few days, or as much as a week? Possibly two. If we continue making passable time,” she said.
I narrowed my eyes. The thought was enough to make my stomach scream again, even freshly filled with bird.
“You can’t....figure out anything a little more precise than that? Or find some way to help out a little?” I asked. “If I starve out here, then I’ll be just as dead as if Darren killed me in Goldenvale, you know.”
Her fingers tapped on her leg as she shrugged. “I cannot sense a village in our immediate vicinity, Takio. And you’ve got all of the options you should need available to you. Of course, I’m still largely weakened from our flight, but with your continued aid that will pass. My-”
“Hold on,” I interrupted. “My ‘continued aid’? What’s that mean?”
Her ears flushed. “Well...Isn’t it obvious? Your goddess is a pale shadow of her former glory, and you’re merely strolling along a riverside trail. Naturally, it is your duty to pass on whatever strength you may, and-”
“You’ve been leeching off me?” My voice was high-pitched with indignation. The red was spreading across her cheeks now. “I’ve got no food, no weapons, not so much as a cloak to keep the chill out, and you’ve been scooping energy off the top?” My arms folded resolutely across my chest. “So this is why I’ve been so out-of-sorts. Isn’t it?”
“Well, I suppose that to a certain extent, it might…” she trailed off, but I wasn’t listening anyway. I peered across the little fire at her. Something was off. Something wasn’t right.
The little details were too small to mean anything on their own. But once I began seeing them, the picture it painted was all too clear. Her pants, once bare and plain, were carefully stitched around the hems with new embroidery. The rough fur around the edges of her boots was now soft and plush. Bone pins held her hair back.
I glared at her. And tapped my own ragged pant leg meaningfully. “So, what. You’ve been soaking up my strength to get an outfit upgrade?”
She grinned, crossing her own arms to match. “Nothing of the sort, child. Or...not entirely. This appearance is merely a reflection of my divine self, you see. I may be plain and humble now, but as I regain my former splendor, this form will be rejuvenated as well.”
“And you’ve gotten all that power from me.” My tone was thoroughly unimpressed.
She scoffed, waving a hand in front of her nose derisively. “Of course not. Thousands witnessed the mountain burning, you know. They saw it and their faith was rekindled!” She pumped her fist energetically. And then faltered as her eyes flicked to my unimpressed gaze. “That is, well, despite our loss in Goldenvale, my name is being spoken again more than it has been in years. My strength is beginning to return, and will continue to do so as long as we continue making progress.”
I sighed. “Lovely. Truly. Glad to hear it. If you’re feeling all refreshed and energetic, then, would you be terribly bothered by helping? Some food would be a good start. Or a bow I can hunt with. Or some proper directions.”
She pouted. “Really, child, you’re surrounded by life, and you can’t so much as feed yourself? It seems you’ve managed perfectly fine so far,” she said with a wave to my lunch.
I glared at her. “I would do better if someone wasn’t scaring everything away from me. Or making me slow and loud.”
Her hesitation told me that she knew I wasn’t wrong, even if she was too proud to admit it. Finally, she shook her head, reaching behind her. “Oh, very well. I suppose that the Flameweaver granting her scion a token of her favor is only to be expected, yes?”
From a pouch on the back of her belt Shiina produced a tiny, fabric-wrapped bundle, which she promptly slapped down into my waiting hand. I stared at her. She gestured at it impatiently.
“Well, hurry up. We haven’t the time for you to waste being dumbfounded.”
Tentatively I began unwrapping it. It fell open to reveal a strange, curved knife, the blade a little longer than my hand. It was just plain black metal, but it gleamed. It was, unmistakably, the knife little Raoka had attacked me with. The fabric had already disintegrated to ash in my hands, scattering on the wind. I leveled a glare at her.
“A knife.”
She beamed.
I frowned. “I suppose it’s something. Ah. Thanks.”
Her head cocked to the side. “Such lackluster gratitude. Have I not sufficiently answered your prayers?”
“Could I get a shirt?” I asked plainly. It was a tiny, pathetic statement, but dammit, I was cold.
She sighed. “Do I look like a merchant?” she demanded, radiating affront. “A beloved keepsake of your predecessor is an expected gift from one as radiant as myself. I am not merely a dispenser of undergarments.”
I glared. She folded her arms resolutely. I broke first. It was something, I supposed. A knife and a pair of pants was better than just the pants.
“Fine. Thank you for the knife, Shiina.”
“You are welcome, Takio,” she responded immediately, earning a second, more pointed glare from me. She smiled still, fully aware of what she was doing. It seems she had taken her threat to me seriously, and intended on forcing her new name for me into my subconscious whether I wanted it or not.
“So you really have no clue where we are?” I asked plaintively. “Not even a suggestion?
“No. We are too far removed from my mountain. I am not the map you are looking for.”
“Not even with all that newfangled strength you’re getting from your followers?”
“No.”
“Not even-”
“Do not ask me again, little cinder.”
I chuckled as I stood and kicked dirt over my little fire. She was who she was, goddess and all. I was coming to accept that. But that didn’t mean I was going to let her get a free pass. If she wanted respect and adulation from her Charred, she chose poorly. From the smirk she was doing a bad job of hiding, she was listening in - even though she’d said she wouldn’t. I let it slide this time.
With no alternative, I pushed onward along the river. It was a landmark for me to follow, if nothing else. Idly, I tried spinning the knife by the loop in its hilt. After the third time a dropped spin nearly landed it in the river and earned me a glare, I tucked it into my waistband and let it be and focused on walking.
It was a pleasant enough path. There weren’t birds, thanks to my companion, but the river was clear and fast. Even better, the trail was steadily widening the farther I walked, which seemed like a good sign. Maybe, just maybe, we were getting back to something resembling civilization. For the first time in a few days I had a full stomach and a weapon. I might not have a shirt on my back, but, well. Small steps. Despite myself, I was smiling. It was easy to get lost in my own mind, when things were finally beginning to look up.
Lost enough that at first I didn’t notice Shiina’s meaningful glances, or her hissed warnings. I didn’t notice anything at all, in fact, right up until the sound of laughter reached my ears.
I stopped in my tracks, looking over. Just a short distance away, four men were sitting around the remnants of a fire tucked into the shade of the treeline. Rough canvas tents were arranged haphazardly a little farther back. They saw me about the same time I saw them. Their jaws dropped open almost in unison.
I was frozen, watching them watch me. Merchants? I wondered. Hunters, out in the wilds? Perhaps fishermen. Or locals, from a nearby village?
They leapt to their feet, grabbing at rusty weapons. I heard them cursing as they advanced on me.
“Dammit, Tobe. I told you to keep an eye on the trail,” one said a low hiss. He winced as the sun blinded him. The others were all squinting equally.
I raised my hands slowly, leaning back onto my heels. “All good, folks. I’m not here for a fight. Not going to need those weapons.” I put on my best disarming grin. “I’m just looking for a town. Or a village. Anything like that around here?”
“Wavebinder’s ass, would you shut up?” the first speaker said, still trying to see me through bleary eyes. “Hands where I can see them. No games, now.”
Bandits, then. Yes, that seemed much more in line with my luck.
He had a spear out in front of him. I could guess from the rust stains coating its surface and the awkward, unsure way he gripped it he’d never properly trained a day in his life. And yet, he was clothed, fed, and rested - while I had a knife and a pair of pants.
All things considered, it was probably a fair match. It still wasn’t a fight I wanted to have.
I put my hands up, still standing comfortably on the riverbank.
“Hey,” the second one finally said. His eyes narrowed, fixated on me. He had a skinning dagger hanging from his belt, with one hand resting on the hilt. He seemed altogether more comfortable with all this than his companions. That worried me. “Guy’s broke. Ain’t even got clothes.”
“Shit, Perrin. I ain’t in this for a beggar’s prize.” The third was laughing even as he spoke, settling his hatchet back onto his shoulder. I gave the thing a cursory inspection. Fresh from chopping wood for the fire, if I were any guess.
“He’s got crazy eyes,” the man with the dagger said. His voice was calm, but brooding. “Spirit-touched, like. Or maybe he’s got some demon blood in ‘im, somethin’ like that. He’s trouble.”
I furrowed my brows. That was rude. Uncalled for. It’d been a difficult few days, sure. And...well, I was spirit-touched, of a sort. But they didn’t have to say it.
“Uh,” I managed. Their eyes snapped back to me. “Are you, ah. Trying to rob me?” I tried to keep the laugh out of my voice. “Little problem with that, fellows. Think you’ve spotted it. We good?”
Slowly, I inched back towards the path. Maybe if I just left they’d think no more of it.
“That’s a fool’s move, you know,” Shiina said from alongside me as I worked my foot back towards the trail. “They have weapons, clothes, food, camping supplies, you name it. Gaze upon the bounty I have delivered to my beloved Ascended!”
You didn’t even know they were here, I thought back sharply. Don’t think I’ll let you take credit for this. She deflated almost immediately. And I’m not going to just kill random strangers for a shirt.
She made a face at me. I was too busy creeping backwards.
From the way the three were completely ignoring her, I presumed she was only visible to my eyes. How fortunate for me. That probably meant she wouldn’t be stepping in on my behalf, either.
“Wait,” the man with the dagger said. I froze, stopping my snail-paced escape.
“Let the poor bastard go, Tobe,” the one with the axe said. “He ain’t got nothin’ worth takin’. I ain’t interested.”
Tobe turned to glare at his companion. He didn’t say anything, but his eyes broadcast exactly how little he appreciated the input.
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The two were occupied with each other. Slowly, so slowly, I lowered my hands, as though I was tired. I’d just rest them on my hips, like I was taking stock of the situation. They probably wouldn’t-
“Nuh-uh,” the one with the spear said, laughing under his breath. The tip of the spear reached across the gap to settle somewhere in the vicinity of my collarbone. “None of that, now. Keep ‘em high.”
I sighed, doing as he said.
“You can take them, you know,” Shiina chirped happily. She was right in front of the one with the axe, leaning in for a better look. “Even with just the knife. Even unarmed. You have my magic, and a bit of common sense. These ugly charmers have nothing of the sort.”
Enough. Quiet, I mentally hissed back at her. You’re distracting me.
The one with the axe shifted uncomfortably, giving the spear-holder a sour look. He glared right back.
“Don’t be like that, Saol,” the spear-wielder said. He didn’t sound happy, but he wasn’t overly bothered either. “We let him go, he’ll go runnin’ straight to the wave-watchers. Then we’ll have a squad breathing down our necks. Cuts into the business, yeah?”
“Hold on, now,” I said, trying to regain control of the conversation. “I’m lost. You point me to town, I’m not even going to remember the way back here, chances are. And what kind of gratitude would it be to tattle on my saviors?” I kept the stupid grin plastered onto my face - but I also kept an eye on that spear tip.
“I’m not interested in killin’ if we don’t get nothin’ for it,” Axe-man muttered.
I pointed to him eagerly.
“That’s what I’m saying, Saol- Can I call you Saol?” I blustered furiously. “I’m-” I tried to give my name, I really did, but my breath caught in my throat. Shiina giggled. Finally, I gave in. “I’m Takio. Been walking a long way, with a long way to go still. I’m-I’m on a pilgrimage,” I said in a rush, seeing the way Tobe’s eyes flicked coldly back to me. His fingers still rested comfortably on his knife.
“A pilgrimage,” the spear-wielder said. His tone was decidedly unconvinced, but the tip of his spear dipped towards the ground.
“Yes!” I seized upon my chance without hesitation. “Off to Efren’s temple. Very important! Have to see it. Only I- ran out of money halfway. And then I got lost in a storm. Lost everything I had left,” I said, trying to look as despondent as I could.
I heard Shiina howling with laughter, somewhere behind me. I didn’t have time to waste glaring at her.
“Come on, Perrin.” Saol had his hand on the spear-wielder’s shoulder. “This ain’t earnin’ us dinner. There’ll be better targets closer to Mistharbor. Leave the man be.”
I kept my silence, watching anxiously. Finally, Perrin laughed. It was a thin sound, and more than a little forced, but I took it for what it was - a sign that he probably wasn’t going to attack me.
He sneered at me one last time. And then the three of them waved me off roughly.
No directions. No clothes. No food. This had not been a productive interruption to my morning. I masked a sigh, and turned back to the trail.
Shiina was in front of me when I turned. Her arms were crossed.
“You are soft,” she accused me. Her eyes were still orange, but I could see blue dancing around the edges. “You have been crying for help all morning like a poor helpless child. And then it lands in your lap, and you won’t take it?”
“They’re not looking for a fight, so I’m not going to kill them,” I muttered.
She made a face up at me, her jaw jutting stubbornly out. “That isn’t the point! You can take them. Bring the fight to them!” she cried.
I glared at her. “I know I can take them. They’re asses. They’re a bunch of thugs with weapons they don’t know the first thing about using. If I wanted to fight, they’d be dead. That isn’t the problem. But-” I opened my mouth to argue the point, and then stopped.
Like it or not, she wasn’t wrong. These three might have let me go, but only because it didn’t benefit them. If I walked away and left them? They’d just turn around and go after the next traveler who passed by. And whoever came next would likely not have a goddess riding in their head, keeping them safe.
Could I justify sparing these three, if it meant more people would be hurt down the road?
“Ah- Little cinder? You’ve got a friend,” I heard Shiina say sheepishly. And then I sighed, realizing that I’d been speaking out loud the entire time.
I turned, pulling the knife from my waistband in a single motion. It fit into my hand like it was made for it - which in a way, it had been. Perrin was stalking up the path towards me, his face a mixture of angry and satisfied. Whatever excuse he’d been looking for to get into a fight with me, he had just found it. His rusty spear was up. He didn’t bother saying anything as he saw me turn. He just thrust the blade.
I ducked just in time. I could feel the rush of air on my back as the spear swished past me. If I had been wearing a shirt, it probably would have been torn.
“Woah!” I yelled, spinning around to face him more fully. Saol was lingering half a step behind with his axe, clearly unsure still but willing to fight if Perrin was. What a savior he turned out to be, I thought sourly. Tobe was still standing right where he had been, still holding his knife. And he was still watching me. The fact he hadn’t moved brought me no comfort at all.
Perrin was still attacking, still trying to get at me with that rusted spear. But his strikes were wide, his movements clumsy. This body I was wearing was still too soft for my liking, but it was a simple matter to duck inside the blows. My hand grasped his wrist, holding him steady. He was a big man, bulkier than I was. But he was overextended.
It was the work of a moment to slide my knife up and over. He screamed as his sleeve stained red. I dipped down into my well, watching as the blade of the knife seared white-hot. I gritted my teeth as he shrieked in pain. It was just the tendons. He’d live, if he bound it properly. I’d been as kind as I could be. I jumped back as he dropped the spear to the ground.
“Stop,” I said. “You’re done.” He glared up at me, panting for breath through the pain. “Just stay down. I didn’t want to fight you.” He scrabbled for the haft of his spear. I stomped it back down to the ground. A few of his fingers might have broken in the process. Couldn’t say.
The sound of footsteps coming from behind was all the warning I got. Tobe was already within striking range, silent and cold-eyed. That knife was off of his belt and in his hand. I swore as I saw him coming in swinging. Raoka’s knife seemed useful enough, but a blocking blade it was not. I got my other arm up in time to take the blow on my forearm instead of my neck. It stung, but I would manage. I swore loudly as the hot wetness dripped down my arm. And then I pushed my arm past his dagger, grabbing tightly to his wrist.
Smoke billowed out as my palm superheated. I could feel the mana draining from my well, but it seemed like mere drops off the top - the depths were untouched. Just when had my well deepened so much? It felt completely different from how it had been just days before.
Tobe was still swearing, his arm burned bright red. He clung to his knife still, desperately trying to angle it back towards me. One inch after another, the tip of my blade dug into his arm. The knife fell from his limp fingers.
Something was off. Something was very, very wrong. There was no way I should be this comfortable with a weapon I’d just picked up. Sure, I’d practiced with knives. It was easy to find a knife, in the same way it was difficult to find a sword. Knives were cheap. Darren had been learning how to fight with a knife since we were old enough to run free in the village. I’d followed soon after, a step behind as always. But those were long knives, straight-bladed and plain. Fighting with a curved blade was completely different - and yet my body was moving almost on its own.
I saw her then. Shiina, standing near the edge of the river. Her hair billowed out behind her as she watched me, unmoving.
“This your doing?” I grunted out under my breath as I ducked a wild swing from Tobe. He might have lost use of his arm, but that hadn’t stopped him from trying to get at me. The man was a few idols short of a temple, I was realizing. Completely single-minded.
This would have been your birthright. If you were a proper Charred, I heard her say in my head.
“Oh.” I blocked another blow with my wounded arm, wincing at the jolt of pain. I could see Saol, maneuvering around Tobe to try and find the best way to get in on the fight. Perrin was sneaking off into the bushes behind him, his eyes wild and his arm bloody. I snorted. Courageous leader, that one. “So, what. You’re getting me back up to speed?” If Tobe heard my voice, if he wondered why I was talking to myself mid-fight, he didn’t say anything.
Something along those lines, yes. My Charred should always be able to fight with dignity.
Tobe was panting more heavily. He staggered as he pulled another knife from the back of his belt.
I hesitated. “Nice thought, Shiina.” And then I held my free hand out, motioning for him to stop. I stared him right in the eyes. “Don’t. Bad idea.”
Saol came in from the side with a roar, any secrecy forgotten. My legs were already moving, sliding into his stride. My arm came up to brace against his momentum. The man tumbled into the dirt seconds later as I tripped him. His hatchet flew free, landing halfway back to the river. Shiina stepped aside gracefully, allowing it to sail past her. Tobe was moving, though, attacking again.
I really didn’t want to kill him. I had been insulting him, even if he was a bandit. I’d instigated the fight. I’d rather keep my hands clean.
But at the same time, it would be the height of hubris to assume that I could simply sail through life, keeping my own hands pristine and blood-free while I fixed all the wrongs of the world. That was a prideful notion. That wasn’t the way the world worked.
Shiina was watching me. Expectantly. She’d trusted me enough to make a man she barely knew her Charred. She’d given me enough power to reach my goals. And she expected me to do better.
I’d already killed to get here. I had tried to convince myself that I had done it out of self defense. I blamed the blood on my hands on the binding, on Darren. But Raoka’s eyes still stared back at me, daring me to argue. She didn’t care what it was that had done it. It didn’t matter. She was still dead, along with everyone who had vanished in the fires back at Goldenvale. They knew the truth, even if I was having trouble coming to terms with it.
I was in this for revenge. Shiina was in this for revenge. That wasn’t some noble goal, and I shouldn’t expect to be allowed to hold to childish concepts of heroism while I pushed for it.
I was in this to win. Whatever came of it, whoever died, whoever I had to kill to reach my goal, I would accept that. And I would charge it forward, when the time came to call Rellan to task. That’s what I told myself.
And then I put my knife through the fleshy underside of Tobe’s jaw.
He sagged to the ground, limp and lifeless as the tip of my dagger plunged into his brain. Slowly, ever so slowly, I pulled my knife free. Saol had frozen, still half-risen from his place on the ground. I stared at him a long, unsure moment. I could see the crossroads in front of me.
What would Shiina do? The question raced through my head, circling. And then I rose. The mask slid on all too easily as I looked at her smiling face. Such a proud mother.
I pulled my knife free, stepping over the dead body casually. I wiped the blade clean on Tobe’s pants - although ‘clean’ is a relative term, considering the sorry state of the fabric - and then I squatted beside him. I smiled down at Saol. He was bone-white by then, shaking like a leaf.
“Up for more?” I asked gently, hoping for all the world he’d stay down. I could see his hand, half-hidden behind him as he tried to find something. A rock, a knife. Anything to protect himself. He froze as I nodded towards the motion, his eyes going wide.
“That’s- I- Uh, well…..No,” he said, swallowing roughly. I smiled wider, patting the curve of my knife down onto my knee.
“That’s good to hear. Your friend took off already.” I said, motioning towards the bushes where Perrin had vanished. I didn’t think it was possible, but Saol paled even more. His head snapped back over his shoulder, staring intently into the foliage as though he could make his companion appear again. He swore - something intense, and foul.
“Seems you’ve got yourself a bit of a situation,” I said with a chuckle, hoping my own nervousness wasn’t showing. “See, I was going to leave. I was leaving. Actively going elsewhere. Then your best buddy there decided he wanted to make this a fight, and dragged you in with him.” I tapped the point of the blade against my temple. “I don’t think that’s very fair, do you? For him to just skate off and leave you to clean up his mess?”
Saol shook his head wordlessly. His lips were trembling. “That’s- Not fair. Not fair at all.”
I smiled broadly. “Good man, Saol. Right. Now, I’m not an unkind type. I know, I know, you did attack me with an axe. But you didn’t really want to, did you?”
If his head shook any faster, he was going to make himself ill. I patted his shoulder, with my blood-covered right hand. The wounds were already searing closed. I wondered if I’d have scars, either from the constant burning or the myriad cuts I was winding up with of late. He flinched back from the motion.
“Right. See, I understand, Saol. And I’m prepared to make you a deal, since I know you didn’t really want to hurt me.”
His eyes widened ever so slightly. He wasn’t shaking so violently anymore.
“Like I said, I’m a little lost,” I said, offering him a reassuring smile. “And I appear to have lost all of my traveling possessions. You’ve, well, how should I say this? You’ve got quite a lot here, don’t you? You wouldn’t mind giving a friend some directions and a bit of aid for his trip, would you?”
His eyebrows pulled together as he looked at me. There was confusion written into every line of his expression, as though he couldn’t fathom how he was getting off so easily. I patted him on the shoulder once more.
“Great. Perfect. And of course, I’ll be sure to give you a proper head start, before I speak with these ‘wave-watchers’. To go find your friend, of course. I imagine they’ll be most interested to speak with him. Don’t you agree?”
He gulped, moving to scramble to his feet. My hand came down, perfectly calm. He froze as the tip of my knife settled down onto his knee. Not cutting, just...sitting. I was looking now, between him and the fallen Tobe. Tobe was more my size, but I didn’t want to look like a murderer walking around a foreign country. It would be nearly impossible to wash out all of that blood.
“Just one more thing,” I said.
As it turned out, the trail we were on was soon to become a proper road. The next town down, Mistharbor, was still a week or more out, but I felt better at the sight of the beaten dirt path. No more trails. Back into civilization we went.
All according to the supremely helpful Saol, of course, and we went in style. His tunic fit better than I had hoped, and he had a pleasantly warm leather overcoat hidden away inside his tent - which now sat rolled up on my back, over the thick, hooded cloak he had so kindly offered. He had even thrown in a bag of coins, which jingled softly from an inside pocket.
All in all, I considered this a good day.
Shiina was out in front of me, whistling happily at some tune stuck in her mind. The sun was slowly setting overhead, leaving me squinted as I tried to clean the bloodstains from Raoka’s knife. It wasn’t going well.
“Godsdamned sun and spirit,” I muttered to myself, finally giving up and walking over to the ever-present river. It seemed that half the roads in this damned country followed the winding streams. I wasn’t thrilled about the idea of getting my new boots wet (another thoughtful present from Saol), but I needed to get the blade clean or it would stain.
With that in mind I tolerated the wet squish of the grass under my feet as I stepped onto the riverbank. The water was shallow here, calmer. An inlet, I reasoned, as I scrubbed away at it.
I was tired. Thoughts of the day hung heavy in my mind. Killing one man, maiming another, and threatening a third? I didn’t regret it, necessarily - I’d only done what I had to - but I did regret the fact that it was necessary in the first place.
Despite the exhaustion, my thoughts whirled still. Crazy eyes, Tobe had said. He had said I had demon blood. He called me spirit-touched. What an asshole, I thought to myself, chuckling softly. That man really had been crazy. What a thing to say to someone. I leaned out over the still, calm water, brushing the hair out of my face as I peered down. Darren had been called many things, but never-
I froze. My heart accelerated. Darren’s face stared back at me, his golden hair bright in my reflection. Even the cloud of blood drifting off my knife couldn’t darken the glow he’d always had about him.
But around the rims of those blue eyes was a thin band of bright orange. Thin, yes, but very much there.
“Shiina!” I yelped, my voice thin. I leaned closer, nose nearly touching the water’s surface.
“Hmm? What now, child?” I heard her say behind me, striding back down the road. I ignored her, examining my reflection more intently.
My eyes were two-tone. I gaped at it. And….yes. Darren’s hair was still gold. I tugged at the ends until I could see them, confirming that they were their normal platinum blond. And yet, I had clearly seen the color fading in my reflection, shifting to a dim, muted grey at the roots as though someone had rubbed ash in my hair.
“W-What the hell is going on?” I said. “Why the hell are my eyes and hair all wrong?”
She tilted her head, examining me. “You just now noticed?” she asked, her voice disbelieving. I stared at her. She chuckled. “You saw Raoka, yes?”
I paused. I…had seen Raoka. A little girl, with fiercely glowing orange eyes and ash-grey hair.
Oh.
I narrowed my eyes at Shiina. She laughed harder.
“Is this permanent?”
“Oh, yes,” she said from behind an upraised hand. I scowled harder. “It’s not your body anyway, dearest Takio. You should be grateful for such an improvement to that man’s horrible, hideous face.”
I allowed the logical continuation of that to pass - that in time, this would happen to my own body, once I returned to it.
“So, what? This is just another wonderful, blessed part of being the Charred?” I spat.
She wiped a tear away, calming herself. “Merely an embodiment of your body changing to accept my power. You’ve felt the changes already, of course.”
I…had noticed my well deepening beyond what it had any reason to be. And she’d gifted me with the knife skills so easily. I frowned at her still, but in truth, I couldn’t be that angry. I didn’t mind looking different from Darren. It’d be nice to rub in his face, when I saw him next.
Finally, I shrugged, taking a deep breath. “All right. I’ll deal with it. For now. But no more secrets,” I said, waggling a finger at her.
She only shrugged, laughing again. “Yes, yes. I am an open book. Are you done yet, child?”
I shook my head, ignoring her blatant lie. And then I tucked the knife back into my belt (courtesy of Saol).
Somewhere ahead of us, Efren was waiting. The sooner there, the sooner finished.
We walked.